Cake Makes Everything Better

, , , , , , | Romantic | February 16, 2020

(I am a few months into my first “real” job. My marriage recently ended, and I am feeling very unhappy. Some but not all of my coworkers know that I am getting divorced. My birthday is coming up shortly, and I decide to throw a party to cheer myself up. What birthday party is complete without cake? So, I make a phone call.)

Me: “Hi. I’d like to order a birthday cake, please. It needs to be big enough to feed 25 to 30 people.”

Bakery Employee: “No problem. What would you like it to say?”

Me: “‘Happy Birthday, [My Name].’”

(I hang up the phone and realize that two of my coworkers are staring at me.)

Coworker #1: *smirking* You’re ordering yourself a birthday cake? That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

Me: “Well, I want a cake for my party. You’re all invited, by the way.”

Coworker #1: “Can’t someone else order it for you? What about your husband?”

Coworker #2: *nudges [Coworker #1]*

Coworker #1: “What?”

Coworker #2: “She’s getting divorced, idiot.” *to me* “I’ll come to your party. Can I bring anything?”

Me: “Just yourself.” *smiles gratefully*

(The party ended up being a huge success. The cake was delicious! By the time everyone had left, it was 1:30 am and my house was a mess. Oh, did I say everyone had left? Not quite. [Coworker #2] stayed behind to help me clean up. And – to paraphrase a famous saying – several years later, Reader, I married him.)

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Mom Is Overdue For Her Flight Out Of Here

, , , , , , | Related | February 10, 2020

(My husband and I decided to buy a new house. It is a showhome, and because of that, the builder insists that it has to stay “on show” until a certain date, even though it is now ours. This date is roughly six weeks from the day that we have to vacate our old house. That leaves us scrambling to find somewhere to live for ourselves, our very small daughters, and our two cats. We find a motel that is fairly cheap and will allow us to stay for the entire six weeks, and luckily, we have friends who agree to look after the cats. We still have to get our girls to and from daycare, and ourselves to and from our jobs. Needless to say, though, this is all fairly complicated and stressful. Add to that the fact that our daughters are only four and two, and I am working two jobs. Fast forward to when our new house is finally ready. My parents fly in from their city to help us move in. A few days later, I need to return some books to the library, so I invite my mum to come with me.)

Librarian: “You realize that these books are overdue?”

Me: “Really? Oh, dear. My life has been a bit crazy lately. How much do I owe?”

Librarian: “$6.”

Me: “Yikes. I guess it’s people like me who keep the library funded, though, eh?” *laughs*

Librarian: *takes my money without changing expression*

(As we are leaving…)

Me: “I guess he’s heard that ‘joke’ before.”  

Mum: *silent*

Me: “It wasn’t all that funny anyway.”

Mum: *coldly* “It’s more likely that he couldn’t believe anyone could be so stupid as to accrue $6 in library fines. What on earth were you thinking?”

Me: *stunned and hurt* “Mum, have you any idea how nuts it’s been for me over the last few weeks? Some things were bound to slip through the cracks.”

Mum: “Whatever. You should have been more careful.”

(I was very thankful when she and Dad flew home a couple of days later.)

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My First Refund!

, , , , , | Right | February 9, 2020

(I am the clueless customer here. I’ve just gotten my first “real” job and I need good-quality office clothes. I go to a fairly high-end store and buy almost $1,000.00 worth of outfits, which is a huge amount of money for me.)

Salesperson: *seeing my face as I’m paying* “Hey, just so you know, if these clothes go on sale in the next two weeks, we’ll refund you the difference.”

Me: “Really? Awesome!” *skips off happily with my new duds*

(The salesperson was very clear about the “in the next two weeks” part, but my brain somehow didn’t process that. I got it into my head that if what I’d bought went on sale at any time, even if it was months in the future, I’d still get money back. So, three months later, the store has a huge “end of season sale.”)

Me: *carrying in a massive armful of clothes and my receipt* “Hi! I’m here for my refund.”

Salesperson: “Um… refund?”

Me: “Yup!” *hands over receipt*

Salesperson: “This is from three months ago, ma’am.”

Me: “That’s right.”

Salesperson: *looks at clothes* “Is there anything wrong with them?”

Me: “No, I love them. I’ve been wearing everything constantly since I bought them in the spring.”

Salesperson: “Then I’m confused.”

(We finally got things straightened out, and I slunk out, very embarrassed, with all my stuff and no refund. Thankfully, she was very nice; she probably saw how young I was and realized that this was my first time buying anything really nice.)

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Unfiltered Story #184580

, , , | Unfiltered | February 5, 2020

I live a few blocks from a grocery store that’s running a promotion where you collect stamps with your purchases toward different high-end kitchen items like knives and glassware. Since I live nearby, I have been collecting the stamps, but as the store is on a busy road there are often customers who aren’t regulars.
It’s not very busy and there are only two people in line behind me. I have brought my own bags and am just finishing up and about to pack them.
Cashier: “Are you collecting stamps?”
Me: “Yes.” *he hands me the stamps”
Woman behind me “Oh, I’m not collecting the stamps, you can have mine if you want.”
Me: “Really?”
Woman: “Sure.”
The cashier rings up her order while I bag my groceries and she hands me the stamps.
Me: “Thank you, that’s very kind.”
Woman: “Not a problem, have a good day!”
Me: “You too!”
It was only two stamps, but it was a thoughtful gesture. Now I’m two stamps closer to a fancy wine glass!

Unfiltered Story #183990

, , , | Unfiltered | January 27, 2020

(This happened at a second-hand shop that I used to visit often. I found a cute yellow top with purple flowers and, liking the look of it, decided to try it on. While I was in the changing room, this happened.)

Voice outside the changing room: Where’s that top?
Employee: What top, ma’am?
Customer: That yellow top with purple flowers. I was going to buy it, but I didn’t have any money, so I put it down and went to the ATM. Now it’s gone!
Employee: Did you ask an employee to hold on to it for you, ma’am?
Customer: No, but I shouldn’t have to! I was going to buy it!
Employee: I’m sorry, ma’am. If you put it back on the rack, there’s no way another customer would know that you intended to buy it.
Customer: Oh, man. I really liked it, too. I don’t suppose you have another one like it?
Employee: I’m afraid not.
Customer: This sucks! *goes away*

(I’m embarrassed to admit that I hid in the changing room until she left.)