Wasn’t Banking On You Not Doing Banking, Part 2

, , , , | Right | April 8, 2021

I have a weekend job at a local grocery store. We have a counter very close to the door for small purchases. This counter is covered with soda cans, candy, bread, etc. A woman walks in and hands me a small leather bag.

Customer: “Just that, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what is that?”

Customer: “My takings for the week, my money.”

Me: “Why are you giving it to me?”

Customer: “Well, you are a bank, aren’t you? Where else should I take it?”

Me: “The bank is across the street; this is a grocery store. Look around.”

Customer: “Are you trying to be funny?”

Me: “Of course not. It’s just that you have walked into the wrong building.”

Customer: “How dare you tell me I made a mistake?! This is your fault for making your shop look like a bank. You are in the wrong here; you should apologise and compensate me.”

Me: “Well, okay, then. I’m sorry this grocery store that’s full of food and has been here for twenty years looks like a bank to you.”

Customer: “And my compensation.”

Me: “You should take that up with your bank.”

She stands there looking at me, trying to decide what to say, and finally points at me.

Customer: “Don’t think I will not do that. You will be hearing from them.”

Wasn’t Banking On You Not Doing Banking

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The Final Word On Passwords, Part 10

, , | Right | April 8, 2021

I work remote IT support for a retail company. We support employees throughout the country. A lot of my support is password resets. I get variations on this call every day.

Me: “Are you ready to write down this temporary password?”

User: “Go.”

I provide the password.

User: “Now it’s asking for the old password.”

Me: “That’s the one I gave you.”

User: “Oh, I didn’t write that down.”

Me: *Head-desk*

The Final Word On Passwords, Part 9
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 8
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 7
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 6
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 5

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Home Décor Meets… Everything Else

, , , , | Right | April 8, 2021

I am a relatively new hire at my current job, which I enjoy. The store in which I am working is very large and sells home decor items, wall art, garden items, and some furniture. However, the building in which it is located was previously, for many years, a very different store which sold a lot of things.

I’m getting used to being asked for things that our store doesn’t sell but which the old store did, because even after over a year, people are still not cottoning on to the fact that we are not that store.

These are all questions I have legitimately been asked.

Customer #1: “Do you sell DVDs?”

Customer #2: “Where is the appliance section?”

Customer #3: “Do y’all have switchblades?”

Customer #4: “Where are your pajamas?”

It took everything in me not to answer, “In my dresser.” And then there was this woman:

Customer: “Here’s my card.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s a rewards card for the supermarket.”

Customer: “What? Well, where am I?”

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A Fee-ble Attempt At Avoiding The Fees, Part 3

, , , , | Right | April 7, 2021

I work at a customer service center for a big box retailer. One of our tasks is cashing paychecks for people. There is a 1% fee for the service, with the option to load it on a prepaid card for free if it is done in the same transaction. If not, the fee is $3.

Two construction workers come in together, checks in hand.

Customer #1: “Hey, chickadee. Got my paycheck. You got my money?”

Me: “If you’ve got your ID.”

I take his license and make sure everything matches.

Customer #1: “You like us coming in, don’t you?”

I smile politely, avoiding the question.

Me: “And if you’ll just enter your social security number on the PIN pad…”

Customer #2: “She does. You can see her blushing.”

Me: “Okay. You’re cashing a check for [amount], minus 1% for the service, which brings you to [new amount]. Would you like that in cash or loaded on a card?”

Customer #2: “Why?”

Me: “Well, if you load it on a card now, it’s free. If you do it in another transaction, it’s $3.”

Customer #1: “Cash, sweetheart.”

Me: “You don’t want to load it on a card?”

Customer #1: “No, I’ll take large bills.”

Me: “All right.”

I finish the transaction and count the cash back — starting over several times since they keep interrupting my counting — and wish them well.

Me: “Have a good night, gentlemen.” *Looking around them* “I can help—”

Customer #1: “Hold up! I want this on a card.”

Me: “I just asked if—”

Customer #1: “No, you didn’t. You just flopped all this cash down.”

Me: *Frustration building* “No, I asked twice. If you want it loaded on a card, it’s $3.”

Customer #2: “Bull-f******-s***! It’s $3?! You can’t charge for a f****** service! This is America!”

Customer #1: “Get me your manager, b****! You’re gonna do this and you’re gonna do it for free.”

Me: *Shrugs* “Okay.” *Over the loudspeaker* “Manager to customer service.”

A low-end manager comes to the desk and says he didn’t have the authority to waive the fee. I know that is a lie, but I don’t say anything.

Customer #2: “Then get someone who can do their g**d*** job.”

Manager: “Of course, sir.” *Over the loudspeaker* “Manager to customer service for a card fee override.”

Several people in the area look over at us, some glaring at the men.

Customer #1: *Blushes* “You can’t just call for a manager?”

Manager: *Smiling* “You have to have a certain authority to override fees. I wouldn’t want you to have to wait any longer if the wrong person came.”

The manager looks beyond the men, walking away.

Manager: “Excuse me.”

Though I was sure the other manager on duty was one who would override the fee to keep the customer happy, I was wrong. The store manager had asked via management headset what was going on, which was why the first manager left. The store manager came up himself and told the men that they would have to pay the fee. They decided not to load the card after all.

A Fee-ble Attempt At Avoiding The Fees, Part 2
A Fee-ble Attempt At Avoiding The Fees

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Wrong Number, Right Attitude

, , , , | Right | April 6, 2021

I am currently subbing for a receptionist at a healthcare office. Our phone number is one digit off from a medical bill payment company. It’s my first day, and I have had this conversation three times already before lunch.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Healthcare Office]. How may I help you?”

Caller: *In a thick southern accent* “Hi, I received this bill here, and I need to make a payment to my account.”

This office does not send out any kind of billing, nor does it handle any account payments. I already know where this is headed.

Me: “Okay, could you just read off the phone number on the bill for me?”

Caller: “The phone number? You mean the one I just called?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Caller: “Well, that’s just a silly question! I obviously called you guys from the number on this letter!” *Laughs* “Well, that just don’t make any sense!”

He continues on for a moment before I manage to break in, trying a new tactic.

Me: “I know it’s a silly question, but I just want to confirm we’re in the right place. Just double-checking, did they give you [Med Bill Company]’s number?”

Caller: “Yeah! That’s the number I called!”

Me: “All right, sir, I think I found the problem. [My Company] is one digit off from them. We are [our number]. You are trying to reach [correct number].”

Caller: *Pauses* “Oh! I see! I am so sorry, ma’am! You sound like you’ve been through this before. I really apologize for the mistake. Thanks for your help. Have a good day!”

I could hear him muttering to himself as he hung up. Rinse and repeat for the rest of the afternoon, but nobody was quite as polite!

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