She Has Weighty Reasons To Want That Table

My manager is taking reservations for graduation weekend, one of the busiest times for restaurants in my town. She gets this call from a woman who wants to make a change to her reservation.

Caller: “I already made a reservation for grad week for five people, but I was wondering if we could reserve a bigger table, like for six people.”

Manager: “Are you adding another guest to your reservation?”

Caller: “No, it’s still five people; we just need a larger table.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but we are completely booked for that weekend and we need the larger tables for the larger parties.”

Caller: *Sighs* “It’s just… my husband… he’s just so fat.”

Manager: *A bit taken aback* “Oh, well, umm… perhaps we could find a smaller table to add to yours, but I can’t promise anything, since the seating plan will already be a bit tight. I’ll see what we can do.”

Caller: “Okay, I guess that’ll work. He’s… just so fat.”

Manager: “Okay, well, is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “No, that’s all. Thank you.” *Mumbling to herself* “…just so fat.”