When I worked at the big chain pharmacy in my hometown, we would have big waves of customers coming in looking for prescriptions. Sometimes, when it was quieter, I would get into a stance as if I was playing baseball.

Coworker: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m getting ready for the bus of old ladies heading to the casino. They all need their dozen prescriptions, even though half of them aren’t due for a refill.”

Cut to about a year later. I moved out of my hometown to another part of the state, and I transferred to the pharmacy at that location. I continued my gag of getting into a baseball stance, explaining to my coworkers what it was about. One day, I looked out of the store to see a large group of older women beelining toward the pharmacy.

Me: “THE TIME HAS COME!”

Turns out, it really was a bus of ladies from a nearby senior living community heading to a casino, and they were using the advantage of having the bus to pick up their prescriptions before they left!

Some years ago, I managed a small warehouse. I had five to six people under me. Most of the time, there weren’t any major issues and everyone got along pretty well. Like most places, if you’re going to be late or you are sick, you call in to let your work know. Well, today wasn’t a normal day for one employee.

I start asking around if anyone has seen [Employee]. I haven’t heard from him and he’s almost an hour late. The weather is kind of bad; we got a bunch of snow last night, so the roads aren’t that clear. No one has heard from him.

I make my way to my supervisor’s office and ask if he’s heard from [Employee] since he is the most reliable guy I’ve seen, always checking in with work if he is running late or is out sick. It is very unlike him to not let us know why he’s late or not coming in.

My supervisor hasn’t heard from him, either, so we wait an hour. We still haven’t heard anything from [Employee]. My supervisor has all employees’ home phone numbers, so he decides he should call [Employee]’s home to see where he is or if something has happened.

I don’t hear the other side of the phone conversation, except for a couple of spots where yelling is involved.

[Employee]’s wife answers the phone when my supervisor calls.

Supervisor: “Hello. This is [Employee]’s supervisor. I was just calling to see if he was at home or if you know why he’s not at work yet?”

Something transpires between my supervisor and [Employee]’s wife.

Supervisor: “Okay. I’m sorry for disturbing you. We’re just concerned because [Employee] hasn’t come into work yet, and it’s not like him to not show up or not call—”

Something else transpires between my supervisor and [Employee]’s wife.

Supervisor: “Yes, I apologize for calling your home and disturbing you. It wasn’t my inten—”

Now I can hear [Employee]’s wife screaming through the phone as my supervisor pulls the phone away from his ear.

Wife: “I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DON’T F****** KNOW WHERE HE IS! WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME?! I DON’T GIVE A F*** ABOUT—”

My supervisor hangs up the phone to avoid having to listen to her scream at him. My supervisor’s eyes are wide as we just look at each other for a moment, trying to figure out what the h*** just happened.

A moment later, the phone rings on my supervisor’s desk and he answers the phone. He pulls the receiver away from his ear and I can hear [Employee]’s wife screaming at him.

Wife: “NO ONE HANGS UP ON ME! WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU? I DON’T CARE WHY YOU’RE CALLING HERE ASKING FOR [EMPLOYEE]! I DON’T F****** KNOW WHERE HE IS! HE! IS! NOT! HERE!”

Supervisor: “Ma’am. Please stop yelling at me and stop cussing at me. If you continue to do so, I will hang up.”

Wife: “YOU CAN’T F****** TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU F******—”

My supervisor slams the receiver down.

Supervisor: “I sure hope she’s not like that with [Employee].”

Me: “Wow. I can’t believe she called you back to continue yelling at you for checking in on her husband. She’s nuts. I’ll just get back to work. Let me know if you by chance hear anything from [Employee].”

[Employee] did eventually show up about another hour later. He said he had started his van that he parks in his driveway in the morning to let it warm up. He came out about twenty minutes later and the van was gone; someone had stolen it from his driveway. He called the cops and then followed the tire tracks in the snow to see which way his van had gone. He said he followed the tracks for a few blocks and found the van stuck in the ditch. He had to wait for a tow truck to pull the van out of the ditch and also file a report with the police. That’s why he was so late.

I told him that we called his house trying to see if he was still there or if something had happened to him. There was a look of horror on [Employee]’s face when I told him we called his house. He said his wife was going to yell at him when he got home because she doesn’t like anyone calling the house for him.

I left that job a few years later, and to this day I don’t know if [Employee] is still married to her, but I sure hope he’s not, for his health and wellbeing.

I needed a new roof on my house and was collecting quotes. One of the companies I had in was a metal roofing company “looking to complete some show homes in the area to build their new business.” The visit started simply enough, with the man getting onto the existing roof to assess and measure. When he entered my foyer to sell, that’s when it all went downhill.

He handed me a brochure about metal roofing and started talking about the environmental footprint of metal roofing versus asphalt roofing. Now, I’m a chemical engineer with experience in mining and oil and gas, so when someone starts BS-ing me about the topic, I know. He started saying things that were clearly untrue. I tried to keep my mouth shut and just listen, but I finally just came out and said:

Me: “I’m a chemical engineer. I know how oil extraction and mining work and their impacts.”

This was when he changed… tactics? I hesitate to call it that because I can’t imagine who in their right mind would think this was a good sales strategy. The next words out of his mouth were:

Employee: “Perhaps your husband would understand this better.”

The next ten minutes were a continuation of his repeated lies, punctuated by comments like, “Maybe I should come back when your husband is home,” “I’m sure your husband would understand this,” and, “I think maybe you don’t understand.”

My grim smile became more and more forced and I tried various ways to end the visit. Finally, he handed me a DVD.

Employee: “You can watch this video about the process with your husband and I’m sure he can explain it to you. Here’s my card.”

I had already decided that getting a metal roof wasn’t worth this pompous a**, but I just threw his sales materials on the table and forgot about them. A week later, I received a follow-up call from the man himself, asking if I would like to schedule my roofing job. Of course, my answer was no. He asked why not.

Me: “Well, for starters, the information you presented to me about metal and asphalt roofing was untrue. Secondly, when I explained to you how I had the expertise to know it was untrue, you repeatedly insisted that my husband, with less knowledge, would understand better than I could.”

He sputtered something about me not knowing what I was talking about, then demanded his DVD back. I told him I would put it in the mailbox and he could come to pick it up when he felt like it.

After a week of the DVD sitting in my mailbox, I threw it in the trash.

It’s spring 2022 and everyone is back at the office. We’re having a meeting in one of the conference rooms. The person doing the presentation puts their slideshow up on the large smart monitor. This monitor is — I cannot stress this enough — in the same physical conference room where everyone else is.

Presenter: *Points at the screen* “Okay, can everyone see this?”

Everyone: “…Yes?”

Presenter: “Good. Now, I called this meeting to…”

The penny drops.

Presenter: “Oh. Sorry. It’s been two years of Zoom meetings.”

I have submitted a few stories about my father-in-law, including this one. The company he has worked with for several decades trusts him with purchasing equipment.

My father-in-law was working on a piece of equipment when the owner of the company came into the garage. He told my father-in-law that the company needed some more pickup trucks and to go down to the dealership they dealt with and get a couple ordered. My father-in-law finished up what he was doing and drove over without changing his oil- and grease-covered mechanic’s overalls.

When he walked in, he saw a few salesmen sitting in a waiting area talking and laughing. One of them had his picture on the wall behind him as a top salesman for the dealership. My father-in-law walked over and began to introduce himself.

Father-In-Law: “Hi, I’m [Father-In-Law], and I am from—”

Salesman: “Yeah, yeah. Look, we don’t have time right now for lookers. We are pretty busy.”

Father-In-Law: “I’m here to buy.”

The salesman looked him up and down.

Salesman: *With a smirk* “Yeah, okay. Go over to that office and the new guy can deal with you.”

[Father-In-Law] went over to the office and saw a young man at a desk eating a sandwich. When he saw my father-in-law, the young man put his food down, stood up, walked over, and offered his hand to shake.

Young Man: “Hello, sir. Welcome to [Dealership]. How can I help you today?”

Father-In-Law: “My name is [Father-In-Law]. Are you new?”

Young Man: “Yes, sir. It’s my first week, but I promise you I will do my best to help you find the vehicle you want, and I have a great manager here that can help me with what I don’t know.”

[Young Man] took over three hours going around the lot, showing my father-in-law trucks, doing test drives, discussing what each truck came with, and offering financing options. The whole time, my father-in-law saw the other salesman laughing and smirking, doing pretty much nothing.

As they were sitting back at [Young Man]’s desk, [Father-In-Law] told him which truck he would be getting, but he wanted it in a specific color.

Young Man: “Oh, that is no problem. We can order it. And we need to set up the financing. “

Father-In-Law: “Great. I need seven of them. And this will be a cash sale.”

Young Man: “W… What did you say? 

Father-In-Law: “I said seven, cash, and it will be for [Construction Company].”

Young Man: “Will you please excuse me for a minute?”

At this point, the young man about ran out of the office and came back with the manager.  

Manager: “Well, hello, [Father-In-Law]! How are you? [Construction Company’s Owner] called me earlier and said you were coming in. How has my new salesman been treating you?”

Father-In-Law: “Beyond incredibly well, while your other salesman — who I think is one of your top producers — was pretty rude to me.”

Manager: *Angrily* “Is that so?”

Father-In-Law: “You have a real gem with this one. He didn’t judge me based on my appearance. He treated me like I was the only customer in the county. He took an incredible amount of time helping me find the best truck for our situation. He was respectful, friendly, and honest when he didn’t know the answer to a question. As long as he is here, this is the salesman [Construction Company] will be dealing with. And he’d better get the entire commission from this sale.”

The manager assured [Father-In-Law] that [Young Man] would. For a span of fifteen years, my father-in-law would not only order company vehicles from this salesman but also personal vehicles, and he recommended him to all his family and friends. He had great respect for the young man, who did very well for himself with his career. [Young Man] eventually was able to open his own dealership in the town and became the one the construction company always bought from.

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