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Sick Of Waiting

, , , , , , , | Right | June 4, 2010

(A woman is several places back in line with her son who is about eight years old.)

Customer’s Son: “Mom? I don’t feel good.”

Customer: “Hang on, honey. Mommy is going to get her coffee and then she will take you to the restroom.”

Customer’s Son: “Mom? I feel really sick.”

(I look up and see the boy is very pale and breathing heavy.)

Me: “Ma’am? If you would like to take your son to the restroom, we will save your place in line.”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. We will wait.”

Customer’s Son: “Mom. I really need the bathroom. I don’t feel good.”

Customer: “Honey, just wait. We’ll be done in a few minutes.”

Manager: “Ma’am, please take your son to the restroom. We’ll make your drink while you are in there. On the house. Please!”

Customer: “No! He will have to wait.”

(The customer’s son begins to gag and the customers near him move away from, all of them begging her to take him to the restroom immediately. A few even offer to take him themselves.)

Customer: “I said no! He is just doing this for attention. If you ignore him he will stop.”

Me: “Ma’am, for the last time. Please take your son to the–”

(The customer’s son bends over and begins vomiting on the floor.)

Manager: “Please! Get him out of here!”

Customer: “But I don’t want to lose my place in line.”

Manager: “Ma’am, either get him to the restroom or get him outside. Now!”

Customer: *in a huff* “Well, fine! He’s only doing this for attention!”

(The customer comes out five minutes later leading her fully-recovered son by the hand. As I finish mopping the boy’s breakfast off the floor, she collects her free coffee drink, smiles, and leaves, calling out…)

Customer: “Thank you very much. See you all tomorrow!”


This story is part of our Terrible Parents roundup!

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A Poser By Any Other Name

, , , , | Right | May 28, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me… how much is this?”

Me: “$24.99.”

Customer: “But the sign says it’s $19.99! Ha! So you have to give it to me for that!”

Me: “Ma’am, the sign says $19.99 and up.”

Customer: “But it’s the law!”

Me: “Ma’am, I assure you, it is $24.99.”

Customer: “Well, I’m a lawyer, and it’s the law!”

Me: “You’re not a lawyer, are you?”

Customer: “No. How did you know that?”

Me: “There is no such law.”

Customer: “You’re too smart. I just thought I’d try to scare you into changing the price.”


This story is part of our Customers Caught Lying roundup!

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Read the Customers Caught Lying roundup!

When Your Number Is Up

, , , , | Right | May 19, 2010

Customer: “Hi, I’m here for the immunization clinic.”

Me: “Sir, this is a bingo hall.”

Customer: “You’re mistaken. The people at the hospital told me to come here.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, this is a bingo hall. I don’t know why they would tell you to come here.”

Customer: “What are those people doing here then?” *points at the people playing bingo*

Me: “They’re playing bingo, sir.”

Customer: “You’re lying to me! You just want me to die!”

Some Customers You Just Have To Let Slide

, , , , , , | Right | May 14, 2010

Me: “Good afternoon, this is [Cellphone Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I came into your store today and you sold me a defective phone!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What is your full name and phone number so I can pull up your account?”

Customer: *gives information*

Me: “Okay, thanks. I see you bought a [phone]. What seems to be the problem?

Customer: “The keyboard on this piece of s*** won’t come out!”

Me: “Have you tried sliding it the other way?”

*really long pause*

Customer: “Well thanks a lot, b****! Now you made me feel like a f****** idiot!” *click*


This story is part of the American States roundup!

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The Twelve (Billion) Days Of Christmas

, , , | Right | May 6, 2010

(This takes place on Christmas Eve.)

Customer: “What’s this about you guys closing tomorrow?”

Me: “Yes, we are closed for Christmas day so we can have time with our families.”

Customer: “But if you’re closed, then what am I supposed to feed my family with!? You guys are supposed to be open all the time!”

Me: “But what about our families? Can’t we spend time with them?”

Customer: “No, because you’re supposed to be here working and serving us food!”


This story is part of the Christmas Eve roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

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Read the next Christmas Eve roundup story!

Read the Christmas Eve roundup!