A-Salted The Whole Restaurant

| Des Moines, IA, USA | Working | March 1, 2016

(My dad and I head over to a popular sandwich restaurant. We order our meal and we get our drinks. Everything seems normal until…)

Me: “And that’s when—” *takes sip of sweet tea*

Dad: “…and that’s when…? What?”

Me: *starts to cough* “Would you mind trying this tea real quick?”

Dad: “Why?”

Me: “Just do it.”

Dad: “Fine” *he takes a sip he gets a disgusted look on his face*

Me: “I’m pretty sure they mistook the sugar for salt.”

Dad: “Wow, that is strong! I have never seen someone mix tea and salt before!”

(The waitress comes over.)

Waitress: “How is your meal?”

Dad: “So, uh… they might have mixed up the sugar with salt for the tea.”

Waitress: “Really!? Let me try.” *she leaves and comes back with a glass of tea, and she takes a sip* “I guess they did! Let me get the manager.”

(She leaves and comes back with the manager.)

Manager: “So what’s the problem here?”

Dad: “The tea has salt in it instead of sugar.”

Manager: *laughs* “I’m going to go try it!”

(He comes back with ANOTHER cup to try.)

Manager: *takes a sip* “I can’t believe it! That is pretty funny. I guess we will have to make a new batch.”

(For a second I thought the whole restaurant was going to try to taste it.)

Makes You Want To Hit The Bottle

| Finland | Right | February 27, 2016

(I end up having this same conversation way too often with customers who order a bottle of wine, especially if they order it at the bar-counter.)

Me: “Hi, what will you be having?”

Customer: “A bottle of [Wine].”

Me: “All right, and how many glasses do you need for that?”

Customer: “No, I want a WHOLE bottle of [Wine].”

Me: “Yes, I get that, but how many glasses do you need.”

Customer: “Not by the glass, a bottle!”

Me: *a bit fed up* “Okay, so, do you intend to drink it straight from the bottle or maybe I should just pop in a couple of straws?”

(It then dawns upon the customer why we have been going in circles for a while.)

Customer: “Oh… Uh, [amount] of glasses.”

1 Thumbs

Criminals Shouldn’t Like It Too Hot

, | Houston, TX, USA | Right | February 27, 2016

(I work at a very popular donut shop and work alone to close at 10 pm. It is 9:55 pm Sunday night and I have had a very crabby day. The floor is freshly mopped with wet floor sign out, half the lights are out, the back of the restaurant is dark, all the leftover donuts moved to a rolling rack. Obvious to anyone with two brain cells to rub together that the store is getting ready to close.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: *looks around for a good 2 minutes* “Yeah, ugh, can I get some HOT glazed donuts?”

(I proceed to reach for the glazed donuts on the rack.)

Customer: “No! I said the hot ones!”

Me: “Sir, it is closing time and we will not have any more made until 6:00 am. If you like there is a microwave behind you to wa—”

Customer: “No, you stupid b****! Get your lazy a** back there and make me my donuts!”

(I flip the switch to turn the lights on in the kitchen behind me.)

Me: “You see all that equipment back there? The industrial sized mixers, donut cutters the size of the interior of a Buick, and conveyor belt oven and glazer that takes up half the kitchen? You really think I am going to go back there and turn all that on to make you two hot glazed donuts?!”

Customer: “Yeah, b****! You want me to come over that counter and MAKE you?!”

Me: “I’m sorry; store is closed. I need you to leave so I can lock the doors.”

(What the customer didn’t know is during his threatening rant, the officer that came most nights for his night shift, usually earlier but was late that night, heard the whole exchange. Right before he crawled over the counter the officer grabbed him. Guy ended up having priors for assault and had a warrant for his arrest.)

1 Thumbs

Refunds Of The Corn

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Working | February 26, 2016

(We had had a slow but polite problem with a drive-thru fish place a few weeks before. They handled it all so well we were more than willing to return the next time we were in the mood for fish. We make our order which includes shrimp, but no corn as we are told they are out. We ask for beans instead. We drive to the window, pay and wait. And wait. And wait!)

Friend: *after 11 minutes* “Y’know, they’ve been a long time.”

(The manager comes to the window. It’s the same woman who had been so polite the time before.)

Manager: “We are out of shrimp. Would you like something else or will popcorn shrimp do?”

Me: “Popcorn shrimp is fine.”

(More waiting. And waiting. After five more minutes, the manager comes back to the window.)

Manager: “I was just told that we are out of corn.”

Me: “We didn’t order corn.”

Manager: “Who took your order?”

Me: “I’ll just take a refund.”

Manager: “Who took your order?”

Me: “You took my order!”

Manager: “Well, we’re right at shift change and swamped.”

Me: “I’ll take that refund now.”

Manager: “We’re out of corn.

Me: “We were told that when we ordered. We did not order corn.”

Manager: “Who took your order?”

Me: “For the love of Mike! Just give me back my money!”

Putting You Into A Bit Of A Pickle

| Ypsilanti, MI, USA | Working | February 23, 2016

(I’m in the walk-in with the host and server who are struggling to find the desserts, thus getting in my way.)

Me: *putting on one glove* “Guys, I need a pickle.”

Server: “Hold on…”

Me: “Could someone just give me a pickle…”


Me: “Put a pickle in my gloved hand!”

Host: “This is starting to get X-rated. I’m out.”

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