California Roll: The New Pineapple

, , , , | Right | June 18, 2018

(I am waiting for a large sushi party tray at a sushi takeout place, when I overhear the following exchange between a customer and the cashier.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up my order; my wife called earlier today. It’s under [Customer’s Wife].”

Cashier: *looks through papers* “I’m sorry, I can’t find anything under that name. The Wi-Fi was down earlier. Maybe it got lost somehow?”

Customer: “But my wife said she spoke to you earlier!” *takes out cell phone and dials a number* “Here, talk to her yourself.” *hands the phone to the cashier*

Cashier: *on phone* “Hello?” *pause* “I’m sorry, but I don’t remember any call.” *pause* “Are you sure?” *pause* “I’m sorry. Thank you.” *hangs up and hands phone back to man* “We have another location in [Other City]; maybe she called there by mistake?”

(The cashier is still trying to be polite and nice, even though she’s getting visibly flustered at how annoyed the customer is looking.)

Customer: “Well, can you take my order now?”

Cashier: “Sure, we can make it now, if you don’t mind waiting. What would you like?”

Customer: “Okay. I’d like three large cheese.”

Cashier: *clearly confused as to what cheese sushi he could possibly be referring to* “Cheese?”

Customer: “Yes. Three large cheese pizzas and one medium pepperoni.”

(The cashier, the one other customer, and I all look at the man in shock.)

Cashier: “Pizza?! But this is a sushi place! We don’t make pizza!”

Customer: “But you just said you’d make it!” *getting more annoyed by the second*

Cashier: “But this a sushi store! We don’t have the ovens for pizza!”

Customer: “Why didn’t you say so earlier?!” *storms out the door*

Me: *looking around at the obvious sushi takeout place* “Why didn’t you realize that earlier?!”

The Jaws Of Defeat

, , , , | Healthy | June 18, 2018

(I just had jaw surgery, so I am in the hospital for a few days with a swollen face, and my jaw is wired shut. I really can’t speak. I wake up in the middle of the night. My sister is sleeping in the guest chair, but I can feel the pain easing in on my face, so I decide to hail the nurse using a button on the side of the bed. Instead of the nurse coming to see what I need, she proceeds to use the speaker attachment. You can probably see where this is going.)

Nurse: “Hello, honey, what do you need?”

Me: “…”

Nurse: “What do you need?”

Me: *internal screaming*

(They did eventually come.)

Wine-ding You Up

, , | Right | June 18, 2018

Customer: “I had this great wine at dinner the other night and I’d love to find it again!”

Me: “Okay, great! Do you remember what it’s called?”

Customer: *a bit embarrassed* “Oh, gosh, I don’t.”

Me: *unsurprised* “That’s okay; I’m sure we can find it or something like it! Do you remember what kind of wine it was?”

Customer: “Um…”

Me: “Like a Cabernet, or a Chardonnay, or…”

Customer: “Um…”

Me: *realizing I’m actually stressing them out instead of helping and figuring I’ll go back to basics* “Okay, no worries! Was it a white or a red?”

Customer: “You know, I’m not sure!”

Me: *completely stalled*

A Bad Case Of Not Scanning The Case

, , , , , , , , | Working | June 18, 2018

(I work at a large discount store. Apple sauce packets can be purchased either individually or by the box. I am buying a large, 24-count box, and have opened it while shopping so my child can eat one pouch as a snack. It is priced by the box, so I am paying the same amount whether one pouch is missing or not. I have folded the four flaps over each other to reclose it before checking out. The cashier then, inexplicably, reopens the box, dumps all the pouches out, and starts scanning them individually.)

Me: “Excuse me; those are sold by the box, not individually.”

Cashier: “Okay.” *continues to scan*

Me: “If you scan each one individually, it is going to take a lot longer, and—”

Cashier: *interrupts* “No, it’s fine. It will be fine.” *continues to scan*

Me: “Ma’am, I’d really rather you didn’t scan it that way, because—”

Cashier: *interrupts again* “It’s all the same. It’s fine doing it like this.”

(I’ve had enough at this point.)

Me: “Ma’am, please stop, and please let me speak. Those pouches are ringing up at $0.99 each. If you ring it up by the 24-count box, it is $13. By scanning each pouch individually, it will cost $24. Please put the pouches back in the box and start over.”

Cashier: “Well, I had no way of knowing that. Now we have to cancel it all, and it might take longer.”

Me: “Yes. I tried to stop you in the beginning, but you didn’t listen. For future reference, things are usually cheaper by the case.”

(Mistakes are no big deal. Everyone makes them. But the bad attitude was totally uncalled for.)

They’re About To Get A Chip Card On Their Shoulder

, , , , | Right | June 18, 2018

(The store I work at is one of the first in the area to get chip card readers. If the card has a chip, the card scanner won’t allow the customer to swipe. At this point, our store has had the chip card reader for about six months, and we’re still one of the only places to use it. The customer swipes his card and I hear the reader beep.)

Me: “Oh, you have a chip card! Just insert it in the bottom there and leave it until it tells you to take it out.”

Customer: *inserts his card* “You know, I really don’t like this new system. It’s much easier to just swipe.” *he takes his card back out*

Me: “Oh, you didn’t leave it in long enough. Try that again, and it’ll tell you when you can take it out.”

Customer: “Okay, fine.”

(He inserts his card again, and takes it out when the reader asks if he wants cash back.)

Customer: “This process takes too long.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you took your card out too early again. Try again, and it’ll tell you on the screen when you can take your card out, and it’ll beep obnoxiously.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous!” *puts card in and takes it out too early again*

Me: “That was still too early.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for this. Here.” *hands me a $100 bill*

Me: “All right, out of a hundred.” *I open my till to make change and notice another potential problem* “I’m out of tens and fives, so you’ll be getting a lot of ones. Is that okay?”

Customer: “Whatever! I just want to get out of here.”

(I had to bite my tongue about how if he had just listened to instructions, he’d be gone already.)

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