A Hair-Raising Alarm Clock

, , , , | Related | July 18, 2017

(My sister is two years old. We’re playing in my room, and I’m pretending to be asleep.)

Sister: “Sissy! Wake up!”

Me: *fake snore*

Sister: *tousling my hair, trying to ‘wake’ me* “SISSY!”

Me: *fake snore*

Sister: *still messing up my hair* “SISSY! WAKE UP!” *pause* “YOUR HAIR IS A MESS!”

Me: *starts laughing hysterically* “Okay, I’m up! I’m up!”

Praying For Them To Hang Up

, , , , | Right | July 1, 2017

(I work a desk at a public library. I’ve seen my fair share of strange in my career, but this interaction is one of the weirdest I’ve had at my current job.)

Me: *answers phone, gives standard greeting* “How can I help you today?”

Caller: “I don’t have Internet at home and I need you to tell me the weather for the next two days. Is it going to snow?”

Me: “All right, just give me a moment to pull up a weather report. Are you in [Town where library is located]?”

Caller: “No, I’m in [Neighboring Town].”

Me: “Okay, I’ll pull up the weather report for [Neighboring Town].”

(While I get on a popular weather website, the caller starts telling me how she needs the weather to be good for the next few days because she’s got friends coming to visit and she hasn’t seen them in forever.)

Me: “Okay, the weather for the next two days shows 1-3 inches of snow tomorrow and freezing rain the following day.”

Caller: “No, that can’t be true! What site are you using?” *I tell her the site name* “Well, [Other Popular Weather Site] must have a different report. Can you check them?”

(I proceed to do so, and give her the weather as stated in their site. It’s even worse than the first site.)

Caller: “Are you absolutely certain? My friends can’t come in if it snows! And I haven’t seen them in so long! I’m homebound and in a wheelchair and if it snows, I just don’t know what I’ll do!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s what the weather is for the next two days.”

(I start to ask her if there’s anything else I can do for her, but she cuts me off.)

Caller: “But what will I do? What will I do? I never get out, I never see anyone, and my friends were going to help me pray for my niece! If they can’t come and pray for her, she might die!”

(At this point, it’s clear that this is someone who calls the library to talk to whoever picks up the phone. These people are usually lonely and the library is an outlet for them. I feel bad for her, but I now have one person standing in front of me waiting for help and I need to assist them.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not really sure. I’m sorry the weather is interfering with your plans. Now, is there something else I can—”

Caller: *her voice is now quavering, like she might cry* “But what DO I DO?” *silence, mostly because I have no idea what to tell her* “Oh, I know! You can pray for her!”

Me: *who is an atheist and very private about my personal views* “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if there isn’t anything else I can help you with that’s library related—”

Caller: “NO! You have to tell me you’ll pray for her!”

Me: *has to pull the phone away from my ear because she’s yelling into the phone, and the customer waiting at the desk shoots me a look because he can hear her* “Ma’am, I’m going to have to end this call, as I have someone else waiting for help. Have a good day!

Caller: *who is screeching at this point* “You’re a horrible person! You need to learn a little sympathy! People like you will burn in Hell! *click*

Customer: *who had patiently waiting* “Did that woman just hang up on you?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Customer: “What was her problem?”

Me: “It’s going to snow tomorrow and I’m apparently a horrible person.”

Customer: *who starts to laugh* “Well, the first is true but from what I saw, you handled her very well. Do you get calls like that often?”

Me: “With screaming? Not really. But with unusual requests? All the time.”

Customer: “Is that your best one that’s happened?”

Me: “Oh, no. My favorite was when someone called asking for the phone numbers of the first ten presidents.”

Not Too Chicken To Confront Mom

, , , , , , | Right | June 30, 2017

(I work at a fast food chicken restaurant and it’s a very slow day. A lady with two little kids comes in.)

Lady: “Can I have a hamburger and kids meals for these two–”

Me: “Ma’am, we are a chicken—”

Lady: “—and I want two root-beers and a water.”

Me: “Ma’am, we are a chicken—”

Lady: *yelling over me* “AND I WANT SOME FRENCH FRIES!”

Me: “Ma’am, we are [Fast Food Chicken Restaurant].”

Lady: *visually angry* “NO, YOU AREN’T! YOU ARE WHAT I TELL YOU WHAT YOU ARE, AND YOU’RE [Burger Chain]!”

Little Boy #1: “Mom, this is [Fast Food Chicken Restaurant].”

Lady: “NO, IT’S NOT, [Little Boy #1]!”

Little Boy #2: “Mom, what does it the sign above the menu say?”

Lady: “[Fast Food Chicken Restaurant].”

Little Boy #1 & #2: “So we’re in the wrong place, so let’s leave.”

(Lady left with her kids. Never in my career have I seen two little kids correct their parent like that. I was speechless the rest of the day.)

Unfiltered Story #90281

, | Unfiltered | June 25, 2017

During the years I lived in Indiana, I didn’t have a car and depended on the bus system completely to get around. Normally this wasn’t a problem. However, there were a few occasions it was NAW-worthy.

One day, I needed to get to the bank after work. This required catching two buses one after the other and relied on both being on time, along with my coworker, who had to clock in before I could leave.

My coworker was five minutes late, and I ran the full quarter mile to the bus stop (which included going up two flights of stairs and through a building; side note that I am not a very athletic or even very active person). Miraculously, I still made it to the stop with just under two minutes to spare.

And yet as I came stumbling/sprinting up to the stop, I saw the bus pulling away from the curb — early, and into a red light! Not only did the driver have no reason to pull away from the curb because of the light, she was still a good minute and a half from even arriving at the stop!

Normally, I would’ve let it go, but I *had* to get to the bank, so I wound up all my courage and stepped over to knock on the bus door (it wasn’t fully away from the curb, so there was no traffic hazard). The driver skewered me with a furious death scowl and shook her head. All through that red light, I had to stand on the curb staring at the bus I desperately needed to be on, and could’ve been on if not for my careless late coworker and the sadistic early bus driver.

The Picture Of An Impossible Request

, , , , , | Right | June 23, 2017

Customer: *dropping off film* “How long will this take?”

Me: “About an hour.”

Customer: “I’m in a hurry; can you make it 20 minutes?”

Me: “It takes at least 40 minutes to develop and print film, and that’s if I have nothing else going on.”

Customer: “So it can’t be done in 20 minutes?”

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