Unfiltered Story #100039

, , | Unfiltered | November 18, 2017

(When my mum had just moved to our city, she needed to find a dentist for me. I was three years old, so finding one that was good with children was a priority. A co-worker recommended someone, and she made an appointment. She knew it was a mistake right from the get-go. The dentist seemed to be in a very bad mood and obviously had no patience whatsoever with children.)

Dentist: SIT STILL!
Me: *whimpers*
Dentist: Open your mouth. Wider. Oh, for Pete’s sake, what’s wrong with you? I said WIDER!
Me: *not used to strangers yelling at me, I start to cry*
Mum: Um, excuse me –
Dentist: Quiet. I don’t need to hear from you.
Mum: I BEG your pardon?
Dentist: I said be quiet.
Me: *starts to cry louder*
Dentist: Now, see what you’ve done? You’ve upset your child.
Mum: I’VE upset her?
Dentist: *tries to put fluoride on my teeth, accidentally squirts it down my throat instead*
Me: *throws up all over him*
Dentist: THAT’S IT! OUT! OUT!
Mum: You don’t have to tell me twice. Come on, sweetheart, we’re leaving.

(She found another dentist shortly afterwards who loved children and was patient and kind. She gave the co-worker royal heck later for recommending that sadist!)

IP Address:

You’ve Got Things Back To Front

, , , | Healthy | November 8, 2017

(At our pharmacy we have cashiers who run the till when customers pick up their prescriptions. The cashiers have no pharmacy school education. A woman is picking up an antibiotic for a urinary tract infection.)

Customer: *in a loud voice* “I keep getting these urinary tract infections!”

Cashier: *awkwardly* “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

Customer: *still very loud* “Do you think it’s because I wipe from back to front? They say you shouldn’t but I’ve done it all my life!”

Cashier: *trying very hard to remain professional* “Er… I really couldn’t say.”

(Meanwhile the rest of the staff are trying very hard not to laugh out loud.)

Gasp If You Want To Be Heard

, , , , , , | Working | October 26, 2017

(There has been a major blizzard. Though the walkways in the zoo have been partially ploughed, the snow is still rough, and the benches are totally snowed under. I misjudge my stamina, and find myself gasping for breath and in a fair amount of pain when I finally struggle through the snow into the closest zoo exhibit. I collapse on the nearest chair and concentrate on breathing.)

Volunteer: “There aren’t any polar bears out today.”

Me: *gasp* “Darn!” *gasp*

Volunteer: “But you can see the seals!”

Me: *gasp* “I doubt I can—” *gasp* “—walk that far.”*gasp*.

Volunteer: “Enjoy the exhibit!”

Me: “I’ll try to.” *gasp*. “Um, ma’am?” *gasp*

Volunteer: “Yes?”

Me: “I doubt I can safely make it back to the Administration Building.” *gasp* “Could you get someone to come over—” *gasp* “—with a cart or something?” *gasp* “I’ll gladly pay for it.”

Volunteer: “We don’t have anything like that.”

Me: “Not any motorized vehicle in—” *gasp*“—the entire zoo?”

Volunteer: “Nope!”

Me: “Okay, would you do me—” *gasp* “—a favor? Please call the—” *gasp* “—Admin Building and ask them to—” *gasp* “—watch for me. If I haven’t checked in with them in—” *gasp* “—45 minutes, would they please send someone back this—” *gasp* “—way to see what happened to me?”

(Then the volunteer picked up her walkie-talkie and phoned security to send a guy in a golf cart to drive me back.)

Dealing With Ignorance Is A Lottery

, , , , , | Working | October 19, 2017

(I run a lottery pool at work and buy tickets every week. The lottery that we buy tickets for has a draw twice a week. For simplicity’s sake, I like to get one ticket that covers both draws. This happens almost every time I go to buy one.)

Me: “I’d like a ticket for [Lottery], please, for the next two draws.”

Clerk: “Huh?”

Me: “I’d like a ticket that has the same number for both the Wednesday and the Saturday draw.”

Clerk: “Then you want two tickets.”

Me: “No. Two tickets would be two different numbers. I want just one ticket for both draws.”

Clerk: “We don’t do that.”

Me: “Um, yes, you do. I buy tickets like that all the time.”

Clerk: “No, we don’t.” *turns to more experienced colleague* “Right?”

Colleague: “Actually, we do. Here, I’ll show you.”

Clerk: “But, that means that the ticket will cost $8 instead of $4.” *gives me a triumphant “Gotcha” expression*

Me: “Yes, that’s right.” *holds out the $8 that I had all ready to go*

Clerk: “Oh.”

Exploding Cat Pee: Ten Years Later

, , , , , | Related | September 26, 2017

Eight-Year-Old: “Mom! Mom! There’s exploding cat pee on the carpet in my room!”

(This gets my attention. I run upstairs to witness the exploding cat pee. I hear and see a loud plop. I look up, and point to the leak in the ceiling.)

Eight-Year-Old: “Never tell anyone.”

Me: “I won’t for now, but I can’t promise forever.”

(Happy 18th birthday, Darling!)

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