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Extra Immersive Theater

, , , , , , , | Right | November 13, 2022

My first job while in high school was at a local theater. I have quite a few fond memories of that place, but this experience always has stuck with me.

This is a unique live theater that is called a “theater in the round”. You have to go up a flight of stairs before going into the theater and then go down into a sort of pit to view the stage in the middle with seats all around. It’s pretty dark, so there are ushers at each door with a flashlight if someone needs to exit the theater for whatever reason.

The managers are very firm about manning your door and get upset if you are absent for any amount of time. You also have big doors to get through the outside of the theater before the door to your seating area with another usher to help out latecomers.

In this instance, an older gentleman comes out of the theater with an urgent need for the bathroom. The bathrooms are right next to the openings to the doors, so while he’s doing his business, his usher is standing next to the door usher just chatting. This guy is taking quite a while, so a manager swoops in to tell off the usher for not manning their door. When it’s explained that they are waiting on a patron in the bathrooms, the manager grumbles and says they’d better not be much longer before heading off.

Fast forward a bit, and it’s almost time for intermission. I’m setting up concessions on the other side of the lobby with a clear view of the two ushers standing at the door, who are now looking worried about the patron still in the bathroom. He finally emerges.

He dashes over to the two ushers, says something, and then proceeds to sprint down the stairs and out the front doors. The two ushers are looking perplexed when a look of horror suddenly spreads over their faces. Then, they start to uncontrollably dry heave while trying to cover their mouths.

They soon follow after the patron and run outside to get fresh air. The manager has missed them running out, but she has noticed that a door still isn’t manned, so she is on her way up to rip an employee a new one. She gets about halfway up the stairs before she appears to hit an invisible wall, sways a bit, and then cries out, “DEAR LORD!” before retreating quickly back down the stairs and also outside.

At this point, the other ushers at concessions and I start to look very worried about what is clearly headed our way and what we should do…

….and then the tone rings for intermission and the doors to the theater open up.

After all the chaos is over, the theater apologizes and makes the excuse that a sewer main backed up into our upper-floor toilets. One of the newer ushers draws the short straw to clean it up (which we now know was illegal). He has to take frequent breaks and just keeps asking, “How?”

To this day, I still wonder what exactly was wrong for one man to produce something so toxic to almost clear out a whole theater.

Don’t Take That Tone With Her

, , , , , | Working | November 2, 2022

When I was fourteen, I in no way dressed feminine; I wore baggy 2000s sports clothes (always black if possible) and a crappy cap. Yeah, I was very cool.

I had been to the toilet in the mall and was whistling a tune to myself while washing my hands. An older cleaning lady in the room turned toward me with a scowl and said, in the nastiest tone only grumpy old ladies can produce:

Old Lady: “Girls don’t whistle!”

And then, she left with her cleaning trolley, while I just stood there looking dumbfounded at the encounter. It still baffles me to this day how much low whistling apparently could offend someone… and that whistling is gendered.

You Just Permanently Ruined My Appetite

, , , , , , , , | Working | October 26, 2022

This takes place early on in the global health crisis, around mid- to late 2020, during a bathroom break on one of my shifts. My boss is using the urinal while my coworker is in the stall. My coworker finishes up and walks out of the stall, but my boss stops him.

Boss: “Flush that toilet, [Coworker], or you’re fired. And remember to wash your hands. We’re in a [health crisis], you know.”

My coworker grumbled, flushed the toilet, and then stormed over to the sink to wash his hands. I then went into the now-vacated stall and closed the door. My boss finished using the urinal at that moment and left the men’s room… without flushing or washing his hands.

I should probably mention at this point that we work in a food distribution warehouse, handling all manner of food products that later get distributed to grocery stores to be sold to consumers.

That Accusation Can Go Right Down The Toilet

, , , | Right | October 20, 2022

I work in retail. I am talking with a male coworker after coming back from a week of vacation.

Coworker: “The ladies’ room ran out of toilet paper yesterday. I was the only one available to restock it at the time.”

Me: “Okay, sounds fair.”

Coworker: “I knocked on the door and nobody answered, so I went in. But I saw that someone was in one of the stalls moaning about having no paper, so I placed the toilet roll down on the floor next to the stall so the lady would be able to reach it and I walked out. After she came out, the lady flipped out! She was complaining about a man coming into the lady’s room without knocking.”

Later that day, I see a woman complaining to the manager.

Customer: “…and there was a man in the ladies’ room!”

Manager: “Do you know which employee it was?”

She looks at me, and then describes me!

Customer: “It was the big guy with the beard!”

I was the only employee that matched that description. She didn’t realize, though, that I was on vacation. I hadn’t even been in the store for days. She just wanted to get somebody in trouble, no matter who it was.

This Coworker’s Laziness Is Disgusting

, , , , | Working | October 10, 2022

Content Warning: Gross


I work in an office supply store. Before my shift one day, an older lady went rushing into the store.

Lady: “Where’s your restroom?”

The front-end cashier directed the customer to the restrooms and continued working. The lady rushed out of the store about ten minutes later.

Lady: “Sorry about the mess.”

The cashier checked the restroom and came back to the general manager.

Cashier: “That older lady who was just here had explosive diarrhea all over the accessible stall.”

General Manager: “Go clean it up, then.”

When I came in later, the cashier told me about the mess and everything and then went home without having cleaned the restroom.

I had a slow night in my department, so I took three pairs of gloves and the strongest cleaning supplies we had. I ended up spending half my shift cleaning the restroom because, by the time I got in there, it was already crusty.

This was one time I had no problem dropping the dime on a coworker’s negligence.