The (Water)Mark Of A Good Boss

, , , , | Working | August 9, 2018

(I work at a company as a photographer. Recently, my boss suggested getting the watermark always used on our images changed, so I got a new watermark from our graphic designer and starting using it. Several weeks later, I am chatting with my boss.)

Boss: *while scrolling through images* “That watermark looks so much nicer than the old one!”

Me: “I agree!”

Boss: “Good job suggesting that.”

Me: “Um… That was actually your idea.”

Boss: “Oh?”

Me: *laughing* “So, good job!”

Boss: “Thanks! I just wanted to be complimented.”

Me: “Slightly backhanded, but hey, it worked!”

A Very Family-Friendly Hotel!

, , , , , | Working | August 9, 2018

(I work at a hotel where we take third-party online reservations. Every now and again, reservations will come in that have requests attached, but we can’t always view the whole request, because of miscommunications between the third-party system and the hotel’s system.)

Guest: “We did put in a request for a baby crib, if you have one, but we figured the message didn’t go through.”

(I check, and start laughing.)

Me: *between laughs* “It did… It just got cut off, so it says, ‘Could you please provide us with a baby.’”

(The guest chuckles.)

Guest: “We already have two; we don’t need any more.”

Me: “I will go get you that crib.”

Guest: “Hopefully without a baby in it!”

No… Just No

, , , | Right | August 8, 2018

(I am working by myself on a Sunday morning and a customer comes in. Our store policy prohibits us from asking yes or no questions to customers, so we have to give open-ended questions to get the customer talking to us.)

Me: “Hello, sir.”

Customer: “Hello.”

Me: “How are you doing today?”

Customer: “No, thank you.”

Me: “Um… That doesn’t answer my question.”

Customer: “Did you not hear me? I SAID NO!”

My Hope For Humanity Is Melting

, , , , | Right | August 6, 2018

Customer: “Do you have any ice?”

Me: “Yes, we do!”

(I point towards our freezer of ice. The customer opens the door to the freezer and shuffles around a few bags before turning back to face me with a disappointed look on her face.)

Customer: “Do you have any ice less frozen?”

Me: “Um… No, I’m sorry. We do not.”

No Tolerance For Gluten Intolerance

, , , , , | Friendly | July 30, 2018

(After struggling with multiple concerning symptoms for years, my Mom is diagnosed with Celiac disease. She takes it quite hard as she already has a few severe food allergies, and now she has to add gluten intolerance/allergy to the list. This happens around the time that “going gluten-free” started to become a trendy diet. We are having dinner with family friends and we’ve just told them about my Mom’s recent diagnosis.)

Friend: “Oh, so you’re trying out the gluten-free diet?”

Mom: “I wish I could just ‘try it out.’ This is a life thing; I have Celiac disease.”

Friend: “Oh, wow, okay.”

(Approximately a month later, same friend:)

Friend: “So, are you still doing the gluten-free diet? How do you like it?”

Mom: “I hate it, and I’m not ‘doing the diet.’ I have Celiac disease. I can’t have gluten, ever. I can’t go back to it.”

Friend: “Oh, right, okay.”

(Another month or so later:)

Friend: “Still going gluten-free, hey? You must have lost a ton of weight by now!”

My Sister & Me: “SHE HAS A DISEASE! THIS IS NOT A DIET!”

Friend: “Okay, sheesh! No need to yell at me!”

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