Look Inside To Find The Answers You Seek

, , , , | Right | October 25, 2019

(A woman comes to the registers with an opened wireless mouse. Note that most wireless mice at the time keep the USB attachment inside the mouse’s battery case to prevent loss.)

Customer: “I need to return this.”

Me: “Certainly. Might I ask why?”

(It’s our standard question; we’ll take back almost anything, but I need to know why so I can mark it as saleable or damaged.)

Customer: “It didn’t have the little USB thing.”

(The customer points to the already opened and thoroughly inspected packaging.)

Me: “Woah, really?”

Customer: “Yeah, I looked everywhere.”

Me: “Huh, not even on the inside?”

Customer: “Not even… inside?”

(I open up the mouse’s battery pack and sure enough, there’s the USB.)

Customer: “I don’t need to return this.”

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Wouldn’t Believe It If It Wasn’t On Camera!

, , , , , , | Legal | September 25, 2019

(I manage a small art supply store in a college town. One day early in the semester, a young man comes in and asks for help in putting together a set of oil painting supplies as cheaply as possible. I go around the store with him for several minutes, adding things to his basket.)

Customer: *asking out of the blue* “Do you have security cameras?”

(I look around at the many “You’re on camera!” signs around the store, figuring he must be joking.)

Me: *chirpy voice* “That would be telling!”

Customer: “Oh.”

(He set down the basket and left the store. Nice to know some thieves are easily discouraged!)

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Unfiltered Story #163285

, , , | Unfiltered | September 17, 2019

(I am working the drive-thru at (coffee shop) and this college-age guy walks up to the front register. There are no cars currently, so I go to take his order)
Me: Hello, what can I get for you?
Customer: How much are these? *puts pack of mints on counter*
Me: *scans mints* $2.15
Customer: So much would it be for four of them?
Me: *is a bit confused, but starts to scan the mints four times*
Customer: Because I need to buy a gift for Veronica Android the high witch of California and her sister the witch of North Carolina all hail Lucifer he will come back and they think I’m not going to send them a gift but they don’t know that I’m sending them one. They’ll be surprised. So I need a gift for the witches how much please?
Me: …….Um……
Customer: Are these naturally or artificially flavored?
Me: I don’t know
Customer: Are you refusing me customer service? Does anyone else hear this? This person is refusing to answer my question!
Me: No I’m not refusing, but if you look at the packaging it doesn’t say
*shift supervisor comes over*
Supervisor: Sir do you want to buy these?
*I slip away back to the drive thru to take an order and this customer proceeds to stay in the store another 2 hours and talk very loudly about crazy religious stuff and devil worship and witches and make everyone very uncomfortable*

Unfiltered Story #163219

, , , | Unfiltered | September 12, 2019

All of the liquor we have, with the exception of the well is prominently displayed on the wall behind the bar.

Customer: What kind of vodka do you have?

Me: I have literally everything you see behind me.

Customer: I’ll have a skyy and soda.

Me: I’m sorry I don’t have skyy do you have a second choice?

Customer: No skyy? I’ll just have grey goose then.

Me: ….

Unfiltered Story #161882

, , , | Unfiltered | September 1, 2019

In our store, we have a regular deal where you get a ten dollar coupon for every certain amount you spend. Because of this, I try to inform a customer whenever they’re within ten dollars of getting the coupon. We also sell several small items around the register for the exact purpose of filling out the bill. In this case I ring up a man and his family who have several coupons, including a percentage and a conditional dollars-off.

Me: And the total comes to [Price]. I’m afraid you’re still a bit short for your ten-of-thirty coupon. Furthermore, the socks are buy-one-get-one-half-off and you’re only five dollars away from your [Store Coupon].

Wife: Okay, give me a minute.

She walks back to get a few more items, leaving me and her husband in silence.

Me: You know, those chocolate bars are only 2.95. Just two of them would get you the [Store Coupon].

Man: Nah, it’s okay.

We both wait some more. At this point, a line is starting to build.

Me: Would you like me to suspend this for you? I can hold the items here at the register.

Man: Yeah, that’d be great.

Later, the man and his family return. They’ve brought a few more items with them, one of which finally makes them eligible for the ten-off-thirty.

Me: Okay, your total comes to price. Also, due to the ten-off-thirty activating, you’re still five dollars short of getting [Store Coupon]. Would you like to get something more to fill it out? We have some 2.95 chocolate bars right here, plus a few other options on our gift card kiosk.

Man: Nah, just cancel it.

Me: Void the order? You sure?

Man: Yeah.

I void the order, and start to take the items down to the recovery bin.

Man: Wait, give those to me.

Me: Sir, if you don’t want these, we can reshelve them for you.

Man: No, I do want them.

Me: Okay?

Man: I’m just gonna buy them on the other end.

He walks away with the items, and I turn to my coworker mouthing ‘did that just happen?’