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Can They Haggle? No Or No?, Part 3

, , , , , , | Right | March 30, 2022

We’re a small electronic store. The customer is a semi-regular known for always trying to haggle despite our prices being firm and him being reminded of that every single time he comes in. I personally had to deal with him quite a few times, so it comes as a relief when the owner decides to handle him this time around.

Customer: *Chooses a cheap flip phone* “How much is this one?”

Owner: “$40.”

Customer: “Is that with the discount?”

Owner: “I’m sorry, there is no discount on this model.”

Customer: “Last time there was a discount.”

Owner: “When was that last time?”

Customer: “You know, last time.”

Owner: “Well, I don’t recall this model ever being on discount, sorry.”

Customer: “What was the price, again?”

Owner: “$40.”

Customer: “$30?”

Owner: “No, sir, $40.”

Customer: “$35?”

Owner: “Our prices are firm, sir.”

Customer: “Come on! It’s a cheap phone. Can’t you do a better price on it?”

Owner: “Fine, $50.”

Customer: “I said a better price!”

Owner: “It’s better for me; I get to keep the difference!”

The customer stormed out.

Related:
Can They Haggle? No Or No?, Part 2
Can They Haggle? No Or No?

Wish These Sovereign Citizens Would Just Hush, Hush

, , , , , | Right | March 5, 2022

I work at a bookstore. One day, I am shelving some books when a woman comes over with the first book in the “Hush, Hush” saga.

Customer: “What’s this book about?”

Me: “Oh, that’s a good series. It has fallen angels in it, and—”

Customer:Fallen angels?! Ick!”

She then throws the book down and stomps on it. She continues to stomp on it until the cover is torn, making it unsellable.

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, you have to pay for that now.”

Customer: “What?! No! I refuse to pay for the devil’s work!”

Me: “But you destroyed the cover. See here—”

Customer: “You can’t prove that was me! Besides, no one would buy it anyway!”

Me: “Actually, it’s a very popular—”

Customer: “Shut up! Just shut up! I’m not paying for that!”

Boss: “Ma’am, please pay for the book you just destroyed, or I’ll be forced to call the police.”

Customer: “I’m a sovereign citizen! I don’t have to follow your laws!”

She then storms out, knocking a few more books off the shelves. My boss sighs and picks up the book.

Boss: “Well, that book’s pretty much ruined now. I’ll have to damage it out. It sucks to get rid of perfectly good books.”

Me: “You know, I read somewhere that some garbage men started a library for books that people just throw away…”

A week later, we had a stack of books by the counter saying, “Slightly Damaged Books: Half Price”. Guess what was the first book bought from that pile?

Getting Tips Requires The Luck Of The Irish

, , , | Right | February 16, 2022

I work at a sandwich shop in the USA. Basically, my job is to wipe down tables and take care of any trash that’s left out. One day, an older woman starts a conversation with me, and she asks these questions.

Customer: “Where are you from, dear?”

Me: “I’m from here.”

Customer: *Chuckles* “No, I mean, where were you born? Somewhere in France?”

Me: *Confused* “No, I was born in this city, at [Hospital]. I’m not French, either — mostly Irish and German.”

Customer: *Knowing smile* “Oh, so you must be from Ireland, then. How nice! Well, here’s a tip for you. I know it’s not much, but it should help you a little bit. If only they had cities like ours in Ireland; they would be much more modern. Well, goodbye, dear. See you tomorrow!”

She did come back the next day and told my manager that I was from Ireland and she’d better treat me right. My manager said she’d keep that in mind and then laughed when the customer left. The woman also gave me another five-dollar tip.

With Spider-Man, It’s Always Down To The Wire

, , , , , | Working | December 29, 2021

I work in a big box store, and we have a manager dressed as Spider-Man walking around the store taking pictures with kids, etc., to raise awareness for our annual charity drive. I go into the back to get some security devices for some items that have been placed on the sales floor without them. I go to where they have been kept, but they aren’t there anymore.

Me: “Where is the spider wire?”

Spider-Man is back there and points to where it is now.

Me: “Thanks, Spider-Man. I knew you’d know where the spider wire is.”

This Clerk Went From Crabby To Crappy

, , , , , | Working | December 21, 2021

In Kansas, you have to be eighteen to smoke and twenty-one to drink and gamble. I’m nineteen, but I look about sixteen, and this causes some confusion, but it’s never been a problem until this happened.

Me: *Going up to the counter* “Can I have some [Cigarettes], please? Here’s my ID.”

Clerk: “This isn’t you.”

Me: “What? Yes, it is. My hair’s shorter, and I’m wearing makeup in the picture, but it’s definitely me.”

Clerk: *Scoffs* “I know your kind. You come in, thinking you can scam us out of cigarettes and booze. Well, I’m not buying it. And I’m going to have to confiscate this.” 

Me: “You can’t keep that! Civilians are not allowed to keep IDs, even fake ones.”

Clerk: “You’re lucky I don’t just turn this over to the police. I’m going to destroy this thing right now.”

To my horror, she sticks my ID in the shredder behind her. I’m furious and upset, and I shout for the owner, who happens to be a friend of my mom. 

Owner: “Hey, [My Name]. What happened? You’re crying!”

Me: “She destroyed my ID!”

Owner: *To the clerk* “What?! You don’t have a right to do that! Go get your stuff; you’re fired. I’m so sorry, [My Name]. I’ll get your cigarettes for you.” 

The clerk tried to apologize and say she was doing him a favor, but he was having none of it and told her he’d file a police report on her later. Then, the clerk gave me a look to kill and stormed out with her purse. The owner of the gas station helped me get a new ID and did file a police report with the local police.

Unfortunately, the clerk did not take too well to being fired. She keyed my car, went to the bathroom on my mom’s front lawn, and tried to lure our dog out in traffic. I filed a restraining order, and my mom’s friend provided the tape to the court. The judge was not impressed by the clerk’s behavior, told her to stay away from me, and sentenced her to community service and a month in jail for defecating on my lawn.