He’s A Two Timer
(It’s Christmas Eve, and my boyfriend and I are visiting my parents before he goes to work for the evening. All of the family’s presents are stacked under the tree, including a plush that I’ve been begging for. It’s in plain sight with a gold star — representing his medal — right on his chest.)
Me: *upon seeing the plush* “Oh, awesome.”
Boyfriend: “Aw, crap. Is that the plush you wanted?”
Me: “Yep! I’m betting that’s from my sister since we were kind of coordinating that.”
Boyfriend: “So… you like it a lot, right?”
Me: “Uh, yeah?”
Boyfriend: “Enough that you’d want two?”
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