Unfiltered Story #163225

, , , | Unfiltered | September 13, 2019

(I was hit by a car, which fractured multiple bones in my leg. Unfortunately, it took multiple corrective surgeries. I was at a popular convenience store, grocery shopping with my husband and mother-in-law, using a power scooter from the store. This occurred in a baking aisle with another customer.)
Customer #1: *storming up with a worker* There she is!
Worker: What’s wrong with her?
Customer#1: She’s using a scooter!
Worker: And?
Customer #1: I want it!
Worker: Ma’am, I cannot tell another customer to just give up a scooter. She may actually need it. They are for people who have issues walking.
Customer #1: She’s just faking! I’ve seen her standing several times. Make her get out NOW!
Worker: Ma’am, I cannot. I will not ask her to give you the scooter, if you are able to walk.
Customer #1: FINE!
(She walks over and shoves me out of the scooter. The other customer, a tall muscular guy, comes over and yells as he helps me back in.)
Customer #2: What the h*** is wrong with you, lady?!
Customer #1: She’s obviously faking! She’s too young to be needing a scooter! I should get it, since I’m obviously old enough to need one!
Customer #2: Lady, stop being a witch and leave her alone!
(Customer #1 grabs my arm and tries to yank me back out of the scooter, and customer #2 holds me in place, while me and him both yell at her to let go. The worker leaves and comes back with security, who hauls her away. I see her in handcuffs at the front and go up to her.)
Me: Ma’am, I’m sorry for the earlier confusion. *rolls up pant leg to show multiple surgery lines* I do need this scooter, because I was hit by a car and I’m still relearning how to walk. All three bones in my leg were fractured in multiple places, and I’m lucky to even be alive.
Customer #1: YOU’RE STILL FAKING IT!
(She lunges again, and the cops took my statement. She was charged with assault. The store insisted on giving me a $50 gift card for my trouble.)

Getting Through This Is Not As Easy As Pie

, , , , , | Right | July 23, 2019

(I am in a coffee shop with my housemate and her dog. We are working on cover letters for applications. A man comes in carrying a peacoat. It’s eighty degrees outside here now, and only going to get hotter. He approaches us.)

Man: *with peacoat* “Hey, y’all wanna buy this peacoat? Ten bucks. I don’t need it no more; it’s summer. Ten bucks.”

Us: “No, thanks.” *returns to our work*

Man: “How about for a piece of pie?”

Me: “Well, it would have to fit one of us. I don’t know if it would fit either of us. It’s too big for her—“ *gesturing to roommate* “—and I have pretty big boobs.”

Man: “Naw, naw, it’ll fit, it’ll fit. You’ll see.”

Me: “Well, okay. Let’s see.” *tries on the peacoat, it fits*

Man & Roommate: “It fits perfectly!”

Me: “Let me look at it in the restroom.” *looks in the mirror, then returns to the table* “Let me look it up online and find out about it.” *checks the label, does a Google search*

Man: “It’s real wool. One hundred percent. That’s a nice coat.”

Me: *not wanting to rip off the man, or overpay* “Hmm, well, I am finding anywhere from sixty to seventy dollars to over one hundred dollars, which means it might be… ten or fifteen at [Thrift Store]?”

Man: “At least twenty at [Thrift Store]. At least. And think about it this way. You don’t have to go to [Thrift Store].”

Me: “That is true. Yeah, I’ll take it. What kind of pie?”

Man: “Coconut cream. And, uh, and, uh, a frappe.”

Me: *joking* “You said pie!”

(The man goes to order his coconut cream and frappe.)

Shop Girl: “Okay. Got it.”

Man: *gesturing with his arm sweep over the whole restaurant* “Uh, girl! Girl! Uh, girl! She was gonna pay…”

Me: *have silently slunk up behind the man* “I’m here.”

(I insert the card into the chip reader and decide to leave a tip.)

Me: *still teasing* “Are you sure you didn’t get that from [Thrift Store]? Or maybe a clothing bank? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

Man: “No, it was my father’s. It was my father’s. I just don’t want it no more.”

Me: “Okay. Thanks for the coat.”

(I sit down to begin working again. A woman wearing a bicycle helmet crouches down and gets right in my face.)

Woman: “You should not have taken that coat from that man. I’ll give you your money back for the pie and coffee if you give that man his coat back. That was a rip-off. You are just b****y.”

Man: *overhearing at the counter while claiming his pie* “What about the coat? It fits her perfectly!”

Me: “You might want to mind your own business in the future, and you also want to refrain from calling other women b****es.”

(The woman goes to another part of the coffee shop, and the shop girl comes over.)

Shop Girl: “Was she bothering you? I’m so sorry.”

Me: “No, she wasn’t bothering me. He offered to sell me his peacoat for pie and coffee, and I took him up on it. This woman told me he was ripping me off and called me b****y.”

Shop Girl: “What woman?”

(The woman raises her hand, as if in class. The shop girl crosses the cafe to talk to her.)

Woman: “I would never do that. I would never rip off the homeless or the poor or destitute. You ripped that man off. I’m not a bad person like that.”

Me: “He offered to give me that peacoat for pie and coffee, which was ten dollars. I looked up that coat online and it would probably cost around that at Goodwill. Pie and coffee was the deal he offered; it was what he wanted.”

Woman: *sarcastically* “Ooooh, so generous!”

Me: “Well, why don’t you run after him, then? He just left; you could probably catch him. Go give him a hundred dollars.”

Shop Girl: “He’s not homeless. He comes in here every week, trying to sell people things or give people things for pie and coffee. He gets angry and bothers the customers when they say no. He’s been a nuisance, honestly. The manager has talked about banning him. Anyway, he’s not homeless.”

Woman: “Well, I would just never do that. I don’t go around ripping people off.”

Me: “And I don’t go around getting in people’s faces, but I’ll make an exception this one time. You get out of here with your sanctimonious self. Go on. Just go!” *gestures to door*

(The woman leaves in silence.)

Shop Girl: “Please don’t let that keep you from coming in here again.”

Me: “No, next time I’ll come and tell you right away when a strange customer calls me a b****. I believe that’s a kick-out-able offense.”

Shop Girl: “Oh, definitely. Nobody should be calling anybody that around here.”

(Point of the story: I got a peacoat for a piece of pie on pie day — 3/14!)

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We Can Interpret From This That They Really Need Their Spring Break

, , , , , , | Friendly | March 10, 2019

(My roommate and I are in separate rooms while talking. We’re both in our late twenties or early thirties, but we have a running joke that we’re going deaf because of frequent exchanges like these.)

Roommate: “Only eleven days until spring break!”

Me: *with my head in the refrigerator, looking for a snack* “I’m so ready. Why can’t it be next week?!”

Roommate: *pause* “Did you just say, ‘Why do you hate me?’”

Me: *standing up and looking through the door at him* “No. I said, ‘Why can’t it be next week?'”

Roommate: “Oh.” *another pause* “I just had my urine checked last year, and it was fine.”

Me: *staring at him, trying to figure out what that has to do with anything, then it clicks and I start cracking up*

Roommate: “What?!”

Me: “I thought you said you had your urine checked instead of your hearing!” *still dying of laughter*

Roommate: “Oh, my God.” *shouts to his boyfriend, who is an American Sign Language interpreter* “Hey, babe! We’re gonna need your interpreting services a lot sooner than we originally thought!”

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Customers Get Icy Over Anything

, , , , , | Right | January 23, 2019

(I am another customer in line behind this… interesting customer at a popular coffee shop.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a tall mocha and the lemon pound cake.”

Barista: “Okay, so, I’ve got one tall mocha and the iced lemon pound cake! Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: “No! No! No! I don’t want my lemon pound cake served on ice! I just want it regular, out of the case here!”

Barista: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am, I must have not said it right; the lemon pound cake has a thin icing on it, and it’s officially called ‘iced lemon pound cake.’ It’s not served over ice or anything.”

Customer: “Well, you should change the f****** name! It’s misleading! I haven’t had my coffee yet, and neither has anyone else here! How can we be expected to know that?!”

Barista: “I’m so sorry, ma’am, I understand what you’re saying. Sadly, I don’t have control over the names of our products, since that is decided by corporate.”

Customer: “That’s not my f****** problem! I deserve it free now!”

Barista: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “F*** you, then!”

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Going Toe To Toe With Payday

, , , , , | Right | December 9, 2018

(I am working the reception desk at my vet clinic. Our policy is to not schedule appointments for clients who have large outstanding bills. I am relatively inexperienced at appointment scheduling, and I really should have asked the client’s name before telling her what we had available. This happens on a Wednesday. The phone rings.)

Me: “[Clinic]. This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Client: “Hi. My cat may have injured his toe; do you have any openings on Saturday?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we are closed this Saturday, but we do have an opening on Monday morning at eight o’clock.”

Client: “I’ll take it.”

Me: “Great. Can I have your name, please?”

Client: “It’s [Client].”

(I pull up her account and see that she has an outstanding balance of well over $1000. Someone even flagged her account to make sure we don’t provide any more services to her until she pays us.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we unfortunately cannot schedule an appointment for you until you pay off a significant portion of your balance.”

Client: “I’m going to make a payment on Friday.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t schedule you until that payment is made.”

Client: “But I don’t get paid until Friday, and by then, that Monday opening will be taken!”

Me: “While that particular appointment may be taken by Friday, we have other openings next week. However, I cannot schedule you until you have paid off a significant portion of your balance.”

(This goes on for another two or three rounds of her saying she’ll make a payment on Friday and me reiterating that I can’t schedule her until she pays. Finally, I convince her that I’m really not going to schedule her appointment until she pays us.)

Client: “Well, I guess my cat will just have to suffer, then!”

Me: “Goodbye, ma’am.”

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