Has Some Baggage About The Self-Checkouts

, , , , | Right | January 1, 2020

(I overhear this at the self-checkout.)

Machine: “Scan your item and place it in the bag.”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Machine: “Place your item in the bag.”

Customer: “Oh, shut up!

Machine: “Please remember to take your bags.”

Customer: “You are such a f****** nag!”

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Behind The Blanket Apologies

, , , | Right | January 1, 2020

(I am on a road trip with some friends and we stop for fast food at a place that brings the food to your car. We wait for twenty minutes to get our food and realize we didn’t receive one order. We call back in and let them know, and they say they’ll remake it. Another fifteen minutes later, I ask where the food is, and they say they weren’t told about missing food. I am furious and angrily demand our food. Finally, after another ten minutes, we receive the food and go on our way. An hour later, I realize something.)

Me: “Guys… is now a bad time to tell you I found the other sandwich?”

Friend: “Are you kidding me?! We waited an extra half an hour and you got mad at a worker all because you lost your stupid sandwich?!”

Me: “He placed it behind the blanket! I didn’t see it! And he didn’t even say anything when he came back with the new food. I’m sure he could see it from where he was standing!”

Friend: “I don’t care! You should have asked instead of assuming they didn’t give it to you! You were the wrong one here, so do something about it.”

(I ended up calling the store to tell them what had happened and apologize. They laughed and said they were just happy I’d called, so they didn’t ask for me to pay for the extra sandwich. I’d never done anything like that before or since, so I was super embarrassed and still am. But I thought my stupidity belonged on this site.)

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Too Late To Save His Bacon  

, , , , | Right | December 29, 2019

(A friend and fellow server have the honor of assisting a thirteen-year-old with his first taste of bacon.)

Guest: *slowly nibbles on a piece of bacon from his sandwich, his eyes grow wide* “I need two more orders of this. Now.”

Friend #1: *to the server* “He can’t have bacon! He’s Muslim…”

Friend #2: “You’re going to Hell, bro.”

Guest: “Too late. May as well go there happy.”

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A Real Browser Wowser

, , , , , | Right | December 27, 2019

(I work in a library.)

Customer: “Can you help me send an email through my IM?”

(“Here we go,” I think.)

Me:  “Let me take a look at your screen.”

(The customer has Yahoo IM up.)

Me: “You can’t send an email through an IM; you can do instant messaging and chat back and forth instantaneously on IM. Do you have an email address through the yahoo website?”

Customer: “I think so. I don’t know. I just want to send an email through my IM!”

Me: “Well, let’s open up a web browser and take a look. If you want to send a detailed message, an email through an email client is the best option.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “You can choose the icon that looks like an E, the swirling fox, or the colorful circle.”

(The customer clicks on Internet Explorer.)

Me: “Oh, you’ll need to double-click.”

Customer: “Double-click?”

(How did he open the IM?)

Me: “Oh, yes, you have to click twice, very quickly.”

(The customer gets it open after a couple of tries. To speed things along, I start pointing to where he needs to click.)

Me: “Okay, now you need to type in your username.”

Customer: “I think it’s [First Name][Last Name]@yahoo-dot-com.

Me: “Are you sure your password is right?”

Customer: “Yes. Maybe that’s not my name?”

(I hope he means username.)

Me: “Okay, a trick I like to try is to use nicknames, periods and underscores to figure out if your username is a different combination. People have so many usernames these days it’s hard to keep them apart.”

(We try several combinations. The customer starts to squirm.)

Me: “Let’s try to retrieve your username from Yahoo. What’s your alternate email address?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have another email address. Hey, maybe it’s with Google! I had a Google email a while ago.”

(So, we try accessing a Google account with various combinations of his name. Nothing works.)

Me: “I think your best option is to create a new email address and write it down right away.”

Customer: “I have to send my email! I am being hired at [Company] and I have to get into the email they sent me at the Yahoo address they set up for me.”

Me: “I see. The only thing you can do now is to call your employer or call Yahoo’s customer service. I’m sorry about that.”

(He wandered away with the number from Yahoo and I decided to avoid doing business with [Company].)

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That Totally Popped His Corn

, , , , | Right | December 23, 2019

(I work at a movie theater. It’s about 10:30 a few days before Christmas. We’re still open because the last showing is at 11:00, but it’s pretty dead because most people don’t want to get out of a movie at 1:00 am. We’re getting a head start on the closing list. Everything’s going fine and it looks like we’re going to get out early when my coworker who works in the kitchen radios. She’s absolutely livid.)

Coworker: “Some customer just dumped popcorn all over the counter because I told him the north side was closed and he had to go over the south side to be served.”

Other Coworker: *later* “He was older than me.”

(While this did not affect how long it took to get done, what the heck is wrong with people?)

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