Totally Out Of Order

, | Toronto, ON, Canada | Working | February 4, 2015

Me: “Hi, could I please have a [breakfast sandwich] on a sesame seed bagel, with a cinnamon roll and a [Cola], please?”

Cashier: *rings everything in properly* “That will be [total], please.”

(I pay, and she starts getting my order ready. She comes back after a moment.)

Cashier: “Sorry, we’re all out of [donut I didn’t order]. Would you like something else instead?”

Me: *slightly confused* “Um… no problem. Can I have a cinnamon bun?”

(She gets the cinnamon bun for me and goes to get my drink. Again, she comes back empty handed.)

Cashier: “I’m so sorry to do this again, but we’re out of [drink I didn’t order] as well.”

Me: “Can I get a [Cola], please?”

(She brings my drink back, just as the person making my sandwich steps up.)

Sandwich Person: “Sorry, but we’re out of [bagel I didn’t order]…”

Drive Straight Thru His Lie

| Metairie, LA, USA | Right | February 3, 2015

(I work at a restaurant that is always closed on Sundays. Like, it has been every single week since the 1940s when it opened. One Sunday afternoon our restaurant owner is in the parking lot doing some work on our flower beds and someone drives up to the drive-thru speaker:)

Customer: “Hello? HELLOOOOOOO! ANSWER ME! Son of a b****! This is OUTRAGEOUS!”

(The restaurant owner calmly walks over to the customer in the car, and says:)

Owner: “Hello, sir, is everything all right?”

Customer: “NO! I JUST came through the drive-thru and paid over $30 for my meals, and I got ALL THE WAY HOME and realized that they left out my number one meal! I DEMAND that you give me my meal for free AND refund my whole order because my family is waiting on me at home and ALL OF OUR FOOD IS GOING TO BE COLD! I will not pay for this!”

(The store owner, who loves to catch people in a lie, just kept asking more questions.)

Owner: “So you’re telling me you were JUST here?”

Customer: “Yes! And I got all the way home and YOU left my meal out of the bag!”

Owner: “I see. Do you have your receipt? Or your bag with your food? I’d be happy to replace all of your meals for you if you have the receipt.”

Customer: “NO! I left them at home with my other food! Can you get them to hurry up? I need to get back home because my family is waiting on me!”

Owner: “So you’re sure you were JUST here? At THIS restaurant?”

Customer: “YES! God, what is wrong with you people?! I was here like 15 minutes ago, in THIS drive-thru!”

Owner: “Well, sir, I just wanted to let you know I know for a fact that you weren’t here 15 minutes ago getting food.”

Customer: “…what?”

Owner: “See, I’m the owner of this restaurant, and we’ve been closed every single Sunday since we opened. There is no one inside right now, and there hasn’t been anyone inside all day. So there’s no way you got your food here 15 minutes ago, I have your vehicle on our parking lot surveillance, and I want to kindly ask you never to come back to my establishment again!”

(The guy then sped out of the parking lot!)

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Small Minds Can’t Do Small Print

, | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | February 2, 2015

(I work for a big fast food company and occasionally we have coupons for which no one bothers to read the fine print, which says to let the order taker know of the coupon prior to ordering.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, can I get this meal?”

(Because I have worked for so long and know most of the prices I don’t always punch the orders in right away which comes in handy when the people don’t tell me about the coupon beforehand.)

Me: “Okay your total is [total]. Please drive ahead.”

Customer: “But I have a coupon!”

Me: “Sure. In the future please let me know before your order.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(Customer drives off and pulls up to my window.)

Me: “Okay your new total is [total]; may I have the coupon, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have it.”

Me: “I’m sorry but I cannot give you a discount without the coupon.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Well, my management requires me to collect the coupons.”

Customer: “But I can print them online as much as I want!”

Me: “True. However I do need to collect the coupon to give you the discount.”

Customer: “This is bull-s**t! I don’t understand why I can’t get the d*** discount!”

(I try to explain it the concept in the simplest terms I can think of.)

Me: “Think about it this way: Can you get into a concert without the ticket?”

Customer: “I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT ANYTHING! I’M NOT SOME DUMB TEENAGER LIKE YOU DOING SOME S*** MINIMUM WAGE JOB!”

(Clearly natural selection has stopped since people like this are still around…)

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Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 5

, | ON, Canada | Working | February 1, 2015

(My friend and I are babysitting our friend’s five-year-old son so that she can attend a Christmas party for her work. We decide, since he is behaving well, to order pizza for dinner while we watch his ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’ movies. I call and am placing the order:)

Friend’s Son: “Can I tell the lady what I would like on my pizza?”

Me: “Sure. Speak clearly and use your manners.”

Friend’s Son: “Okay!” *into the phone* “Pepperoni on my pizza, please!”

(I take the phone back and he runs to play with his trains.)

Me: “Okay, on the second pizza I would like…” *I prattle off a list of vegetables, as I am a vegetarian and my friend loves veggie pizza anyway*

Worker: “Anything else?”

Me: “Yeah, are there any veggies I forgot?”

Worker: *silent for almost a minute* “Umm… ham? I don’t know my vegetables.”

Me: *speechless*

Worker: “So, ham?”

Me: “No, thanks. Uh, that’s all.”

(I hang up the phone and tell my friend what happened, to which he laughs and is simultaneously shocked and amused.)

Me: “Let me test something.” *calls five-year-old over* “Honey, is ham a meat or a vegetable?”

Friend’s Son: *confused* “It is a meat! Why?”

Me: “The pizza lady thought it was a vegetable.”

Friend’s Son: *digging in his toy drawer for more train tracks* “Maybe she should go back to kindergarten.”

Related:
Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 4
Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 3
Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 2

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Not Promoting Decent Behavior

, | TN, USA | Right | January 31, 2015

(I am working the front at a fast food restaurant. I am ringing up two ladies (mother and daughter) up. They are regulars.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Daughter: “Hi, I have this coupon: buy one get one free breakfast sandwiches.”

Me: “All right, which sandwiches would you like?”

(They order two sandwiches, one more expensive than the other. I promo the more expensive one off.)

Daughter: *to mother* “Haha, she only charged us $1.69!”

Mother: *mockingly* “Smart employees!” *snorts*

Me: “I did it to be nice, but I’m definitely not doing it for you again.”

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