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You Can Tell Them Two Times Or Five Times, But It Makes No Difference

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: Read_lots | November 22, 2022

I work in a small store that specializes in pet supplies. There are three locations that all sell more or less the same items. One of the things we sell is birdseed. It comes in jugs or bags. The bag is more than double the volume of the jug but less than $5 more in price.

We receive eight jugs and two bags of birdseed today, and my colleague calls a customer who requested that we put some aside for her. He has to leave a voicemail, as the customer doesn’t answer her phone.

About an hour after my colleague leaves for the day, I receive a call from the customer’s husband.

Me: “We received our shipment today, and we wanted to confirm that you wanted four jugs. Is that still the case? You’d save money by purchasing the bag, instead.”

Husband: “Can we get five jugs? I didn’t save my jug the last time; I recycled it. Can it be delivered tomorrow along with our food?”

Me: “I can certainly do that, but are you sure that’s what you want? If you buy two bags, you’re saving money and have roughly the same amount of birdseed. I can send you whatever you’d like. The food is ready to go—”

Husband: “I don’t have the jug anymore. What’s the price difference?”

I explain all the math — price savings as well as product volume. I state that I can send two bags tomorrow as that’s what I have to sell him.

Husband: “Oh! I’ll take five bags, then.”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry. I have two bags physically here in the store that I can sell you if you want them all tomorrow.”

Husband: “Okay! I’ll take three bags, then! That and the dog food.”

I mentally hit my head on the counter.

Me: “Sure. I’ll send you three bags. Your total for the three bags and food comes to [amount]. If you’re all set, I’ll charge the card on file, and my driver will see you tomorrow sometime.”

Husband: “Oh, yes. The credit card. Do you have my wife’s card?”

Me: “Yes. It’s on file. I’ll charge it later today, and she will receive an email receipt.”

Husband: “Wonderful! We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Me: “Have a great day!”

I called the location closest to the customer’s address. Luckily, they had a couple of bags come in, so they were able to supply the missing bag.

Why is it so hard for people to actually listen to what you tell them?!

When They Act Tough, You Call Their Bluff, Part 2

, , , , , , , | Working | November 22, 2022

When my baby was six months old, the pediatrician’s billing service sent a notice saying the insurance company refused to pay for one of his well-visits. Since it should have been covered, I called the insurance company first.

Insurance: “It’s a network thing. You needed to get a referral from the primary care doctor first.”

Me: “But we saw the primary care doctor.”

Insurance: “The claim says you visited an anesthesiologist in [Town #1].”

Me: “Uh, no. We went to the pediatrician’s office in [Town #2].”

Insurance: “Oh, I see the problem. The healthcare network’s billing agent reversed two of the numbers in the billing code. They put in 123456, but they should have input 123465. Have them resubmit the bill, and we’ll pay it.”

I called the billing center and explained the problem and that if they resubmitted the bill, they’d get paid.

Agent: “No.”

Me: “No?”

Agent: “I already submitted it, and they rejected it.”

Me: “You submitted an incorrect claim, and that’s why they rejected it.”

Agent: “It’s been submitted and rejected, and now you need to pay for the visit.”

Lather, rinse, and repeat for about two minutes.

Me: “Okay, well, have a nice day.”

I hung up, brewed myself a nice cup of tea, and played with the baby for a while. Feeling refreshed, I called the billing center back. I got the same agent.

Me: “Hi! I called before about an incorrect bill you submitted to insurance.”

Agent: *Huge sigh* “There is nothing I can do about it.”

Me: “Well, I’ve turned you in to the state insurance commission for insurance fraud.”


Me: “They said they’ll call in the next couple of days.”

Agent: “Why would you do that?”

Me: “Because you billed my insurance company for a visit to an anesthesiologist in [Town #1] that my son never went to.”

Agent: “But you—”

Me: “My son never had any surgery or any medical condition that would require an anesthesiologist. I can prove quite thoroughly that I had nothing to do with this doctor.”

Agent: “Are you serious?”

Me: “Finally, I can prove I wasn’t there because at exactly the same time you claim I was receiving services in [Town #1]… I was in my son’s pediatrician’s office twenty miles away.”

Agent: “Why are you doing this?”

Me: “By insisting my insurance should pay for that visit, when you know I was never there, that’s insurance fraud.”

Agent: “…”

Me: “…”

Agent:Fine. I’ll fix the claim!”

Me: *All sunshine* “Thank you!”

The minute the corrected claim arrived, insurance paid up.

When They Act Tough, You Call Their Bluff

Oh, Yeah, We Just Had That Installed Yesterday

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: Adriiipoo | November 19, 2022

I worked at a popular clothing store for a couple of years and had my fair share of crazy customers. But when people ask me what the weirdest thing I had to deal with was, this comes to mind first.

The store is a two-level store and always has been. It’s located in a huge mall. The top level is for men’s and children’s clothing, and the bottom level is for women’s. Each level connects with an entrance to the rest of the mall, but we have our own escalator and elevator inside the store to allow customers to move between our two levels only. The elevator is hard to find and all the way in the corner, but the escalator is right in the middle and hard to miss.

I am upstairs in the children’s section, walking out of the stockroom and heading to the elevator, when a lady stops me halfway.

Lady: “Excuse me, where is your women’s section?”

Me: “It’s downstairs.”

She looks at me all perplexed.

Lady: “But you don’t have a downstairs.”

I’m not sure what to say; we are standing literally five feet away from the escalator. I point to said escalator.

Me: “Yeah, it’s just that way.”

She turns around, looks at the escalator, and then looks back at me.

Lady: “But you’ve never had a downstairs.”

She looks a mixture of confused and irritated and is talking to me as if I’m stupid. I REALLY don’t know what to say at this point, so I pause for a couple of seconds before replying.

Me: “…well, we do now?”

She stared at me for like three seconds before turning around and getting on the escalator that would take her to this mythical land of downstairs. And I just stood there for the next ten seconds wondering what the h*** had just happened.

From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 16

, , , , , | Right | November 18, 2022

I work in a library. We have a very simple booking system for visitors who need to use our public computers. There are also clear instructions on the screen for every step in the process. If someone needs help, we will assist them, of course, but the system is built to be self-service.

I’m busy helping people at the information desk when I see a woman at a computer, waving at me. She has a boy with her who is maybe ten years old.

Patron: “Hello! Can I get some help, please?”

Child: *Trying to get her attention* “Mum.”

Me: “Absolutely! I’ll help you next!”

Child: *A little louder* “Mum!”

Patron: *To me* “Are you going to take long?”

Me: “I will be with you in a minute.”

Patron: “I don’t want to stress you out, but we’re in a hurry.”

Child: “Mum!”

I finish helping the person I’m with and head over to them, just in time to watch the boy tug at his mother’s sleeve and say:

Child: “Mum, it says on the screen what to do! You just type your number in!”

The patron finally pays attention to him and takes a moment to read the instructions.

Patron: “Oh. Oh, never mind. Looks like we don’t need any help after all.”

From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 15
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 14
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 13
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 12
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 11

I Didn’t Order These Accusations, Either

, , , , | Working | CREDIT: Nathan McConnell | November 18, 2022

Yesterday, I decided I wanted [Fast Food Chain]. I typically order on the app because it makes it easier to get everything right. If you’ve used the app or any app before, you know that all you do is order, pay, and drive there to pick it up.

I ordered my heavily modified combo box as usual. (I kid; it usually is no lettuce or tomatoes, add beans, etc.) My wife ordered two things, as well. I drove down the road for five minutes, got in the drive-thru line, and pulled up to the ordering kiosk.

Me: “I have a mobile order for Nathan.”

Employee #1: “Okay. Just come to the window.”

I went to the window, and one of the guys stared at me through the window for a minute. When he finally opened it:

Employee #1: “Steve?”

Me: “No. It’s Nathan.”

Employee #1: “Oh. Okay. Here.”

He handed me my drink.

Employee #1: “Your food will be out soon. Have you already paid for it?”

Me: *Politely* “Yes. That’s how the app works as far as I know.”

Employee #1: “I’m sorry, but I’m new.”

Me: “Yeah, no worries. You’ll get it.”

And he disappeared back into the window. A few minutes later, a different guy came to the window and silently and sternly handed me a bag of food.

Employee #2: “Here you go.”

Me: “Oh. Okay. Thank you.”

Because I’m me, and because I have food allergies, I immediately pulled over to check the bag. And it was a good thing I did because every single item was wrong — not “wrong” as in made incorrectly but “wrong” as in a completely different order. None of the items in the bag were correct except for some nacho fries. I figured, “Okay. No problem. I’ll just go inside and tell them.”

So, I went inside and spoke to the guy behind the counter.

Me: “Hey, man. I don’t think a single thing in here is right. I don’t think this is my order.”

Employee #3: “Wait… What was the name on the order?”

Me: “It’s Nathan.”

Employee #3: “Okay.”

And he walked off. The manager walked up and ripped his gloves off angrily.

Manager: “I’m sorry, what did you say the order name was?”

Me: “It was Nathan.”

Manager: “And what was the problem?”

Me: “Well, none of the items in the bag are what I ordered.”

Manager: *In an accusing voice* “I haven’t even started making Nathan yet!”

Me: “Okay? Well—”

Manager: “So, you just grabbed somebody’s order off the counter?”

Me: *Squinting* “What? No. I—”

Manager: “Did they even call your name before you took the bag?”

Me: “No. I didn’t get this from inside—”

Manager: “Then where did you get it from?!”

Me: *Pointing* “The drive-thru… They gave me my drink, and then they gave me a bag of food after a while.”

The manager was still angry at me for some reason.

Manager: “Well, I haven’t even started making Nathan yet!”

Me: “Yes. You mentioned that. But I didn’t hand myself the food, sir.”

Manager: “Well then, who gave it to you?!”

The two guys from the window stared at me from far off behind him, terrified.

Me: “Dude… I have partial face blindness. I have no idea who gave it to me. All I know is that someone at the window gave me a drink, and someone else gave me a bag of food.”

Manager: “Well, all I’m saying is that I haven’t even started making Nathan yet.”

Me: “That’s… great… I can wait at the counter for you to make my food.”

He walked away. After a few minutes, he returned, clearly still thinking I had some kind of master plant to screw over my local [Fast Food Chain].

Manager: “Here is your food.”

Me: *Thoroughly done with the night* “I appreciate it…”

…whatever this was.


Editors’ Note: Special thanks to Growing Up Autie – A Comic By Nathan McConnell for this story!