Welcome To The Customer Retention Circus
This story reminded me of what happened the last time I had to update my phone contract.
I got a notice that my discounted rate would end soon. Since I was heading over to a store to buy an unrelated item, I decided to ask about a new rate while I was at it. Apparently, the very best they could offer me at [ISP] was about one and a half times the rate I had now.
I told my significant other about it, and they told me that they had recently updated their plans with a rate that was about the same as my discounted one, with the same services, at a kiosk in a mall nearby.
“Great! This will be easy,” I thought, and headed over to the mall to find the kiosk.
At the kiosk, it was explained to me that yes, they could offer the rate my SO had told me about — but only for new customers. Since I was an old customer, no good rates for me.
So, I walked over to the kiosk of [Rival ISP] and asked for their best rate if I switched over. I got something a bit higher than the rate for new customers at my current ISP. I signed the papers right there and went home.
A couple of days later, as expected, my still-current ISP called me. They noticed I was switching ISPs and wanted to offer me a good deal if I stayed. Somehow, that deal was the exact same one offered to new customers at the kiosk.
I ended up accepting that deal. It was a pretty good deal, but holy crap do the ISPs make you jump through hoops to get those deals. I’ve been a customer of the same ISP for over twenty years now, and the only thanks I get is having to jump through the same hoops every two years.
I swear, the day one ISP implements discounts for staying over two years, I’m switching over.
Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?
