Happy 40th Birthday!

, , | Right | June 26, 2019

(I am fairly new at my grocery store. I’m a very petite nineteen-year-old girl who often gets mistaken for being a minor. A customer giving off a weird vibe comes to my till.)

Customer: “Happy birthday! I think I saw you in the paper!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but no, it’s not my birthday. But thanks, anyway, I guess.”

(He stares at me for a second.)

Customer: “Are you sure? I’m pretty sure that was you. Here, I’ll show you.”

(The thing creeping me out the most is how sincere and serious he seems. He pulls out the paper and shows it to me. It’s a forty-year-old mother of four, and it is her birthday.)

Me: *getting very embarrassed and screaming on the inside* “Um, sorry, but that is definitely not me.”

(I’m always very chipper and welcoming at work, so he probably senses my change of mood and posture.)

Customer: “Huh, I was so sure… Two bags, please.”

(The rest of the transaction went quietly and he left. My manager laughed until she cried and now notifies me every time he comes in. I hate him.)

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Unfiltered Story #155093

, | Unfiltered | June 18, 2019

(I used to work in a grocery store which also had the possibility of cashing out/putting in money directly to your bank account. We had a regular old lady who used to come in with an expired card or no ID at all. Since I was not at all trained to do these transactions, I had to call the store manager:)

Me: “Hello, what can I do for you today?”

Old lady: “I want take out money from my bank account.”

Me: “Sure, that’s no problem. How much?”

Old lady: I’ll have [Amount of money]”
(She then proceeds to just hand me her card, expecting me to know her pin)

Me: “I’m sorry m’am, but I don’t know your pin. And this card is expired.”

Old lady: “Yes you do. I always use this card!”

(At this point, I actually recognizes her, and call for help, before gesturing to the other customers in line to change registers, as only one can be used for her kind of transaction.)

Me: “There will be someone with you very soon, m’am. It won’t be long.”

(I then move to the other register, just across the lane we are in, when she apparently loses her cool.)

Old lady: “Excuse me!? Where is he? I am waiting. Where the f**k is Frederik. Have you even called for help!?

(I’m just sitting there, reassuring here that help will be there soon, and that I cannot help her. This was a regular occurence, and I never remembered her between each time.)

The Workplace Of The Future

, , , , | Working | June 12, 2019

(This happens during the day on New Year’s Eve. My coworker and I are completely overwhelmed with work, non-stop calls, and our manager calling us every five minutes to tell us how to do our jobs. We take a quick break to go into the kitchen and get some food and water before getting back to the crazy rush. In the kitchen, we see that one of our bosses has hung up a sign:)

Sign: “Due to the most recent cutbacks, new rules for absences have been created for 2017.

Illness: Not a valid reason to be absent. Doctor’s notes are no longer accepted! If you can make it to the doctor, you can make it to work.

Absence due to surgery: Not accepted. Any employee who is considering surgery is to abstain from this. We need everything the employee can offer of flesh and blood. Service is to happen in the same condition as when the employment began. If anything is removed, the employee’s value is lowered. Exceptions can be made if paychecks are lowered to an equal value.

Death (your own): Your own death is accepted as a reason for absence. However, the employer is to be informed two weeks in advance so the successor can be trained properly.

Visits to the dentist: We only hire people with dentures. Due to this, you can send your teeth for repairs by mail, instead of constantly going to the dentist.

Pregnancy: Completely forbidden. At work, you should sit with your legs crossed. The employer is to make sure that contraceptives are available.

Visits to a gynecologist: Must be avoided! You can sit on a copy machine, take a picture, and send this to the gynecologist.

Toilet visits: Too much time is spent in the toilet. Due to this, a new three-minute rule will be enforced. After three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper is confiscated, the door is opened, and the toilet-goer is photographed. If this rule is broken several times, the photographs will be posted on the bulletin board.

Lunch: Thin people will get a thirty-minute lunch break, since they need to eat more to look healthy. Normal people will get a fifteen-minute lunch break, so they can intake a balanced meal and keep their mediocre figure. Overweight people will get a five-minute lunch break, since this is the amount of time needed to drink a protein shake.

Finally: Thank you for your loyalty to the unit. Our motto is to always have a positive attitude towards the business. It is, therefore, a matter of course that you send all your questions, comments, complaints, irritations, accusations, and other aggressions elsewhere.”

(My coworker and I laughed so hard that getting through the rest of the shift was quite a bit easier.)

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Strictly Credit

, , , | Right | June 7, 2019

(I work in a bookshop at an airport. This day, I opened the shop at 5:30 am so I am very tired. A customer comes in with her son. She’s old, and he’s probably in his thirties or forties. The customer is talking to her son as they enter and says she wants to use a credit note. She doesn’t have any books or anything to buy as she comes up to the register; all she does is put the credit note down on the counter. I look at it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, you can’t use this credit note. It expired 11 days ago and is for another bookshop.”

Customer: “What? Are you that strict?”

Me: “Well, seeing as it’s both expired and not for our shop, yes, I’m sorry, but you can’t use this here.”

(She picked the credit note up from the counter and stormed off with her son while grumbling.)

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Lack Of Efficiency Is Due To A Generational Knowledge Gap

, , , | Right | May 27, 2019

It’s a busy day at the post office, even with all three clerks working. I’m currently third in line waiting to mail a few packages. I am sat next to the second in line, a middle-aged lady who’s been complaining about the lack of efficiency.

She won’t shut up about how she “had to take a number and wait ten minutes just to buy a packet of envelopes, then step out of line, put her letters in the newly-purchased envelopes and write the addresses — three in total — take a new number, and wait another ten minutes to get the letters stamped, paid for, and sent. I mean, it’s ridiculous!” Just as she says that last part, a young woman walks into the post office. She’s probably in her early 20s, wearing a black dress and heeled boots, listening to music. The middle-aged woman immediately shifts her attention to the new arrival, and starts to complain about “today’s youth.”

The young woman does a quick scan of the room before taking a number. Then she walks over to one of the walls, plucks down a packet of windowed envelopes, carefully opens said packet and takes an envelope. She puts her letter in it, and inspects the front before sealing the envelope. Then she sits down, with her letter and the opened packet of envelopes in her lap, pulls a book out of her bag, and starts to read.

The middle-aged lady, having stuttered out a few confused noises while gesturing towards the young woman, is finally called to the counter and complains, mostly about the actions of the young woman — “I mean, she can’t do that! Just taking envelopes like that? That’s stealing!” — throughout the entire transaction, wasting another five minutes before leaving in a huff, glaring at the young woman.

The young woman is eventually called up to the clerk next to me. She takes out both earbuds — where most younger people, in my experience, would only remove one — hands the clerk the letter and the opened packet of envelopes, pays for both, smiles and thanks the clerk, and leaves with the rest of her envelopes. The whole transaction takes less than 30 seconds.

“Lack of efficiency,” indeed.

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