I work for a law firm. I do intake for new cases, both existing clients and potential clients. An existing client calls.

Client: “So, we fired a guy we just hired. He lied on his application, so we fired him his first day, after about six hours. I just want to make sure we’re covered because he said he’s going to sue.”

Me: “Okay. I need a bit more information. First off, what was the job?”

Client: “[Specific job title]. He was hired because he claimed to be bilingual. When he started yesterday, he said he actually speaks six languages. Everything was fine until he took his first phone call.”

Me: “What happened?”

Client: “He couldn’t understand the person. He claimed to be bilingual and then said he spoke six languages, but he doesn’t understand Spanish.”

Me: “Okay. Did you ever ask him if he could speak Spanish during the interviews or application?”

Client: “No. It said we needed a bilingual person. He said he was.”

Me: “I don’t think I’m understanding. You ran an ad for a ‘bilingual employee’ and did not specify what the second language would be?”

Client: “It said bilingual. That means English and Spanish. Then, he claims he speaks six languages: English, French, German, and some other things. I don’t actually remember. But none of them were Spanish. We said bilingual!”

Me: “Um, I’m not trying to be rude here, but bilingual literally means that they speak two languages. It does not mean English and Spanish.”

Client: “Of course it does!”

Me: “Whether or not you are covered in case he sues is something I will leave to your attorney. But before she calls you back, you should probably look up the word ‘bilingual’. It does not mean what you think it means.”

Client: “That’s why you aren’t the attorney! Everyone knows that means English and Spanish!”

The client was very upset when his attorney explained that, in fact, bilingual is a word with a defined meaning and that meaning does not specify what two languages a person speaks. She went on to further explain that, in our area, Spanish is not the most common second language and that the ad should have specified Spanish. We’re still not certain the client understands.

Related:
Totally Estúpido! Part 27
Totally Estúpido! Part 26
Totally Estúpido! Part 25
Totally Estúpido! Part 24

I was in a well-known big box store just needing to use an ATM to get out some money. It was situated just at the side of customer service and returns, so I witnessed this as I walked up.

A lady and a man were walking toward me, and the lady looked angry. Her cart was empty except for a medium-sized (about a sixth of the cart space) square-ish box that looked very hastily repacked. I vaguely saw a picture of a brightly colored blowup bounce house for kids.

Lady: “Well, of course I opened it! How else was I supposed to know it didn’t come with the air to blow it up?!” 

I feel sorry for the person in customer service who had to turn her away and try and explain that one to her.

This is a story that I have been told over and over, and my mom loves to tease me about it. 

I grew up in a very rural town in Ohio. There was not a lot of racial diversity, and if there were any people who weren’t Caucasian, they were Hispanic. There were no African Americans in town at all.

I was about three years old when we had a missionary from Nigeria visit our church. This man had incredibly dark skin. He was wearing traditional robes that happened to be white. and he was standing at the doors of the sanctuary welcoming people into service. My mom was nervous because kids say stupid stuff and I had never seen anyone with dark skin before.

When my mom and I got up close, I froze, staring up at him.  

Me: *Transfixed* “Mommy? Is the white man an angel?” 

The missionary started laughing so hard that he almost cried. 

Missionary: “Ma’am, I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, including an angel. But your little girl is the first person to ever call me a white man!”

And that is how I called the very first person with dark skin I had ever met… white.

I was a pharmacy student, doing an internship in a call center for a mail-order pharmacy. On this particular day, I was paired with a female pharmacist, and she was taking patient calls while I listened in.

Pharmacist: *Gives her greeting.*

Elderly Male Caller: “I want to talk to a gentleman pharmacist.”

Pharmacist: “I assure you, sir, I am a fully qualified pharmacist and can help you with whatever issue you’re having.”

Elderly Male Caller: “No, I want to speak to a gentleman pharmacist.”

Finally, she gave up and got a male colleague to call him back. When he finished.

Male Pharmacist: “Oh my. He was embarrassed and had some questions about an erectile dysfunction medication.”

I recently started a new job after quitting my old job. One of the things that caused me to quit my old job was that my supervisor actually grabbed me and shoved me out of the way after putting me on the registers after only four hours of training. I told the manager exactly what happened, and she actually said she couldn’t do anything about it. I reported her to her boss and then handed in my two weeks’ notice.

Now, I’m working at a grocery store, and once again, I’ve been put on the registers with barely any training, which was done by an unprepared girl who was quitting that day.

It’s worth noting that I also have anxiety and am on the autism spectrum. I think some employers think that people on the spectrum don’t know their rights, which is unfortunately true in some cases, especially when it was less understood twenty years ago.

I’m working my way through a long line of customers and keep having to ask my shift lead for a manager code or help with pricing. I’ve also asked for help repeatedly but only got lip.

Finally, my shift lead comes up to my register, pushes me out of the way without a word, and takes over.

Furious, I tear off my nametag and storm into the manager’s office.

Me: “I can’t work like this!”

Manager: “Whoa! What happened?”

Still fuming, I tell her exactly what happened, and her eyes get narrower and narrower. Then, I tell her that I was also basically assaulted at my last job, and I tell her about my lack of training.

She actually stands up and calls for the human resources manager, and they follow me to the register where the shift lead is still checking customers out.

Shift Lead: *To me* “Finally! Where have you been? You won’t last long with that attitude!”

Manager: “Actually, it’s you who won’t last long! You’re telling me you sent her on the register after less than a day of training?! You’re the front-end supervisor! Come into my office. I’m sorry, ladies and gentlemen. I’ll get someone else to check you out. [Coworker], if you’re on the clock, can you help these people out? I’ll get someone to help with your usual duties so you’re not behind.”

I go to the break room to calm down, and I can hear the store manager berating the shift lead for her behavior and attitude from where I sit.

The shift lead comes out in tears, and the store manager asks me to come into her office.

Manager: “I’m sorry for how [Shift Lead] treated you. You won’t have to worry about her anymore. Assault of any kind is not tolerated here. You can take today and tomorrow off to calm down, and then I’ll go over your schedule with you and [Assistant Manager] next week. And I promise you’ll get proper training. By the way, did you ever report the girl at your last job who assaulted you? [Human Resources Manager] can help with that; she works with the Labor Department.”

So, not only did my bad temper get my new shift lead fired, but I wound up getting two people at my last job suspended.