I worked in ad tech for a while. When the chief creative officer was reviewing designs for a website that included a sign-up form, his feedback was:

Chief Creative Officer: “It should have a checkbox.”

Me: “What should the checkbox be indicating? What text would accompany it? What behavior on the form differs if it’s checked or not?”

Chief Creative Officer: *Condescendingly.* “It’s a little box that, when clicked, a checkmark appears.”

Me: “Yes, I know what it is. I’m asking what the user is confirming when checking it and what happens if they do or don’t check it.”

This $250,000+ salaried executive had no idea what I was asking.

Chief Creative Officer: “Look, forms need checkboxes to look official, so just put one on there!”

I’m a web developer and software designer. I get a client who sounds very excitable over the phone.

Client: “So, I’m gonna need your help for this. Imagine this! CatCoin!”

Me: “Uh… what is that?”

Client: “It’s a crypto! CatCoin!”

Me: “And you wanted me to design the website for it?”

Client: “No, you need to develop the coin. I can’t pay you up front, but when people start buying it, I can split the costs with you.”

Me: “You want me to… make a cryptocurrency?”

Client: “That’s one of the things you do, right?”

Me: “Not even close. What would you be doing in this… enterprise?”

Client: “I came up with the name! The concept!”

Me: “CatCoin?”

Client: “Yeah!”

Me: “So you’re doing nothing?”

Client: “H*** no! I came up with the idea! I… y’know, will sell it on the blockchain!”

Me: “If you can tell me right now what the blockchain is, I will humor you for a few more minutes.”

Client: “It’s… the chain of… things that cryptos run on.”

Me: “But what is it?”

Client: “It’s… it’s… It’s crypto!”

Me: “Well, this has been fun. Good luck, but I’m not the guy for you.” *Click.*

F****** crypto-bros.

A couple of years ago, I was an art director at a local creative agency; branding, digital campaigns, websites, the usual. One of our bigger accounts was a well-known travel site (let’s call them Big Travel Co.), and my point of contact was their country marketing manager.

One afternoon, my phone lights up.

Client: “I looked at the mock-ups, and the colors are all wrong. Especially our core brand color, the [main brand color] is completely off!”

Me: “Got it. Could you send me the mock-up you’re looking at so I can check?”

I’d built that mock-up myself. I was certain I pulled the exact RGB/hex values straight from their brand guidelines. Still, I open the file, sample the swatches, compare against the guidelines, and even cross-check their website and recent campaigns. Perfect match.

I call her back.

Me: “I double-checked. These are precisely your brand colors; same values as the guidelines, same as your site.”

Client: “No, they’re wrong. I’m looking at them right now. They look… off. Like, washed out.”

Washed out? A terrible suspicion starts to form.

Me: “Could you check your monitor settings?”

Client: “I don’t know how to do that.”

We spiral into a long, circular debate about color, where I (patiently) troubleshoot and she (confidently) implies I don’t know my job. My creative director drifts in and out of the conversation like a concerned weather pattern. Eventually, we agreed to meet in person.

A couple of days later, she arrives at our office, sets down an ancient, battle-scarred ThinkPad, and opens the file.

Client: “See? The colors are all wrong!”

I glance at the screen. It looks like the 1990s called and asked for its VGA palette back.

Me: “Your display is limited to a very narrow color range. That’s why everything looks washed out. On a modern monitor, the [main brand color] renders exactly as specified. Here—look at it on my screen.”

She peers at my monitor. The <main brand color> is bright, brand-correct, and blissfully not-sad.

Client: “…I see.”

We delivered the full campaign shortly after. Feedback was minimal.

When brand colors are “wrong,” sometimes it’s not the branding. It’s the time machine you’re viewing them on.

About a week before Thanksgiving, my mom (a savvy business lady) tells me she has a work-associated friend who wants some social media work done. I am up for the gig since my law school finals are ending, and I’ll have some free time over the break, so she gives this dude my email.

[Dude] emails me and outlines some of the ideas and goals he has in mind, I reply to get a sense of what he wants, and I set up a video call to chat in person.

On the call, [Dude] tells me he wants to go viral. He wants this to be a big platform. He wants to do this, this, and this, post every day, see this type of content, have this kind of message, and all that. Like every entrepreneur, he has a bunch of ideas, but mostly, he wants it to go big.

For some context, I’m a law student with experience in social media management for both business and creative types. I’m not an expert, but for a low-level gig, I know my chops.

Me: “I’m not a miracle worker — I can’t ‘make’ something go viral — but I can help you get this thing off the ground, and then in a few months, if things are going well, I can help you transition to a proper professional who can really take this platform and run with it. I’ll start working on a plan, but later in the week because I have finals.”

Dude: “Great!”

And we hang up.

Then, [Dude] starts texting me with screenshots, GIFs, ideas, and all this stuff. Thankfully, he doesn’t interrupt me during my last exam, but it is a legit concern.

Thanksgiving happens, and he’s still texting me. I’m being polite but fending him off. Some red flags are going up because he’s pushy and needy, and his behavior is starting to give me cold feet. I take a breath and decide that I’m a big girl and can say no if I get too overwhelmed. I’m also exhausted from the stress of my finals but so happy to be done.

Then, I get a text on the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

Dude: “I want a game plan so I can look over it tomorrow.”

Ooh, boy, work on the weekends, and I haven’t even started yet. Oh, well. I don’t have class right now, so I say whatever.

Me: “Hey, [Dude], I can have a plan for you by the end of today. Next time we chat — maybe Monday? — we can go over the plan, what my wages are expected to be, how much and what kind of work I should be doing, etc. I don’t want to take on more than I can handle when school is still my first priority, so getting a sense of what the regular tasks are will be the best way to make sure your needs are met and that I won’t bite off more than I can chew. Sound good?”

Dude: “Monday. This is no pay. It’s learning and being involved with a professional and a great cause. Find an intern then to report to you. There’s 7.5 million of them.”

Excuse me, WHAT?

I’m mad as h***. [Dude] wants me to do all this work for him and take on a managerial role for free? And since I’m in law school and told him I have previous experience doing this kind of work professionally, I need this “learning experience”? And he has this attitude that he’s so great and his social media platform is going to be so great, and that interns are just a dime a dozen?

While I’m absolutely fuming, I screenshot the messages, send them to my mom, and tell her to call me before I do something dumb. My mom calls me.

Mom: “What [Dude]’s asking for is crazy. I’m sorry; I never would’ve connected you with him if I didn’t think it was paid. Plus, it’s illegal to do that work for free unless you set up an academic credit program, which is hard to do.”

Me: “He’s crazy if he wants all that. And I can’t do academic credit because I don’t need social media experience to be a lawyer, and I’m limited in the amount of internship credits I can take on during the school year, so there’s no way I would waste it. I wanted to talk to you and get a different perspective so that I won’t impede on your business relationship.”

Mom and I talk, we’re all good, and we end the call.

I decide that with [Dude]’s attitude, he won’t understand all the problems with unpaid internships and young, capable, working professionals getting taken advantage of, so instead I send him this.

Me: “Oh, I misunderstood, then. I thought this would be a paying gig. If you’re looking to bring someone on for an unpaid internship, you should look into undergraduates studying [field related to the platform’s message] or communications who can work for academic credit, but since I’m working on my law degree, I can’t take on unpaid work. I don’t think I would be a good fit for your platform. Thank you for the opportunity, [Dude], and I wish you the best of luck!”

Of course, I should have trusted my intuition when he sent up all those red flags, but now I see that it was right. But that’s not all! I get another message from [Dude].

Dude: “I don’t pay for very part-time help.”

I’m aghast but not as p***ed as I was before. The audacity of this man to demand as much work as he did, then tell me to hire an intern to delegate all of it, and then tell me it was “very part-time help”! Whatever, not my monkey, not my circus. I’m out, so I don’t need to bother anymore.

Me: “Understood. Best to you!”

But it isn’t all “best to him”. Instead of bowing out like a reasonable person, [Dude] decides to get even more entitled.

Dude: “Umm. You think that $20 an hour is more important than the learning and experience with me? I never said it was paid. I would reconsider and speak with your mom. You’re the only one I’ve asked, and you like the mission very much. Further, you don’t need really $20 an hour. It’s more of the concept of being paid, no?”

I’m shooketh and I’m mad, but at least [Dude] is the crazy, entitled one here. He can shove his learning and experience and his mission up his a**. There is no way I will reconsider because I don’t need him like he thinks he needs me. Of course I’m doing this for the money! Experience doesn’t pay bills! Especially experience THAT I ALREADY HAVE TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS GIG and do not need.

And, “It’s more of the concept of being paid”? I cannot with this man. Am I not an adult? Do I not know what it’s like to have a nine-to-five and pay bills and taxes? Get out of here with that bulls***. And you bring my mother into this? The one who is seeing all of these screenshots and who has more class in her little finger than you do in your whole body? Yeah, there’s no way she would be cool with you trying to take advantage of her, her (independent adult) child, or anyone else. She and I can both tell you to take a hike.

But I don’t say all of that — because unlike [Dude] I’m a d*** professional.

Me: “This is not appropriate. I already told you no, I am not interested. You will not be hearing from me again.”

And I block him.

Oh, and he talks to my mom after this conversation.

Mom: “He told me that you are not the right fit. Which means that you aren’t free. So don’t apologize or feel like you should.”

 I’m a web and graphic designer. I designed a flyer for one of my clients. I sent the design to her via email. It’s really hard to match colours from the screen to print, especially since monitor colours don’t match up to their local office printer. Plus, screen colours are in RGB, so there are literally some colours that are unachievable in a physical print. Usually, for exact colour matching, we have to use Pantone swatches, or when they send it for the actual print, they can sort it out and tweak it with the actual technician.

I received a call immediately, and she mentioned that she printed out the flyer on their company’s office printer. I readied myself for the usual spiel about how monitor colours don’t match the printout, etc.

Client: “Hey, I printed this out and the colours don’t match what I see on the screen.”

Me: “Yeah, don’t worry about that. Every monitor is different, and you can’t calibrate it to match your office printer. I used the exact CMYK colours for your logo and fonts.”

Client: “Well, even so, the colours look correct on screen but not when I print it out.”

Me: “I’ve used the exact CMYK colours, so you don’t have to worry about it. Your professional printer will ensure that you get the right colour.”

Client: “Yes, but the whites aren’t white enough.”

I quickly checked my file; did I leave a translucent layer on by accident? No, it was perfectly #FFFFFF. Told her that the white is as white as it can be.

Client: “Well, the white ink is not very white.”

I was stunned. Office and home printers don’t have… white ink. It’s just the white paper. Any white areas are basically just paper that hasn’t been printed on.

I tried hard to explain this concept to her, that printers don’t print the white. Regardless, she insists that they do. I tell her that it cannot be done on an office/home printer; it literally requires a separate offset printing plate that only large commercial printers use. And even then, seldom do people print white at all.

She insists that her printer does print white, and that the design I sent her simply isn’t white enough.

I tell her maybe her paper stock isn’t white? Maybe the paper itself is yellowish?

Client: “No, it’s not my paper, it’s that your white isn’t white enough. Look, I’ve used some of my liquid white-out on the paper. It’s very white. Your design is not printing the white colours properly.”

I was flabbergasted. I couldn’t laugh out loud. She literally used white-out on the print-out and complained that the correction fluid was whiter than the paper. 

Can’t really remember what happened after, but she showed her boss, and he seemed happy with the design, so everything went well, I suppose?