Do You Want Me To Not Say It Any Clearer?

, , , , , , | Working | March 27, 2020

(I’ve unfortunately inherited my dad’s severe reactions to orthodontic work. A procedure that would cause most people a day or two of mild pain will cause me a week of severe pain and residual pain for another two. Nothing seems to help and dentists don’t always take it seriously. One summer, I’m working my first two customer service jobs and I get some dental work done. I’m in my usual pain, meaning I can’t talk for more than a few seconds at a time, which is fine at [Job #1]; it’s the front desk of a gym, so it’s mostly just, “Hi, how are you?” But [Job #2] is cashiering at a restaurant, which means I spend most of my day talking. I go into [Job #2] a few hours after getting the dental work and these are the conversations that happen for the next few days:)

Me: *explains dental work, level of pain, and requests non-talking jobs*

Shift Lead: “Are you sure?”

Me: *in a slow whisper, which is all I can handle* “Absolutely. I cannot talk today and I probably won’t be able to stay on register all shift for at least three days.”

Shift Lead: “Okay…”

(They seem to be willing to accommodate, but then…)

Shift Lead: *thirty minutes later* “Hey, can you get on register?”

Me: “Umm… No? Remember it hurts to talk?”

Shift Lead: “Oh, okay. Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Shift Lead: *two hours later* “Hey, are you feeling better? Can you get on register? [Coworker] needs to go on break.”

Me: “Can anybody else do it?”

Shift Lead: “Well…”

Me: “Okay, fine, but no more than fifteen minutes.”

(Ten minutes pass.)

Me: “Sorry, I tried but I really can’t. You’re going to have to find someone else.”

(It finally seems to get through, but then, the next day…)

Shift Lead: *in pre-shift meeting* “Okay, [My Name] you’re on register today.”

Me: *thinking* “Seriously?” *saying* “I feel just as bad as I did yesterday. I really can’t. I’m sorry.”

(The same thing repeated the next day, and on the fourth day, I finally felt like I could do half a shift on register without too much pain… Buuuuuuut, you guessed it — the same questions were repeated all day again. I was eventually fine and went back to my normal duties, but having had several customer service jobs since then, the situation seems a lot sillier than I realized it was at the time. It makes absolute sense that they need me on my regular job, but when I couldn’t do it they didn’t hold to the accommodations they agreed to or ask me to go home until I felt better, which would have saved them the cost of paying an employee that couldn’t do their job!)

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This Doctor Is Such A Headache

, , , , | Healthy | March 27, 2020

(I have had headaches all my life, but they suddenly become chronic, so I visit the doctor.)

Me: “I have a headache about five days of the week, and I have sleeping problems. I’m not sure which one is causing the other, though.”

(I proceed to give the doctor a list of things I’ve tried and checked, such as diet, climate, schedule, workout regimes, etc.)

Doctor: “I usually recommend a headache diary, but it seems you know pretty well what you’re doing. I suggest reading an hour before going to bed, instead of looking at a screen; that will help.”

Me: “No, that’s not it. I have gone screenless for three weeks but still had headaches. Also, reading before going to bed makes me have trouble falling asleep.”

Doctor: “Oh. Well, I still recommend reading an hour before bed instead of screen time.”

Me: “I am an avid reader, and I assure you that this is not the solution.”

(After going back and forth a few times…)

Doctor: “Well, I still recommend you try it.”

(She then proceeded to walk me to the door, indicating that the consultation was over. When I was back at home fuming, my husband suggested going to get my eyes checked. It turns out, I needed glasses! I could still see sharply, but the strain on my eyes caused the headaches. They were mostly strained by… reading. I’m glad I didn’t listen to the doctor, because more reading would have worsened the headaches. I have a new doctor now.)

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When They Say Early Morning Delivery, They MEAN It

, , , | Working | March 26, 2020

(I worked the third shift at an injection molding factory. I ran the only CNC machine there which was hidden two buildings away from everyone else. The buildings there connected roll-up doors big enough for a forklift to drive through. So, imagine being the only person in a pole barn full of boxes. My machine made the only noise and it wasn’t very loud, so it was very quiet all night — creepy quiet. My manager would literally forget I was even there until I handed in my paperwork at the end of the shift when she would look at me and say, “Wait, you were here?!” During one night, while I am in my creepy corner plugging away at the parts order, I get the feeling that I am being watched. I look up from my machine and in the tiny window, I see a man staring at me from the pitch-black night. I about have a heart attack. As I am recovering from fright, he starts gesturing for me to let him in the man-door next to my machine, which I bolted shut, thank freaking God. I shake my head no and gesture for him to go to the far entrance where there are people in case he tries to kidnap me. Once we get over to the door, I open it and the following conversation takes place.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Stranger: “Yeah, I got a delivery and nobody is in the office.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s 1:00 am; nobody is going to be here. Why didn’t you come in through the delivery side? It’s lit up, has the material handler there, and says, ‘DELIVERY.’”

Stranger: “But this lot has the main office.”

Me: “But there’s no dock for a semi, the office is pitch black, and the parking lot doesn’t even have light.”

Stranger: “But it’s the main office.”

Me: *sigh* “Wait here while I get the manager.”

(She convinced him to go to the actual semi dock to drop off the plastic. I still can’t understand why he would choose to pull into the pitch-black lot with no semi dock over the brightly-lit lot with a semi dock and a large sign that says, “DELIVERY.” He literally drove right past it.)

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Complaints For Pages And Pages

, , , | Right | March 25, 2020

(This happens only a month or two after I started working in the copy center of a well-known retail chain. The copy center is a little complicated to learn, so while I know a lot of the basics, there are a few nuances I haven’t quite mastered yet.)

Customer: “I need a copy of each of these papers.” *hands me a sheaf of legal documents*

Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

(I go to make the copies and return with them, and she goes to the self-serve area to check them over before paying.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss! I’m missing some of my copies!”

Me: “Oh! I’m sorry, let me see…”

(At the time, I don’t know that the copy feeder is notorious for pulling through more than one sheet at once, and it’s best to count the original pages by hand and compare them to the total the copier prints. Sure enough, there is a page or two missing.)

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. I’ll run those off for you right away.”

(I do this, and again she goes to check my work. She comes back again, this time livid.)

Customer: “I’m missing some of my originals!”

Me: “W-what?”

Customer: “I just went through my originals and some are missing!”

(She makes me count through her originals. There are several packets of paper, all numbered with 1 of x, 2 of x, and so on. I notice that all of the missing pages are the last page in a packet)

Me: “Ma’am, are you sure that you had these…”

Customer: “Of course I did! I can’t believe you lost my originals! I do so much business here and you’ve lost important legal papers of mine! Call your manager this instant!”

Me: *about to cry* “Yes, ma’am.”

(My manager and I practically turn over the entire copy center, even pulling out the copiers to check behind and under them, but her papers are nowhere to be found.)

Customer: “I can’t believe this! I’m going to be late for my meeting! I’m never shopping here again!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, we’ll continue to look for your papers but—”

Customer: “Well, you haven’t heard the last of this! If I can’t find my papers I want that girl fired!” *glares at me and storms out*

Me: *still tearing up* “Um… [Manager]?”

Manager: “Yes?”

Me: “I, uh… I couldn’t really get a word in with her but… all the missing pages were the last pages of the documents they belonged to. I think they were just the blank pages that sometimes show up when you have an extra line in a word document. I don’t think she ever had them here.”

Manager: *pause* “Just count the pages first next time.”

(We never did hear back from that customer, so she must have come to the same conclusion I did.)

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Their Carpets Are Wibbly-Wobbly Timey-Wimey

, , , , | Right | March 25, 2020

(My father and I go to a “Doctor Who” shop in London, as we’re both big fans of the show. This happens as we’re going to check out.)

Clerk #1: “Hello!” *normal checkout conversation takes place*

Clerk #2: *on store phone, in background* “Hello? No, this is not the carpet shop. You must have copied the number wrong. We have not ever sold carpets; this is a sci-fi merchandise store! No carpets.”

(This phone conversation goes on for quite a few minutes, back and forth.)

Dad: *to [Clerk #1]* “Does this happen often?”

Clerk #1: “Yes, the carpet store is right next door; sometimes we get confused customers.”

Clerk #2: *hangs up phones* “One day I should, if they won’t believe me when I say we’re not a carpet shop, say, ‘Yes, you’re right; we’re the carpet shop. Can I have your name, address, and payment info?’ I wouldn’t actually do anything with it, but maybe wait until they complain about no carpets.”

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