When Someone Is A Complete D*ck It’s Breast To Ignore Them

, , , , , | Friendly | July 2, 2017

(I have a summer pass to a nearby public pool, and I go pretty often. During mid-June, I notice there is a woman and her baby who are there regularly. We don’t really talk, but I do make a few comments on how adorable her little girl is. The baby couldn’t have been more than a few weeks old. I saw her breastfeeding the baby a few times, but no one ever commented until one day in early July. Her baby starts crying, so the mother begins breastfeeding her. A man goes up to her, and just watches for a few seconds, then speaks to her.)

Man: “That is so disgusting. I can’t believe you’re doing that in public.”

Mother: “I’m just feeding my child.”

Man: “Well, at least don’t pull out your f****** t*ts in public! There are children here!”

Mother: “I’m not exposing anything, and I must feed my child. Please just mind your own bus—”

Man: *interrupting her* “I can see almost your entire t*t, you wh**e. So, if you can just whip out your t*t in public to feed that thing, does that mean I can whip out my d*** in public and—”

Me: *interrupting him, and VERY loudly* “YOU FEED SEMEN TO YOUR INFANT CHILDREN?!”

(Many people heard me, and almost all of them turned to look.)

Man: “What?! No. I would ne— I– I’ve never done— I wouldn’t do that.”

(He then scurried away, looking quite embarrassed.)

Dollars To Donuts

, , , , | Working | June 30, 2017

(I have gone to the pharmacy to refill a prescription. The transaction goes completely normal until the very end after I’ve checked out.)

Worker: “Can I interest you in a free doughnut?”

(I look at her in confusion. I wasn’t expecting being offered a doughnut at 12:30 pm from my pharmacy tech, so my brain takes a bit to process that I did hear those words. After a moment, I shake my head.)

Me: “No, thank you!”

Worker: “…that was rather silly to offer someone picking up diabetes medication, huh?”

Getting A Leg Up On The Obvious

, , , , | Working | June 30, 2017

Coworker: “Did you know [Other Coworker] has an artificial leg?!”

Me: “Yeah, I knew that.”

Coworker: “Do you know why?”

Me: “Because he was missing one?”

Had A Hand In Your Pain

, , , , | Working | June 30, 2017

This happened when I was 13. I was a country girl, to explain the next part. I am at a friend’s place for the day and she is going out in the tractor. I went along, and somehow manage to crush my hand quite badly between mechanical parts. Things get a bit fuzzy at that point, so I only remember that it hurt like hell and her mum drove me home asap. My dad takes one look at me, curses her out for not taking me to the ER, and drives me there himself. When we get there we we’re told to sit and wait.

We wait for several hours. I pass out a few times and have worked myself into hysteria. Dad is trying to get the staff to get me in quicker, at least so I can get some painkillers. A sweet guy in the waiting room with a sprained foot is called before us, and insists that the little girl (aka me) get treatment first.

I am admitted and a doctor comes by to check out my swollen and discoloured hand. What happened next still gives me nightmares.

He prods at it, and cheerfully tells me and my dad that they’ll probably have to amputate it.

Now, I was already hysterical. Being told that I am going to lose my hand did NOT help things. Things get fuzzy here, but dad later told me I had a panic attack and that a nurse had to administer a mild sedative, and that they finally gave me some heavy duty painkillers.

I remember being very impressed with the shiny elevator on the way up to x-ray and much less impressed with the technician when they had to straighten out my fingers for the x-rays.

And guess what the x-rays showed? No breaks. A slight hairline fracture to one finger, but nothing that needed a cast. Definitely not amputation material. Some nerve damage, but all in all it wasn’t that bad. Dad cried, and I cried. The nurses were shocked when they heard why and what the doctor had told a terrified teenager in pain. A supervisor was called, and the doctor came slinking back to apologize for his mistake, and to this day I’m sort of shocked my dad refrained from hitting him.

They Put The A$s Into Aspergers

, , , | Right | June 28, 2017

(I’m standing at our service desk doing some paperwork when two customers approach me regarding a price check. I say “Sure!” and scan the item for them, then tell them the price.)

Customer: “Sir, you don’t have to be so sarcastic with me.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “You shouldn’t take that kind of tone with customers, especially not ones that spend as much as I do here.”

(For the record I’ve worked full-time here for seven years and have never seen her before.)

Me: “I don’t understand, ma’am. I merely scanned the item for you and told you the price; I don’t see how I was rude or disrespectful.”

Customer: “See? There it is again! You have such a snarky tone to what you’re saying!”

(Then it dawns on me…)

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize, but I have Asperger’s syndrome. It’s a neurological disorder and part of it affects my speech.”

Customer: “As-what?” *she smiles at me wide-eyed, then looks at her companion, who also smiles, like it’s all a big joke*

Me: “As-per-ger’s syndrome.”

(I am now getting uncomfortable, I normally try to hide my condition at all costs. People misunderstand and assume all kinds of things. I even once had a boss almost let me go because he thought it was the same as Alzheimer’s and assumed I would gradually lose my memory.)

Customer: *giving me a sceptical look* “Yeah… well, you should probably get that taken care of, because someone could really misunderstand and think you’re talking that way on purpose.”

Me: *getting angry that she would suggest it’s just as simple as taking a pill or getting a shot* “I wish it were that simple, ma’am, but there’s no cure for it. It’s something I’ll deal with my whole life. I’m sorry that it inconvenienced you.”

(With that they walk away. She’s barely five feet from me when I hear her tell her friend: Well, that’s what we get with equal opportunity employers!)

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