Ballet Commentary We Can All Get Behind

, , , , , , | Related | November 10, 2019

This story happens when I’m quite small, about three or four years old. My parents have taken me to a children’s matinee at the Royal Winnipeg Ballet. They were worried that I’d be bored, but apparently, I’m utterly enthralled.

At one point, a male and female dancer begin to perform a romantic pas-de-deux, and a small voice pipes up from the middle of the crowd, “Oh! The pretty lady loves the man!”

We’re sitting far enough back that the dancers don’t hear this, but a ripple of laughter moves through the audience nearby. An usher hurries over and asks my father to take me to sit at the back, and he complies.

Another scene is circus-themed and features a clown putting on his clown suit. Midway through, the same small voice rings out again. “He’s putting on his jammies!”

More laughter from the audience. This time the usher asks my dad to remove me from the audience entirely. 

As my dad says, this was clearly the beginning of my career in media analysis.

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An Extra Twenty Minutes Can Make All The Difference

, , , , , , | Right | November 5, 2019

(I work at a local grocery store only twenty minutes from my house. As a courtesy clerk, it’s my job to make sure there are carts available for the customers and to also help any customer who needs it. It is twenty minutes before my shift ends and, as I have finished all of my tasks for the day, I am walking the aisles in search of something to do.)

Older Woman: “Would you be so kind as to help me?”

Me: “Of course I would.”

Older Woman: “My hands don’t work as they used to and I can’t seem to lift this box of canned pop. Would you be so kind as to put it in my cart?”

Me: “Of course, I would be happy to.”

(I put the cans of pop in her cart when she notices that the two-litres of the same brand are not out.)

Older Woman: “Oh, dear, it would seem like the two-litres are out of stock.”

Me: “I can go check in the back for you to see if we have any lying around.”

Older Woman: “Would you? That would help a lot.”

(I head into the back. Sure enough, I find the two-litres of the same brand. I then get the amount she requires and place them in her cart.)

Older Woman: “Thank you ever so much.”

(Then, noticing that my shift has ended, I wish her a good day and make my way upstairs. On my way back downstairs, out of my uniform, one of the customer service clerks comes over the PA.)

Coworker: “Courtesy clerk for a carry out, please.”

(I was the only courtesy clerk on duty. I walk over to her and she notices I am out of uniform.)

Coworker: “Oh, [My Name], we will get someone else to do it.”

(I am leaving to go home, anyway, and knowing only a few people are working now that it is late, I don’t see anything wrong with me helping her to her car.)

Me: “I am leaving, anyway; I would be happy to escort her to her car and help her load her groceries.”

Older Woman: “It’s people like you that make me come back to this establishment.”

(I push her cart to her car and help her load her car.)

Older Woman: “Thanks again for the help.”

(A few days later, I notice the same woman speaking to one of my managers when she notices me. She points at me and they start walking over to me.)

Older Woman: “This is the lady — the one who took time out of her life to help a young lady like me.”

Manager: “She has been in here for the past week telling all of us how great you were. She asked for you each time as she wanted to give something to you.”

(She hands me a twenty-dollar bill.)

Older Woman: “You deserve something for your hard work.”

(I look to my manager, afraid that it might be against store policy to accept it.)

Manager: “Take it; from what she told me, you deserve it.”

Me: “Thanks ever so much.”

(We then hug and she leaves to go do her own shopping. Later, while I’m on break, the manager comes up and walks over to me.)

Manager: “Seeing as you worked off the clock, I want you to take another 15 minutes to compensate for it.”

(The old lady is, in fact, a regular, and each time she needs help she asks for me. Of course, sometimes I am not on, but when I am I’m always willing to help.)

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I’m Gonna Strip Just Like Your Daddy

, , , , | Right | November 5, 2019

(I am white. One day when I am working the till, an older, very black man who is definitely not related to me — or my father — comes in.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to pick up my clean shirts and drop off this one I’m wearing.”

Me: “The one you’re wearing?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’ll just go there—” *gestures to a corner of the store* “—and change.”

Me: “Uh… are you sure?”

Customer: “It’s okay. Just pretend like I’m your dad.”

(The customer wanders over into the corner, hides behind some clothes racks, and strips.)

Me: “…”

(The customer finishes changing, comes back out wearing one of his clean shirts, and hands me the dirty one.)

Customer: “See? Just like your dad.” *grins and cheerfully leaves the store*

(My coworkers look completely baffled.)

Me: “I don’t know what just happened.”

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Unfiltered Story #173077

, | Unfiltered | October 25, 2019

I was finishing an 8 hour shift serving ice cream to rushed tourists (without any manners or knowledge of “please”) when a middle-aged lady reached the front of the line.
Lady: (she smiles at me and asks) Hello, how are you?
Me: (I am taken aback because no one is nice) Uh…Buh…Wow. I am never asked that, that is really nice of you. I was tired but that makes me feel plenty better.
Lady: Good to know. Can I please have (ice cream)?
Me: Definitely!

Needs More Than Decaf To Solve Her Problems

, , , , | Right | October 16, 2019

(A customer drives up to speaker box.)

Me: *speaking into headset* “Hello. May I take your order, please?”

Customer: “Do you have decaf lattes?”

Me: “Sorry, our latte machine automatically dispenses caffeinated espresso with the frothed milk, so no.”

Customer: “So, you’re telling me decaf coffee or nothing?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we have a variety of decaf products such as hot chocolate, several types of tea, fruit smoothies, lemonades, as well as decaf coffee, and a few more.”

Customer: “Yeah, but decaf?!

Me: “Yes, those are all decaf prod—”

Customer: “I want a large steeped tea!”

Me: “Did you want it to be the decaf steeped tea?”

Customer: “Just give me a regular tea!”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “With two milk! And that’s it!”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $1.88 at the window.”

(The customer drives up to the window.)

Coworker: “Here’s your large steeped tea, two milk.”

Customer: “I WANTED A MEDIUM!” *slams on the gas and leaves*

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