Disabling His Excuse

, , , , , | Friendly | June 24, 2018

(There is one member of my circle of “friends” who has a nasty tendency to insult people, and then immediately make an excuse that he has a social disability. Given how gleefully unrepentant he seems during it, I have difficulty actually believing it, and at one point, I just snap.)

Friend: “Hey, you’re looking less like a cow than usual.” *pauses, then smirks* “Oh, sorry, was that rude? You know that I can’t tell with my disability.”

Me: “Apparently, you can tell well enough to realize you need a disclaimer.”

(A couple of the people nearby chuckled, while he just glared at me, and then went to complain to some other people there about how “rude” I was. Now, he tends to avoid me, which I am not sad about at all.)

Alcohol Leaves No Survivors

, , , , , , , | | Friendly | May 25, 2018

My Muslim friend doesn’t drink, but she always thought it was funny when other people did and got a bit silly. Once we were having a small get-together and she decided she was going to mix us all cocktails. Even with our instructions telling her how much to put in, she made them strong; she used at least twice, if not three times as much alcohol as I would use.

Years later, she posted something on a social networking site about being a non-drinker and how annoying people were about it. I remembered this party and the cocktails, so I jokingly replied mentioning it. She went nuts at me, saying it never happened — maybe she doesn’t remember it but it happened — that she had never even touched the outside of a bottle of alcohol — a lie — and that I was malicious for posting it.

I realise that maybe I made a mistake posting publicly, as some of her Muslim friends and family might not know that she used to do things like that, and I have apologised for this. But I do not appreciate being called a liar.

This Behavior Just Takes The Cake

, , , , , , | | Working | May 18, 2018

(I am at a party venue for my child’s birthday.)

Employee #1: “So, the cake part is coming up soon. Can you bring it over here? I’ve already got the [venue] candles you ordered.”

Me: “All right, here’s the cake.”

(It is not a traditional birthday cake at all; it is an Asian sticky layer cake that normally has no dairy. Actually, it’s pastry, but called a cake. Ours is deep red and white layers.)

Employee #1: “Uh, what is this? We’re preparing the birthday cake.”

Me: “That is the birthday cake.”

(I then place a “Happy Birthday” sign that I bought elsewhere into the cake, and pick up a candle, when the employee starts yanking the sign out.)

Employee #1: “This is not a birthday cake! You can’t give this to your kid!”

Me: “Hands off!”

(He then grabs the candle out of my hand.)

Employee #1: “That is not a birthday cake. I’m not letting you do something so stupid! There’s no way your kid nor any of your kid’s friends would like this! Go and buy a normal cake.”

Me: “My kid can’t eat a normal cake. They have milk in them. This one doesn’t.”

Employee #1: “Then find a vegan cake shop! You can’t pass this garbage as cake! No one wants it!”

Me: “NO! My kid wants this. We’ve had one every birthday. Also, this is traditionally made without milk, and we can make our own. This is homemade!”

Employee #1: “I told you this isn’t a birthday cake!”

Me: “Look, it is for us!”

Employee #2: “What’s the problem here?”

Employee#1: “This is not a birthday cake!”

Me: “It is our birthday cake.”

Employee #2: “It is if she says it is. Does it really matter?”

Employee #1: “Of course it matters; this is not a birthday cake.”

Employee #2: “I’ll handle this; just go do something else.”

(We’ve had a lot of people confused and curious over the years, but this is the first and only time someone had more to say.)


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That Escalated Past College Quickly

, , , , | Friendly | March 26, 2018

(I’m 18 years old, and it’s near the end of my last year of school. A small group of us are chatting at a party. I am talking to a friend of the host, but I don’t know him very well.)

Friend Of Host: “Where do you all work, then?”

Friend #1: “I’m not working at the minute. Just focusing on my A-levels.”

Me: “Same here.”

Friend #2: “I work at [Shop], but I have a lot of college work, as well, so I’m pretty stressed. What about you?”

Friend Of Host: “You must all think you’re so much better than me, doing your A-levels and college. I got a full-time job straight after my GCSEs, but you all think you’re amazing because you’re still studying some p**** subjects. I hate all these f****** nerds who think they’re all that because they spend their lives sucking their teachers’ d**ks!”

(He then got up and walked off.)

No Rest Even In The Restroom

, , , , , | Friendly | March 15, 2018

(I’m an 18-year-old female. I go to a party at the house of some friends. It’s a very family-friendly party. There are people of all ages there including lots of kids. There is no alcohol, but there is lots of good food. When I arrive, I warmly greet various friends, including a man much older than me. We’re not close friends, but we do know each other from previous encounters. He makes small talk with me as we both move through the house. I’m in a good mood, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere of the party, and smiling as we talk. I’m headed for a hallway with a bathroom, and I assume he’s heading for the nearby kitchen, where the biggest crowd of people are helping themselves to food. But as I start to enter the bathroom, he’s right on my heels.)

Me: “Oh, were you going in here? I’m sorry.”

(I step back away from the door.)

Man: “No, I’m going in there with you.”

Me: *taken aback* “Um, why?”

Man: “In case you needed help.”

(I am flabbergasted for a moment, and then creeped out, and then angry.)

Me: “I don’t need help peeing, thanks.”

Man: “Are you sure?”

Me: *feeling really angry now* “Yeah. I’m sure.”

(I closed the door with me inside the bathroom and him outside it. I locked the door. If you’re ever in a situation where an old man mistakes your friendly demeanor for flirting, don’t do what I did: lock yourself alone in a bathroom until you calm down and then spend the rest of the party avoiding that old man without telling anyone what happened. Thankfully, he seemed to be embarrassed and avoided me as much as I did him for the rest of the party. Looking back, years later with more life experience, I know now how lucky I was that day, and that I should have immediately gone looking for the hosts of the party for help.)

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