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DVDim, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | November 22, 2022

A man in his forties comes in and spends at least three hours browsing every single title on the wall. He refuses my help several times, and eventually, he comes up to the counter with five brand-new games on almost every system we carry. After I ring in his selection of “Cabela’s Hunting”, “Nascar Racing”, and “UFC Fighting”, he pays and leaves.

Several hours later, he returns by throwing open the front door and yelling:

Customer: “What kind of s***-show are you running here?!”

He is red in the face as he stomps toward me and throws his bag of games onto the counter.

Customer: “None of these work! This is a s*** store! What kind of business…”

He rants and yells at me for a minute or so before he decides to take a breath.

Me: “You tried the games on your Xbox, PC, and PlayStation, and none of them worked?”

Customer: “I just got that new player from [Major Retailer] this afternoon, and none of these games work!

Of course, he doesn’t know the name of “the disc player” that he bought. After several painful minutes, he shows me the [Major Retailer] receipt out of his pocket.

Me: “These games are not going to work, sir. You bought a DVD player.”

He did not understand why this was a problem. I refunded him out of pity.

Related:
DVDim

For The Record, I’m Not Interested In Your Spiel

, , , , , , | Working | CREDIT: LOUDCO-HD | October 30, 2022

I recently received an unsolicited call from my bank to tell me about “exciting new account options,” which is bank-speak to sell me ones with higher service charges. Sorry, I seriously doubt anything having to do with bank accounts can be EXCITING!

Representative: “This call is being recorded for quality…” *And so on*

Me: “Good. I’m recording it, too.”

He didn’t like that.

Representative: “That’s not necessary. You can obtain a copy of my recording or a transcript by requesting it in writing and paying a nominal fee of [amount].”

Me: “If I record you myself, then it’s free and I have it immediately.”

Representative: “I can’t continue if you’re recording me.”

Me: “That’s okay by me. I didn’t ask for this call in the first place.”

That was the end of that. The funny thing is that I wasn’t actually going to record him — just f****** with you, bruh! But why is it okay for you to do it but not me?

To clarify, criminal law in Canada says that you can record a conversation as long as one of the parties consents. Therefore, if you are the one making the recording, you consented. However, you cannot secretly record two people talking in their home.

The Power Of Hot Pockets

, , , | Right | September 19, 2022

I am taking reservations for a very popular campsite. A woman calls.

Caller: “I need a power site.” 

Power sites have power hookups for RVs. Unfortunately, we do not have any power sites left, so I offer a non-power site.

Caller: “No. It absolutely has to be a power site!”

Me: “Is this perhaps for a medical reason, as we have disabled sites—”

Caller: “Oh, no, it’s just that the generator won’t power our microwave.”

Happy camping, lady!

Freedom To Make The Choice I Want You To Make

, , , , , , , | Friendly | September 10, 2022

This was just after our province lifted the mandatory mask mandate but still stated that masks were optional. I have an autoimmune disorder where I have to actively kill (suppress) my immune system so it doesn’t kill me. I wore masks into crowded places during really bad flu seasons before it became a topic of argument.

My province had a lot of people who did not believe in mandates or masks, so they started trucking convoys to block roads and even managed to shut down cities so people couldn’t get around. The organizer always said, “We are doing this for freedom of choice.”

After one of these convoys, the mask mandate went away, so of course, they took the credit. This annoying exchange took place after that.

I was about to walk into a store where I knew it was going to be crowded, so I put on a mask. A guy came up to me.

Guy: *Very angry* “HOW DARE YOU?!”

Me: “What?!”

Guy: “HOW DARE YOU WEAR A MASK AND RUIN WHAT I FOUGHT FOR?!”

I didn’t know what to say, and he was blocking my path.

Guy: “I was with the convoy! I fought for us to no longer have to wear masks, so take it off!”

Me: “I thought you guys were fighting for freedom of choice?”

Guy: “Uh… well…”

I quickly bolted past him before he could think of a reply.

This Customer Has A Latte Problems, Part 4

, , , , , | Right | August 24, 2022

I work at a popular chain of coffee shops.

Customer: “Hi. I’d like a venti latte with oat milk, please.”

Me: “Okay, great.”

I press the button on the register for “Oat Latte”.

Customer: “No, not an oat latte. A latte with oat milk.”

Me: “Right. I mean, it’s the same thing. I just have a button for ‘oat latte’ instead of ‘latte with oat milk’.”

The customer is stone-faced.

Me: “All righty, then. That’ll be [amount], and it will be up on the left for you.”

When the drink is put up on the bar for the customer to grab, he reads the label.

Customer: “Excuse me. This is an oat latte. I specifically asked for a latte with oat milk.”

Coworker: “Yes, sir, that’s what it is. It’s the same thing.”

Customer: “NO, IT IS NOT. REMAKE IT!”

My coworker ended up remaking the drink — exactly the same way — but when she handed it to him, she said, “Latte with oat milk,” and the customer was finally satisfied. It’s become a joke in our family now that if you’re being irrationally obtuse, someone says, “Okay, oat milk!”

Related:
This Customer Has A Latte Problems, Part 3
This Customer Has A Latte Problems, Part 2
This Customer Has A Latte Problems