No JD For This DJ

, , , , , , | Working | January 12, 2018

(We are at a local town hall for a New Year’s party. The DJ comes in and starts to get all set up. He looks and acts frustrated. From the sounds of it this was a last minute thing his boss tossed his way. He grumbles and groans but gets set up fairly quickly. He grabs the mic.)

DJ: “Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3. Everyone hear me?”

(We cheer and holler.)

DJ: “Okay, folks, let’s get this party started; the more you drink the more fun we have!”

(There was dead silence. One of the party coordinators ran up to him and whispered something to let him know that this was an Alcoholics Anonymous party. There was no alcohol. The DJ did apologize, and then ran outside, cell phone in hand. Those near the door could hear him yelling at someone on the phone for not telling him it was an AA party. The rest of the night went smoothly and we all had fun.)

Been A While Since She Climbed The Family Tree

, , , , , , , , | Related | December 27, 2017

(At my family’s Christmas dinner, my uncle is talking to my cousin. His mom — my grandma — hears them, and asks this gem.)

Grandma: “Oh, you know [Cousin]?”

Uncle: “Yes, Mom. He’s my son.”

Me: *snorts into potatoes from a table away*

(In her defence, she’s 80 years old with eight kids. Not exactly easy to keep track.)

Surprise Party With A Surprise Result

, , , | Hopeless | December 4, 2017

I am a teacher and just have come to the realization that I have some form of anxiety. A side effect of this is that I constantly go through moments where I believe no one likes me, or I constantly berate myself for not being “good enough”. Even though I’m often praised for my work, or my friends reach out to help me, I often feel like I don’t matter. I’m usually really good at talking myself out of it, but it gets hard sometimes. I am also really good at putting on a good face, so people don’t normally see this.

One day, I was stressing over a busy work day and getting things together for my afternoon classes. A fellow teacher, who doesn’t have a car, had already asked if I could drive her to an appointment during the second half of lunch. I agreed, thinking I would eat during the first half, when another coworker came up to ask for a favour. She had something happen with a student and needed to help him, but she had supervision during the first half of lunch. I agreed to take over her supervision, even though I now wouldn’t get a lunch, because I knew a student’s safety was more important. After the first half of lunch, I raced back into the classroom to grab my car keys, when my kids jumped out of nowhere and yelled:

“SURPRISE!”

I stood there confused for a moment, until I saw “Happy Birthday [My Name]” written on the board and a dozen treats and goodies laid out. It was February and my birthday wasn’t until July, and my students had worked with another coworker to arrange a surprise party so I could celebrate my birthday “in school”. I was completely touched and happily surprised with what my students planned, and even more surprised when I found out the whole staff was in on it, too. Both of my coworkers who had needed my help that lunch period were just keeping me away from the classroom so the students could set up.

This meant more than they realized, because I used to always believe I wasn’t special enough for someone to plan a surprise party for me. To have it happen on an already stressful day, and for it to be completely unexpected, helped me in ways I can’t describe. Thank you to my class and everyone involved for making me see something I didn’t!

Behaving Fairly Fairy

, , , , , , , | Romantic | November 17, 2017

Some friends and I are at a party over Halloween weekend. One of them is dressed as the Good Fairy and carries a wand which is handmade of pretty thick wood, painted, with a star and glitter. She’s also a bit of a goody two-shoes, and every time someone swears she’ll tap them on the head with her wand and say, “The Good Fairy doesn’t like that!”

As the night goes on, people get progressively drunker, and a guy none of us knows has been bugging her for a while. We’re trying to get away from him when he grabs her breasts from behind. She swings around and smacks him in the face with the wand so hard she breaks it in half. “THE GOOD FAIRY DOESN’T LIKE THAT!”

He got kicked out.

Will Not Be Host To Your Charges

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I work at a bowling alley, hosting children’s birthday parties. The parents of this party have come up to pay, and are separating the party package into each part, rather than buying the full package.)

Cashier: “The total cost of your party, including the shoe hire, one game of bowling, five tokens per guest, and party host comes to [total].”

Mum: “What was that last part?”

Cashier: The party host, [My Name], is part of the package. They help organise the party, and part of each package goes towards their pay.”

Mum: *grumbles but pays, but later returns to her husband and explains the payment* “And we had to pay for the party host, too!”

Dad: “Why would we pay for her?”

(The kicker? A party host costs $10 out of a $200+ package. Parents, if you would like to take care of your kids for $10, please, be my guest.)

Page 1/1512345...Last
Next »