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Left At The Hereafter

, , , | Right | August 23, 2010

(I have to talk to many different dentists throughout the day. The old ones speak in a very old-fashioned Norwegian.)

Me: “[Company]; this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Client: “Yes, you see, my customer just left, and I forgot to take a copy of his bill. Could you send me a new one?”

Me: “Sure, miss, but I can see you live quite the distance from here. May I suggest calling the customer to get it back, or get the numbers? I am quite sure it’ll be easier for you.”

Client: “But you don’t understand! He just left!”

Me: “I understand, miss. I still believe it would be easier for you if you just called the customer, though.”

Client: “What part of ‘he just left’ is so hard to understand? He left!”

Me: “I see. I’m sorry if I bothered you with my opinions. I’m printing out a copy of the bill right as we speak, and it’ll be out by tomorrow at noon.”

Client: “Good. That’s all right then.” *mumbles to herself* “…asking me to call his widow for the bill. Outrageous.”

Me: “Widow? Excuse me, miss, but is your customer dead?”

Client: “Oh, so now you get it, huh? I told you, he left!”


This story is part of our Weird Words roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Stories About Customers Who Don’t Know The Names Of Things

 

Read the next Weird Words roundup story!

Read the Weird Words roundup!

The Price Of Laziness

, , , , | Right | July 26, 2010

Customer: “My phone doesn’t work. It has dial sound only!”

Me: “Okay, what I need you to do is to reset your phone by disconnecting it from the power and try the main phone connection.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time to do that. You have to send out a serviceman and fix this now!”

Me: “Yes, of course we can do that. However, if the serviceman discovers that the problem is related to your phone or cables, you will have to pay for the service which is 1875NOK (around $290 USD).”

Customer: “What did you say that I had to do first?”


This story is part of our Lazy Customers roundup!

Read the next Lazy Customers roundup story!

Read the Lazy Customers roundup!

Inn-Experienced Dialer

, , | Right | February 14, 2010

Me: “Welcome to [Wireless Carrier]. How may we help you today?”

Caller: “I want to book a room at the hotel.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You’ve called [Wireless Carrier], so we can’t help you with that.”

Caller: “What? Why not? I called the number on the promo letter I received!”

Me: “You’ve called a cell phone company, not a hotel.”

Caller: “Why won’t you help me? I just want to book the room, and it says call this number!”

Me: “Sir, we are not a hotel; we have cell phones. I’m sure the hotel can assist you with booking a room if you call the correct number.”

Caller: “Why can’t you help me? Is it because you are completely booked?”

Me: “Yes, that’s why.”

Caller: “Okay, I’ll call somebody else, then.” *click*


This story is part of our roundup about customers who are bad listeners!

Read the next story in the bad listening customers roundup!

Read the bad listening customers roundup!

The Perils Of Information Underload

, , , | Right | July 23, 2009

(I’m a band host for a Norwegian band and am working at a music festival in Trondheim, Norway. An irate lady comes up to me.)

Lady: “What the h*** is going on?”

Me: “This is the Trondheim Rock Festival.”

Lady: “But it’s in the middle of everything!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

Lady: “I have to go all around it to get to the other side of the city center!”

Me: “Yes. Yes, you do.”

Lady: “But this is outrageous! How can you do this without telling people on beforehand?”

Me: “Well, there’s been a lot of publicity on TV, posters on the walls, and in the newspapers. It also takes place the same time each year.”

Lady: “Hmph! I think you should get something done about this. You can’t expect people to remember, look at posters, read newspapers, or watch TV all the time!”

Playing Unfair With The Fairer Sex

, , , , , | Right | February 8, 2009

(I provide Internet support over the phone. I am the only qualified technician working today. I also happen to be female.)

Me: “Welcome to [Company] Internet support. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh, hello, sweetheart. I didn’t realize I’d reached the reception. Would you please connect me to Internet support?”

Me: “This is Internet support. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I want help with a technical problem. I can’t talk to you. I want to talk to a man!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you that I’ll be able to help you with your technical problem. I am the qualified technician here today.”

Customer: “You are a girl! You have no clue how to help me! This is man stuff. I demand to speak with a man!”

(This continues for ten minutes. The customer gets more and more aggravated and starts yelling nasty comments. I give up, and connect him to my coworker, who sits next to me. My coworker is male.)

Coworker: “Welcome to [Company] Internet support. My name is [Coworker]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Finally, a man! My Internet is so unstable these days; I can’t seem to stay on it! It takes forever to load and the speed is horrible!”

Coworker: “Sir, I see the problem, and I’m sending a report. It will be fixed on Monday.”

Customer: “What?! It’s Saturday! Why do you have to wait until Monday? I want it fixed now!”

Coworker: “Well, we would need a qualified technician to log into the system to fix your line. It’s Saturday, so there is only one qualified technician working.”

Customer: “Get him to fix it now! I demand to speak with him!”

Coworker: “Sir, you have already spoken to her.”

Customer: “Wait. Her?”

Coworker: “Yes. You spoke to our only qualified technician earlier today. You yelled profanities at her, and demanded to speak to a man.”

Customer: “So, I’ll be lucky if my Internet is up again on Monday?”

Coworker: “You’ll be lucky if you have Internet at all.”