It’s Hiding In The Back Along With All The Animals

, , , , , | Right | July 24, 2021

I work in the gift shop of a theme park and open farm. The business is connected to a working farm, and when I was a kid, there used to be a farm shop selling produce, etc. This disappeared years ago; by the time I started working there, it had been closed for four years. Two years into my employment, a customer comes in.

Customer: “Hello, I’m looking for the farm shop. Has it moved?”

Me: *Brightly but apologetically* “I’m really sorry, madam, but I’m afraid the farm shop actually closed about six years ago. We still sell local honey and a few other things in here.” *Gestures*

Customer: *Suddenly affronted* “But I was in there last year! Why has it closed?!”

Me: “I’m afraid it would have been longer than that. I can only assume it wasn’t profitable.”

The customer just blinks at me and walks out, grumbling that it must have closed recently. My manager overhears the conversation, and after the lady has left, turns to me.

Manager: “Does she think we’re hiding it somewhere?”

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This. Is. TERRIFYING.

, , , , , , | Learning | July 24, 2021

I attended elementary school — kindergarten through fifth grade — from the early to mid-1990s. Every year for Halloween, and the three days leading up to it, our entire school became a haunted house. The ticket sales went to various other school programs and activities. This being an elementary school, you might think it was more of a kid-friendly haunted house. Nope, it was an actual haunted house. The different rooms didn’t change much, but it was pretty gruesome and people really got into it. A lot of parents would help out and the high school even gave extra credit to the students who volunteered to help. Considering how conservative the little town we lived in was at the time, I’m surprised they were even allowed to start this, let alone keep it going for nearly twenty years.

The final scare at the end of the haunted house happened when you reached the cafeteria. A man, usually one of the coaches from the high school, popped out in a Jason mask while revving a real chainsaw (with the saw chain removed) and chased you through a wooden maze that had been built in the cafeteria.

By my fifth grade year, my friends and I weren’t really scared by the haunted house anymore, since most of the scares were the same every year. We were part of the first group to go through and were mostly giggling and goofing around. We made it to the cafeteria, but we weren’t sure when or where Jason would pop out.

We made it nearly to the end of the maze when Jason appeared, revving his chainsaw. The people at the front of our group screamed and ran out the door to the school lobby. One of my friends thought he’d be funny and decided to dart through Jason’s legs on his way out. Jason lurched back, sending the chainsaw over his head and into one of the maze walls. We all froze when we heard the sound of wood splitting and the chainsaw choking as it got stuck.

A teacher who’d been monitoring the area came running in and turned the lights on. There, stuck in the maze wall, was a chainsaw that most definitely still had the blades on. Coach Jason had forgotten to take the chain off.

The teacher herded us out of there while Jason tried to get the chainsaw free. They shut the haunted house down for about an hour while all the teachers met and talked about what to do. Different volunteers dressed as monsters, zombies, etc., switched in and out of the cafeteria for the rest of that Halloween season. They kept doing the haunted house for several years after I graduated on to middle school, but they never had Jason back again.

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Ignoring The Order Causes Disorder

, , , | Right | July 22, 2021

We are inside a popular fast food restaurant, inside a motorway services. Despite it being lunchtime, we are only second in line to order.

We hear the guy in front of us order a coffee and a burger. He moves to one side, and I order three meals — all with soft drinks — and a kids’ boxed meal.

Both orders start to be put on trays, and we wait for a while, and then a while longer.  

Eventually, I see my order getting filled. They put the bright kids’ meal box on the tray, one of the adult meals, and two large sodas.

At this point, the guy from earlier approaches the till, moves my tray, and picks up my soda. He goes to take the lid off when I stop him.

Me: “Err, that’s my order.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “I said that’s my order. Can you not touch it, please?!”

Customer: “I ordered first!”

Me: “You ordered a coffee and burger. That is clearly a soda and a kids’ meal.”

He looks at me like I have three heads.

Customer: “What?”

Worker: “Excuse me, sir? Your order is here.”

She has his tray now ready in her hands.

Customer: “Oh. How was I supposed to know?”

He wanders off.

Worker: “I am so sorry, did he… disturb your food?”

Me: “No, I think I stopped him in time. Does that happen often?”

Worker: “Yeah, it’s scary how many people are driving around that tired.”

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You’ve Paid With Shame

, , , | Right | July 22, 2021

Not long ago, I discovered that I had a flat tyre, so I got up early the next day and took my car to a reputable local tyre repair centre. I was the first customer of the day, so one of the techs got to work immediately.

Thirty minutes later, the woman in reception told me that the car was ready, and, delighted, I went into the workshop to see the tech.

Tech: “I was able to repair the tyre, so you won’t need a new one.”

I was really pleased about this — so much so that my mind must have been in another place. I jumped in the car and reversed out of the workshop. As I did so, the woman from reception appeared, looking like she wanted to speak to me.

I wound the window down.

Receptionist: “You know you haven’t paid?”

I was embarrassed that I’d forgotten, but instead of admitting that I’d forgotten, I bluffed it. 

Me: “Yeah, I know. I’m just backing out of here to free up the bay. I’ll be in in a second!”

She seemed satisfied, so I parked the car and went into reception.

Me: “I didn’t want to be blocking your bay for other customers.”

I paid for the tyre repair — only about £12 — and left, still horribly embarrassed. I was so embarrassed that when I got home I looked up the place on Facebook and left them a glowing review, just to make myself feel better.

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Enjoying The Unexpected Fruits Of Their Labor

, , , | Right | July 21, 2021

I’m a customer at a popular coffee shop. The drink I ordered is iced, comes in a clear plastic cup, and is dark pink in color. As soon as they call my name and the name of my drink, a man walks up and grabs it. I start to tell him it’s my order, but he takes a sip before I can say anything.

Customer: *Confused* “My latte is cold. Really cold. And it tastes fruity.”

Barista: “Uh, sir, that’s not a latte.” *Gestures to me* “And it’s actually hers.”

Customer: “Oh, I like it. It’s really good. I just didn’t expect it to be fruity.”

Barista: “Sir, that’s not yours. I have your latte right here.”

The man just walks away with my drink, muttering, “It’s fruity.” The barista and I just stare after him, dumbstruck.

Barista: *To me* “I’ll… make you a new drink.”

She offered to give me the latte, too, since she’d already made it and the man had paid for it anyway. I don’t drink coffee, so I told her to keep it. I offered to pay for the new drink, but she wouldn’t let me. I put a few extra dollars in the tip jar, instead.

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