It’s A Man’s World Of Pain

, , , , , | Healthy | March 12, 2018

I have an eight-and-a-bit-month-old child, and I’ve been having some pain during sex, so I book in to see my OB-GYN.

The appointment is really straightforward and I’m told to go get a cream. I also have a birth control rod inserted whilst I’m there. I wander over to the pharmacy and hand over my script. I’m not asked for my Medicare card, but I’m asked if I have concession.

I reply no, with no more thought into the answer. I wait and collect my script and note that I’ve been charged a concession price. Not thinking too much into it, and thinking that I must have one linked to my Medicare card, I pay the $12.80 instead of $50 to $80 for my items and head back across the road.

I get the rod implanted and continue about my day, a bit perplexed how I got charged concession. It’s not until later that night when I’m reading the script again that I realise they’ve put it under the wrong name. I’m a Mrs. [My Name], and they put it under a Mr. [Same Name].

I burst out laughing that they have given a man vaginal cream and contraception, at an OB-GYN.

Fish Of The Day Is Taking All Day

, , , | Right | March 12, 2018

(I work at a counter service bistro that has half Asian cuisine, half Western/Australian dishes. I am located in a coastal town, meaning many assume we have seafood without checking the menu, even though it is pretty obvious we are not an upper-class restaurant.)

Customer: “Hi, could I order fish of the day?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but we do not have fish of the day. We have either battered and fried fish, grilled barramundi, or grilled Atlantic salmon from our regular menu.”

Customer: “What?! No. I want the fish of the day!”

Me: “We actually don’t have a fish of the day, but you can choose from the battered, barramundi, or salmon.”

Customer: *visibly angry* “What about this do you not understand? I was here last week and ordered fish of the day!”

(I have worked at this establishment for nearly two years; we have never had “fish of the day.”)

Me: “We don’t have a fish special, but there is a specials board, or the fish on the regular menu, sir.”

(My boss wanders over.)

Customer: “I want the fish of the day!”

Boss: “No, sir, we do not have fish of the day.”

Me: *desperately wanting to move on to the large line behind the customer* “Please, sir, choose either the barramundi or salmon as a special.”

Customer: “Ugh! Whatever! Just choose whichever! I want fish of the day!”

(I write down the barramundi and ring up the very grumpy customer.)

Customer: *mumbling as he walks away* “Idiots.”

(He came in the next week insisting on the same thing: fish of the day. I really wish customers would just read the menu and not assume we are like other restaurants!)

How To Avoid Your Manager

, , , , , | Working | March 12, 2018

(I am working next to my coworker in the mens’ department, restocking. Her phone begins to vibrate, so she ducks into the restroom to see who it is.)

Manager: “Hi, [Coworker], this is [Manager] calling. Did you know you were scheduled to be in at 10:00 am today? It’s 10:45.”

Coworker: “Um… I’m here. I’m in mens’.”

Manager: “Oh, wow. I didn’t see you come in!”

The Terrible-Twos And The Terrible Parents

, , , , , | Right | March 9, 2018

(I work at the self-service checkout. A mother and her young son, probably around two years old, come and start scanning their items. The son is very energetic and he starts to climb up on the part of the machine that weighs the items. A messages pops up on the screen saying that there’s an unknown item in the bagging area.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, but this part of the machine is actually a scale, so when your son is climbing around on it, it gets all confused. You won’t be able to continue to scan until he’s down from there.”

(The mom doesn’t speak very good Danish and is obviously a little confused, but she grabs her son and puts him on the floor. He immediately runs out of the self-service area and stands at the front end of the store. The mother looks after him, but then continues her scanning, so I follow the boy to keep an eye on him. Usually, kids will run over to the bakery department to look at cakes, but not this boy. When he sees I’m following him, he starts to run, laughing, towards the store exit. Even though I’m not supposed to leave the self-service area, I decide to follow him, to see if he is actually going to leave the store. I doubt that he will, but our store is placed on a very busy street that has a lot of both bikes and cars. The boy runs out of the store, and I start running after him. I almost lose him out on the sidewalk, because there are people everywhere, but I manage to grab him right before he enters the busy bike lane. I pick him up, and he grins at me. I carry him back into the store and give him to his mother.)

Me: “You better hold on to him. I just got to him before he ran out onto the road.”

Mother: “Oh, okay.”

(She picked him up and held him for the rest of the transaction. I didn’t get a thank-you.)

Even Iron Man Can’t Get This Done

, , , , , | Right | March 8, 2018

(I work at a historic site. We have been a museum for over 50 years and the site itself is several hundred years old. It was originally a home and ironworks that produced materials from the early railroads. The ironworks itself burned down in the early 1900s. Sitting at the front desk, I receive this call.)

Me: “Good morning. This is [Museum]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I have been looking at your website for a while and you seem to be what I need.”

Me: “Wonderful! Do you have questions about tours or programs?”

Customer: “No. I need some iron products created immediately, and I can pick them up from your ironworks early next week.”

Me: “Ma’am, we–”

(She interrupts me to describe these iron plates she needs, and each time I try to interject she gets louder and louder. Finally, after about seven minutes…)

Me: “Ma’am, we are a historic site. The ironworks itself burned down over 100 years ago.”

Customer: “So, the plates won’t be ready next week?”

Me: “They will not be ready ever.”

(Our website says, “historic site,” and, “museum,” all across the page.)

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