Can Recognise A Scam in Any Language

, , , , | Legal | February 20, 2019

(I work in a warehouse in Norway. I am doing my usual rounds when suddenly my cellphone rings. I notice on the caller ID that it is a very long number from a foreign country. I answer and, lo and behold, it’s a “your Microsoft Windows has a virus” scam. I am somewhat multilingual; I speak Icelandic and Norwegian, can scrape together Danish and Swedish, and have the bare basics in German. I also speak English, of course, but I decide the unlucky SOB has called the ONE person in Norway who doesn’t speak a word in it.)

Me: *automatically speaking in Norwegian* “Hallo, this is [My name]”

Caller: *very foreign accent but speaking English* “Hello. I’m calling from Microsoft because we have detected a virus on your computer.”

Me: *realizing what it is, does not switch to English and continues to speak Norwegian* “I’m sorry? I don’t understand you.”

Caller: “Ah, do you speak English?”

Me: *switches to my mother tongue, Icelandic* “Is this English? I’m sorry; I don’t speak English.

Caller: “English. Do you speak English?”

Me: *in my absolute worst Danish* “I’m sorry; I still don’t understand you.”

(I quickly whisper to my Danish coworker nearby what is happening and they nearly fall down laughing.)

Caller: “ENGLISH! DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?!”

Me: *pretends like I’m thinking about it, then exclaims in utter joy, in my bad German* “Deutch? Ja, ich sprechen Deutch!”

(“German? Yes, I speak German.” He hung up for some reason.)

The Kindness Muffin

, , , , | Hopeless | February 1, 2019

I was working the evening shift on a very quiet Sunday and I ordered some dinner through a food delivery company. It was raining badly outside; all our guests complained about it. The delivery guy, on a bike, came in completely soaking wet! I said I was so sorry to make him deliver my food in such bad weather and that I was happy to eat a nice, warm dinner during my break. He looked so cold and wet that I insisted he take some hot coffee from our coffee machine, and I gave him some chocolates that are usually for members of the hotel when they check in. He was very happy!

Several weeks later, I was working the same shift and again ordered my dinner through the same company. The same guy came with my food, and when he saw me he said he had something for me. He ran back to his bike and came back with a box of homemade muffins! His wife had made them and he really wanted me to have one, too. It was the most delicious muffin ever. Be kind to your delivery person!

Everyone Needs A Baba

, , , , , , | Hopeless | January 30, 2019

This happened several years ago when I was still quite new in the city. I was doing my grocery shopping one day and when I wanted to pay for my things it turned out that I did not have enough funds on my bank account to pay for all of it. Since my partner had been unemployed for a while already at that time, times were hard and funds very low. It seemed something had been auto paid from my account that I had forgotten about; therefore, I had less money than I’d thought when I went shopping. I still had a little on another credit card but I could not pay for everything. I was so embarrassed and ashamed. There was a queue forming behind me, too, by then. I became very flustered and tried to quickly pick some things out that weren’t so urgent for me to buy while I was very close to tears.

The cashier, a patient, elderly man, saw how flustered and embarrassed I was and gently said to me, “Please, do not worry about picking out groceries to leave behind; you can pay me back for the difference another day.” I immediately refused since I did not know this man and I did not want to cause trouble. He insisted he would pay for the difference because he also had daughters and sometimes life can be hard. By then I was really crying. I thanked him profusely while I packed my things. I asked him what his name was so I could bring the money another day and he said, “Just ask for Baba [Father]; everyone calls me that here.”

I came back a few days later with the money, a thank-you card, and some homemade cookies. I asked one of the guys working there if he had seen the elderly man and he immediately grinned widely and said to me, “Oh! That must be Baba!” It was clear he was very fond of him. I explained what had happened and he nodded. “Yes, that is something he would do; he is a bit of an extra father to all of us working here, too. He is not working today but I will make sure he gets this.”

Thank you, Baba, for looking out for me that day, and for taking good care of your coworkers, too!

Not Taking Into Account How You Use The Account

, , , , | Working | January 26, 2019

(My bank doesn’t let you take money out of a certain type of account more than twelve times a year without paying a fee. I have this account because the interest rate is pretty good, but I didn’t know about the withdrawal limit. I’m currently at the bank, with my dad, to transfer some of the money from one account to another. This is before I can do online banking, as I’m not eighteen at the time.)

Me: “Hi. I want to transfer some money from one account to another.”

Bank Teller: “All right, can you give me the account numbers?”

Me: “Sure.” *gives her the numbers*

Bank Teller: “Okay, I see here that you’ve taken money out of your account eleven times this year. You can only do it twelve times a year without paying a fee. Are you sure you want to transfer the money?”

Me: “What? I wasn’t aware of that.”

Dad: “Wait. I’ve never heard of this before. Is this new?”

Bank Teller: “Yes, we started with this a couple of months ago.”

Dad: “She’s had this account since she was three years old.” *it was in my parents’ names before I turned sixteen* “Why haven’t we been informed of it?”

Bank Teller: “Well, we just figured that people don’t really transfer or take money out of the bank more than twelve times a year when they’ve got this type of account.”

(My dad looks incredulously at me.)

Dad: “Well, in that case, we would like to close that account, and open another one. The same type of account. As she’s taken out money eleven times, there shouldn’t be a fee to transfer the money to a new account.”

Bank Teller: “I really can’t do that. You can only take money out of the account twelve times a year.”

Me: “Yeah, but if I open up a new account, that shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

Bank Teller: “Well… I’m sorry, but I can’t do that for you.”

Dad: “All right, thanks for your help. We won’t be withdrawing any money today, but we will go across the street to the other bank and switch all our accounts over there.”

Bank Teller: “What? No! I… I can fix it for you!”

(I managed to open up a new account, transferred all of the money over to that one, and closed the old account. Now that I can do online banking, it’s pretty easy to transfer myself, and open up new accounts and close them as I wish.)

Unfiltered Story #132089

, | Unfiltered | December 24, 2018

(I’m attend university about four and half hours away from my hometown. It’s 1:30 PM on December 8, I’ve just finished my last exam of the semester, and I’m getting ready to meet up with my parents at my aunt’s apartment not far from where I live (cleaning my room/bathroom, packing, etc.). Note: my oldest brother, although having a Facebook account, isn’t known for his social media usage, so the fact that this group conversation takes place exclusively over a messaging app is surprising. Also note that he is out of the country at this time, and six hours ahead of us.)

Oldest Brother: “Ask your father what he wants for Christmas/his birthday!”

Youngest Brother: “Wow, how modern you are!”

Oldest Brother: “With and antiquarian—“ *yes, he used that word* “—problem! Need help.”

Me: “Have you asked Mum?”

Oldest Brother: “Yes. I’ve forgotten what we talked about. Also, it’s work hours, so your fast replies are a little unnerving.”

Me: *being an unemployed, full-time student* “Work hours? What’s that? They’re coming into town tonight, so if it’s not a pressing matter I can lean on him then.”

Oldest Brother: “Works for me. Say hi from us.” *meaning him and his girlfriend* “Also, please ask about the gift policy regarding grandparents. I took a bus today, by the way.”

Me: “Mum suggested flowers/chocolates for them.”

Youngest Brother: “That could work. What do you guys want?”

Oldest Brother: “[Girlfriend] suggested some sort of family tree photo montage, but that seems like a bigger project. Could be good for Grandpa, though.”

(We talk a little back and forth about how me might make something like that (I suggest some sort of scrapbook, as I already have most of the materials), and gifts for each other In the end, OB suggested calling another aunt of ours for the family tree-thing, as she “likes to put things together”. She agreed with me.)