The Signs Floated Away

, , | Working | November 5, 2019

(I work at a flower shop inside a grocery store. We do balloons as well as flowers, but right now we’re out of helium. My coworker puts three signs around the floral department to let customers know we’re out, and big “EMPTY” signs on the two empty tanks waiting for pickup.)

Me: “Just wait; a customer is going to get mad and tell us we should have a sign.”

Coworker: “I’m going to get a lot of satisfaction pointing these out to them.”

(Fast forward to later, after the department has closed and all of us have gone home. One of the MANAGERS of the grocery store calls my boss at home at 8:30 on a Sunday night, and this conversation takes place.)

Grocery Manager: “Are you guys out of helium?”

Boss: “Yes, we’re out.”

Grocery Manager: “You should have a sign up.”

Boss: “We have five of them.”

Grocery Manager: “Oh. I didn’t even look.”

(For once, I guess it wasn’t customers we had to worry about!)

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It’s Definitely Decaf!

, , , , , , | Working | November 4, 2019

I order a coffee drink from a well-known coffee shop via their mobile app so I can pick it up on my way to work. I’m mildly lactose intolerant so I order all my drinks with coconut milk. When I arrive to collect my drink, I notice they put whipped cream on top. The whipped cream isn’t enough to bother me, but in my experience, they don’t usually put whip cream on dairy-free orders.

I flag down a barista to make sure my drink was made with coconut milk. He examines the drink, and says he believes he made it with regular milk and will remake it. At this point, I’m already running late for work, so when he hands me the remade drink, I grab it, thank him, and rush out the door without paying much attention to it.

When I finally get to work, I look at my drink and notice it’s a very light color. I take a sip and realize that they didn’t put any coffee in my coffee drink. It’s nothing but milk and syrup. Luckily, I am able to run to a different store on my lunch break and get it replaced, but how do you forget to put coffee in a coffee drink?

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I Knew There Was Something Fishy About That Wall

, , , | Right | November 4, 2019

Customer: “Are your fish over there?” *pointing to the dog toy aisle*

Me: “No, sir. The fish are under the giant sign that says fish… where the huge wall of fish is.”

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First Book She Should Get Is “How To Tell The Time”

, , , , | Right | November 3, 2019

(I work at a dental clinic inside a school. I stroll in at 8:30 and there’s a lady sitting in our lobby. She’s looking at the bookstore/cafe. She starts circling the chairs, sighing heavily. Finally, she marches up to me.)

Customer: *snarling* “The website says the bookstore is open at 8:30!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s actually 9:00 am; the times are listed on the door.”

Customer: “But I came here at 8:30! The website said 8:30! Why isn’t it open at 8:30?!”

(I am thinking, “Why are you yelling at the dental clinic about the bookstore?”)

Me: “I have no control over that; you can talk to the people at the bookstore when it opens.”

Customer: “They saw me! They should open the doors! I just want to look at the books!”

(I had no answer for her. Finally, she huffed off. She then started pacing back and forth in front of the door, waiting for them to open. Now and then she’d circle the chairs, sigh, and glare at me. I went into the file room when it became too much. It’s just a college bookstore, lady. No need to get so intense! I just checked the website: it says they open at 9:00 am.)

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Some Security Staff Are Not The Sharpest

, , , , , , | Working | November 2, 2019

I am traveling via plane to Seattle one morning for an appointment and coming back later the same day. All I’m carrying with me is a computer shoulder bag. As I go through the TSA checkpoint, I put my pocket clutter into the basket, thinking nothing of the tiny Swiss Army “gentleman’s knife.” The woman behind the counter informs me she’s confiscating it. I protest that’s it’s in guidelines as a less-than-2.3-inch blade. She says I can leave it or stay with it, my choice.

The trip goes quickly; I get my business done and come back, passing through SeaTac TSA with no problems.

A few weeks later, I’m cleaning out that computer bag and in a bottom pocket, I discover a four-inch Leatherman SuperTool multi-tool I’d forgotten about. It went through TSA detectors twice. That’s 4.5 inches long and weighs over nine ounces, and is clearly forbidden, while they confiscated my tiny knife…

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