Not In Receipt Of Your Hints

, , , , , | Right | October 12, 2017

(I am the manager on duty right now. I am helping customers on the sales floor when a woman asks for my help with some new coats that just came in a week or so ago.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Is this on sale?” *points to sign on the rack that reads “Jackets, 30% off”*

Me: “Yes, they are! They’re 30% off and they just came in!”

Customer: “I bought two last week and I paid full price for them!”

Me: “Oh, do you have your receipt? We can give you a price adjustment today if you have it.”

Customer: “No, I don’t. But I bought two full-price last week.”

Me: “Okay. Well, when you get the receipt, come back and we will give you a price adjustment as long as the sale is still on.”

Customer: “I bought two full price ones last week, but I changed my purse so I don’t have the receipt.”

Me: “That’s no problem; you can get your price adjustment whenever you can bring the receipt in. No time limit, as long as the sale is on.”

Customer: “But I bought two full price jackets last week! This one and the grey one! In fact, you helped me! It was about $300!”

Me: “Right, and we can refund you if you go get the receipt.”

Customer: “I changed purses and it’s in my other purse.”

Me: *sighing inwardly in frustration* “We will give you the 30% off when you bring the receipt in, but I can’t do anything without the receipt.”

Customer: “I bought them for $[total] and it’s 30% off, so I should get $[amount] back!”

Me: “Yup, just get your receipt and you’ll get it back!”

Customer: “I don’t have my receipt; I changed purses!”

Me: “Then I can’t help you today.”

(I walk away to help other customers but she follows me, holding up two jackets.)

Customer: “I bought two full price jackets — this one and this one — last week! They are on sale now!”

Me:Yes! They are, and you can get your money back if you bring in the receipt, which is in your other purse! I cannot give you a price adjustment without the receipt.”

(The customer proceeds to repeat her receipt and purse story.)

Me: “Come back when you have your receipt.”

(I walked away, and every time she tried to talk to me to tell me about her jackets she bought, I said, “I’ll talk to you when you have your receipt,” and kept walking away. After a few minutes she got the hint and left.)

Exploding Cat Pee: Ten Years Later

, , , , , | Related | September 26, 2017

Eight-Year-Old: “Mom! Mom! There’s exploding cat pee on the carpet in my room!”

(This gets my attention. I run upstairs to witness the exploding cat pee. I hear and see a loud plop. I look up, and point to the leak in the ceiling.)

Eight-Year-Old: “Never tell anyone.”

Me: “I won’t for now, but I can’t promise forever.”

(Happy 18th birthday, Darling!)

Some People Just Play House

, , , , , | Working | September 22, 2017

(My husband and I have bought a house. It is a show-home, and because of this, the builder has to keep it “on display” for six weeks after we close the deal. This happens on the day that we finally move in. We’ve been unpacking all day, and have decided to take a lunch break in the driveway. A car pulls up outside, a lady gets out, and she walks briskly past us up to the front door.)

Me: “Hello! Can we help you?”

Realtor: *stopping dead and staring at us* “What are you doing here?”

Me: “Having lunch.”

Realtor: “You can’t be here! Please leave.”

Husband: “Why would we do that?”

Realtor: “Well, for one thing, you’re trespassing. For another, I’m about to show this house to a client.”

Me: “I don’t think so.”

Realtor: “What do you mean?”

Me: “This is our house.”

Realtor: “EXCUSE me?”

Me: “This is OUR house. As in, we bought it, and we’re moving in today.”

Realtor: “WHAT? Nobody told me! I made arrangements several days ago for today’s showing!”

Husband: “Well, we signed the paperwork six weeks ago, so…”

Realtor: “This can’t be right. Are you sure you’re at the right place?”

Me: “Um, yes.”

Realtor: “…can I still show the house to my client?”

Husband: “What? Of course not!”

Realtor: “FINE!”

(She drove off in a very bad mood.)

A Fallen Branch

, , , , | Working | September 18, 2017

(There has been a lot of anxiety in my office that our branch is in trouble. One of the vice presidents from the United States decides to pay us a visit to address our concerns.)

Vice President: “There is absolutely nothing to be worried about! Your branch is a valued member of the company. Here, I’ll show you. Here’s an organizational chart showing all of the branches.”

(We all stare at the chart and look at each other in disbelief. The vice president, not noticing anything wrong, beams at us. Finally, someone puts up his hand.)

Employee: “Um, Ms. [Vice President], our branch isn’t on that chart.”

Vice President: “What? Of course it is!”

Several Employees: “Really? Where is it, then?”

Vice President: “It’s right… um… oh.” *puts chart away, changes the subject*

(The branch closed several years later, putting a lot of people out of work.)

A Sign Of A Bad Sale

, , , , | Working | September 15, 2017

(My husband, two teenage daughters, and I have decided to go couch shopping. First, we visit a local furniture shop. The shop’s entrance is at the back of the building and require us to go down a steep flight of stairs.)

Me: “Wow, it’s a bit tricky getting down these stairs.”

Salesman: “Well, THAT’S why there’s a sign that say, ‘Watch Your Step.’ Not that I’d expect a woman to pay attention to a sign, ha ha!”

(The four of us, which, if you’re keeping track, included THREE WOMEN [as well as a very feminist guy] all stared at him in disbelief. He didn’t make a sale that day, partly because of that remark, and partly because his store’s furniture was ugly and overpriced.)

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