The Machines Cannot Take Money From Stupid People

, , , , | Right | January 2, 2020

(I call off work for stomach issues and go to the superstore a few blocks away from my house. I go to the self-checkout and occasionally — especially in the mornings — they have their machines as credit/debit only. That is fine by me as the only cash I carry is my gas money. I walk to the area and see a sign that says, “Debit or credit only.” The machines have a red light around the screen that says, “Card mode only.” A pop-up window also explains the machine only takes debit or credit; no cash payment will be accepted and there is no cashback available. And the final whack of that dead horse is an employee telling everyone she sees that there is only credit or debit payment allowed at self-checkout.)

Employee: “Just so you know, ma’am, these machines only take credit or debit.”

Me: “Okay, thank you.” *she goes off to continue telling people, so I whisper to myself* “Wow. This is overkill. I know people can be dumb but who could possibly miss all these—”

(As if on cue, behind me there’s a woman trying to pay for her things, and she flags down the girl employee.) 

Woman: “Why won’t this machine take my money?”

Employee: *unsurprised and unfazed by this question* “Because these machines only take credit or debit card right now, ma’am.”

Me: “Welp.”

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Dramas In Pajamas

, , , , , | Right | January 2, 2020

(I am on the tills. A woman comes to me and takes a two-pack of girls pyjamas out of a bag, with a receipt, and hands them to me.)

Customer: “I need to return these; I bought them for my granddaughter for Christmas and they were too small.”

Me: “The return period for Christmas gifts is now over, but I can either exchange them or give store credit at the current till price.”

Customer: “But I have my receipt, and I was told I could return them until the end of January.”

Me: “The last date for return on the receipt was the 25th of December, but we extended it to January 14th, which was posted around the shop, including where you queue and even on the till counters.”

Customer: “Well, I was ill when I bought them so I probably didn’t read them.”

Me: *internally* “And?” *out loud* “Well, they are coming up at £9.00, so as I said, it’s either an exchange or vouchers at till value.”

Customer: “But I paid more than that and I have my receipt.”

(She paid £10.50. Mentally banging my head on the counter, I explain again.)

Customer: “No, I am going to look into this. I have my receipt and they are too small, so you have to refund them. I know my rights.”

Me: “Actually, returning something because it is too small is not included in your statutory rights.”

(She just huffed and grabbed the pyjamas and receipt before stropping off. Just to make clear, I don’t get rude or stroppy with customers; I stay polite, which I think annoys them as they can’t complain I have been rude or stroppy to them. I was being nice. I could have actually refused to return them as she had had them so long over our return policy. And all over £1.50…)

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In Need Of Some Home Deliverance

, , , , , | Right | January 1, 2020

(I’m working at a checkout and processing a home delivery. These usually take a long time to put through, as they are usually quite large orders and require me to sort the bags, enter a lot of information into the system, and place special stickers onto each bag before loading them into a trolley, all by myself. As such, it’s common practice to put a closed sign up at the end of the register so that customers know to go to a different register, instead of waiting the ten to fifteen minutes it can take to be served. As I’m still only halfway through the home delivery order, a customer approaches.)

Customer: “Are you open?”

Me: “Yes, but this is a home delivery, so I’ll be a while. You’re better off going through a different register.”

Customer: “So you’re open?”

Me: “Yes, but I’ll be a while.”

Customer: “I’ll come through here, then.”

(She begins unloading her stuff onto my belt, behind the current order. As she does, she takes my closed sign down.)

Me: “I really recommend going to a different register. You’ll be waiting a long time.”

Customer: “I’ll come through here.”

Me: “Okay.”

(As I continued processing the home delivery, the customer kept asking me questions about her groceries. I kept telling her that I was busy helping my current customer with the home delivery but tried and helped her as much as I could. Eventually, she asked me to call a manager to help her, which I informed her I could not do right then as I’d need to leave my register to do that and I was still helping a customer with a large order. Over the next few minutes, she kept complaining about how long it was taking and asking why I’d not called anyone to help her yet. Finally, I gave in and walked over to a microphone to call someone, but as I did, she decided she’d had enough and walked away, leaving all her groceries on my belt. I returned to my register and continued processing the home delivery. Of course, thanks to the customer taking down my closed sign, I now had a queue of customers, all very angry at how long I was taking. Eventually, I finished the home delivery, got rid of the missing customer’s groceries, and then dealt with a couple of angry customers, all fed up with how long I took. So, thanks, random customer, you really made my day.)

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Behind The Blanket Apologies

, , , | Right | January 1, 2020

(I am on a road trip with some friends and we stop for fast food at a place that brings the food to your car. We wait for twenty minutes to get our food and realize we didn’t receive one order. We call back in and let them know, and they say they’ll remake it. Another fifteen minutes later, I ask where the food is, and they say they weren’t told about missing food. I am furious and angrily demand our food. Finally, after another ten minutes, we receive the food and go on our way. An hour later, I realize something.)

Me: “Guys… is now a bad time to tell you I found the other sandwich?”

Friend: “Are you kidding me?! We waited an extra half an hour and you got mad at a worker all because you lost your stupid sandwich?!”

Me: “He placed it behind the blanket! I didn’t see it! And he didn’t even say anything when he came back with the new food. I’m sure he could see it from where he was standing!”

Friend: “I don’t care! You should have asked instead of assuming they didn’t give it to you! You were the wrong one here, so do something about it.”

(I ended up calling the store to tell them what had happened and apologize. They laughed and said they were just happy I’d called, so they didn’t ask for me to pay for the extra sandwich. I’d never done anything like that before or since, so I was super embarrassed and still am. But I thought my stupidity belonged on this site.)

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Time Is Slowing Down

, , , , | Right | December 31, 2019

(I work at a gym. I’m working with a customer who needs a key for a separate workout area from the main building.)

Customer: “So, when can I check out the key?”

Me: “You can only hold the key for six hours.”

Customer: “So, when can I check out the key?”

Me: “Six hours before your reservation.”

Customer: “My reservation is at 3:00 pm; when can I check out the key?”

Me: “About six hours before that.”

Customer: “Which time is that?”

Me: “Well, three hours would be 12:00 pm, minus another three from that, so 9:00 am is the earliest you can come and get it.”

Customer: “So, I can’t check it out now?”

(It’s 5:00 am.)

Me: *rubs eyelids*

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