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You Can’t Zoom In On A T-Shirt Anyway

, , , , , | Right | January 25, 2023

I work for a screen print shop. People send us their logos, and before we go to print, our designer makes a quick digital mockup to show the clients how their designs will look on a shirt.

A client sent us their company’s logo, and we sent them back the proof. The client called within a minute.

Client: *Sounding a little unhappy* “Hi. Yeah, the proof you sent us? Um, it looks okay, but when I zoom in, it’s really pixelated.”

Me: “Correct. We sent you a jpeg; all jpegs look pixelated when you zoom in.”

Client: “Right, but… Well, I guess what I’m saying is… will the shirts look like that once they’re printed?”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Because this is the proof of how they’ll turn out.”

Me: “No, screen printing requires very precise lines. This is just to give you an idea of how the logo will look once it’s on the shirt. We used the design we were initially sent, but if there’s a different one we should be using…”

Client: *Not convinced in the least* “You know, we had a graphic designer actually do a whole mock-up of it already, exactly the way it should look. I’ll just send you that.”

The designer’s mock-up was, of course, a jpeg of their logo on a shirt. She must not have zoomed in that time.

Customers Are Slippery

, , , , , , , | Right | January 18, 2023

I work for a printing company that mostly prints custom signs. Customers can either pay to have somebody design a custom sign, buy a premade one, or use our website to create their own sign using various templates and assets. A customer can add one symbol and add their own text. Before a customer submits the design, it shows them digital proofs, and then the customer ticks a box to say they have looked at it and approved it. Once the customer checks that box and submits it, the designs come to me and my team.

When we get a design, if anything looks a little off, such as an obvious typo, we can call to confirm with the customer at our discretion. We are not required to do this as the customer has already approved the proofs, but most of the time, we do call and check.

It’s a quiet day, and I get a design through for a hazard sign which has the symbol for a slippery floor, but the text reads, “Warning: surface wet when wet.” I figure this is an error, so I call up the customer.

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] from [Printing Company]. I’m just starting on your order, but I wanted to check—”

Customer: “Why the h*** are you calling me?! Just get on with it. I need the signs now!

Me: “I am going to get right on them, but I just wanted to check because I think there might have been a mistake—”

Customer: “I put that order together myself! I don’t make mistakes!”

Me: “Okay, so to confirm, your sign should say, ‘Wet when wet’?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Not ‘Slippery when wet’?”

Customer: “No!”

I confirmed several times that his sign currently said, “Wet when wet,” and asked if it should be “Slippery when wet.” The customer confirmed the sign was correct as it was and repeated that he didn’t make mistakes. I thanked him for his time. The customer screamed at me to get the job done or he was going to sue and then hung up.

I made a note on his account and went to work.

A few weeks later, my manager approached me to say we’d had a complaint. You guessed it: it was the same customer screaming at us that the signs were wrong. They should have said, “Slippery when wet.” The customer was demanding a full refund and wanted them remade and sent out free of charge. The manager had seen my note and asked me for more details. The call recording and signed proofs showed that we were not at fault, so the customer was denied a refund because it was his error and we wouldn’t be able to resell the signs.

The customer insisted we had messed up, not him, and his complaint got escalated up to the highest point it could, but he still didn’t get his refund because we could prove he was the one who made a mistake.

Two weeks later, we received another order from him, this time with the correct wording, but the customer included a passive-aggressive note warning us not to “mess up again”. My manager and I had a good laugh about that one.

I wonder what he did with the fifty “wet when wet” signs?

It’s Cute That They Think People Read Signs

, , , , , , | Right | January 15, 2023

I’m answering the phone at the print shop where I work.

Me: “[Location] Printing, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. I’m trying to get a couple of small signs made — just simple text and, I dunno, the size of a piece of paper?”

Me: “Sure! You can—”

Caller: “HOOOOONK!”

Me: “—can, uh, email us a design at—”

Caller: “Yeah, that won’t be necessary. Can I just describe it? We really gotta hurry this process up. I’ll accept all liability of whatever if you just do the bare minimum to make it okay.”

Me: “Uh, let me ask my sup—”

Caller: “HOOOOONK!”

Me: “—my supervisor about that. Can you describe what you’d like?”

Caller: “Big bold letters. Bright background. Text that says, ‘Do not test airhorns indoors.’ That’s a— HOOOONK!”

We Hope No One Shows Up To Her Event

, , , | Right Working | July 11, 2022

A customer orders a batch of custom invites from us. She signs off on the final design and comes back later to pick them up.

Customer: “There are things misspelled on these!”

Me: “You signed off on them, ma’am.”

Customer: “You must have changed them without my knowing! Get me a manager!”

My manager ended up giving the customer her invites for free and taking the price out of my pay.

I’m glad I was able to walk out of that job at the time.

We Wish We Knew What Church This Was So We Could Avoid It

, , , , , , | Friendly Right | June 14, 2022

When I worked in a print shop, I was the only person in the office. I often had people treat me like a therapist, and of course, I was trapped.

This woman came in to have a bunch of scraps of paper copied — torn notebook pages, scratch paper, ripped sticky notes, things like that. As I was copying everything and meticulously spreading them out to her liking, she started telling me why she needed these copies.

I wish I could remember it all, but she told me a convoluted story about how the young new pastor at her church was sweet on a married woman, caused a divorce, and then was flaunting his new bride.

Apparently, this customer was the organist and she knew something secret about the affair, and someone was trying to keep her quiet by stealing her organ music in hopes that she would leave. She had apparently confronted several people, but no one would listen to her, and she was laughed out of the church.

She later went to the pastor’s home and punched him in the face. The reason she needed all these notes was to use as “evidence” in her trial that she was actually the victim.

Folks. She talked to me for four hours. Four. And no, I never got her name.