As Long As She Remembers To Pay You

, , , | Working | February 23, 2021

I have decided that one of the assistant managers in our store might actually have memory issues. Whenever she goes on the PA system to give customers the fifteen-minute warning before we close, she’s always blanking on the name of our store. It’s the only place she works.

I feel like memory loss concerns were confirmed, though, when I got yelled at the other day. I work recovery, putting things back where they’re supposed to go when customers set them in the wrong spots around the store. This day I was working in the Chemicals/Cleaners department in the back of the store near the employee door to our backroom and break area. The assistant manager told me to go on break, so I put my cart in the backroom and then headed to the front of the store and punched out for my break. 

When I got back after my break, the assistant manager yelled at me for not grabbing the cart from the back of the store and taking it to the front of the store because, “You’re wasting time going up front and then walking all the way back here to get the cart.” I was stunned, as the backroom was literally right next to where I would be putting the cart of product away — too stunned to point that out to her. 

Later, when I did point it out to her, she didn’t even remember chewing me out in the first place. It’s not the first time she’s chewed me out for how I did something and then not remember she’d yelled. 

Thankfully, she’s only the assistant manager.

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Show Us That You Want It

, , , , | Working | February 23, 2021

One of the guys who works for me just about gets by. He does nothing really wrong, and he does his job, but he does nothing more. He’s one of these guys who is first in the queue to clock out every single day, even if there is a mess he is leaving behind.

And that’s fine, but I have made sure to explain that pay rises and promotions go to the people who show that they work above and beyond. He just isn’t interested, and year after year, he gets passed by for pay rises and promotions. 

One day, he pulls me aside.

Worker: “I’ve found another job and I’m thinking about taking it.”

Me: “Oh, really?! I’m sorry to hear that. Can I ask what it is?”

Worker: “Sure.”

He hands me a printed job description.

Me: “Okay, so this is shift work; that’s why the pay is so much better. You’re happy with this? I just remember talking to you about this before and you refused.”

Worker: “Oh, is it? Yeah, I guess so, then. Unless you can match the pay?”

Me: “I’m going to be honest with you: I can’t give you a supervisor’s pay grade unless you start to take on additional work.”

Worker: “Oh, okay, I’ll think about it.”

He thinks about it and ends up taking a completely different job a few months down the line. The woman who was already covering his holidays manages to do his job and part of her old one, too. After a six-month probation, she gets the easiest pay rise I have ever had to fight for. And I am training her to replace me someday.

It goes to show that effort can pay off. Don’t expect managers to throw money at you unless you are going to do a little bit extra.

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You Really Couldn’t Manage This

, , , , , | Working | February 22, 2021

I’m a manager. One of the other managers pulls me to one side and begs me to talk to one of my team members. Apparently, he has been applying to every job available and then harassing the manager for updates. The problem is that he is not suitable for any of them; the guy barely manages to do his own job and is only still employed because he has been here for so long.

I go to speak to him and he is clearly in a bad mood already.

Me: “Can I speak to you about your recent job applications?”

Worker: “Can you tell [Manager] to respond to my emails? It’s been days and I haven’t heard anything.”

Me: “Okay. One: it takes weeks to interview and get back to everyone. And two: it’s human resources, not [Manager], that will give you a response.”

Worker: “Oh, I should be chasing HR. I knew it would be that woman somehow. She doesn’t like me.”

Me: *Already regretting this* “No, don’t do that. She will send all the responses out at the end. Can we talk about the roles you applied for?”

Worker: “I don’t see what business that is of yours.”

I’m screaming internally for him to shut up and let me help.

Me: “No, but I would like to help. You applied for several management positions—”

Worker: “Yeah, I could do that. I mean, you only walk around. Seems easy.”

Me: *Swearing internally* “That’s not the only thing we do. Do you have any experience in management or managing people?”

Worker: “Well, no, but I get along with everyone.”

He does not; people find him aggressive and difficult.

Me: “Okay, well, just something to think about — if that is really suitable given your experience. I see you have applied to a number of design roles, as well.”

Worker: “Yeah, yeah, drag, drop, copy, and paste. I can do all that.”

Me: “Have you used [Design Software] before?”

Worker: “Well, no, but I get all my reporting done right.”

He does not, in fact, get it right. After many attempts to help him, we long abandoned using his Excel reports due to the many, many mistakes. A grandmother working a few stations past him does it for us without problems.

Me: “Listen. These roles are not for you. But we can sit down and work out what we can do to progress you. I invited you to a development session next month.”

Worker: “Yeah, I suppose so.”

He did not turn up to the session but called in sick, apparently bedridden. But he was later spotted shopping in the supermarket right next to work at lunchtime. He stopped to chat with several employees, not expecting anyone to say anything. I left the company years after; he never got a promotion. Managing people is hard work sometimes.

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Following The Rules To The Letter

, , , , | Working | February 19, 2021

I get a coupon for my favorite sandwich place. Score! I head to the place and make my order, and at the end, I present the coupon.

Employee: “Sorry, ma’am, that coupon only applies to online and phone orders.”

Me: “So, I can’t order over the counter?”

Employee: “Sorry, but no. Online and phone only.”

Without moving from my spot, I got my phone and called the number for the sandwich place. Without breaking eye contact with the employee, I saw him pick up the phone on the wall and speak his greeting.

He quickly realized he was talking to me standing a few feet away as I repeated my exact same order.

He sighed and just applied the coupon.

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Time To Move Back Home!

, , , | Working | February 18, 2021

My insurance broker calls me one morning the month before my car insurance is set to renew. She tells me that my premium is supposed to go up significantly but suggests switching to the company that my home insurance is with for a discount.

I have been working from home these last few months and never got around to updating my car insurance, so I mention that. The agent tries to pull a quote from my current company but has to call me back. When she does…

Agent: “Is [Father] related to you?”

Me: “Yes, that’s my father.”

Agent: “You were signed up under a multi-vehicle discount with him. When I went to update your policy, it was coming up more expensive because you’re not at the same address.”

Me: “But I haven’t lived at that address the entire time I’ve owned this car!”

It wasn’t the agent’s fault, so I guess I got an extra discount for a decade?

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