Sometimes Instant Karma Is A Little Gross

, , , , , , | Friendly | July 11, 2021

I’m non-binary, which means that even though I physically present male, I don’t care what gender I’m associated with. I’ll usually dress neutrally, but sometimes I dress more feminine. When this story takes place, I am wearing a feminine top and a woman’s jacket with camouflage pants. I’m in the bathroom at a fast food restaurant when a man comes up behind me.

Man: “Hey, [transphobic slur]!”

Before I can even turn around and while I’m still using the urinal, the man grabs my shoulder and spins me around. He did this so suddenly, I didn’t have much time to react and I accidentally splashed his boots with… well, you know. 

Man: “UGH! WHAT THE F***, MAN?!”

He then sprints out of the bathroom. Shaken up but thinking this is the end of the encounter, I finish my business and walk out of the bathroom. A manager stops me before I reach the food counter to place my order. The man is with him and looks really angry.

Manager: “This man says you peed on him in the bathroom because he asked to use the urinal next. You need to leave or I’ll be calling the police.”

Man: “And you’d better apologize to me, you [transphobic slur]!”

Me: “Um… actually, you yanked me away from the urinal while I was using it.”

Man: “That’s a lie!” *To the manager* “This [transphobic slur] and people like him should be locked in jail! They’re mentally diseased!”

Me: *Stunned* “But… you’re the one yelling insults at strangers.”

Manager: “I don’t care who started this.” *Looks at me* “You need to leave now or the cops will be called.” *Looks at the man* “You need to leave, too.”

Man: “But why me? I’m the victim! This [transphobic slur] peed all over me!”

I’m not usually a confrontational person, so I complied with the manager and left the restaurant. I didn’t see how the rest of it went down, but I did pass by a cop with flashing lights on my way home.

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Wash Your Hands And Watch Your Mouth

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Gabi_Babii | July 6, 2021

I’m visiting my mother at work today. My mum works in an office that gives out documents for truck drivers. Like every employee, my mother has keys to the office staff toilets, whereas the drivers don’t have them and have to use another, paid toilet. In order not to lose money, my mother usually gives me these keys.

My mother has always told me that the women in her work were terribly messy. There was often water spilled over the sink, paper was all over the floor around the toilets, and sometimes the women didn’t flush after using the toilet.

When I went to the toilet, the first thing I saw was a stack of pizza boxes standing on the sink, just left by some woman. Who does that?

I hate mess. When I see something being messed up, I can’t walk past it, and I just clean it up.

So, I take those pizza boxes, fold them up, and throw them in the trash. And then, I see a big puddle of water on the floor. Great. I get some paper towels and start wiping it up. Then, a woman comes into the toilet. She walks past me, ignoring me. I have not even finished wiping the floor when the woman shouts.


Me: “Hold on!”

I take the roll of toilet paper, throw it into the toilet cubicle, and go back to mopping the floor. When the woman comes out, she immediately approaches me.

Woman: “Start doing your job seriously.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “You should make sure that there is toilet paper in every cubicle.”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Woman: “You do. Otherwise, why would you be wiping the floor?”

Me: “Because there was a puddle of water?”

Woman: “And why are you wiping it?”

Me: “Because women like you make a mess and leave it for the cleaners to clean up later!”

Woman: “That’s what cleaners like you are for. By the way, wipe around the toilet. It’s dirty there.”

Me: *Angry* “I don’t work here. And even if I did, that doesn’t give you the right to humiliate me or anyone else. If there weren’t any cleaners, you’d be walking around with a s***-covered a**.”

I throw the paper in the bin and start to leave. I feel the woman grab my jacket. I turn rapidly toward her.

Me: “Don’t touch me with your dirty hands. I didn’t hear you flush the toilet. You are disgusting.”

The woman was shocked. I fixed my jacket and left the toilet.

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Who’s The Real Baby Here?

, , , | Right | CREDIT: TheMidwestD**e | June 16, 2021

I work at a local sub shop in my town. We have single-stall bathrooms — the kind where you walk in and the toilet and sink are next to each other and you have to lock the door behind yourself. We have baby changing tables in both the women’s and men’s bathrooms because single fathers exist.

A customer orders his sandwich and heads into the bathroom. A moment later, he storms out of the bathroom and snaps his fingers at me.

Customer: “Hey, kid!”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: “Why is there one of them women’s things in the men’s bathroom?”

I have no clue what he’s talking about.

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “One of them girly tables for the babies — you have one in the man bathroom!”

Me: “Oh, the changing table? Yes, sir, we have one in both bathrooms.”

He huffs and puts his hands on his hips in an exaggerated fashion.

Customer: “Well, why is that?”

Me: “So that men can change their babies’ diapers if they need to.”

Customer: “That’s the wife’s job. Why are you promoting men to be like women?!”

Me: “Sometimes single fathers come in, or it’ll just be a dad and his kids. It’s just there for convenience.”

Customer: “It makes me feel like a woman. I don’t need it in the men’s bathroom.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Honestly, I am past the point of caring and am just trying to appease him so he’ll leave me alone.

Customer: “Well, I don’t need to use it!”

Me: “Sir, you’re not obligated to use the baby changing table.”

He just stares at me with his mouth hanging open before shaking his head, sighing, and saying to himself:

Customer: “I can’t believe these d*** kids.”

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When You Have To Explain How Locked Doors Work…

, , , | Right | March 20, 2021

I am a female employee at a place that has single-person bathrooms — one for men, one for women. A male customer approaches me.

Customer: “Do I need a key for the bathroom?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “But the door is locked.”

Me: “Oh, then that means someone is already in the restroom and they locked the door.”

Customer: “Can you unlock it for me?

Me: “No, there is already someone in there using the restroom.”

Customer: “But I need to go in there! Can’t you unlock it for me?”

Me: “No. No, I can’t. But I am sure that when the other person is done, they will leave, and you can go in.”

I just walked away.

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Having Some Men Problems

, , , | Right | February 26, 2021

I am talking to a female mall security guard when a stranger comes up.

Stranger: “Hey, there are a couple of guys in the ladies’ toilet. One went into a stall and the other is hanging about the sink, apparently waiting for his friend. But he’s creeping us girls out!”

Guard: “All right, let’s have a look.”

Stranger: “They’re in costume, heads completely covered, so we have no idea what they really look like.”

Guard: “Hmm…”

The guard turns to me.

Guard: “Sorry, give me a moment.”

After a while, the guard returns alone.

Me: “What was that?”

Guard: “They were girls! They were just dressed as male characters. Told them to keep their heads out so nobody sees them as men.”

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