Counseling Is Not Their Calling

, , , , | Right | February 9, 2018

(I’m the scheduler and operator for a counseling office.)

Me: *answering phone* “Good afternoon. This is [Counseling Office], [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Uh… Who is this?”

Me: “[My Name] with [Counseling Office]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Um. What is this place?”

Me: “We’re a counseling office.”

(I was thinking, “Shouldn’t you know, since YOU called US?”)

Needs To Address How To Impart Information

, , , , | Right | February 7, 2018

(I’m the scheduler and operator for a counseling office.)

Me: *finishing up scheduling their appointment* “Okay, you’re all set. And do you know where we’re located?”

Caller: “Oh, no. I don’t.”

Me: “All right. Our address is—”

Caller: “Wait, I’m driving and I can’t write this down. Could you text it to me or something?”

(I can’t help thinking, “Why are you calling to schedule appointments when you’re DRIVING?!”)

Me: “Certainly. Is the number you gave me a good number to text it to?”

Caller: “No, that was my home and work number. Hold on. I don’t remember my cell phone number.”

Unfiltered Story #104555

, , , | Unfiltered | January 29, 2018

(The customer I have been helping and checking out has been having a rough day and is getting confused pretty easily due to lack of sleep/energy, so I slow down to keep her from getting too confused. I also talk with her, as is part of my job. Once she leaves and before I could even ask how the next customer is doing:)

Customer: “Could you hurry it up? You spend more time talking than checking people out.”

(This guy came in a few weeks previous to buy the exact same thing and said the exact same thing the last time. I begin silently fuming and quickly check out his groceries without speaking or looking at him. I do it in less than a minute and go to the total screen, where we wait for nearly twenty seconds as he stands there looking at the computer screen.)

Me: “It’s asking you another question on the pin pad.”

Customer: “Oh, goodness! Here I am getting after you for going too slow while I’m standing here like an ignoramus!”

Me: *hands him the receipt* “Have a good day.”

Noobishness That Makes You See Red(Mage)

, , , | Working | January 24, 2018

(We have a reporting mechanism for lost and stolen equipment, and employees are required to report lost equipment. One employee fills out a form for a stolen phone. When getting to the question asking about the surrounding circumstances of the theft, the employee states on the form that he was involved in a melee. Here’s a paraphrased excerpt from our internal incident response discussion:)

Supervisor: “Were there weapons involved in the melee?”

Tech #1: “It wasn’t stated in the report.”

Supervisor: “Need to know what level the characters were, what skill tree, and what weapons were involved. Were there any legendary items at all?”

Tech #2: “I’ll bet they were trying to use a freaking mage as a melee character.”

Tech #1: “Thief used boots of escaping, no purple runes on bedazzled phone. Subject was pwn’d by a level-13 rogue. What a noob.”

Karma Offers Cash Back

, , , , , | Right | January 17, 2018

(A customer is checking out at a self-checkout. She is about to leave when the attendant notices that she didn’t ring up a pair of shoes.)

Attendant: “Ma’am, you’re going to have to pay for those shoes.”

(The woman runs out with her items, leaving behind her $40 cash back. The attendant then tells the manager. The customer calls saying she accidentally left her $40 cash back at the register, and is transferred to the manager.)

Manager: “I can’t help you over the phone. You’ll need to come in and get it.”

Caller: “Can I send my son in?”

Manager: “No, we don’t know who your son is or what he looks like. You’ll have to come in yourself and get it.”

Voice: *in the background of the call* “I guess you’re never getting your money back.”

(The kicker? The shoes she stole were only about $15.)

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