This Is Going To Be A Very Long Account

, , , | Right | July 23, 2021

I was helping an elderly customer making their first customer account on our website. They did try from the website on a tablet and then the app on said tablet; they didn’t have a computer. After thirty minutes of it not working:

Customer: “Would it work on the app from a phone?”

Me: “Yes, that should work, but it might be difficult now since you’re talking with me.”

Customer: “The phone is around here somewhere, but it’s been hard to find all day.”

I assumed they maybe had two phones for different purposes, so I just waited… until the customer realised that they were using said phone to talk with me.

After a forty-minute phone call without them being able to make an account, they would now try on their own and call back the day after. I ended up staying until well after closing because of the call.

At least the customer was nice to talk to and joked about their own mistake, so that was not as bad as it could have been.

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Customers From The Third Dimension

, , | Working | July 15, 2021

It’s been a long day and I’ve had it up to here. I’m, in short, too tired to figure out what weirdly phrased questions mean right off the bat. We’re finally about to close when a customer approaches me with a pair of normal-looking reading glasses, clearly marked as such.

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Yes, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Are these glasses 3D?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Are. These. Glasses. 3D?”

Me: “Well, er, everything in this shop is 3D.”

Customer: “What?”

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Nothing Comic About This

, , , , | Legal | July 6, 2021

We order a weekly comic book from a publisher. The publishing house is very big, partly owned by the government, and publishes most Finnish magazines, comic books, and few newspapers, one of them the biggest newspaper in Finland.

My husband answers a call from a telemarketer. The telemarketer is from that publisher and he is trying to convince my husband that our subscription will be cancelled.

Telemarketer: “Starting next month, you will not receive any more comic books if you don’t order [Comic Book] Extra, an additional weekly comic book.”

My husband and I would never order anything over the phone, but the telemarketer’s claim is so ridiculous my husband wants to hear more. He argues back.

Husband: “We have already paid in advance for a one-year subscription and we still have ten months left.”

Telemarketer: “Well, you won’t be receiving that money back.”

Somehow they end the call, and the telemarketer’s last words are that now, we won’t be getting our comic books OR money back.

My husband is furious about such blatant attempted fraud. He is also worried some lonely granny is going to fall for it, so he tries to contact the publisher and tell them one of their sales representatives has attempted fraud. They have absolutely zero contact info, and upon closer inspection, it is apparent that they have outsourced their sales and customer service to a different company. My husband tries and tries calling them, finally gets hold of someone, and explains the situation, the time it happened, the number they called from, etc.

The customer service person is very understanding.

Husband: “Depending on how this goes, I might be interested in reporting that representative to the police, so please keep me updated.”

Representative: “We will!”

It’s been two years and we’ve heard nothing.

We cancelled our subscription because it left such a bad taste in our mouths.

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The Customers Are Already Crazy Enough

, , | Right | July 5, 2021

I work in customer service. This incident happened to my coworker, who was sitting in the booth next to mine. Because the conversation was on the phone, we others could only hear our coworker’s side of the conversation.

The call seemed going fine and was mostly one-sided with the customer doing all the talking, while our coworker was mostly just making friendly conversation noises like, “Yeah? Oh, really? Okay,” and the like. Then, we hear these two gems.

Coworker: *In a fake impressed but conversational voice* “So, you’re the chosen one of Allah himself?”

And a little later:

Coworker: *In the same voice* “Oh, you have an IQ of 350? That’s impressive. Then you’re really smart!”

The rest of us all had problems holding our laughter because the conversation was so bizarre, and we were dying to hear what was going on. The call lasted close to an hour, and our coworker told us afterward that this person was (or claimed to be) in a mental hospital and was delusional. The subjects went from one to another, so it was difficult to keep track of it all, but he apparently just needed someone to talk to, since he was a bit lonely and worried about the current world situation.

My coworker did not mind at all talking with the customer and would gladly spend another hour with him if it meant avoiding our regular horror customers.

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The Biggest (And Cutest) Mood

, , , , , | Related | July 2, 2021

We have two small children, ages five and three. One morning, we are eating breakfast.

Three-Year-Old: *Quietly* “Mommy, are we going out today?”

Me: “Yes, we will soon go to kindergarten.”

The five-year-old slams their fist on the table.

Five-Year-Old: *Loudly* “Not again!”

The three-year-old gently puts their fist on the table.

Three-Year-Old: *Whispering* “Not again.”

Yeah, kids, I know the feeling.

For the record, the kids love their kindergarten and have absolutely no issues going there. They just hate waking up early to prepare for it.

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