So THAT’S What He Did After The Bible

(It’s the new year, and Mum is putting away the Christmas decorations. One of the things she got for Christmas was a large Santa gnome decoration, which my brother and his girlfriend insisted be named. Note: My mum grew up, and is to date, religious.)

Mum: “[My Name], what did we name the Santa?”

Me: “I don’t know; it had like three complicated names. Why don’t you just rename it?”

Mum: “Okay, then his name will be Joseph!”

Me: “Joseph?”

Mum: “Yeah, after the Polish guy who gave my dad a bottle of alcohol every Christmas, which always irritated my mum.”

Me: “Ah, so not Joseph Joseph.”

Mum: “No, that would be weird.”