Being Cross-The-Street Wise

, , , , , | | Right | July 2, 2019

(I’m on the bus, heading to work. The driver stops for a woman who doesn’t quite get on the bus.)

Woman: “Are you going downtown?”

Driver: “No, that bus stops across the street.”

Woman: “I need to get downtown.”

Driver: “Okay, you’ll have to cross the street.”

Woman: “If I get on the bus, will you take me downtown?”

Driver: “No, ma’am.”

Woman: “Why?! Google says [route number] goes downtown!”

(I don’t wanna be late for work, so I go near the door.)

Me: “Cross the freaking street! We’ve got places to be!”

(The woman glares at me but walks towards the crosswalk. I turn to the bus driver.)

Me: “Sorry, I should have been nicer. Do you need to throw me off?”

Driver: “H*** nah! If you hadn’t already paid, I’d give you a free ride.”

Un-fee-sibly Unhelpful

, , , , , | | Working | July 2, 2019

(I buy image editing software on a subscription basis, paying $20 monthly for it for school. The school year ends and I no longer need the software, so I do an online chat with a customer service representative. He says he has ended my subscription with no cancellation fee. I thank him and go about my business… until I receive a bill for my subscription the next month. I do another online chat with their customer service.)

Me: “Hi. I believe there was a mistake with your system. I ended my subscription with you last month but I was billed for it this month.”

Rep #1: “Yes, that was the payment for your image editing software.”

Me: “Yes, I know, but I ended that subscription last month.”

Rep #1: “I would like to inform you that your credit card information was updated so your subscription was renewed.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that didn’t happen. I did not change anything with my bank account or update my credit card info with you at all. That is incorrect.”

Rep #1: “I would like to inform you that the subscription gets renewed automatically; since you were in a one-year commitment you were billed for the subscription.”

Me: “That’s not what the last rep told me. He told me my subscription had ended. I have the transcript of our conversation to prove that.”

Rep #1: “I have checked out your previous case and the representative said that the subscription was suspended and it would be renewed upon your credit card information being updated.”

Me: “No, that’s not what he said.” *copies and pastes his post saying the subscription was cancelled into the chat* “That is what he said, verbatim, copied from the transcript. It clearly says the subscription was cancelled.”

Rep #1: “I apologize for the inconvenience, but if you have the funds in your bank account you will be charged for your subscription.”

Me: “But I ended the subscription, so I shouldn’t have been charged.”

Rep #1: “Do you want to cancel your subscription now?”

Me: “Yes, please, but I also want to be refunded the money you took without my permission after the subscription should’ve been cancelled.”

Rep #1: “One moment while I transfer you to our cancellations department.”

Rep #2: “Hi. I would like to inform you that by cancelling today you will be ending your subscription early and be subject to a $135.00 cancellation fee. If you would like to continue, I can offer you one month of free service.”

Me: “The first representative I talked to said there was no cancellation fee.”

Rep #2: “As the subscription is annually based with lower monthly fees, if you cancel the subscription within the commitment, you will have to pay a cancellation fee. Would it be helpful for you to continue your annual membership, if I could go one step further and give you two months of service for free?”

Me: “I was told the subscription had been ended already.”

Rep #2: “The subscription was not cancelled; the payment for the subscription was processing from your bank.”

Me: “That’s not what I was told.”

Rep #2: “The payment for the subscription was processing and it was in a suspended state; you will have to pay the cancellation fee if you cancel before the commitment ends.”

Me: “But I contacted your representative specifically to cancel the subscription, and he said that it was cancelled. He also told me there was nothing I needed to do: no cancellation fee, no paying for May.”

(We go back and forth for about thirty minutes, with him repeating that I need to pay the cancellation fee and continuing to offer me more months for free. I continue to decline, telling him my subscription should’ve been cancelled. Eventually, after forty-five minutes…)

Me: “Either your rep didn’t charge me the fee or he didn’t cancel the subscription. Either way, that’s not my fault, but I was told the subscription was cancelled and I would not have to do anything else, so that’s the commitment I expected from your company. I do not expect to pay a fee for something that should have happened in April, that I was told would not have a fee.”

Rep #2: “We will not able to cancel the subscription without a fee; if you cancel the subscription now, you will be charged a cancellation fee.”

Me: “If you cannot do what I ask and end my subscription now, without the fee that I was told I would not have to pay, then elevate me to someone who can.”

Rep #2: “As per the terms and conditions, we will not able to cancel the subscription without a fee; however, I will go ahead and escalate this case to my higher- level support team to check if we can waive off the cancellation fee. You will receive the confirmation email within two or three business days.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(Two weeks go by with no word from the company. I contact them back twice, with the last time getting lucky.)

Me: “Hello. I’m involved in an ongoing issue where my subscription failed to be cancelled and have been told to pay a fee I was initially told would be waived.”

Rep #3: “I’m so sorry to hear that. I will do everything I can to help you today!”

([Rep #3] got my subscription cancelled and the fee waived within 24 hours! I honestly expected to see more charges appear on my bank account, so I blocked any withdrawals coming from them, just in case. Amazing how different some people working for the same company can be.)

You Can Go To Bell!

, , , , | | Right | July 1, 2019

(I work in a small deli. It’s a quiet afternoon and I have my back turned to the counter while I’m cleaning the chicken oven. I get the feeling I’m being watched.)

Me: “Oh, hi! Didn’t know you were there. What can I get you?”

Customer: “I want [product].”

Me: “Okay.” *gets the item, prices it for them*

Customer: “You should get some kind of noise maker so you know when people are here.”

Me: “Well, we do have a bell, right there on the bench. Or you could say hi, and I’ll know you’re there.”

Customer: “I don’t see a bell.”

(It’s literally right in front of them, and I point that out as calmly as possible.)

Customer: “Well, I bet it isn’t loud enough; I doubt you would hear it.”

Me: “Oh, I can assure you that when someone bothers to use it instead of just staring at my back, I can definitely hear it. Anything else I can get you?”

Customer: “You should get a better bell.”

(So many customers seem to think I have eyes in the back of my head. How hard is it to say hi or tap a bell?)

One Door Closes, Another One Stays Closed

, , , , | | Related | July 1, 2019

(I have reached home after class and as my parents have gone to an aunt’s house, I try to use my key on the door. Our house has two front doors, and as I try to open the door with the key I have, it turns out to be bolted from the inside. Usually, when my parents won’t be home at the time I return, they unbolt the door and leave through the other door. Now, apparently, they’ve left through the main door and forgot to unbolt my door. Forced to wait out in the sweltering heat, I try calling my parents and leave about six missed calls — petty, I know, but I just hate being locked out. With no answers, I finally text my brother.)

Me: “Don’t Mom and Dad have their phones on them?”

Brother: “They must have, why?”

Me: “I’ve been trying to call them for a long time and they’re not answering.”

Brother: “What’s wrong?”

(I’m tired of waiting outside and just want to make sure they haven’t left a key of the other door for me.)

Me: “The door’s bolted. Can you please tell them to call me?”

Brother: “Did you try ringing the doorbell?”

(I was about to type an annoyed reply when realization struck me. The front door opened and my brother was waiting with a smug grin. He had said that he wouldn’t be going with them but I had completely forgotten. An hour later, I had to explain to my worried dad why I’d left him six missed calls while he was taking a nap. I learned not to fly off the handle like that again.)

A Boy Diagnosing A Boy

, , , , , , | | Healthy | July 1, 2019

(My three-year-old son has just spent a week in hospital following surgery on his elbow. The team of doctors has done their rounds and the consultant has left his young resident — who looks about twenty — to give us our final instructions for discharge.)

Me: “So, is he going to need rehab or physiotherapy? Or is he right to resume all his regular activity?”

Resident: “Yeah, he’s fine to do everything a normal, healthy three-year-old boy does. No worries.”

Me: *very happy, as getting this child to be still and rest in hospital all week has been no easy feat* “Great! So, running, jumping, climbing trees, sandpit, and playground is all okay?”

Resident: “Oh, no! He can’t do any of that!”

Me: “So, what, exactly, is it that you think a normal, healthy three-year-old boy does?”

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