Doesn’t Know Wheat You Mean, Part 2

| Italy | Working | June 20, 2016

(It’s about eight years ago and I am celiac, which is almost unheard of. There are few foods that never have gluten, and many that may have it, so I never bother to ask when I eat in restaurants and just assume I can’t eat it. I have just finished a steak with a salad.)

Dad: “Are you sure you don’t want any dessert? The Ice-cream should be gluten free, and also the meringue cake.”

Me: “It’s too cold for the ice-cream, and the meringue may get contaminated in the kitchen. I’m fine.”

Dad: “Nonsense! I’ll just ask a waiter if the cake is gluten-free.” *he calls a waiter* “Excuse me, do you know if the meringue contains any gluten?”

Waiter: *without missing a beat* “I don’t know, sir, but I can ask the kitchen if they can add it for you.”

Dad: *struggling to keep a straight face* “Uh, thanks.”

(The poor overworked waiter heard an ingredient that he didn’t know and offered to add it just for us! Now every time I ask if something is gluten-free my father offers to add it for me.)


The Dirty Dozen

, | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Working | June 20, 2016

(I don’t usually like take away but this particular day I felt an unusual craving for chicken nuggets.)

Me: “Hi, I’m just wondering what quantities the nuggets come in?”

Cashier: “Umm, 3,6,9,12, or 18?”

Me: “Oh, can I please have half a dozen nuggets please?”

Cashier: “Oh, we don’t do half a dozen only 3,6,12, and 18 packs.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll have six, please.”

Cashier: “Sure, that’ll be [price]. Sorry, we’re not allowed to change the pack sizes.”

Me: “Um, that’s okay…”

(I walked away with my “six nuggets” with three free ones.)

Drives Through All Your Patience

| OH, USA | Right | June 17, 2016

(Working in a drive-thru has given me many great stories:)

Me: “Hello, Welcome to [Restaurant]. Would you like to try one of our new burgers?”

Customer: “Wait a minute! I am on the phone.”

Me: “Okay, just let me know when you are ready.”

Customer: “All right, I’m here at the drive-thru. What do you want?” *continuing to mumble into the phone*

(Several minutes later I don’t hear the customer talking anymore.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything on our menu?”

Customer: “I have been WAITING! How come it took you so long to do your job?!”

That’s Just How He Rolls

| Singapore | Friendly | June 14, 2016

(I overhear this conversation between two men at the next table. Man #1 is quite portly.)

Man #1: “My girlfriend doesn’t believe me when I said I used to have a six-pack.”

Man #2: “Oh, she met you when you only had a one-pack?”

Man #1: “Yeah. But it’s not a one-pack! It’s a three-pack!”

Man #2: “Three-pack?”

Man #1: “Three rolls of fat, rather like three-layer pork!”

Not… Done… Not Listening!

, | Jackson, CA, USA | Working | June 14, 2016

(I decide to go through the drive-thru of one of the local fast food restaurants. I used to work at this location, so I place my order as easily as possible, so the employee doesn’t have to ask 100 questions.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like a medium #4, with three egg rolls instead of the fries, and a Dr. Pepper with light ice, please.”

Employee: “Okay, that’s a #4 with onion rings and a small Diet Coke?”

(As she says this, the items start appearing on the order screen.)

Me: “Um, no. I’d like it with three egg rolls and a medium Dr. Pepper.”

(I see the onion rings disappear from the ordering screen, but the Diet Coke stays up there.)

Employee: “Okay, if your order looks correct, it’ll be—”

Me: “My order isn’t correct. I’d like a medium Dr. Pepper with light ice, not a small Diet Coke.”

(She finally rings up the correct drink.)

Employee: “Does your order look correct now?”

Me: “Yes, but I’m not done ordering. Can I get—”

Employee: “Your total will be—”

Me: *losing patience* “I’M. NOT. DONE. ORDERING. YET.”

(Silence from her while I gather my composure.)

Me: “Can I get two tacos with no taco sauce, please?”

Employee: *sigh* “Will that complete your order?”

Me: “Yes.”

Employee: “Your total will be [total] at the window.”

(The funniest part was that the person working the drive-thru was the manager! I was polite my entire time at the window, but she all but threw my change and food at me before mumbling a thank you and slamming the window shut. My fiancée, who was in the car with me, couldn’t stop laughing the entire time.)

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