There’s A Reason She Didn’t Give Him Her Number

, , , , | Right | March 18, 2020

(I work in a phonebook order center. Every day, I get calls that mistake us for a customer help hotline for a phone company like AT&T or Verizon. We make it clear to them that we just provide phonebooks and that we can’t help them with their phone bill or anything related with phones and phone numbers. We always advise them to call 411 for that. We get yelled at and cursed at for denying them any service and we’re used to that.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Company]. Are you calling in to order a phonebook?”

Caller: *completely ignores the question* “I need help with something more important.”

Me: “Yes, sir. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I need my girlfriend’s number.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re an order center for phone directories. We don’t store any phone numbers here. And if we do, we can’t give them out. That’s against our policy.”

Caller: *gets angry* “Why not? I have the right to know! Can you at least search her name in your system? Her name is—”

Me: “I apologize, sir, but we can’t help you with that. Again, we’re an order center for phonebooks. Are you calling in to order one for your state?”

Caller: *gets angrier* “Are you stupid? I don’t care about phonebooks! I need you to provide me with her number!”

Me: “Sir, we don’t entertain profanity here. Again, I apologize but I can’t —”

Caller: “I will get you fired!”

Me: “Go ahead, sir. I’ll be glad if you’re able to do that. Please call 411 for your concern. Have a great day, bye!”

(This job made me dead inside.)

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Here At The IT Service Desk, We Deal With Mean Machines  

, , , , | Right | March 17, 2020

(I work at the IT service desk for a large retail company. Our salespeople have a password that allows them to track their commission, etc. Recently there was a change made to the system itself and, unfortunately, they are unable to reset the password when they get the notice that it’s expired. If they try to follow the steps — old, new, confirm — they get a server error. There’s a couple of workarounds, and we can walk them through them over the phone. The one thing we can’t do is provide a temp for this password. This is one of the only systems where we can’t.)

Me: “Service Desk, this is [My Name].”

Caller: “I can’t reset my password; I need a new one.”

Me: “Which password? Are you receiving an error of any kind?”

Caller: “I just need to reset my password for the register.”

Me: “Okay. We don’t have the ability to give you a temporary for that password. But are you near a register?”

Caller: “I just need to reset my password! I can’t do my job without it!”

Me: “I understand that; however, I’m unable to give you a temporary one. I can walk you through resetting from the register, though.”

Caller: “I already tried that. It didn’t work. I can’t do my job without this password! You need to help me!”

Me: “I understand that you’ve had trouble with resetting, but are you in front of the register?”

Caller: “You need to stop being mean and help me! I can’t do my job!”

(I am slightly taken aback, as I don’t think I’ve been mean so far; I’m just trying to figure out where her trouble is.)

Me: “I understand that you need the password. Are you in front of a register currently or a desktop?”

Caller: “You need to stop being mean and help me! If you want to continue working here, you need to help me!”

Me: “I’m sorry that you’re frustrated. Are you currently in front of a register or a PC? I can walk you through resetting this password.”

Caller: “You know what? I can’t deal with you being mean. I can’t do my job without this password, but I can’t deal with you right now. If you want to continue working here, you really need to change your attitude!” *click*

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So Drunk Your Body Needs To Be Towed  

, , , , | Right | March 17, 2020

(I work as a dispatcher for a towing company, and I receive this call from someone on Saint Paddy’s day.)

Me: “[Towing Company], how can I help you tonight?”

Customer: “Yeah, do you guys deliver?”

Me: *thinking I’m dealing with an ESL speaker, which is fairly common* “Deliver? Do you need me to send a tow truck to you?”

Customer: “No, do you deliver?!

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t understand.”

Customer: “Are you deaf? Deliver! Like booze!”

Me: “Sir, this is a towing company; we do not deliver alcohol.”

Customer: “Fair enough…” *click*

(I suddenly realize that this customer is very, very drunk, but think nothing of it. Around 45 minutes later, he calls back.)

Me: “[Towing Company], how can I help you this evening?”

Customer: “Do y’all deliver?”

Me: “Sir, you called already regarding delivery; I told you we don’t provide that service.”

Customer: “Did I? Okay…” *click*

(This happens several times over the next couple of hours until finally I get fed up with him calling.)

Me: “[Towing Company], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Can I get a delivery?”

Me: *cheerily* “Yep! Let me just give you our delivery number!”

(I gave him the local PD direct dispatch number and never heard from him again.)

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Brand Awareness Goes Both Ways

, , , , , , | Right | March 16, 2020

(I get called to our front counter by a fellow supervisor to help her with a refund. We were both employed at the same time and have been in with the company for about three years but for some reason, she’s never familiarised herself with the products we sell.)

Supervisor: “I’m trying to put a return through for this lady but the items won’t scan.” 

(I’ve not yet seen the items.)

Me: “Okay, where’s the receipt?”

Supervisor: “She doesn’t have one.”

Me: “We can’t do a return without a receipt.”

Supervisor: “I know that. I’m just going to give her store credit.”

(We aren’t supposed to but can do it to keep customers happy.)

Me: “Okay, then where are the items?”

Customer: “Here they are; I bought them from here.”

Me: *glancing quickly at the items* “These aren’t our items; you didn’t buy these here.”  

Customer: “Yes, they are. I bought them here.”

Supervisor: “How can you tell? You barely even looked at them.”

Me: “They are both brands we’ve never sold.”

Supervisor: “You can remember all the brands we sell?”

Me: “Not all of them, but this one is [Competitor]’s own brand and this one—” *flips package over to show a distinctive red and white logo* “—is from [Store].”  

Customer: “Oh, I could have sworn I bought them here, but I am certain I got that one here. I never go to [Competitor]. How do you know it’s their own brand?”

Me: “I worked there for five years, and if you read the package it will say that it’s exclusive to [Competitor].”

Customer: “BUT I BOUGHT IT HERE!”

(I wordlessly flip the package over and point to the fine print, which is too small for me to read.)

Customer: “Oh, it does say [Competitor], but I hardly ever go there.”

(She apologises and leaves.)

Supervisor: “I don’t know how you can remember what stock we sell.”

(I don’t know how she can’t, seeing that we only carry our own brands.)

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That’s What You Get For Assuming Customers Can Count

, , , | Right | March 16, 2020

Customer: “Do you have a washroom in this store?”

Me: “Yes, it’s all the way at the back of aisle eight, past the clearance section.”

Customer: *all snippety* “Yes, but I’ve never been in this store before.”

Me: “Um… okay… Just go to aisle eight and go all the way to the back… past the clearance section.”

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