That Man Needs To Man-Go

, , , , , | Related | June 29, 2020

My husband’s brother has moved in with us due to not being able to afford a place of his own. From the beginning, he’s made extra demands in regards to the food I cook. I already deal with a fussy eater — my husband, who will only eat specific items — and am not going to prepare multiple foods to appease [Brother-In-Law].

He makes passive-aggressive complaints about that to the rest of the family. I never say anything about this, always trying to keep the peace. I do make one change: I start making him a salad course to have with meals. He’s made no effort to help us pay for the extra food we now have to buy.

It’s the beginning of mango season; they are pretty expensive but I decide to buy myself one as a treat. That evening, I prepare dinner as normal and give [Brother-In-Law] his salad and main course. Afterward, I collect the plates. 

Brother-In-Law: “Dinner was nice this evening, but I was disappointed with the salad.”

Me: “What was wrong with it?”

Brother-In-Law: “Oh, nothing really, it’s just that I like to have fruit in my salad. I saw that you had bought a mango and was expecting that to be in my salad. Next time, put mango in.”

Me: *Seething at this demand* “No one gets any of my f****** mango.” *Stomps off*

I stopped making him salads after that because I wouldn’t want him to have to eat disappointing food.

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Awesome Siblings, Less Awesome Roomies

, , , , , | Related | June 27, 2020

My younger sister moves into her first apartment. I moved out of state a couple of years ago and mainly keep in contact with her through Facebook.

Sister: “Getting this apartment has cost a lot more then we estimated and our roommate hasn’t paid for anything.”

Me: “How short on money are you?”

Sister: “We paid everything for the apartment, rent and security deposit, but we don’t have any grocery money and I don’t get paid for a week.”

Me: “Well, why don’t you send me your new address so I can visit when I come down?”

That day, I arranged grocery delivery for the next day. I sent her enough groceries for at least two weeks. It was a nice little surprise when she got off work.

The roommate never did pay rent. She was also the younger sister of my sister’s husband, so that didn’t go over very well.

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Someone This Oblivious Could Probably Use Their Own Supervision

, , , , | Working | June 26, 2020

My child has a severe developmental disorder requiring twenty-four-hour supervision. It’s very difficult to find workers able to meet their needs, mostly for playful interaction and adult supervision rather than anything heavy or medical. 

My kid loves the support worker we finally hire. She’s playful when she’s here, but she pulls stunts like not showing up, giving three minutes of notice, being late, and even showing up on off days saying, “I wanted the hours so I’ll work now,” as we’re headed out of the house. She’s on her phone constantly. She adds hours to her invoices, believing that if she was scheduled to work and never shows up she should be paid, and if she’s “bored” and walks out early, she should also be paid to the shift end. She’s definitely not the brightest bulb in the box.

The day comes when I’m ready to fire her, which is hard because my child loves her for some reason. The conversation doesn’t quite go as planned! 

Me: “[Worker], we need to talk about you not showing up for work.”

Worker: “You’re right!” *Enthusiastically* “I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I should have a raise!”

Me: “Why would you ask for a raise? I’m paying you a competitive hourly wage, well above the minimum. Besides, I know this might be diffi—”

I’m preparing to drop the axe, but she cuts me off.

Worker: “And I moved. Now it takes me longer to get to work—” *it doesn’t* “—so you owe me two dollars per hour more. That’s how it works. All employers have to pay employees to get to work. So, now I make [amount] an hour for twenty hours a week.” 

She confidently quotes an amount nearly ten dollars an hour over the “going” wage, and twenty hours a week when she now barely shows up for three hours a week. 

Worker: “It’s the law!”

She was gobsmacked when I fired her! Sadly, she recently got a job working full time with developmentally disabled adults at a local activity centre. Other parents tell me she’s known as “the one with the phone,” but the centre won’t fire her.

When they called me for a reference — yes, she thought I’d give her a good reference — I told it straight and the supervisor thanked me, saying with a sigh, “Well, at least she hasn’t killed anybody yet. It’s the best we can hope for, I guess.”

Sigh.

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That IS Honest

, , , , , | Related | June 25, 2020

My three-year-old has started to get very sneaky, and we’ve had to start double-checking with other adults to make sure he isn’t lying.

He goes upstairs to my mom’s room and asks for TV. He then shuts the bedroom door.

Three-Year-Old: “We need to shut this because Mommy’s on the phone and we don’t want to bother her.”

Grandma: “Okay… Am I going to get in trouble for letting you watch TV?”

Three-Year-Old: “No, I am.”

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Moving In And Shaking Things Up

, , , , , | Related | June 24, 2020

My dad has fallen on some hard financial times due to a variety of factors. I live nearby and help out where I can — replacing the leaking washing machine, picking up bills, helping with groceries/shopping, etc. — but he’s still struggling. We’re both people who strongly value their independence, so when he starts making comments about me moving back in and taking over his mortgage, we laugh it off at first.

But the comments keep coming. He starts giving me some variation of “If things don’t pick up, I’m probably going to have to have you move back in by [some arbitrary date always one or two months out].” He also either disregards or says he will, but never does, any of the advice I give him to make extra income, not even the ideas he comes up with himself.

After month upon month of him sprinkling “you’re probably going to have to move back in” into nearly every conversation, I’ve about had it, so I come up with a solution to find out once and for all how serious he is. The opportunity comes when I’m just getting ready to leave after visiting him.

Dad: “Bye! I’ll see you Monday. By the way, if I can’t pay the mortgage this month, I’m going to have to have you move back in.”

Me: “That’s fine. Then I want the house.”

Dad: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, if I need to move back in, I’m going to have to assume you can no longer take care of yourself and can’t afford to live alone any longer. So, if I’m paying for the house, this will become my house and my rules.”

Dad: “Is that so?”

Me: “Yes. Those are my terms. By the way, since it will probably come up if we’re living together again: I’m gay.”

Dad: “Oh.”

Me: “Anyway, think about it and get back to me. Love you. I’ll see you Monday.”

I guess the “tough love” approach worked, because he called me the next day to tell me that he agreed to surrender the house to me as a last resort, but he wasn’t giving up yet. Years later, he still has his house, and I’m working on buying my own home now in the same neighborhood. When we told my uncle about the purchase, my uncle asked why I wasn’t just moving back in with my dad and my dad responded, “We have an agreement.”

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