Unfiltered Story #194395

, , , | Unfiltered | May 17, 2020

My sister and I have stopped at a newly opened poutine place in town and are deciding what to get. A woman lines up behind us and as we haven’t made up our minds yet…

Me: “If you know what you want, you can go ahead of us.”

The woman steps in front of my sister and I (who decide what we want about 10 seconds later) and proceeds to have this exchange with the employee.

Customer: “What is on the bacon poutine?”

Employee: “Um… Bacon, cheese curd, gravy.”

(Please be aware that all of the poutine options are clearly posted with all of the ingredients listed on a giant board directly behind the employee)

Customer: “What about the pulled pork poutine?”

Employee: “Pulled pork, cheese curd, gravy.”

Customer: “What about the cheesesteak poutine?”

Employee: (turning and pointing to the board as he reads off the ingredients) “steak, peppers, cheese curd, gravy.”

The customer proceeds to do this for every. Single. Item. She takes about ten minutes to go through everything, exasperating the employee, me, my sister, and a growing line behind her before deciding on the BACON POUTINE!

‘Til Death Or Pyramid Scheme Do Us Part

, , , , , , | Romantic | May 14, 2020

I got married to my first husband very young, and after only a few months, we discovered that getting married was a huge mistake. We had a very amicable divorce and parted friends. We didn’t stay in touch, but our parents did, so we often heard about what was going on in each other’s lives.

Time passed, and I married again. My second husband and I had a little girl, and we gave her a sister two years later.

I get the following phone call about a month after giving birth the second time. It has probably been six years or more since my ex and I last spoke.

Ex: “Hi, [My Name]! How are you?”

Me: “[Ex]! It’s been so long! I’m fine; thanks for asking. How are you?”

I honestly think he called to catch up and perhaps congratulate me on the new baby.

Ex: “Things couldn’t be better for me. Your parents probably heard from mine that I’m now involved in [Pyramid Scheme]?”

He doesn’t call it a pyramid scheme, of course. It is a vitamin company which is — if you believe the hype — going to be responsible for the human race staying in the peak of health for decades and living to be 120.

Me: “Yes, I heard that.”

Ex: “Let me tell you all about it. These vitamins are the best thing ever, and—”

Me: “Uh, let me stop you right there. I’m not interested in buying any vitamins.”

Ex: “Oh, that’s not why I’m calling. I have a business proposition for you and [Second Husband] which you’d be crazy to turn down.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Ex: “Don’t say no right away. You haven’t heard about it—”

Me: “Look, [Ex], I’m not interested in anything to do with that company, so please don’t waste your time.”

Ex: “…”

Me: “But anyway, enough about that. What’s new? How’s the family?”

How pathetic is that? I still think that he called for a friendly chat, not a sales pitch.

Ex: *Hurriedly* “Oh, they’re fine, but I really have to go. Nice talking to you, [My Name].” *Click*

And that was that. I couldn’t help but be saddened that the sweet young man who’d once promised to love me for all time had turned into a sleazy salesman, but that’s life, I guess. I never heard from him again.

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Shut Up And Take My Coupon!

, , , , , | Friendly | April 4, 2020

During one of my grocery shopping runs, I spend enough to qualify for a “get $10 off on your next visit if you spend $50 or more” coupon. Unfortunately, I forget all about it until it has almost expired. I’ve already done my grocery shopping for the week, so I decide to visit the store and give the coupon to someone. I talk to the first person I see.

Me: “Excuse me. Would you like–” 

Person #1: “Not interested!” 

He scurries away. Hmm, I guess he thought I was a panhandler. Okay, skip the chitchat; get straight to the point. I try again with the next person I see.

Me: “Hi. I’ve got a coupon for $10 off that I can’t use. Would you like it?”

Person #2: “No, thanks.”

Really? You don’t want to save ten bucks? Maybe she thought I was a scammer. I try yet again to offer the coupon to the next person, a woman who’s with her husband.

Me: “Hi. I’ve got a coupon for $10 off if you spend $50. I can’t use it; would you like to have it?”

Person #3: “We won’t be spending that much, but thanks, anyway.”

Person #3’s Husband: “We won’t?”

Person #3: *Firmly* “No.”

Me: “Okay!

As I walk away, I hear the husband say:

Person #3’s Husband: “Are you nuts? We’ll definitely be spending at least $50! Why didn’t you take the coupon?”

I was finally able to give the coupon to the next person: a harassed, tired-looking young woman who was thrilled to get it. Phew!

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Unfiltered Story #190312

, , | Unfiltered | March 21, 2020

I work at an ice cream parlor and sell ice cream to many elderly couples. One such couple walks into the door.

Me: Hi, welcome to (ice cream store), what can I get for you?

Couple: Can we have (order)?

Me: Sure! *gets them the ice cream*

Me: The total comes to… $6.66.

Couple: Oh! That’s ummm…

They quickly pay and rush out of the store!

Unfiltered Story #190298

, , | Unfiltered | March 20, 2020

((I do not remember if I submitted this story or not. Please ignore if I already have)). I call this story “As Forteold By Prophetic Pizza”

I work closing shifts at a pizza place. Its’ not bad, I prefer it. You get the odd customer or traveller through though with interesting stories.

This nice older lady comes in – she was small, thin with sleepy eyes and long greying hair. Delicate looking. Very pleasant.

“You have great positive energy!” She compliments, after I’ve put her pie in the oven and started up cleaning again to earn my pay.

“Thanks! I try to keep busy!” I respond with a smile.

A few minutes later, after she keeps watching me, she asks “Do you trip a lot?”

This catches me off guard, and I think “Well, sometimes. I move too fast and I’ll trip over a line on the floor!” I joke.

A nod, and she falls silent again.

A few minutes later, her pie is ready. I box and cut it with an expert slide, and bring it to her to present at the counter (We do this to ensure it is correct and looks good).

“It looks great! you know, you are destined for great things, you have a great energy!”

“Thanks? ” I reply, a little startled.

She begins to head for the door “The world needs more people like you to KNOW this. Never forget it!” and she dissapeared into the night.