Unfiltered Story #101612

, , | Unfiltered | December 10, 2017

(This happened when I was training a new computer programmer. I’d asked him to make a very easy change to one of our simpler programs.)

Newbie: Where’s the documentation for this program?
Me: Sorry, there isn’t any.
Newbie: What do you mean, ‘there isn’t any’?
Me: There just isn’t. Our documentation is a bit lacking in some areas, and because this is a really simple program, someone must have decided that documentation wasn’t necessary.
Newbie: But – how am I supposed to understand what the program does?
Me: … I suggest reading the code. It’s really not that difficult, and I can answer any questions you might have.
Newbie: We should have documentation, though.
Me: Sure. And in a perfect world, we would. But we don’t.
Newbie: *stands and stares at me*
Me: Did you have anything else to ask me?
Newbie: *doesn’t say anything, keeps staring*
Me: I need to get back to work, so if you don’t have anything else –
Newbie: We should have documentation.
Me: *losing patience* YES. I KNOW. BUT WE DON’T. *goes back to work*

(He wandered off, continuing to mutter about the lack of documentation. I’m not sure if he expected me to pull it out of my a**, or what.)

Roasting Them Over Their Scanned Roast

, , , , , , , | Working | November 22, 2017

(My daughter is vegan and likes a particular brand of meatless roast. They tend to be a bit pricey, especially when a special occasion like Christmas is just around the corner, so I am very happy to see that the price at a certain store is $19.99 – approximately $5 less than their competitor is charging.)

Cashier: “That will be $24.99, plus tax.”

Me: “That’s not right; the price should be $19.99, plus tax.”

Cashier: “It’s ringing up as $24.99, ma’am.”

Me: “Yes, I know, but the price in the freezer said $19.99.”

Cashier: *stares at me without saying anything*

Me: “Can I see a manager, please?”

Manager: “The price should have been $24.99, but somebody—” *glares at one of the other employees* “—forgot to change the freezer price-tag. I guess we’ll have to honour the lower price.”

Me: “Does this store offer SCOP?”

Manager: “Excuse me?”

Me: “SCOP: Scanning Code of Practice. If an item rings up for a higher price than the one on display, I should either get $10 off the price or the item for free.”

Manager: “You must be kidding. You’re already getting a deal on this roast, and now you want an even better deal?”

Me: “Just asking.”

Manager: “We’re giving you this roast for $19.99. That should be good enough.” *leaves*

Me: “Seems to me that if I’m paying for it, you’re not ‘giving’ it to me.”

Let Me Loan You Some Marriage Advice

, , , , , | Working | November 21, 2017

(This happens when I visit my bank to discuss the possibility of getting a loan.)

Loan Officer: *gives me information about their rates*

Me: “How do those rates compare to the Homeowners’ Line of Credit that I currently have with your bank? I haven’t used it in a very long time, so I’m not sure what its current interest rate is.”

Loan Officer: *checks* “Huh, looks like you’ve got a pretty good rate for your line of credit. It’s almost the same as the other ones I quoted you.”

Me: “Never mind the loan, then. If I decided to borrow money for the project I have in mind, I’ll just use the line of credit. It’s more convenient.”

Loan Officer: “Are you sure? Shouldn’t you discuss this with your husband first?”

Me: “Um, no?”

Loan Officer: “Well, give it some thought. Go home and talk it over with your husband.”

Me: “Thanks.”

(I go home, and as I enter my house, I hear my husband talking on the phone.)

Husband: “No. Whatever my wife told you is what we’ll do. No, I don’t need for her to discuss it with me. Thank you.” *hangs up* “Guess who that was?”

Me:Ugh. You have got to be kidding.”

(The kicker is that the loan officer was a young woman who, apparently, had very old-fashioned ideas about how other women should handle money.)

Unfiltered Story #100039

, , | Unfiltered | November 18, 2017

(When my mum had just moved to our city, she needed to find a dentist for me. I was three years old, so finding one that was good with children was a priority. A co-worker recommended someone, and she made an appointment. She knew it was a mistake right from the get-go. The dentist seemed to be in a very bad mood and obviously had no patience whatsoever with children.)

Dentist: SIT STILL!
Me: *whimpers*
Dentist: Open your mouth. Wider. Oh, for Pete’s sake, what’s wrong with you? I said WIDER!
Me: *not used to strangers yelling at me, I start to cry*
Mum: Um, excuse me –
Dentist: Quiet. I don’t need to hear from you.
Mum: I BEG your pardon?
Dentist: I said be quiet.
Me: *starts to cry louder*
Dentist: Now, see what you’ve done? You’ve upset your child.
Mum: I’VE upset her?
Dentist: *tries to put fluoride on my teeth, accidentally squirts it down my throat instead*
Me: *throws up all over him*
Dentist: THAT’S IT! OUT! OUT!
Mum: You don’t have to tell me twice. Come on, sweetheart, we’re leaving.

(She found another dentist shortly afterwards who loved children and was patient and kind. She gave the co-worker royal heck later for recommending that sadist!)

IP Address:

You’ve Got Things Back To Front

, , , | Healthy | November 8, 2017

(At our pharmacy we have cashiers who run the till when customers pick up their prescriptions. The cashiers have no pharmacy school education. A woman is picking up an antibiotic for a urinary tract infection.)

Customer: *in a loud voice* “I keep getting these urinary tract infections!”

Cashier: *awkwardly* “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

Customer: *still very loud* “Do you think it’s because I wipe from back to front? They say you shouldn’t but I’ve done it all my life!”

Cashier: *trying very hard to remain professional* “Er… I really couldn’t say.”

(Meanwhile the rest of the staff are trying very hard not to laugh out loud.)

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