Pick A Better Habit Or It’s Your Loss

, , , , , , , | Friendly | March 28, 2020

(When my nephew is little he picks his nose until it bleeds CONSTANTLY. Nothing we nor the doctor do will stop him. Even painting his nails with medicine the doctor recommends barely helps.

One year, when he is still in this stage, my parents and I take him to the Fred Hall Sportsman Show. It’s an annual California show for people who fish, hunt, hike, and generally love the outdoors.

We’re passing a booth run by an older man who sees my nephew with his finger back up his nose despite us telling him to stop. The man walks up to my nephew holding out his right hand, revealing that his index and middle finger have been amputated at the knuckle.)

Man: “Do you know how I lost these? By picking my nose.”

(My nephew instantly took his finger out of his nose and never put it back up there. He still talks about that now that he’s in his early thirties, laughing about it. Thank you, sir, for getting him to stop picking his nose. Now, we just need to find another man with amputated fingers to talk to my great-nephew. No, not my nephew’s son — his sister’s.)

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They Have A Band On Their Wrist And A Chip On Their Shoulder

, , , , | Right | March 11, 2020

(I am volunteering at a convention where people are given wristbands to wear instead of badges. I am standing at one of the entrances, and my job is to stop people if I can’t see their wristbands. Whenever someone passes me, I look at their wrists to check for a wristband. At one point, two young women come out holding hands. As usual, I look at their wrists as they pass. They notice and stop.)

Woman #1: “Excuse me, do you have a problem with us?”

Me: “Oh, I’m—”

Woman #2: “There’s nothing wrong with two people in love.”

Me: “I know, I’m just—”

Passerby: “This city is full of LGBT people; you’ll just have to deal with it! Otherwise, get the f*** out.”

Me: “Look, I’m just checking for wristbands, which you clearly have. I don’t have a problem with you.”

Woman #1: “Oh…”

Me: “Enjoy the show.”

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Turning Being Cheap Into An Artform

, , , , | Right | February 20, 2020

(I am an artist and this is about my first convention, about ten years ago — around 2010. I am very nervous and because I don’t know what to do the whole day, I decide to make an art piece, in the hopes it attracts people. It does and it helps my sales a bit. The piece I am making is A3 sized and I start it at 9:00 am. I finish at 4:00 pm. A few people visit me throughout the day to see my progress.)

Lady: “Oh, you finished! It looks wonderful!”

Me: “Thank you.”

Lady: “I saw you started this piece this morning and I was amazed you finished it this fast.”

Me: “The atmosphere really gave me energy.”

Lady: “Let me buy this from you.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but I don’t sell originals. Only prints.”

Lady: “What? Don’t be silly! I’d pay a good price for it. Here, let me pay you 5€.”

Me: “No, ma’am, I really don’t sell my originals. Maybe you can find something on my table that interests you? The prints are quite affordable.”

Lady: “Oh, come on. I like this piece. How about 6€?” 

Me: “Ma’am, I worked all day on this. And I don’t sell originals. If I would, I couldn’t offer these affordable prices on the prints.”

Lady: “Then what do you want? 10€? It’s not worth 10€; it’s just a kid’s drawing!”

(I am twenty-six years old.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to sell this. I can have it made as a print for you and ship it to you, if you’d like that?”

Lady: “No, I want the original. It’s quite clear you don’t know how things work around here. You won’t make any money as an artist if you go on like this!”

(The lady left. I may not be a world-famous illustrator, but I do know my worth.)

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Unfiltered Story #186253

, , | Unfiltered | February 20, 2020

i run my own booth at conventions and dont mind haggeling with customers

Customer: starts opening her backpack and asks “would you trade something for this copy of twilight?” The customer pulls out this ratty copy and tries to hand it to me.

Me: “no thanks I don’t really like twilight”

Customer: “what how come I really want to trade”

Me: “sorry but I prefer books that are good.” A second costumer starts snickering nearby.

Customer: starts pulling out 2nd book in worse shape. “then how about breaking dawn”

Me: “not really helping your case” the customer scampers off and we joke about it with the customer that had been laughing.

The next day I have a group of people looking around in front of me and I hear a voice from the back asking their friend “hey I wonder if they would barter?”

Me: “yes you can barter”

2nd customer “it’s not a wise bartering tactic to let people know they can barter”

Me: “thats true but it’s better to make something then nothing” he nods and goes back to browsing. I finally see the person that had asked the question and it was the same girl that tried to trade me her books.

Customer: “this is my first time bartering”

Customers friend: “that’s right so she’s level 1 at battering” and she starts giggling.

Customer: “how much is this?”

Me: “those are normally $12 or 2 for $20.”

Customer: “will you take $7 for it”

Me: “How about $10?”

Customer: “How about $5?” Her friend starts laughing

Me: “uhh how about $9?”

Customer: “$5.50”

Me: “umm no, back to $10”

Customers friend: “you should just take the $9”

Customer: “$5.50”

Me: “How about this $9 and you don’t have to pay sales tax if you pay with cash.” (note if anyone pays in cash I don’t charge sales tax because I don’t keep change and it’s to much of a hassle)

Customer “$5.50”

Customers friend: “just take the $9 with no tax already your such a noob” with that both me and her friend start laughing and she finally agrees. She hands me a $20 bill and says, “remember you agreed to $9.”

Me: “I know I’m good to my word once an agreement is made.”

Not-So-Clearly Marked Markers

, , | Right | February 14, 2020

(I’m at a convention selling art supplies, including special alcohol art markers. For easy calculating, you can say that one art marker is five dollars, five markers has an offer of 20 dollars, and ten markers are 40 dollars. People often find them expensive; we, of course, understand and never pressure anyone. We also sell cases you can save the markers in: a case for 36 markers for ten dollars and a case for 72 markers for 15 dollars — also a special offer. The prices are mentioned near the products.)

Girl: “Wait, a case for 72 markers for 15 dollars?! I have to get that!”

(My father sells her the case; she uses a card, so we get a small fee on our side. The fee is small, so it means less profit for us. It’s a loss we calculated.)

Girl: “Great!” *walks over to me* “Can I see your markers? Which ones do you use the most?” 

(I talk to the girl and she mentions that she really wants the colours I have suggested. Since it’s not uncommon with us for people to buy one thing first and come back later, I’m thinking we’re up for a second sale. The girl starts putting markers in the case. When she reaches a third of the case, I walk to my dad.)

Me: *whispering* “She seems to have quite a budget.”

Father: “Well, she paid with a card; maybe she saved up. That happens pretty often.”

Me: “True.”

(Still, it feels off. The case is now half full. The girl is still happily browsing.) 

Me: “Dad, that’s a lot of markers. I know I shouldn’t judge, but she’s very young. She’s not thinking she gets the case and gets to pick her own markers, right?” 

Father: “Of course not! A single marker is five dollars! Anyone can conclude you can’t get a case of 72 markers for 15 dollars. Of course she knows that!”

(To save time, my father starts calculating the sale price. He has to do this manually, because of the special offers. He comes to a nice amount; a really good value for those markers.) 

Father: “Hey, I went ahead and calculated the sale price for you. If you want, you can pay now and keep on browsing at your own pace.”

(The girl stops and turns pale.)

Girl: “Pay?”

Father: *uneasy* “Yes… for the 72 markers?” 

Girl: “Eh… Oh… I thought… I mean… I misunderstood. I thought… I mean… I’ll put them all back.” 

(It becomes clear that the girl did think she could get hundreds of dollars of value for 15 dollars! My father also expects she will want a refund for the case, so he also takes the money out of our till — we can’t return it to a card. Indeed, she quietly asks if she can return the case, as well. We give the refund, having lost several cents and a lot of time… not to mention that the girl misplaces quite a few markers, so we have to check everything, as well. The second day of the convention, we discuss the event again.)

Me: “I’ll add a disclaimer with the cases: ‘markers not included.’”

Father: “Come on. Surely she is the only one. This won’t happen again.” 

(Later that day:)

Girl #2: “If I get that case for 36, can I pick my own colours or will you pick the colours for me?”

Me: “You can pick your own colours, but just to be clear, the price is for the case only. There are no markers included.” *points at disclaimer*

Girl #2: “I have to pay for the markers separately?!”

(Next convention, the disclaimer will be in bold and red. With arrows. And exclamation marks!)

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