Photocopiers Just Get Cooler And Cooler

| Windsor, England, UK | Right | May 18, 2017

(A middle-aged lady walks into our print shop one afternoon and comes to the counter looking a bit hesitant.)

Me: “Hello, can I help?”

Customer: “My friend told me I can do photocopies here. Is that right?”

Me: “Yes, certainly.”

Customer: “Oh… well, where are the photocopiers?”

Me: “Well, there’s one just behind you. And one over there by the door. And one up there, and one just beyond it.”

Customer: “Oh! I thought they were fridges!”

A Bad Temp-erament

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Working | April 14, 2017

(I work in a print production facility where we print large quantities of things like pamphlets, booklets, and instructional guides. We also do a lot of the bindery work that has to be done after they are printed. When we get heavy workloads we often hire temps to help with the fairly easy — but time consuming — bindery tasks. I witnessed this one morning.)

Manager: *walking in with a temp worker* “Hi, [Coworker], this is [Temp]. She’ll be helping you out today. Show her what she needs to do.”

Coworker: “Okay, sure thing! Right this way, [Temp]!”

(My coworker spends about 10 or 15 minutes showing the temp how to use the machinery and what work needs to be done.)

Temp: “Wait, this is it?”

Coworker: “What?”

Temp: “This is ALL I’m doing today?”

Coworker: “Uh… Yes. This is what we need help with.”

Temp: “I don’t want to do this.”

Coworker: *a bit dumbfounded at this point* “Well… this is what we hired you for; this is why you’re here.”

Temp: *getting slightly aggressive* “Well, I’m better than this. I shouldn’t have to do this!”

Coworker: “There’s nothing else for you to do here. We hired you from the temp agency to come do these tasks. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

Temp: “Fine!”

(She finally starts doing the work she is supposed to, but very slowly, and complains about it several times. A couple hours later the temp gets the manager’s attention and asks him about when she can take a lunch break. My coworker must have already told the manager about the temp’s attitude.)

Temp: “When do I get to take a lunch?”

Manager: “You can go ahead and go now. And don’t come back. We’re calling the temp agency and getting a replacement for you.”

(The temp was not happy to hear it, but I don’t know what she expected from us after acting like that!)

Placing An Ad In The Daily Prophet

| NM, USA | Right | February 22, 2017

(I answer the phone.)

Customer: “I sent you the file for my ad. Were you able to open it?”

Me: “I don’t see anything in the email except your signature. Are you sure you sent it?”

Customer: “Yes! It’s the running bird!”

Me: “The animated gif file in your signature?”

Customer: “That’s the one.”

Me: “This is a print shop. I can’t even begin to explain why this won’t print.”

Customer: “There are moving billboards now. Aren’t those printed? Do what the billboards do.”

Doesn’t Get How Working Works

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Right | September 1, 2016

(The phone rings and I answer.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hey, so, I know you’re open until 11 pm, but I was just wondering if you’ll still have people there that late.”

Me: “Um… I’m sorry; I don’t follow. We are open to customers until 11.”

Caller: “Yeah, I know, but like, will you still have people still working there then?”

Me: “Oh, uh… yeah?”

Caller: “Okay, cool, thanks.” *click*

(I have to wonder what kinds of stores he’s been to that allow their employees to leave the store unlocked, operating, and open to customers after they clock out and leave!)

A Bad Sign About This One

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Right | July 18, 2016

(A customer approaches my print center counter.)

Customer: “Hi! I’d like to order a sign for my business’s door, but I want it to be in full color.”

Me: “Sure! What size did you need the sign to be?”

Customer: “It’s a sign for my door. But in full color.”

Me: “Yes, that’s no problem. I just need to know what size you’d like to order.”

Customer: “IT’S A SIGN FOR MY DOOR. BUT I WANT IT TO BE IN FULL COLOR!”

Me: “Ma’am, I need a measurement. I have to tell the sign company what size you want them to make your sign.”

Customer: *holds up her smartphone* “If I show you a picture of my old sign, will that help? It’s on my door. But I want the new one to be in full color.”

(She eventually had to call her husband over, and HE informed us that the sign they wanted was 2”x10” in size.)

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