Putting The Happy Into Happy Anniversary

| Harrisburg, PA, USA | Working | January 10, 2015

(My girlfriend and I are celebrating our third year anniversary, and I have called to make reservations. We are both females, and are often hesitant to reveal we are dating due to homophobic attitudes in our area.)

Hostess: “And will you be celebrating any special events this evening?”

Me: “Um… yes, it’s our anniversary.”

Hostess: “Happy anniversary! We’ll see you tonight at [time]!”

(Upon our arrival, all three hostesses wished us a happy anniversary, and when we got to the table, there was a card signed by the entire restaurant staff. After our meal, the manager stopped by our table to wish us a happy anniversary and gave us a complimentary dessert. The people working there made our night, and my girlfriend and I left the restaurant in all smiles. They treated us just like any other couple celebrating their anniversary; I couldn’t have asked for more!)

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A Deep And Meaningful Friendship

| The Netherlands | Friendly | January 8, 2015

(I work as a graphic and web designer. A few weeks before Christmas, I’m having dinner with a good friend after work.)

Me: “So, today I spent most of my time designing this year’s Christmas card for our company.”

Friend: “Sounds like fun!”

Me: “It was! I sometimes say it’s the most joyful thing to do each year. I brought a proof print with me. Look!”

Friend: *studies card closely*

Me: “So, what do you think of it?”

Friend: “Beautiful. Yes… it is…” *studies card more closely*

Me: “Yes…?”

Friend: “I can’t say… ummm…”

Me: “Umm? I mean, you see what it is, right?”

Friend: “Well… honestly, it’s too difficult, I guess. I’m sorry.”

Me: “It’s a Christmas cookie…”

Friend: “Well, of course I can see that! But I think I don’t get the deeper meaning.”

Me: “It’s a Christmas card! It’s for our customers. There is no deeper meaning!”

Friend: “Oh! Well since you made it, I figured… there had to be a deeper meaning!”

(That’s why I love my friends so much!)

Sandwiched Between The Bad Days

| CA, USA | Right | January 8, 2015

(A customer has picked something up to go (that my coworker prepared) all the while complaining. Apparently she had ordered food from another diner by accident and was angry when we didn’t have her food ready for her. My coworker quickly took her order and got her the food. 10 minutes later the phone rings and I am closest to the front.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

(My voice is very bubbly. In a fake bubbly voice the customer starts yelling.)

Customer: “Well, hi, [My Name]! This is the customer who wanted a pastrami melt but who got a patty melt!”

Me: “I am so sorry, ma’am. If you would like to come back I can give you refund?”

Customer: “Oh, sure! Because I just love driving all over town! My husband and I are coming in and sitting down to eat!”

(She hangs up. When she comes in, I decide to put her in my section so my coworker doesn’t have to deal with her anger. She immediately starts yelling and answers everything I say sarcastically while her husband watches on. I go to get her drinks and when I come back she looks embarrassed.)

Customer: “I would like to apologize. My husband asked me if you were the one that had helped me before and when I said no he asked ‘well, what are you yelling at the girl for?’ I’m sorry.”

(I was shocked. I told her not to worry, got her food out, was very attentive, and they left an excellent tip. I guess it goes to show that we all have bad days.)

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A Pulled-Teeth Burger

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Right | January 7, 2015

(I’m a cook at a diner with an open kitchen, but because we work with a skeleton crew, I often step onto the floor to help take orders. Today I stepped in to take an order for a man who came in alone.)

Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

(The customer doesn’t respond, and continues staring at the menu. After a few seconds, I continue.)

Me: “Can I start you off with anything to drink today?”

Customer: “Burger with fried onions and French fries!”

Me: “And would you like anything to drink with that?”

(The customer looks at me like I’m an idiot.)

Customer: “Of course! A [Soda]!”

(I proceed to enter and cook his order. After finishing his meal, the customer calls me over again.)

Customer: “I’d like you to start that burger for my wife!”

(No one had mentioned any burger to me, or the server.)

Me: “Ummm, sure! What would she like on it?”

(Customer stares at me again like I’m an idiot.)

Customer: “You figure it out! You’re the d*** cook!”

(It took me a few moments to comprehend what had just occurred. I was somehow, in my infinite capacity as a diner cook, to know what someone whom I’ve never met before wanted on their burger, and that I was at fault for not being able to do so. Utterly bewildered, I went back to the kitchen and called the server over.)

Me: “Listen, I have no idea what’s going on, but the guy at B4 just placed a burger order for his wife, but won’t tell me what to put on it. Can you please find out?”

(The server comes back almost ten minutes later, during which I had to take the remaining customers orders while cooking.)

Server: “That was like pulling f****** teeth! Apparently she wants fried onions and mushrooms on it, no cheese.”

Me: “What side?”

(Server gets a look of horror on her face and looks over at the customer. She had forgotten to ask.)

Server: “She wants fries. Give her fries.”

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The Brain Freeze Will Make No Difference

| Calgary, AB, USA | Right | January 7, 2015

(So I work at a college as a coffee server. I really wonder how some people made it this far. I am prepping a customers order. She turns to her friend.)

Customer: “Do you want your double-double?”

Friend: “No, thanks, I’m going to get an iced cappuccino.”

Customer: “It’s below 10 out.”

Friend: “Yeah, but I gave up caffeine for Lent, so I’m going to have an iced cap.”

Customer: “You know there caffeine in that, right?”

Friend: “Yes, in a HOT cappuccino. When you freeze it you kill the caffeine, so therefore it’s caffeine free. The sugar will keep me awake.”

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