(We get a few computer scammers, but my husband usually answers. Today, I get the scammer.)
Me: “Hello?”
Scammer: *starts a spiel about how our computer came up in a report for infected computers*
Me: “Really? That’s amazing that you can do that.” *shooing my son away to concentrate on the call*
Scammer: “Ma’am, I need you to open [program].” *call quality is spotty*
Me: “Hold on, I’ll try to get that up.” *aside to son* “Not now, just a minute!”
Scammer: “Ma’am, are you playing with your child? You really need to pay attention, because your computer is at risk.”
Me: “Okay, no. This is not serious, you are trying a scam on me. The program you want me to pull will show me errors you say are viruses.”
Scammer: “No, no. We have a report that your machine is sending out viruses to others—”
Me: “Okay, what’s my computer name?”
Scammer: “What?”
Me: “What’s my computer name? If you are getting reports and can trace it back to me, you obviously have some identifying information. So I assume you know my computer name.”
Scammer: “Look, ma’am, you need to take this seriously. This puts computers at risk—”
Me: “Why, so you can access my files remotely? Tell me my computer name, and we’ll do business.”
Scammer: “This is serious security!”
Me: “What is my computer name?”
Scammer: *click*