Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer stories

Queer As Folk Re-Vamped

, , , , , | Right | January 19, 2011

Customer: “Hey. You were talking about vampire books with the last customer?”

Me: “They’re here on the wall next to the counter.”

Customer: “Do you have any gay ones?”

Me: “Do you mean as in homoerotic literature?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Oh, no. Have you tried [Romance Bookshop] across the road?”

Customer: “Why would I go there? I just want gay vampires.”

Me: “Well, that’s generally a subsection of romance, not sci-fi.”

Customer: “I don’t want romance! I just want gay vampires!”


Did you find this story using our Harvey Milk Day roundup?

Click here to get back to it!

Click here to see the next story!

You Couldn’t Make It Up

, , , | Right | January 17, 2011

(My job is to call people and pitch the brand of make-up my company sells. I call and an obviously really young girl answers the phone.)

Little Girl: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, may I talk to the lady of this residence?”

Little Girl: “That’s me.”

Me: “I mean, may I talk to your mom?”

Little Girl: “I have two dads.”

Me: “Oh well, never mind, then. Have a nice day!”

Little Girl: “Wait! Why did you call?”

Me: “I’m selling make-up.”

Little Girl: “Oh! One of my daddies loves that stuff. It makes him look pretty when he goes dancing! Let me give him the phone! Dad! Dad! Some girl wants to make you look pretty!”


Did you find this story using our Harvey Milk Day roundup?

Click here to get back to it!

Click here to see the next story!

Fruity Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

, , , , | Right | November 2, 2010

(I work at the front desk and am checking in a new patient. Note that I am a lesbian, wearing a clearly visible pentagram necklace, and am in a five-year relationship.)

Me: “Good morning! Go ahead and sign in, and I’ll let the doctor know you’re here.”

Patient: “Your eyes are gorgeous!”

Me: “Thanks. Have a seat while I look through your paperwork.”

Patient: *doesn’t move*

Me: “Ma’am?”

Patient: “Your eyes are really just so beautiful. I can see the power of God in you. You are truly an angel, do you know that?”

Me: “I… get that a lot?”

Patient: “Are you single?”

Me: “No.”

Patient: “Are you sure? Is it serious?”

Me: “Yeah, pretty serious.”

Patient: “Oh, but you’ll just love my son. You have to meet him as soon as he gets back from his Mormon mission!”

Me: “Uhm…”

Patient: “Are you sure you can’t consider breaking up with your boyfriend?”

Me: “I really don’t think she’d take that well.”

Patient: “What?”

Me: “I said I really don’t think I’m allowed to date patients or their family members.”

Patient: “Oh… but do think about it. Your eyes are really just so pure! He’d really be perfect for you!”

(She called several weeks later to say she’d been committed to a mental hospital.)


This story is part of the misunderstood-lesbians-themed roundup!

Read the next misunderstood-lesbian-themed roundup story!

Read the misunderstood-lesbian-themed roundup!

Stereo-Griping

, , | Right | October 14, 2010

(While stocking items on the shelf I notice a guy sitting by the changing rooms with the bored, “being forced to go shopping with the missus” look on his face.)

Me: “Girlfriend making you comment on everything in the store?”

Guy: “Me? No. I’m gay. My friend only just found out and figured we could go shopping together despite my protests.”

Me: “Sorry bout the mistake, you just had the usual ‘get me out of here’ look.”

(At this point the girl comes out of the changing room to show off her outfit.)

Girl: “What do you think?”

Guy: “I don’t know. It’s good, I guess.”

Girl: *in a huff* “You’re no good at this! What’s the point in being gay if you don’t like shopping for clothes?!”

(She storms back into the changing room.)

Guy: “Jeez, this is worse than having to come out to my parents.”

 

Did you find this story using our Harvey Milk Day roundup?

Click here to get back to it!

Click here to see the next story!

Excess Of XY

, , , , , , | Right | October 4, 2010

Me: “Hi, my name is Randi, I’ll be taking your order tonight.”

Old Man: “Randi? That’s a boy’s name.”

Me: “No, it’s spelled with a ‘Y’. Mine is spelled with an ‘I’. I’m a girl.”

Old Woman: “Leave her alone; maybe she’s both! They have those nowadays.”


This story is part of our Old Folk With No Filter roundup!

Read the next Old Folk With No Filter roundup story!

Read the Old Folk With No Filter roundup!


Did you find this story using our Harvey Milk Day roundup?

Click here to get back to it!

Click here to see the next story!