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A Whole Stairwell Full Of Wholesome Shenanigans

, , , , , , | Learning | June 12, 2022

Back in college, our dorm had a security guard that was nearing retirement age. He was a nice enough fellow who was always pretty fair. What he hated was when kids got drunk and started getting loud, causing disturbances. It always created a bunch of paperwork that he hated but his superiors demanded it every time he left the front desk.

My entire floor was full of students who were taking fairly hard classes for degrees in pre-med, engineering, teaching, pre-law, etc. We were a pretty serious group and very focused on our studies, so we never caused any trouble.

One hot night, we all had our room doors open because we had no air conditioner. We were all mostly stressed out due to finals. All of a sudden, I heard some loud voices from the stairwell. I and many others went to investigate. Several of our floormates were trying to run Slinkies down the steps. These are metal or plastic spring-like children’s toys. The old commercials would show that you could make them “walk” down steps. Someone had a box of about a dozen of them, but they couldn’t get it to work right. Before long, we had over thirty college kids all in the stairwell trying to get these things to work.  

Suddenly, the security guard came running up from the bottom floor. When he saw what was going on, he just stopped, looking at us with puzzlement.  

After we explained what we were doing, he turned around, shaking his head, and as he walked away, we heard him mumbling in a rather aggravated tone.

Security Guard: “No, couldn’t be normal college kids just getting drunk. How the heck am I going to write this up in a report that would be believable?”

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