Ask Me Questions, I Tell You Lies

, , | Right | January 14, 2010

(A customer brings in a 20-year-old pool cleaner.)

Customer: “I need you to wet-test this for me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t offer that service. If you like, we can check it in, and bench test it.”

Customer: “Fine, but I wanna watch what you’re doing. I just had it in here last week, and it’s broken again!”

Me: “Do you remember who worked on it?”

Customer: “It was that kid with all those tattoos”

(One of our employees has a small tattoo on his arm. While he flips out, I find the problem: a part was put in up-side-down.)

Me: “You sure [Name] worked on this?”

Customer: “Yes! I knew he would mess it up!”

Me: “Well, here is your problem. This part was upside down. Did you install this yourself?

Customer: “Yes, I bought it here last week! And your guys came to my house last week; he cut off all my pipes, and he ruined my equipment!”

Me: “Sir, the last service done at your house was three months ago… a filter clean.”

Customer: “You’re not helpful at all!” *leaves*

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