Dry Goods

| Devon, England, UK | Working | July 6, 2015

(My family are eating a meal at restaurant known for its delicious desserts. Ours were okay, but nothing special.)

Waitress: “Was everything okay with your meal?”

My Dad: “Well, the desserts were a little dry.”

Waitress: “Oh, good!”

(This has since become a family responds to anyone with a little problem.)

Very Light On The Differences

| TX, USA | Working | July 5, 2015

(My dad and I are driving home for twelve hours after a vacation. We are both hungry and decide to stop at what we think is a genuine Mexican taqueria, but ends up being a fast food Tex-Mex chain.)

Cashier:“Welcome to [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Dad: “Well… what’s the difference between the deluxe burrito and the light burrito?

Cashier: “Well, the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. The light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad: “…Yeah, okay, but what’s the difference?”

Cashier: “Well, the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. The light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad: “So are they wrapped up in different types of tortillas or something?”

Cashier: “The deluxe burrito is wrapped up in a soft flour tortilla. The light burrito is in a soft flour tortilla.”

Dad: “So… They’re the exact same thing?”

Cashier: “Oh, no no no no no. They’re totally different,”

Dad: “Okay, so how are they different?”

Cashier: “Well, the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. The light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad: “You just listed them as having the exact same ingredients. Are they different sizes or proportions or something?”

Cashier: “No… They’re the exact same…”

Dad: “So they are the exact same?”

Cashier: “No, they’re completely different. Do you think we’re stupid? If they were the same they wouldn’t be on the menu twice!”

Dad:“So they’re totally different?”

Cashier: “Yes!”

Dad: “Can you please explain to me how they are different?”

Cashier: “Well, the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. The light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad: “You just listed all of the same ingredients twice.”

Cashier: “No. I didn’t. I said the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. Then I said the light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad:“…:

Cashier: “…”

Dad: “Can I speak to your manager?”

Cashier: “No.”

Dad: “Why not?”

Cashier: “No.”

(We left at this point. The conversation had gone on for more than five minutes. We ended up eating at the place across the street, which was much cleaner and nicer. The staff could also explain the differences between all of the burritos on their menu.)

An Un-Fairer Observation

| AB, Canada | Working | July 4, 2015

Manager: “We have a mystery shopper! Clean the women’s washroom. Then also sweep. The mystery shopper is outside in her car.”

Me: “I’m on it.”

(I do as I am told. The manager comes over to check up.)

Manager: “The shopper is outside. She’s a lady.”

Me: “Okay. I’ll keep an eye out for her.”

Manager: “She’s a lady. Understand?”

Me: “Yes.”

(I didn’t know if that meant something else to her, but I only heard “She’s female.” I never saw the lone female that could have be the mystery shopper.)

A Capital Reason To Travel

| Canada | Related | July 3, 2015

(My sisters and I do a lot of traveling, mostly for vacation but sometimes for work as well. We used to have a race going on between the four of us to see who would reach Russia first. My second eldest sister ended up going to Sochi for the Olympics last year, but since we’re rarely all in the same area we hadn’t had a chance to discuss it.)

Sister #1: “I don’t think it should count.”

Sister #2: “Why not? I made it to Russia; race OVER.”

Me: “I think countries should only count if you actually spent more than one night in the capital. Otherwise, you technically can count countries you’ve had a lay-over in – even if you didn’t leave the airport.”

(We then begin counting all the countries we’ve ‘actually’ been to.)

Sister #1: “I’ve got at least twenty.”

(She’s an aide worker and travels to many different countries in the world for work.)

Sister #2: “I’ve got eight, then.”

Me: “Five.”

(My third sister is counting to herself and then lets out a loud groan. If we don’t include all the countries my eldest sister traveled to for work, my third sister has done the most traveling.)

Sister #3: “I’ve only been to Canada!” *pouts and then crosses arms* “I don’t like this rule.”

Receipted More Than Intended

| CA, USA | Friendly | July 2, 2015

(My friend and I are both women in our mid-twenties. We just finished our meal and go up to pay. The cashier is a man around our age.)

Cashier: “Here’s your copy of the receipt.”

Friend: “Thanks!” *she then turns to me* “Here ya go!”

(She stuffs the receipt down into my bra. This is par for the course for me so I don’t bat an eye.)

Cashier: *blinking* “Okay, then…”

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