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Go Stand On The Beach And Wait

, , , , | Right | November 18, 2022

I run a small shop online for items that I make by hand. At least once every single week, I get messages from customers who think that the US is the only country in the world, even though I clearly state that orders are being shipped from the UK. They always say something along the lines of:

Client: “It’s been five days, where’s my order?”

Needless to say, I have lost my patience several times now and “jokingly” asked if I should fling their package across the ocean.

Bread-er Pay Attention Next Time

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2022

I was working at the checkout. I placed a carton of a dozen eggs in a bag and then laid a loaf of bread on top. The customer freaked out.

Customer: “You’ll break my eggs!”

He grabbed the bag and then… put the eggs on the bread. But I could see the look on his face as he realised it was BREAD I had put on the eggs. But he was too embarrassed to admit his mistake and had to put the eggs on the bread.

I was trying not to laugh.

She Definitely Won’t Be Cast As A Good Client

, , , | Right | November 17, 2022

I’m a portrait photographer. Two college girls asked me to do a very quick session with them so they would have headshots for an audition. It was a bit of a rush, but I managed to schedule them, and we did the shoot a week before they needed them.

The photos were uploaded on Tuesday so they would have plenty of time to choose a photo to print. They just needed to tell me which un-watermarked photos to send them. The first girl picked out her choice the next day.

Me: “When is your friend going to come in?”

Client: “She’s a really bad texter. I’ll get back to you when I hear something.”

I didn’t hear from either of them until Friday. After a few failed attempts to contact the “bad texter,” I wrote her friend.

Me: “Doesn’t your friend need her photo tomorrow?”

Client: “I’ll ask her when I see her.”

The day of the audition came and went. I asked the one I could contact what her friend did for a headshot. It turns out that her friend just printed a photo with a watermark. How professional of her.

The Call Of The Wild

, , , , , | Right | November 16, 2022

My store has an item request system; customers can leave their contact details with us so we can call them to alert them when an item they want is back in stock. Seems painless, right?

After receiving stock, I make a couple of phone calls for a semi-popular item. I leave a message to one customer with the typical “This is [Store], we have [item], call us back at [number] or come see us during [hours]” spiel, and think nothing of it.

About a half-hour later, the phone rings.

Me: “[Store]?”

Customer: “Who is this?”

Me: “This is [Store]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I got a call from this number.”

Me: “Did they leave a message saying why they called?”


Me: “Can I ask you your name, please?”

Customer: “It’s [Customer].”

That clicks.

Me: “Right, yes! That was me. I called to let you know we have [item] back in stock—”

Customer: “I don’t know what— Don’t call me! I don’t want any of your stuff!”

Me: “Oh. Well, you did leave your name and number with us in case we got that item in again. Did you still want—”

And the line goes dead. I have just enough time to tell my questioning coworker that I was hung up on AND accused of being a telemarketer before the phone starts ringing again.

Me: *To my coworker* “I’m gonna let you take it this time.”

Coworker: *Trying not to laugh* “[Store], how can I help you? Yeah, yes. Let me hand you over to my coworker.”

I take the phone and brace for impact.

Me: “This is [My Name], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, [My Name], this is [Customer] again. I’m sorry for being short with you. I hung up the phone and thought, ‘Oh, [Customer], you idiot!’ Can you put [item] aside for me?”

Good Friends Don’t Let Friends End Up On NAR

, , , , , | Right | November 15, 2022

I am leaving work just after closing. The store I work at is in a strip mall, and directly next to us is a chain thrift store location, which I know closes at the same time we do.

As I head to my car, I see a woman standing outside the doors to the thrift store holding a large flatscreen TV, which I assume she is either trying to donate (donations are around the back and there are signs everywhere) or return (this thrift store chain does not accept returns). However, this woman seems determined.

Standing about a dozen feet away next to a parked car is a second woman. She has the car door already opened and is calling over to [Woman #1], clearly trying to convince her to leave.

Woman #2: “Come on, they’re closed!”

Woman #1: “No, they’re not! I can see people moving around in there!”

Woman #2: “Girl, those are employees! They’re just cleaning and stuff. Let’s go!”

[Woman #1] tried to whip around, presumably to continue arguing with her friend, but the motion made the TV slip from her arms, causing its screen to shatter spectacularly as it hit the pavement face-down.

Both women just stood there and, not wanting to get caught staring, I got in my car and left. I do feel kind of bad for [Woman #1] that her TV broke, but I’ll never forget the exhausted, “Why are you like this?” tone with which [Woman #2] said, “Those are employees.”

It gave me strength to see that there are some customers out there who aren’t idiots and are willing to call out their friends for being idiots.