Chemsplaining To A Chemical Engineer

I needed a new roof on my house and was collecting quotes. One of the companies I had in was a metal roofing company “looking to complete some show homes in the area to build their new business.” The visit started simply enough, with the man getting onto the existing roof to assess and measure. When he entered my foyer to sell, that’s when it all went downhill.

He handed me a brochure about metal roofing and started talking about the environmental footprint of metal roofing versus asphalt roofing. Now, I’m a chemical engineer with experience in mining and oil and gas, so when someone starts BS-ing me about the topic, I know. He started saying things that were clearly untrue. I tried to keep my mouth shut and just listen, but I finally just came out and said:

Me: “I’m a chemical engineer. I know how oil extraction and mining work and their impacts.”

This was when he changed… tactics? I hesitate to call it that because I can’t imagine who in their right mind would think this was a good sales strategy. The next words out of his mouth were:

Employee: “Perhaps your husband would understand this better.”

The next ten minutes were a continuation of his repeated lies, punctuated by comments like, “Maybe I should come back when your husband is home,” “I’m sure your husband would understand this,” and, “I think maybe you don’t understand.”

My grim smile became more and more forced and I tried various ways to end the visit. Finally, he handed me a DVD.

Employee: “You can watch this video about the process with your husband and I’m sure he can explain it to you. Here’s my card.”

I had already decided that getting a metal roof wasn’t worth this pompous a**, but I just threw his sales materials on the table and forgot about them. A week later, I received a follow-up call from the man himself, asking if I would like to schedule my roofing job. Of course, my answer was no. He asked why not.

Me: “Well, for starters, the information you presented to me about metal and asphalt roofing was untrue. Secondly, when I explained to you how I had the expertise to know it was untrue, you repeatedly insisted that my husband, with less knowledge, would understand better than I could.”

He sputtered something about me not knowing what I was talking about, then demanded his DVD back. I told him I would put it in the mailbox and he could come to pick it up when he felt like it.

After a week of the DVD sitting in my mailbox, I threw it in the trash.