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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 104

, , , , , , | Right | September 13, 2021

I work for the call center of my local credit union.

Member: “I have a problem with your app. I’m trying to do a mobile deposit, and it’s not letting me do cash.”

Me: “That is correct?!”

Member: “Why isn’t it letting me deposit cash? I’m taking a picture of the front and back of the bills.”

Me: “Because it’s cash. We have no way to prove that you wouldn’t just spend that cash. You can take your deposit to an ATM, a branch, or a shared branch to make your deposit, but you can only deposit checks through the app.

Member: “I can’t make it to any of those places any time soon. What if I submit a video of me burning the cash after I do the deposit? That way you’ll know for sure I’m not trying to scam you!”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 103
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 102
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 101
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 100
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 99

Time To Memorize 10,000 Barcodes!

, , , | Right | September 12, 2021

I am a personal shopper at a major national supermarket chain. I have never worked in any other department of the store, nor have I been trained in how to do the jobs of other departments.

On slow days, I am sometimes asked to help out in other areas of the store, but that typically only involves stocking shelves with items that department’s staff has already pulled from the back. I don’t have to search for the items in the back myself. We do carry handheld computer devices that can scan barcodes to tell us the price, aisle location, and backroom location of products, but we have to have a physical product or price tag so we have a barcode to scan!

I am heading over to Lawn and Garden to assist with stocking when a customer flags me over to an aisle of kitchen appliances.

Customer: “Can you check some prices for me?”

Me: “Sure!”

The customer points at three display models of air fryers.

Customer: “I’d like to know the prices of these.”

I look at the shelves below and find boxes for two out of the three air fryers. The boxes are so large they hang over the edge of the shelf, hiding the price tag underneath. All I have to do is lift the boxes up and read the prices for these two.

Me: “The larger one is $119 and the smaller one is $79.”

Customer: “And what about the third one?”

I look on each shelf. The third air fryer is not on any of them. I quickly search the entire aisle to see if it was stocked in the wrong place. Nope. I look for a price tag for it, but none of the stickers on the shelves match the display model. I even check the top-stock shelf on top. The air fryer is not there. There is no barcode on the display model’s description placard either. There is nothing for me to scan to determine the price.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t think I can price-check this one for you. It seems like this air fryer wasn’t stocked.”

Customer: “Can’t you just go get one out of the back? I really want to know the price of this one.”

Me: “The app I use to do price-checks is the same one that tells me where in the back it is. Without a barcode to scan, I won’t be able to find it.”

Customer: “You don’t just know where in the back it is?”

Me: “I don’t actually work in this department, so no, I do not know where in the back kitchen appliances are kept.”

Customer: “Is there an employee who does work in this department?”

Me: “Only one was scheduled for today, but unfortunately, she went home sick.”

Customer: “Well, can I just take the display up to the cash registers and have them price-check it for me?”

Me: “No. It does not have a barcode to scan. Cashiers wouldn’t be able to price-check it either. Besides, you cannot move a display model. I can maybe find a manager for you? They would know where the air fryers are kept.”

Customer: “Does [Store] employ any competent employees? That’s the problem with you people. You’re all too lazy and just want management to do the jobs you don’t want to!”

Me: “I am sorry, but I am a personal shopper. I shop for items already on the sales floor, not in the back. That is my job. Now if you’ll let me, I’ll find someone who can help you.”

Customer: “You do that, and I’ll be sure to tell your manager that you were lazy and no help at all!”

I found a manager and told them what happened, and they just shrugged it off before going to help the customer. I wish I could say this was rare, but in the past month, I have been yelled at by customers for not mixing paint, cutting fabric, selling hunting licenses, or opening cash registers — none of which are my actual job. They think every single employee is trained how to do every single job, and we are not, but if we try to explain that, it is our fault and we are what’s wrong with the world these days!

We Don’t Think The Tube Extends That Far

, , , , | Right | September 1, 2021

I work at a bus station in Indiana and sell tickets for cross-country travel. I have gotten some weird questions from drunk people, but this might be the best.

Customer: *Slurring* “Can you tell me which bus would get me to London?”

Me: “I’m sorry, where do you want to go?”

Customer: “London, England. Which bus I gotta take?”

Me: “You know England is on an island, right?”

An Infinite Amount Would Never Be Enough

, , , | Right | August 29, 2021

I’m a patron of the local library, sitting outside using the Wi-Fi because the library is closed. A lady comes up to me.

Lady: “Do you know where the doorbell is?

Me: “By the three large signs that say, ‘Doorbell.’”

Okay, Maybe TV Makes SOME People Stupid

, , , , , , | Right | August 18, 2021

I am in rural Indiana (where I do not live) for a family reunion. There are many people there and not enough groceries, so I end up being the one to pick up a few gallons of milk at a local convenience store. As I am checking out, an older woman comes up to me and starts to make small talk. Normally, this would bother me, but I decide to be polite. The very awkward conversation goes as follows.

Customer: “I’m sorry, hun, but could you try a different accent?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Ooh! Maybe you could do a Southern accent. Those are very charming.”

Me: “I don’t understand.”

Customer: “Well, I find the New Jersey accent you seem to be doing to be very off-putting. It’s aggressive, and honestly, not a very good impression.”

Me: *Very tired and slightly offended* “Not a good impression? What the heck are you talking about?”

She’s obviously very religious, so I don’t want to push her over the edge by saying, “h***.”

Customer: *Very condescendingly* “Well, of course, I know that New Jersey accents were made up by TV to make things more dramatic and such, but that still wasn’t very convincing! It was far too strong. Now, why don’t you try something else?”

I was very confused, so I just paid for the milk without responding — the cashier was barely able to keep from laughing — and walked back to my car, which had a very obvious New Jersey license plate, talking to myself in my 100% real New Jersey accent, and trying to figure out what she meant by “made up by TV”.