Keeping Communists In Check

, , , , , | Right | December 6, 2017

(A man hands me a tax check for $3,000 and asks to cash it all. Because of tax season, we are required to put a $25 fee on tax checks, due to the large amount of money we have coming in and out daily.)

Me: “Sir, to cash this I do have to charge you a fee of $25; however, it is free to deposit it, and you can access it from your debit card if you would like.”

Elderly Man: “You know, I didn’t just get on the boat and come up from Cuba. I’ve had my green card since I hit age 16. You d*** commies are always finding ways to take my money. I’m a resident of the USA, and I demand my check be cashed for free.”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m sorry, but we charge that fee because we have to express-order money, and we must pay a fee to do that. So, the $25 we charge you goes into making sure we have enough money in the building to cover checks like these.”

Elderly Man: “I ain’t paying no f****** fee! I’ll go to [Popular Retail Location]!”

Me: “Good luck, sir.”

(He comes back an hour later.)

Elderly Man: “Just cash the d*** check and take your fee!”

Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

Elderly Man: “F*****g commie.”

Time For Everyone To Go Home

, , , , , | Right | November 23, 2017

(One afternoon I am doing a bit of cleaning around the fast food restaurant where I work, getting ready for my shift to end, when a really weird customer comes up to the counter. He seems like he is drunk, or possibly high, and isn’t making much sense. My manager goes over to help him.)

Customer: “Phone?”

(My manager looks at him, confused. She has to talk to him a bit before she eventually figures out that the customer wants to use our company phone to call for a taxi to take him home. My manager eventually agrees to this and calls a cab company. However, when I get off my shift some time later, I find out that the taxi never arrived for some reason. I brush this off, clock out of work, and walk out to my car alone when I hear a voice behind me.)

Customer: “Hey, mister? Ten dollars.”

(I’m a woman, and I think this guy is about to mug me.)

Me: “Uh, sorry. I don’t have ten dollars.”

Customer: “No. I’ll give you ten dollars if you drive me to my house.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Customer: “Twenty dollars.”

Me: “No.”

(The customer wanders back to the restaurant. I get in my car and am about to drive away when, suddenly, the tiny parking lot becomes packed with cars and I am trapped in the middle of it. I wait for the traffic jam to clear. Then I hear someone banging on my passenger side window. I nearly jump out of my skin and look over to see it is the drunk guy pounding on my door.)

Customer: “Please take me home.”

Me: “NO!”

(As soon as the parking lot cleared up, I raced home as fast as I possibly could.)

That’s Been Gar-Licked

, , , , | Working | November 21, 2017

(We’re on vacation, and we stop at a craft fair. A woman is demonstrating a device that can make, among other things, potato chips.)

Woman: “We’re gonna season the potatoes now, with a little garlic powder, a little onion powder, and a little salt.” *she starts with the garlic powder* “Now, y’all don’t wanna use too much garlic—”

(As she says this, the top of the garlic jar pops off, and a bunch of garlic powder gets dumped into the pot, and everyone laughs.)

Woman: *slightly embarrassed* “Ah, that’s okay. Y’all eat it, anyway.”

What A Female Dog!

, , , , , , , , | Learning | November 21, 2017

I went to a Catholic school, and in sixth and seventh grade I had a religion teacher who was nice enough, but a bit strict when it came to religious beliefs. One day, she told us a story about a young student whose dog had died the previous night. He told her about it while crying, and ended it by saying, “At least I’ll see him in Heaven.”

Her response? “Dogs don’t go to Heaven. Heaven is only for those with souls, and animals don’t have souls.” Cue a renewed bout of crying.

She told us this story to highlight the idea that his parents should have told him the truth, rather than let him falsely believe something that wasn’t true. Even then, I found it a bit cruel to tell a grieving eight-year-old that they’ll never see their beloved pet again, and I found it difficult to believe that animals have no souls. Today, I attribute a lot of my experiences at that school to my current semi-agnostic stance on religion.

Unfiltered Story #100570

, , | Unfiltered | November 20, 2017

(I work at the customer service desk of a home improvement store. A customer has come up with her receipt, saying that she left a bag with seed packets at a register. I remember this customer calling earlier and speaking with a coworker, so I decide to help her out. I walk with the customer to the register she was at and we find the bag. After that, she stays to buy something else, and I return to the desk.)

Me: *to other coworker* “I’m back, and I took care of my customer.”

Coworker: “That’s good!”

Me: “And since she didn’t come back with me, I really “took care of her.””

(My coworker and the customer she was working with get wide-eyed and laugh.)

Page 1/912345...Last
Next »