Would’ve Been Quicker To Find It Yourself

, , , | Right | March 4, 2021

In a few departments of our store, there’s a button that customers can press if there are no employees present. It essentially pages an employee to that department over our walkies. I’m ringing out a customer in my department, two feet from the button and clearly visible. Another customer comes up and presses the button.

Me: “Sir, I can help you here in a minute.”

Customer: “Uh-huh.”

I continue helping my current customer. The new customer presses the button again.

Me: “Sir, I will help you in just a minute.”

Customer: “All right.”

He presses the button a third time. The message over the walkie is now saying that urgent help is needed. I move the button off the counter, out of his reach.

Customer: “I need help, though!”

Me: “Sir, I’ve already let you know that I can help you after I finish this transaction. Pressing the button won’t get you help any faster.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

I finally finish with my first customer and go to help the needy one.

Me: “How can I help?”

Customer: “Where’s your bathroom?”

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There’s No Disputing Their Stupidity

, , , , | Right | February 22, 2021

I work the customer support line for a bank.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How may I assist you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I just wanted to dispute this charge on my account that I don’t recognize.”

That’s not unusual; tons of people call in for this reason.

Me: “Not a problem. May I have the amount and the description?”

Customer: “It’s for [amount] and it’s called, ‘NSF CHARGE,’ and I didn’t make that.”

Oh, God, here we go.

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that is an insufficient funds fee, which you incurred because you did not have the funds available to pay for a transaction on [Website] yesterday.”

Customer: “I don’t get it. I didn’t make that charge.”

Me: “You didn’t make the charge on [Website]?”

Customer: “No, I did, but I didn’t make that… NFS or whatever it’s called.”

Me: *Pause* “It’s a fee that you received because you couldn’t pay that item.”

Customer: “But my account isn’t supposed to overdraft!”

Me: “Right. And it didn’t, which is why you received the fee.”

Customer: “I’ve never gotten this charge before.”

Me: “Correct; this is your first insufficient funds fee because you’ve always had the funds to pay for your purchases in the past.”

Customer: “But I’ve never had one. When did you guys start doing that?”

Me: “We’ve always charged this fee.”

The customer laughs, and then says condescendingly:

Customer: “No, no, no. No, you haven’t.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure we have. Every bank has this fee.”

Customer: “Can you refund it?”

Me: “Unfortunately, because it is a legitimate charge that caused the fee, we cannot refund it.”

Customer: “But I’ve never had one before.”

Me: *Pauses* “And that’s because you’ve always had the available funds to cover any purchases.”

Customer: “Soooooo, is that a no?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we can not refund it.”

Customer: “You have been no help.” *Click*

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Snow Reason To Stay Open

, , , , , , | Right | February 18, 2021

It’s the first snowfall of the year, but it’s one of those nights where it starts as rain at 5:00 and then by 9:00 turns into snow. At 8:55, all the customers have left the store, and since we close at 9:00, my manager closes the doors, only to have this interaction happen at 8:59.

Customer: *Pounds on the door* “It’s 8:59! You have to let me in!”

Me: *Looking confused* “Well, we already closed up. Are you sure it’s not 9:00?”

Customer: “Yes, look at your phone!”

Sure, enough my phone says 8:59.

Me: “Well, I really want to get home as soon as possible given the conditions of the road.”

Customer: “I really want you to get home safe, too… but it’s 8:59 so you have to let me in.”

I turn to my manager, who’s out of the viewing distance of the customer and looks extremely confused. We exchange glances for ten seconds.  

Me: *Pulls out my phone* “Oh, no! Look, it’s 9:00 now. Sorry, we’re closed.”

Customer: “It was 8:59 when I got here! This is terrible!”

The customer walked away.

Seriously, we’re open for twelve hours and she just decided she needed crafting supplies at 8:59? No crafting emergency is that serious! Luckily, my manager agreed.

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Not All Customers Are Equal

, , , | Right | February 15, 2021

I am working in a shop that sells sewing machines inside of a large store. I am taking in a customer’s machine for service. We’re talking while I type her information into the computer. It’s nothing new to get asked for help within the larger store as my shop is right in the middle; however, I draw the line at neglecting my customers.

As I’m working with this (very lovely) customer, I can see an older man out of the corner of my eye. I ignore him and carry on with my customer. I can hear him getting huffy as the work order takes a few minutes and I am not giving him my attention. He finally taps me on the shoulder.

Old Man: “I want to know where the stick-on letters are.”

Me: “Sir, I am in the middle of something; please excuse me.”

I turn back to my customer as he storms off. 

Several minutes later, I finish with my customer and sit down at my computer. The old man walks by me.

Old Man: “When a customer who is going to buy something that pays your salary asks you a question, you answer it. That’s good customer service.”

I don’t have a chance to respond that he was interrupting my customer and that I wouldn’t have been able to answer his question anyway. I am later relaying this incident to the manager of the larger store.

Manager: “You know what I say to those people? ‘Good customers get good customer service.’”

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Gambling With Your Health

, , , , , | Right | February 6, 2021

I’m standing in line at a gas station waiting to check out, and the cashiers ask each customer if they’re buying a lottery ticket, as only one of the registers is equipped for that. The man in front of me is asked if he is buying a lottery ticket:

Customer: “No, thanks. That stuff is way too dangerous to get into. Could I have a pack of smokes?”

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