(I have a small nose stud. As I’m taking an old man’s tickets, he reaches out and pokes my nose ring.)
Customer: *in a rude, judgmental tone* “So, what’s this for?”
Me: “It’s a signal to the other lesbians.”
Customer: *makes a horrified face and scurries away*
(I’m a cashier at a newly opened gas station. It is the first of its chain in the area. As such, many of the customers are asking questions about the store. Since we’re new, I’m trying my best to be extra friendly and helpful to everyone. An old woman approaches me with several items. She looks rather concerned.)
Customer: “So… are you a gas station or a grocery store?”
Me: “Both, ma’am. We’re all about convenience.”
Customer: “And what sorts of customers come here?”
Me: “Well, we’ve just opened, ma’am, so it’s hard to say at this point.”
Customer: “I don’t want to shop at a store for God-hating homosexuals.”
Me: “Come again?”
Customer: “You heard me!”
(I do my best to maintain a neutral stance and begin scanning her items as quickly as possible.)
Me: “Ma’am, by policy we can’t turn away customers.”
(She gives me a strange look and her eyes widen.)
Customer: “You’re one of them aren’t you!?”
Me: “Pardon?”
Customer: “You’re a f****t!”
Me: “I’m not, actually, but it is my job to serve any customer that comes to my register.”
Customer: “I will never come here again! May God have mercy on your sinful soul!”
(I stand there for a few moments absolutely dumbstruck. Meanwhile, two older gentlemen in matching lavender shirts come up to my register and drop a $50 bill in my tip jar while only purchasing a single gallon of milk. One of them grins and looks me in the eye.)
Older Gentleman: “Doesn’t matter if you’re on ‘our team’ or not. We’re coming here every day from now on.”
(I over-hear two members of our Star Wars costume group. We only ever dress up as the bad guys from the movies.)
Her: “Hey. Uh… I noticed you’re doing your best to pick up Sally?”
Him: “Yeah, she’s pretty cute.”
Her: “You do realise she bats for the other team, right?”
Him: “You mean, she’s a Jedi?”
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(I work for a company that hosts kids’ parties. One party is coming in just as another is leaving, and in the chaos, a gay couple and their daughter are getting overlooked. At the time, I am the only female on duty.)
Me: “Can I help you, sirs?”
Customer: “We just bought a ball, but we don’t know how to blow it up.”
(I take the family to the pump and show their daughter how to use it. Her dads thank me profusely and one of them makes sure to comment.)
Customer: “That’s proof, Charlotte. If you want something done right, you have to ask a woman.”
(I’m working check out as a gay couple comes up to my line with a dozen or so bananas.)
Customer: “So, what do you think two gay men are going to do with this many bananas?”
Me: *playing along* “Uh, make phallic jokes, then eat them?”
Customer: “Well, yeah, but we’re making banana bread!”
