Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 7

, , , , | Right | July 20, 2021

I work at the customer service desk at a large retailer with a sub shop, nail salon, and bank in the building. The phone rings.

Me: “[Store] Customer Service.”

Caller: “I want a refund.”

Me: “Okay, what did you buy and when?”

Caller: “I ordered [Sub] and it was disgusting.”

Me: “Umm, you ordered it?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “From [Store]?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. We sell premade subs but—”

Caller:No, you don’t.”

Me: “Ah, did you order from [Sub Shop]?”

Caller: “Yes. Jesus, no wonder you only make minimum wage!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, if you want a refund from [Sub Shop], you have to call them, not [Store].”

Customer: “Oh. I thought you could just transfer me.”

Me: “No, you have to call them directly.”

Silence for a few seconds, then…

Customer: “Well, you’re still stupid.” *Hangs up*

Related:
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 6
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 5
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 4
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 3
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 2

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His Attention Span Is On Lockdown

, , , , | Right | July 20, 2021

My city is currently in the midst of a two-week lockdown due to the health crisis. I am still turning up to work as our store is deemed essential, though most other stores in the same shopping complex are shut and at this point have been closed for about a week.

A customer walks in, already seemingly annoyed.

Customer: “Why is the [Insurance Provider] store closed?”

My store is in no way shape or form affiliated with this insurance provider other than being located next to it.

Me: “I’m not too sure, sir, but it’s probably due to the lockdown.”

Customer: “What lockdown?!”

Me: *Pauses* “Sir, we’re in a lockdown currently due to cases rising.”

Customer: “Why did it start today?!”

Me: *Pauses again* “Sir, it started last week.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “Well how am I supposed to pay my bills?!”

Me: “I’m not sure sir, you could try… calling them?”

Customer: “That’s useless! I’m just not going to pay them, since you lot make everything so difficult! And don’t you dare think of charging me additional fees for your incompetence!”

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Jumper To The Realization

, , , , , | Right | July 19, 2021

I’m waiting in the side lot of a superstore for my groceries to be brought out to my car. It’s so backed up that I wind up waiting a while for my groceries, and during the wait, my car battery dies.

I go around the parking lot for about an hour asking if anyone has jumper cables, but no luck. I call roadside assistance and they say it’ll be about an hour and a half for someone to come out, so I sit on a curb and just wait.

It isn’t long before it dawns on me that, in fact, I am in the parking lot of a store that sells everything I need to get my car running again, so I run inside and buy a $15 set of jumper cables and ask one more car if they could help me jump it, and they agree to help.

Five minutes later, my car is running like new and I’m on my way home. Once I’m settled on my couch, I call the number for roadside assistance to cancel the service, hold for about ten minutes, and finally get a representative.

Me: “Hello! I called earlier and asked for help with a dead car battery. I would just like to cancel that service request.”

Representative: “Okay, sure. For the driver’s report, may I ask why you’d like to cancel?”

Me: “Well, it’s kind of silly, but while I was waiting for the service, it clicked that I was in the parking lot of a store that sold jumper cables, so I just bought some and the car next to me was able to help get me running again. I’m sorry for the trouble, but I’m all set!”

The rep had a good laugh at my slow thinking and was still giggling when she got my request cancelled and disconnected the call.

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HDMI Sounds Like How Dumb Am I?

, , , , | Right | July 16, 2021

I have a Smart TV with a cable subscription. There are plugs from the TV and the router that go into the cable box which emanates from the wall. At one point in time, it was set at HDMI 1. My kids keep rearranging the wires as they hook up their Switch and Xbox. I’ve not watched programs that need the cable box — this includes network TV — in months.

I go to watch the first Thursday night game. I start early, mind you, as I expect to have trouble with the setup. I also want to tape the game for my daughter who is out.

The problem is that the box won’t go on. I look and, sure enough, it’s not plugged in. Yet I don’t know what the charger is supposed to look like and I have LOADS of chargers for all sorts of electronics. No one is home to help me. I do see two plugs: one seems to go to the router, the other LOOKS as if it’s plugged into the wall. I do try and unplug the router plug first — I am tired — and manage to disconnect the Internet for ten minutes as it reboots. I rifle through different boxes of plugs and wires to see if it has accidentally been put away as something we had no use for.

The next day, the kids are of no use. I start a chat with customer service so I can get a new charger.

Me: “I need a new charger.”

Chat: “So, I see you are having an issue with your F-SetBox. Can you describe what you are seeing?”

Me: “Yes, I’m having an issue because it’s not plugged in, as I don’t seem to have the charger.”

Chat: “Are you having the issue with only one of your boxes as I see you have two boxes?”

I had forgotten that there was a second one in my daughter’s room; now at least I can see what the charger is supposed to look like. I also think that I can use this charger, so my daughter tries.

Me: “Just the one.”

Chat: “If you read me the serial number, I can get started on ordering you a new one, free of charge.”

I type in the numbers.

In the meantime, my daughter locates a similar plug but sees it “plugged” in and thinks it must be for something different. She then leaves. I look closer at the connection and think that this must be the charger, and that maybe the other end is just jammed. It’s behind a fairly heavy entertainment center which I can just move out enough to unjam and plug in.

The customer service rep asks me to verify my address.

Me: “Please hold off on that. I believe that the cord was just jammed up against the wall, not plugged in elsewhere.”

Chat: “So you’ve found the cord?”

Me: “The F-box seems to be starting now; green lights… blinking…”

Chat: “Are we good now?”

Me: “Please wait until I can get this verified.”

I try to go to HDMI 1 and HDMI 2 but neither works.

Me: “I can’t seem to get HDMI 1 and 2 to work.”

Chat: “Any chance there is an HDMI 3?”

Me: “Yes. It didn’t occur to me to try that.”

I felt like an idiot. Sure enough, HDMI 3 put me into the correct screen. I got a prompt to hit “OK,” but the remote wasn’t working. Apparently, someone had harvested the batteries. The next device I tried to take batteries from was also dead.

I apparently took too long; the chat guy left. I eventually found working batteries.

I also received a free charger.

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Wrong Number, Wrong Attitude

, , , , | Right | July 15, 2021

I work at a popular wing restaurant and people are constantly getting us confused with a more popular wing restaurant that is all over the US. At least once a day, we get someone that calls or comes in that doesn’t realize that we are separate companies. This day is no different. 

Coworker: “[Manager], there is a lady on the phone complaining that when she got her delivery order it was cold and gross.”

Manager: “Okay, well, just tell her that she’ll have to contact the delivery service to get a credit because there’s nothing we can do on our end to give her a credit.”

My coworker doesn’t want to go back on the phone call because she doesn’t want to get yelled at by the customer, so I offer to take the phone call. I was a manager at my last job so I have no problem dealing with rude customers. 

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I just got a delivery from you guys and the food was cold and gross and hard and I need a refund.”

Me: “Okay, which delivery service did you go through? [Service #1] or [Service #2]?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Whichever one you sent me when I ordered online.”

We offer delivery through [Service #1] and [Service #2] apps only. If you order online, you must come pick the food up yourself. 

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we actually do not offer delivery through our website.”

Customer: “Then you need to educate yourself on your website, because I’m looking at it right now and it says you offer delivery.”

Me: “Again, I’m very sorry, but we actually do not offer delivery through our website. If you order online, you must come pick your orders up yourself. The only way we have delivery is through the [Service #1] and [Service #2] apps.”

Customer: “Well, I’m looking at [Other Restaurant]’s website right now and it says you guys offer delivery through your website.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we are [My Restaurant], not [Other Restaurant].”

Customer: “Well, I ordered from [Other Restaurant].”

Me: “Well then, ma’am, you’re going to have to call them, because there’s nothing I can do for you. We are [My Restaurant] at [Location], not [Other Restaurant]. We are completely separate companies and there’s nothing I can do for you.”

I think it finally started to dawn on her that she had called the wrong store and she mumbled something, said okay, and then hung up.

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