Cuteness Overload

, , , , , , | Learning | February 8, 2019

(One of my aunts is a high school teacher. One day, she wakes up with a bad case of butterfingers.)

Aunt: *after the third time dropping something in the same class* “It’s a good thing I’m cute!”

(Toward the end of class, she launches into a detailed explanation of what the next assignment is, when it’s due, and other fun details. When she finishes:)

Student #1: “Um, wait… What’s the assignment about?”

Aunt: *gives him a Mom Stare* “It’s a good thing you’re cute!”

Student #1: “What?”

Student #2: “I think she just called you stupid.”

Student #1: “Why?”

Didn’t Read The Sign Or The Signing

, , , , , | Right | February 7, 2019

(I’m a writer, currently promoting my first novel. One afternoon, I’m signing copies of the book in a DVD, record, and bookstore. The employees really did a great job; I’m sitting at a nice desk in the middle of the book section, with a large poster of my book cover AND my own picture right next to me, a kind of nameplate on the desk with my name and two dozen of copies of the book in front of me, and the whole corner surrounded by CRIME SCENE yellow tape. The bookstore reception desk is about two yards on my left, in plain sight of everybody who enters the store. I am wearing a purple fedora, so I’m certainly not dressed like a store employee. A middle-aged customer walks towards me, with his young son in tow. He begins speaking without smiling, and without saying, “Hello,” or, “Please.”)

Customer: “I want to buy a self-installation kit for [Internet service provider].”

Me: *a little taken aback by his rudeness* “Hi… I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not working here. Maybe you should ask—“

Customer: *cutting me off, in a huff* “What are you here for, then?”

Me: *staring at him, dumbfounded* “I’m here for a signing session.”

(I show him the poster and the books. He remains silent, glaring at me for about ten seconds, and walks away… without asking anything to the employees who are a few feet from him! But he says, while turning his back at me.)

Customer: *still disgruntled* “No harm done.”

(Sure. No harm done. But I truly don’t know what I did wrong there and why he felt obliged to be angry at me for his own simple mistake. Maybe he can’t read and was angry to admit it in front of his kid? Anyway, he’s now on my top list of stupid customers, tied with a lady who asked me, on a signing session in a megastore, where she could find the eggs, and was pissed at me when I said I didn’t know. I’m still regretting not having answered: inside a hen’s butt.)

A Deafening Mumble

, , , , | Right | February 6, 2019

Coworker: “That is [amount], please. Are you paying with cash or card?”

Customer: “What?”

Coworker: “Cash or card?”

Customer: “I can’t hear you.”

Coworker: *raising his voice* “Cash or card?”

Coworker: “Stop mumbling. Didn’t your mother teach you about mumbling?!”

Coworker: *yelling* “CASH OR CARD?!”

Customer: “All right, all right, you don’t have to shout! How much is it?”

Coworker: “[Amount].”

Customer: “What?”

(I have yet to see someone go so completely dead behind the eyes since.)

We Know Zip About That

, , , | Right | February 5, 2019

(I’m working in a store that sells printer cartridges, toner, and the like. On all the walls are toner and cartridges, there is a printer on a stand just on my left, and there’s a TV screen right behind me that shows our offers and services. I have four customers in line. I finish talking to [Customer #1] about the cartridges for his and his wife’s printers, and he pays and leaves.)

Customers #2 and #3: “Hello. We have a projector and we need this cable.”

Me: “Have you tried going to an electronic store? We only sell printer cartridges and the like.”

Customers #2 and #3: “Ah, okay, sorry.”

(I direct them to a couple of electronic stores around here and they leave. In all of this, [Customer #4] has been looking around the store and probably hearing everything.)

Customer #4: “Hello. I’m searching for a shirt with a zip on the front”

Me: “Have you tried going to a clothing store? We…”

Customer #4: “Yes, but they told me to came here, to the bike store.”

Me: “The bike store is on that corner there.” *points in the direction* “We sell printer cartridges.”

Customer #4: “Oh! Really? Thank you!” *goes, after looking around once more*

(Nobody was rude or anything, but seriously, A BIKE STORE?)

Not Even Partially Apologetic

, , , , | Right | February 4, 2019

(I work in a retail pharmacy in a suburban city. A lot of snobbish, entitled people come through our line every day, thinking they are God’s gifts to the world and that we should feel honored to bend over backward and kiss their a**es. It’s a Sunday afternoon, during a slow hour in the late summer. It’s just me and my pharmacist working today. I’m helping someone in our drive-thru, so the pharmacist helps this guy who comes up to the counter. I overhear this exchange as I’m ringing up the person I’m helping.)

Pharmacist: “Hi, there! How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m picking up a prescription.”

Pharmacist: *looks up the guy’s name in the system and goes to retrieve his script* “Just so you know, sir, we didn’t have the full quantity of this medication in stock, so we had to give you a partial supply. We should have the rest in tomorrow morning, though.”

Customer: *raising his voice* “You know, this is bulls***. I got a phone call saying that my prescription was ready in full, but every time I come here, you guys only have a part of the d*** thing!”

Pharmacist: “I do apologize, sir. Are you sure the phone call said it was done in full?”

Customer: “What, do you think I’m stupid?! Of course it did! Here, listen!”

(He pulled out his phone and replayed the voicemail on speaker so we could hear. It very clearly stated that the prescription was ready for a PARTIAL FILL. Obviously flushed and embarrassed, the guy tried to brush it off like it was still our fault, paid for his partial, and left. My pharmacist paraded that little victory around for the rest of the year.)

Page 3/23912345...Last