Showering Compliments

, , , , | Friendly | April 16, 2018

(I’m staying at my in-laws’ cabin at the lake. This cabin is in a campground that has shower buildings for everyone to use. The shower buildings also have toilets. As you’d expect, there’s one shower building for the men, and another for the women. I’ve decided that I need to answer the call of nature, so I amble over to the women’s building. Just as I’m about to do my business:)

Man’s Voice: *says something I don’t catch*

Me: *thinking* “Oh, no. I must have gotten into the men’s building by mistake! What do I do? Maybe he just needs a toilet and will be out of here quickly.”

(The shower starts.)

Me: *thinking* “Aw, great. He’s having a shower. Who knows how long he’ll be here? Maybe I should run out while he’s showering and hope he doesn’t see me.”

(Just then…)

Woman’s Voice: *giggling* “Ooh, this water is hot!”

Man’s Voice: “Not as hot as you!”

Me: *thinking* “Ah. I’m in the right building after all, but I’d still better get out of here before things get really embarrassing.” *runs*

Unfiltered Story #108897

, | Unfiltered | April 9, 2018

(I’m waiting to pick up a few parcel notifications while the guy in front of me is trying to ship a thick envelope with what he’s telling the clerks is important files)

Customer:  So with 2 day delivery it’ll get there tomorrow, right?

Clerk: Items ship out of here at the beginning of every morning, so tomorrow will be one day, and then it should arrive there monday.

Customer: Shouldn’t it be saturday?

Clerk: No sorry, the postal service doesn’t run weekends.

Customer: (Kind of annoyed looking now) Well okay, but shouldn’t today be 1 day and tomorrow be the 2nd day?

Clerk: No, as I explained parcels go out in the morning, it’s the afternoon, today won’t count.

Customer: That doesn’t seem like an honest claim then, it should be 3 day delivery, not 2. This is really important and I need it to be there tomorrow.

Clerk: You could try a courier service? The best we can do is for monday.

Customer: So they can have it there tomorrow?

Clerk: I’m not sure, as we’re not affiliated with them, you’d have to call and ask.

Customer: Well can you find out for me? And ask how much it would be?

Clerk: No sorry, that’s not my job and I have a line up behind you forming, you’ll have to do it yourself.

(Customer kind of stands there annoyed, but refuses to move out of line, which I assume means he wants some other option)

Me: You know, Purolator on 17th street east has parcels leave twice a day, once in morning and once around 4pm(It’s almost 3:30) And they can do next day delivery, though it’s fairly expensive, you should be able to catch the next shipment going out.

Customer: I don’t care how expensive it is(Then why was he asking the clerk?) I just need it there tomorrow, I’ll go speak to them since I can’t get any help here.

(He leaves, I move up next)

Clerk: Thanks for clearing that up for everyone.

Me: Yeah, well, I have no f***ing clue if any of what I told him is true, but I was getting impatient and he was being a d**k. I can only hope I’m wrong and they can’t get it there for tomorrow.

Unfiltered Story #106387

, , | Unfiltered | March 2, 2018

I’m working directing traffic, near the main bus terminal at the University. It’s very busy because this is the first week of classes and students are visiting the bookstore and the cashier to pay their fees.

I have a good friend who has been driving a Transit bus for several years, often on the University run.

My boss is standing beside me in the middle of the intersection, while I’m directing the flow of traffic. Suddenly, one of the big buses leaving the terminal, changes lanes and stops right beside me. The driver, my friend, opens his window, leans out and inquires in a serious manner, “Is this the way to downtown?”

Been Having Problems Of Late

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 26, 2018

(A friend and I have signed up for an evening class together.)

Friend: “There’s no use in both of us driving there separately; why don’t I pick you up, and we’ll drive over together?”

Me: “Sounds good!”

(On the night of the first class, I’m waiting on my driveway. The class starts at 6:30. It’s 6:25, and there’s no sign of her. Finally…)

Friend: “Here I am!”

Me: “Oh, thank goodness!” *gets in* “Was traffic bad?”

Friend: “No, why?”

Me: “Um… You’re a bit late. We’ve only got three minutes to get to class, now.”

Friend: “Really?” *checks clock* “Oh, well. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

(We arrive at the class, several minutes late. The instructor has already begun. She glares at us.)

Friend: “Sorry! I have no sense of time!”

(The same thing happens the following week, and the week after that.)

Me: “I’m going to drive myself from now on.”

Friend: “Why?”

Unhappy Annibirthentine’s Day

, , , , , , , , | Romantic | February 15, 2018

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], it’s Valentine’s Day!”

Coworker: “Not only that; it’s also my wedding anniversary.”

Me: “Aww, how romantic!”

Coworker: And it’s my birthday!”

Me: Wow! Your husband must be planning something really special, eh?”

Coworker: “Nope. I’m pretty sure he forgot.”

Me: *pause* “How could he possibly forget?”

Coworker: “I wonder that every year.”

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