A Sign Of Information Overload

, , , , | Right | April 6, 2019

(Over the years, I have met several annoying or stupid customers, but never have I encountered a customer who was such perfect “Not Always Right” material as the one in my friend’s story. This friend works at a petrol station. In most Dutch gas stations, you fill your tank and then enter the shop to pay for it. This station has a small bakery inside the shop and a sign clearly saying that you can pay for your fuel at the bakery. A woman enters and walks past the sign, clearly pushing it aside. She stands looking around, saying nothing and sighing, annoyed.)

Coworker: “Can you find everything, ma’am?”

Woman: *continues to sigh, not saying anything*

Coworker: “If you need to pay for your fuel, you can do that at the bakery.”

Woman: “Well, there should be a sign telling me that! How should I know this?”

Coworker: “There is a sign, ma’am. You just walked past it. Didn’t you see?”

Woman: “But I’m getting so much information fired at me the whole day! You can’t expect me to read all of that!”

(Is this stupid, lazy, or both?)

This Sale Is Just Winging It

, , , , , | Right | April 5, 2019

(A customer approaches our self-serve wing bar and points to an ad in our ad flyer that says that “crispy glazed wings” are on sale.)

Customer: “Which flavor is this?”

Me: “It’s all of them, sir.”

Customer: “Yeah, but which one is this?”

Me: “It means every flavor is on sale, sir.”

Customer: *tapping the ad very hard with his finger* “But which one is THIS?!”

Me: “Crispy glazed wings?”

Customer: “Yeah! THIS!”

Me: “‘Crispy glazed wings’ does not refer to any particular flavor. It means every single flavor we have is on sale.”

Customer: “WHICH ONE IS IT?!”

Me: “All of them!”

Customer: *tosses the flyer on the ground and stomps away* “F****** a**hole!”

A Jumbo A**hole

, , , , | Right | April 5, 2019

(I work in the meat and seafood section of my store. This week, two-pound bags of medium shrimp are on sale. Large and jumbo shrimp are regular price. A customer walks up from the front of the store holding a receipt and a bag of jumbo shrimp.)

Customer: “Hey, these are supposed to be on sale, but they just charged me full price.”

(He holds up his receipt and points to the entry for jumbo shrimp.)

Me: “That kind isn’t on sale this week, sir. Only the medium shrimp are on sale and you’ve got the jumbo right there.”

Customer: “But it says they’re on sale in the ad.”

Me: “No, it says medium are on sale. Not this kind.”

Customer: “No, it does say shrimp are on sale!”

(I grab an ad flyer off the corner of the counter and flip to the seafood sales page. I point to the part that says, “medium.”)

Me: “See right here? It says, ‘medium shrimp,’ on sale.”

(The customer points to the word “shrimp” next to the word “medium.”)

Customer: “It says, ‘shrimp.’”

Me: “It says, ‘medium shrimp.’”

Customer: “But it says, ‘shrimp’!”

Me: “It says one particular kind of shrimp, not all of them.”

Customer: “BUT IT SAYS, ‘SHRIMP’!”

Me: “One kind of shrimp can be on sale without all of them being on sale!”

Customer: “THAT’S TOO CONFUSING! IT SAYS, ‘SHRIMP,’ SO I WANT SHRIMP!”

Me: *face-palming* “You’re welcome to wait until these are on sale again, sir.”

(He slams the bag down on the ground, causing it to break open and send shrimp flying all over the floor before walking away.)

Coworker: “What the h*** was that all about?”

Me: “Apparently, he felt entitled to a sale that doesn’t exist because he doesn’t understand the concept of using words to narrow down large categories of objects.”

Coworker: “F****** adjectives. How do they work?”

Fret About The Wet

, , , , | Right | April 4, 2019

(It’s about 4:00 in the morning and I’ve just finished mopping the store so it’s clean for the next day to start. I have several of the bright yellow “Caution: Wet Floor” signs spread throughout the very small store, including right when you walk in the entrance. A lady comes in and sees me putting the mop and bucket to the side as she comes in and starts talking to me. She is standing directly next to one of the bright yellow signs.)

Customer: “Excuse me. The floor is wet.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is; I just finished mopping.” *gestures to the mop and bucket I’m still pushing to the side*

Customer: “But the floor is wet. I thought you should know the floor is wet.”

Me: “Yes… I just finished mopping, ma’am. And that is why there are also wet floor signs up.”

Customer: “Well, you should do something about the floor being wet. At least warn people or put up signs.”

(I’m just baffled, and I think about pointing out the wet floor signs again, but I realize she isn’t listening to me, anyway, so I just smile and go back up to my register where I wait for her to check out.)

Customer: *upon leaving* “Make sure you put up some signs or cones about the floor or someone could sue your a**!”

A Marriage That Makes You Need Wine

, , , , , , | Right | April 4, 2019

(My husband is the bad customer in this story. While at a grocery store, we’re checking out, and I’m paying using an app on my phone. I have a bottle of wine.)

Cashier: “Can I have your ID, please?”

Me: “Sure. Oh, you know what? I didn’t even bring my wallet; I’m so used to paying via the app. Don’t worry about the wine.”

Husband: “Here, I’ll buy it.”

Me: “You can’t; it’s against the law. We both have to have an ID.”

Cashier: “Thank you, ma’am. She’s right, sir.”

Husband: “I’m not buying it for you; I’m buying it for me.”

Cashier: “Um…”

Me: “She can’t sell it to you. It’s against the law.”

Husband: “Okay, so, what if I just go to another checkout lane and buy it. No harm done, right?”

Cashier: *visibly winces*

Me: “Well, there is, now that you’ve told her that’s your plan. If she lets you do that, she can be in big trouble.”

Husband: “WHY CAN’T I JUST BUY YOU YOUR WINE?”

Me: “Please go wait over there.”

Cashier: “I am so sorry, ma’am.”

Me: “Sorry for what? That I married a guy who doesn’t listen? You have a great day.”

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