Milking The Truth A Little

, , , | Right | May 5, 2021

A woman walks into our Mexican fast food place.

Customer: “I’ll have a bowl. I’m vegetarian.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of rice and beans? Would you like queso or fajitas?”

Customer: “Oh, my God, no! I told you I’m vegetarian! I don’t eat cheese!”

Me: “I’m sorry. So, you are vegan. Okay.”

I continue on to the salsas.

Customer: “I just can’t stand the idea of killing those poor baby cows for the milk!”

Me: “I’m sorry… What?”

Customer: “I don’t believe in killing the baby cow for the milk!”

Me: “Um… they don’t kill the calf for the milk. Once the baby drinks its fill, the rancher takes the cow in and extracts the rest of the milk so the cow can produce more. Cows make more milk than the baby needs.”

Customer: “Wait… so the baby cow can stay alive? They don’t kill them?”

Me: “Exactly! Same with eggs. The ones we eat don’t have chicks in them.”

Customer: “Is any of your meat from baby animals?”

I told her no, it’s all from adults, so she ordered chicken in her bowl and extra queso.

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How Responsible!

, , , , , , | Working | April 26, 2021

My coworker is passing by a manager.

Coworker: “Hi.”

Manager: “Did you just ask if I was high?”

Coworker: “No, I said, ‘Hi.’”

Manager: “Well, never at work.”

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God Help You If He Finds Pickles

, , , , | Right | April 26, 2021

A customer who has been through the drive-thru comes inside and yells at me.

Customer: “I had pickles in my meal, and I said no pickles!”

My manager is also my sister; she comes to talk to him.

Customer: “You again?! I wanted to talk to a manager!”

He thinks we were the same person.

Sister: “I’m a manager, and I’ll fix your problem for you.”

She got him a brand-new meal, fries and all. The man was not happy. He took the old sandwich out of the package and threw it onto the counter. He took the extra fries my sister had given him and threw them at us, too!

After that, he walked out, mumbling about how he wouldn’t come back.

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They Seriously Have Nothing Else To Argue About?

, , , | Right | April 21, 2021

I look younger than I actually am. I’ve just gotten off work, and my makeup is smeared because it’s a hot day. A man comes up to me.

Man: “Excuse me, ma’am, my partner and I were just having a disagreement about how old you are. She says you’re thirty-five; I think you’re sixteen.”

Me: “I’m nineteen.”

Man: “Oh, okay.” *To his wife* “We were both wrong.”

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Rated R You Serious?, Part 4

, , , , | Right | April 20, 2021

I work at a store that sells used DVDs, CDs, and video games.

Customer: “Excuse me, young lady, is this movie good for a ten-year-old?”

I look at the cover; it’s the movie “Heavy Metal 2000.”

Me: “I wouldn’t recommend it. There’s female nudity, a sex scene, lots of blood and death, a scene where a reptilian’s flesh is burned away by acidic lava, scantily-clad women, a lot of loud cursing…”

Customer: “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

Rated R You Serious?, Part 3
Rated R You Serious?, Part 2
Rated R You Serious?

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