Unfiltered Story #181219

, , , | Unfiltered | January 3, 2020

(I was a barista at a major coffee chain, working the bar at a somewhat slow period- we had a lot of people in the cafe but very few in line. I was making drinks at the espresso bar while chatting with a regular customer when some lady shoves herself in between us and starts yelling. For the record, she’d made no previous attempt to get anyone’s attention, simply stood up from her table and barged over.)

Angry lady: “I order a CHOCOLATE cookie!” *shoves pastry bag in my face*

I look in the bag and it is indeed a solid chocolate cookie.

Me: *confused but polite* “…. this is a chocolate cookie.”

Angry lady: “No this is NOT what I ordered! *continues to rant about how incompetent our staff is*

It took me a minute but I’m pretty used to dealing with customers who don’t make any sense at this point.

Me: “OHHH you want the chocolate chip cookie!”

Angry lady: “YES and I want it NOW. This is ridiculous! I’ve already waited too long for anyone’s help!”

Five years working with people like this and I know exactly how to deal with them- be polite, give them what they want but take as loooong as humanly possible without looking like you’re dragging your feet.

Me: “Well I’m happy to help you with that. I’m making a drink right now but I’ll have someone else get your cookie for you.” *finishes drink I’m making and waits for the cashier to ring up the couple customers in line* “Hey, [coworker]! Can I get a chocolate chip cookie please?”

Coworker: “Sure, did you want that heated?”

Me: *MEGA POLITE* “Ma’am, did you want your cookie heated?”

Angry lady: *about to pass out from the amount of blood rushing to her head* “NO!!!”

I hand her her cookie. She storms off. I smile triumphantly.

Regular customer: “WOOOW, what a b****!”

Unfiltered Story #180412

, , , | Unfiltered | December 24, 2019

(I work as a host at a local Tex-Mex restaurant. We’re pretty popular, so we get pretty packed; sometimes we’ll have over 60 parties on the wait for a table. Store policy is that we can’t seat a party if less than half of the party isn’t in the store. Occasionally we bend this rule, but this afternoon we were swamped, and there was no way we could put incomplete parties on the list. A customer walks in, with bizarre leathery skin, like she’d spent a few too many years in a tanning bed.)

Me: Hi, how many?

Customer: Four.
(customer is by herself, but it’s always good to double check.)

Me: And is half your party here?

Customer: No, my brother and my parents are driving in, so I wanted to get a table in advance. I’m not sure when they’ll be here.

Me: I’m sorry, but I can’t seat you unless half your party is in the restaurant.

Customer: Oh. Well then why don’t you put me on the list for one, and then when they get here they can just sit with me.

Me: …I’m afraid I can’t do that.

Customer: But wouldn’t you just seat me at one of those tables over there? (customer points to a four top)

Me: Yes, but company policy is that I cannot seat a group with less than half the group members present. I can add you to the list as an incomplete party, but until at least one more person shows up, you can’t get a table.

Customer: But if you put me down as a party of one, then I can get sat right away, and they can just sit down whenever they get here.

Me: …I’m terribly sorry but I can’t put down a number for your group that isn’t accurate. If you want to wait for the rest of your party in one of our bars, you’re more than welcome to do so. The one behind me is actually full service, so you can order whatever you’d like while you wait.

(Customer spends a few more minutes trying to convince me to put her down as a party of one, before deciding to go wait at the bar. I spend the next twenty minutes or so dealing with the line of customers waiting behind her, until one of the bar waitresses runs up to the host stand)

Waitress: Did you see a woman with really tan skin go by here?!

Me: No- what happened?

Waitress: She just skipped out on her tab. If you see her, get her back over here!

(I got one of the other hosts to cover list and helped the waitress look through the restaurant, but the customer was nowhere to be seen. We finally found a manager and explained what happened. Apparently, she’d done this multiple times.)

Look Inside To Find The Answers You Seek

, , , , | Right | October 25, 2019

(A woman comes to the registers with an opened wireless mouse. Note that most wireless mice at the time keep the USB attachment inside the mouse’s battery case to prevent loss.)

Customer: “I need to return this.”

Me: “Certainly. Might I ask why?”

(It’s our standard question; we’ll take back almost anything, but I need to know why so I can mark it as saleable or damaged.)

Customer: “It didn’t have the little USB thing.”

(The customer points to the already opened and thoroughly inspected packaging.)

Me: “Woah, really?”

Customer: “Yeah, I looked everywhere.”

Me: “Huh, not even on the inside?”

Customer: “Not even… inside?”

(I open up the mouse’s battery pack and sure enough, there’s the USB.)

Customer: “I don’t need to return this.”

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Wouldn’t Believe It If It Wasn’t On Camera!

, , , , , , | Legal | September 25, 2019

(I manage a small art supply store in a college town. One day early in the semester, a young man comes in and asks for help in putting together a set of oil painting supplies as cheaply as possible. I go around the store with him for several minutes, adding things to his basket.)

Customer: *asking out of the blue* “Do you have security cameras?”

(I look around at the many “You’re on camera!” signs around the store, figuring he must be joking.)

Me: *chirpy voice* “That would be telling!”

Customer: “Oh.”

(He set down the basket and left the store. Nice to know some thieves are easily discouraged!)

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Unfiltered Story #163285

, , , | Unfiltered | September 17, 2019

(I am working the drive-thru at (coffee shop) and this college-age guy walks up to the front register. There are no cars currently, so I go to take his order)
Me: Hello, what can I get for you?
Customer: How much are these? *puts pack of mints on counter*
Me: *scans mints* $2.15
Customer: So much would it be for four of them?
Me: *is a bit confused, but starts to scan the mints four times*
Customer: Because I need to buy a gift for Veronica Android the high witch of California and her sister the witch of North Carolina all hail Lucifer he will come back and they think I’m not going to send them a gift but they don’t know that I’m sending them one. They’ll be surprised. So I need a gift for the witches how much please?
Me: …….Um……
Customer: Are these naturally or artificially flavored?
Me: I don’t know
Customer: Are you refusing me customer service? Does anyone else hear this? This person is refusing to answer my question!
Me: No I’m not refusing, but if you look at the packaging it doesn’t say
*shift supervisor comes over*
Supervisor: Sir do you want to buy these?
*I slip away back to the drive thru to take an order and this customer proceeds to stay in the store another 2 hours and talk very loudly about crazy religious stuff and devil worship and witches and make everyone very uncomfortable*