At A Hair-Loss For Words

, , | Healthy | January 3, 2018

(The men in my family tend to start suffering from hair loss in their mid-20s, and mine seems to have started, so I go to a nearby pharmacy to buy certain shampoo recommended by my stepfather. Note that I have grown my hair for a few years and it’s currently some 18 to 20 inches long.)

Employee: “Hello, can I help you with anything?”

Me: “Yes, I was looking for certain shampoo but don’t remember the name of the product.”

Employee: “What kind of shampoo? For dry hair, or–”

Me: “For hair loss.”

Employee: *goes silent and stares at my long hair, then grabs a bottle off a shelf* “Well, we have this one.”

Me: “That’s the product; thank you!”

(I only realized what had happened after I got back home.)

Don’t Be Xena-Phobic

, , | Hopeless | December 14, 2017

(I’m in a convention with role playing games such as LARPs and tabletop games as its theme. There are some dressing rooms for putting on costumes, and I’m there, chatting with a couple of other people as we get into our outfits. I’m in a post-apocalyptic getup and am about to add war paint on my face, when a little girl comes in with her mother.)

Girl: *looks at me as I paint a red hand-print over a black mask painted over my eyes* “Hi! Have you been coming here for long?”

Me: *though I don’t know the girl, I’m used to people of all ages making easy chit-chat in this particular event* “About five years, so I guess not that long. How about you?”

Girl: *proudly* “I was zero years old when I first came to this con! Mom brought me.”

Me: “Cool! You’ve been doing this for a long time then.”

Girl: “What are you dressed up as?”

Me: “I’m a post-apocalyptic scavenger and an explorer. Are you going to dress up?”

Girl: *beaming and with great pride* “Yep! I’m going to be a ninja geisha!”

Me: “That’s awesome!”

(As I speak, my heart is busy melting because the girl is so excited about the whole thing, and it made me remember how I wanted to be a warrior princess when I was little. It was absolutely adorable!)


You Can “Take On Me” But Really You’ll Be “Livin’ On A Prayer”

, , , , , | Right | December 14, 2017

You Can “(My friend is the manager of a hotel in our town, and is also the DJ. The restaurant is having an eighties theme night, and he plays the music from that era. Past midnight, a quite-drunk man comes to him and makes demands.)

Customer: “You need to play something better! Play some new stuff!”

DJ: *jokingly* “Sorry, sir, but tonight is the night of the dinosaurs.”

Customer: *upset* “But I want some good music!”

(Again my friend shakes his head. The drunk man raises his voice and shouts:)

Customer: “If you don’t play the music I want to hear, right now, you will be very sorry. I know the manager of this place! I will call him and have you fired!”

DJ: *with a smile* “Really?”

Customer: “Yes! Will you play something better, now?”

DJ: “It is still a no!”

(The customer goes away, cursing. The DJ tells me later:)

DJ: “I really wish he would have gotten my number and called me right there. It would have been nice to see his face when I picked up my phone and looked him in the face and said, ‘Hello?’”

The Older Have Less Time

, , , | Right | November 22, 2017

(I am conducting customer interviews for a local mall, by phone. Note that I have to ask the age of the interviewees so we don’t get too many answers from our older customers.)

Customer: “Hi!”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] from [Company]!”


Me: “We are conducting customer interviews regarding malls. Would you have the time to answer a few questions?”

Customer: “I guess I do.”

Me: “Okay, may I first ask your age?”

Customer: “I don’t have the time, bye.” *hangs up*

Pokémon Go To The Doctors

, , | Healthy | November 15, 2017

(It is right around the time when Pokémon Go has come out. I take a fairly serious fall and injure my hip. When it doesn’t improve after a few days, I go to a doctor who specializes in sports injuries.)

Doctor: “How did you injure your hip?”

Me: “I fell off a stepladder.”

Doctor: “Oh, thank goodness! You’re the first patient I’ve had all week who didn’t injure themselves playing Pokémon Go.”

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