Spinning A Tale About Dad

, , , , , | Related | January 11, 2019

(I’m watching an old TV show called “Talespin” from the way-early 90s. The main character, Baloo, has just been hurt — in a cartoon way — and blasted off-screen.)

Dad: *from one floor up and over a room* “Oh, God!”

(He was watching the Cotton Bowl game, but it was just perfect timing.)

Unfiltered Story #135070

, , | Unfiltered | December 26, 2018

(I answer technical support phone calls for a worldwide spam filtering and email hosting company. We host everything from basic POP3 mailboxes to the newest Microsoft Exchange servers. This is in 2015 and this call lasts about 20 minutes.)
Me:  Thank you for calling [Company] Technical Support, how can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I have a computer technician working on an issue with me, and we’ve tried to solve this for about an hour and we’re not getting anywhere. I’m not sure I understand any of this, but the technician said that I should call you and that you would ask me some questions.
Me: Uh… Okay, do you know what questions he said I would ask?
Customer: I don’t know. I don’t really know what’s going on with this. I have an email with an attachment that I need, and we can’t get into [Company]’s webmail.
Me: Alright, then I may be able to help. What is the email address you host with us?
Customer: [Customer’s Name]@[Hosted Domain Name].com
Me: One moment, let me pull up the account.
(I search the domain name and find that not only is this company’s email not hosted with us, they cut all services with our company back in 2011…)
Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, but I think you may have called the wrong number. I do see an account for that domain name, but all services with us were cancelled 4 years ago back in 2011.
Customer: Okay, so what do you need from me to be able to access my email?
Me: Nothing. Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do as your company’s email isn’t hosted with us.
Customer: So how do I get this attachment!
Me: You would call your email host…
Customer: I don’t know who that is, I thought that was you!
Me: No, ma’am. Your company filtered email with us, but the account has been closed since 2011…
Customer: So who do I need to call?
Me: Ma’am, I’m sorry that you can’t log into your own company email account, but you need to call your boss or your helpdesk, which is not us.

Unfiltered Story #133450

, , , | Unfiltered | December 20, 2018

We had a lady return Easter Bunny figurines that she had purchased in 2003. We are a chain store that has to return EVERYTHING with no questions asked. The lady still had her receipt, so we had to give her the full retail price she paid over a decade ago. The kicker of this whole story, our location wasn’t built until 2006.

Later that night when I got home, I immediately dumped the little bit of the company stock I still owned. The company might be partially “employee owned” but they don’t let us re-write their stupid policies.

They’re Not In The Upper Percentile, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | December 18, 2018

Me: “All right, your total is $10 and with your 20% off coupon, your total now comes to $8.”

Customer: “What?! But I thought that coupon would take off, like, half the price!”

They’re Not In The Upper Percentile

Moaning About A Hire Power

, , , , , | Right | December 15, 2018

(I work in a home improvement store. It’s 8:30 on a Saturday morning during a summer hiring fair. I’m the only cashier due to the other cashier requiring a break and the supervisor running the hiring table. Four people decide to all check out at the same time. While I’m ringing up the first person, I overhear two of the others talking.)

Woman #1: “I can’t believe they only have one cashier! I hate waiting.”

Woman #2: “And they don’t have self-checkouts open, either.”

Woman #1: “Well, I won’t use them. If you can’t get me a cashier; I’m out of there!”

Woman #2: “Yeah! I won’t use them, either. They’re just trying to fire all cashiers and replace them with machines. And the ones they do have are paid $8 an hour and get no insurance. They just want to keep people on government assistance!”

(During her rant, I finish with the previous customer, and it is now her turn. She keeps ranting for another five minutes while I try to get her attention. Finally, another customer gestures to her that it’s her turn. She completely ignores me, while still ranting to the second woman about how her aunt won’t use ATMs or debit cards because they take jobs away from bank tellers, and how she just can’t believe we only have one cashier. The second woman is agreeing with her on all of her points. After she leaves, I ring up the second woman.)

Woman #2: “You should really hire more cashiers.”

Me: “Yes, that’s why we’re having a hiring fair, right inside the entrance.”

Woman #2: “Oh.”

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