What You Manifest Will Come To Be

, , , , , , , | Working | May 13, 2021

My dad had a very superstitious employee. Every Friday the thirteenth, this employee would call in sick. Finally, my dad had enough of this and told the employee that if he called in sick like this again he would be fired.

The next Friday the thirteenth was a very foggy morning. The employee usually would come in before dawn. The office was at the end of a service road with only a ditch past it. When the employee came to work that Friday, he drove past the office and ended up in that ditch. After that, my dad told him he could take personal days from then on.

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She’s Already Seen It All

, , , , , | Working | May 13, 2021

In the nineties, I rented a room from an old lady of almost 100 years old, in exchange for doing her shopping and helping her with other small things. One day, she couldn’t pick up the phone herself for a moment, so I did. It was a telemarketer.

Me: “Residence of [Landlady].”

Telemarketer: “Can I interest your landlady in [Newspaper]?”

Me: “She’s not interested.”

Telemarketer: “I didn’t hear you ask her.”

Me: “I didn’t need to ask her; I know she doesn’t want a subscription.”

Telemarketer: “But I didn’t hear you asking her.”

Me: “She doesn’t want it.”

Telemarketer: “You didn’t ask her.”

Me: “I know she doesn’t want it.”

Telemarketer: “But you didn’t ask her. It’s a very good newspaper with interesting articles—”

Me: “She isn’t interested.”

Telemarketer: “You haven’t asked her. This is such a good newspaper; she’ll enjoy—”

Me: “She isn’t interested.”

Telemarketer: “You haven’t asked her. Why wouldn’t she be interested?”

Me: “She’s blind!

Telemarketer: “Ehhh, no, then she wouldn’t be interested.”

They hung up.

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Not So Syrupy Sweet

, , , , , | Working | CREDIT: No-Finger2501 | May 12, 2021

I’m with friends at one of the UK’s main coffee shop brands. When I am served by the barista, it is obvious that I am going to have an “experience.” This guy acts haughty and speaks to people with a sneer, and he comes across like he considers himself a prince amongst men. He has long, floppy fringe that he keeps brushing out of his contempt-filled eyes every few seconds. He clearly doesn’t want to be here or deal with the likes of me. It’s awkward for both of us.

It is very early in January, and the shop still has advertisements up for Christmas seasonal drinks. I’m a fan of uncommon flavoured coffee or hot chocolate, and said shop is advertising a Black Forest Hot Chocolate. Black Forest is basically dark chocolate, black cherry, and cream. I order one and the barista looks me up and down and sneers.

Barista: “That’s a Christmas drink.”

Me: “Yes.”

Barista: “It’s after Christmas.”

Me: “Yes.”

Barista: *Smirking* “I can’t make you a Christmas drink.”

Me: “But you’re advertising it, and you’ve still got the ingredients open behind the counter.”

This drink is basically a shot of the flavoured sauce, hot chocolate, and cream on top. It’s not that onerous or taxing to make compared to a normal hot chocolate. It’s literally a normal hot chocolate with a flavour syrup put in.

The barista sighs and rolls his eyes.

Barista: “It’s not available right now.”

I wonder if he is being a tool for some unknown superiority complex, is being lazy and doesn’t want to make this beverage, or if there really is some directive. So, I throw up a weather balloon question.

Me: “Okay, fine. In that case, would I be able to buy a single shot of a flavoured syrup, please? It says they are 35p on the board.”

Barista: *Dismissively* “I don’t see why not.”

Me: “Can I order a shot of the black cherry syrup there, but in a medium-sized takeaway cup?”

The barista tuts and silently turns, gets a shot of said syrup in a cup for me, and contemptuously places it in front of me.

Barista: “Anything else?”

I slide the cup back to him.

Me: “Can you make a medium hot chocolate in this cup for me, please, and stir it well before you put the whipped cream on top?”

The barista grimaced as he realized that I’d followed his instructions completely and still gotten myself a Black Forest Hot Chocolate.

I stood and watched him make it, which he did with the most reluctant and bitter energy imaginable. For the record, it was pretty good.

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Nobody Likes A Saucy Cashier

, , , | Working | May 12, 2021

I live in a small town. Everyone recognizes everyone even if they don’t know their names, eventually. This employee has worked cashiering and food prep at a restaurant for more than a year at the same place. She sucks at taking direction but not usually enough to complain about. I go there about twice a month, and it’s always her.

I prefer a burger with a certain specialty bread but found last time that the bread turns into goo and snot with the normal mayonnaise, which is the only sauce for that burger.

Me: “I’ll have a [burger], no mayo.”

Employee: *Dramatic sigh* “Just say ‘no sauce’!”

Me: *Surprised* “Uh, okay. No sauce.”

The burger is slathered with ketchup and it is an AWFUL taste, because I don’t know anyone who wants their bacon dipped in ketchup, and because the bread was liquified during transit. I throw it away. A couple of weeks later, I decide to be more specific.

Me: “I’ll have [burger], no mayo, no ketchup, no mustard—”

As I’m listing, the same employee interrupts me with a major attitude problem. 

Employee: *Angry, almost yelling* “You don’t have to list everything! Obviously! Just say, ‘No sauce!’ And [burger] only comes with mayonnaise!”

Me: *Matching her tone, but louder to speak over her in return*Apparently, I do, since last time I got a ball of ketchup and snot with bacon instead of a [burger]! Now as. I. Was. Saying. No mayo, no ketchup, no mustard, no teriyaki, no ranch, nothing liquid in the burger. Only the [solid/non-sauce ingredients]. Or as someone here who prefers to language-police everything told me, ‘No sauce.’”

Employee: *Embarrassed, quieter* “Oh, uh, so… Whatever!”

Whereas before, that employee would hand off the food, on my approach, she stomps off. Her manager passes me the container.

Manager: “Sorry about that. Uh, we are still training her…”

Me: *Still kind of pissed* “In what world does ‘no sauce’ mean ‘slather this in ketchup even though that’s not normally on it’? And why is it okay to shout over people like that? She has worked here for more than a year, so it sounds to me like she is either beyond teaching or intentionally defiant.”

The burger was correct. The next time I came by, a different person was handling orders, and I haven’t had any problems since then. I asked after her and was told she was moved to janitorial duties since she couldn’t be trusted cashiering or in food prep.

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Welcome To Bizarro World Coffee Shop

, , , , , | Working | May 11, 2021

I’m about two hours away from home when I decide to stop at a popular coffee chain that I love to frequent. The building is empty, but as soon as I step inside, things get weird.

Employee: *Immediately upon seeing me enter* “We don’t take no card inside right now. Cash only.”

Me: “Oh. Um. Okay. You said inside? Do you… take cards in the drive-thru only?”

Employee: “Yeah, I guess that’s fine.”

Me: “Okay, so… I’ll just go… get back in my car, then. See you soon!”

I’m a little perplexed by this, considering I’ve worked in fast food before and our POS systems were connected, but I figure it must work differently here. I leave the store, get in my car, and pull around to the drive-thru.

Me: “Hi there, can I get [common tea drink], and—”

Employee: “No. We don’t make those.”

Me: *Pauses* “Since when?”

Employee: “They were limited time only.”

Me: “I’ve been getting them for over a year and you… have a big sign for them on your menu board—”

Employee:Nope! Can’t sell it.”

Me: “Okay… I’ll just get a latte, then, please. And a plain coffee with cream and no sugar.”

Employee: “Yeah, I actually still have all the stuff to make you a [common tea drink]. But I won’t. Can’t. Not allowed.”

Me: “Uh, okay, that’s fine. Just the latte and plain coffee with cream, no sugar, please, then.”

She told me to pull around and finally gave me my drinks. My boyfriend told me his plain coffee was black and overloaded on sugar when I brought it to him. When I went back home, I ended up stopping at my regular coffee chain who served me my tea with no issue, and they looked really confused when I asked if it was limited time only. I looked up the first shop later and it turned out that they’re the worst-rated chain store I’ve ever seen still in business! No wonder they were empty.

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