I own a flower shop, and this has led to a few difficulties making deliveries where buildings are locked up due to health crisis restrictions, but until this point, everything has made sense and just caused a few delays. My mom is making a delivery to the Secretary of State building when she is met with true idiocracy. There is a woman standing outside of the building checking people in, whom my mom approaches.

Mom: “Hello, I have a delivery for [SOS Employee].”

Clerk: “Do you have an appointment?”

Mom: “No, but I don’t need anything from you. I just received an order for [Employee] that I need to drop off.”

Clerk: “I can’t let you in without an appointment.”

Mom: “That’s all right, I don’t need to go in, if you wouldn’t mind taking these in for [Employee]. They were ordered today for her birthday.”

Clerk: “Everyone needs an appointment. We cannot help you without one.”

Mom: “This order was just placed today. There was no way for me to make an appointment to drop them off. Could you just take them inside to [Employee]? They’re for her birthday today.”

She holds out the flowers for the woman to take.

Clerk: “You should have planned ahead and made an appointment.”

Mom: “So, should I just make appointments every day just in case I have to make a delivery? I think that would be a waste of everyone’s time to schedule appointments when I dont know if I have a delivery.”

Clerk: “No, you can not make an appointment unless you need to do business here.”

Mom: “Are you not allowed to receive deliveries here at all? Is that why you can’t take these inside for [Employee]?” 

Clerk: “For the last time, you need an appointment in order for me to help you.”

Mom: “Is there a supervisor I can talk to? I don’t think you are listening to me.”

Clerk: “I will not go get anyone else. They will just tell you the same thing.”

Mom: “Listen. For the last time, I do not need help. I just have a delivery for [Employee]. I should not need an appointment to just drop off something for her birthday.”

At this point, she glances into the empty office, makes eye contact with someone else behind the desk, and waves at her. The woman starts to head out to see what is going on.

Clerk: “I said we are not going to bother my supervisor. She won’t let you in without an appointment, either.” 

The supervisor comes out a few seconds later.

Supervisor: “Is there something I can help you with?”

Mom: “Yes, I have a delivery for [Employee].” *Holds out the flowers*

Supervisor: “Oh, how beautiful! They must be for her birthday. She is out for lunch right now but, I will make sure she gets them when she gets back.”

Mom: “Thanks, have a great day.

As my mom is walking away, she hears:

Clerk: “She didn’t have an appointment.”

Supervisor: “Why would she need an appointment just to drop off flowers?”

My husband goes in to return a bunch of empties (cans and bottles). He stands in line to cash the voucher. On his turn, he hands over the voucher.

Husband: “Just this voucher.”

The cashier scans the voucher, waits as the belt slowly advances, takes the pralines from the next customer in line, and scans them.

Cashier: “3.10€.”

Husband: “I just had the voucher.”

Next Guy In Line: “Oh, those are mine.”

Cashier: “3.10€.”

Husband: “No, I just wanted to cash the voucher. That’s not my product.”

Cashier: “Well, I already scanned it.”

Husband: “Remove it, please. I just want my money.”

Cashier: “Can’t you just pay? It’s 3.10€.”

Husband: “This is not mine. I don’t want to buy this guy’s pralines. I just want my money.”

Cashier: “You’re holding up the line. Just pay now and resolve this with him after.”

Husband: “No! Just give me the money for my voucher, please.”

The cashier grumbles and makes a big production of punching around on the register elaborately, before dumping his coins on the belt.

Cashier: “Next!”

I have just arrived at the dentist’s office a bit before my appointment. After a few moments, the receptionist calls me over.

Receptionist: “We need to take care of your balance before your appointment.”

Me: “What balance?”

Receptionist: “From your last visit; you had a remaining balance.”

My last visit was six months ago, but I never received a bill.

Me: “That should have been covered. What’s the balance?”

Receptionist: “I need to look it up. Give me a moment.”

She starts going through the software, talking to the woman next to her. They go back and forth complaining about the new accounting software and complaining that they can’t find my balance. By now, it’s five minutes after my appointment was supposed to start, and the hygienist has already waved at me from behind the desk.

Me: “Can I do my appointment now while you two are working on this?”

Receptionist: “No, you have to settle the bill for your last cleaning before we do another one.”

Me: “Well… okay, but why are you waiting until right now to do this? I never got a bill, and the balance was never mentioned when I made this appointment or when you called me to confirm it.”

Receptionist: “We use a third party to send out the bills, so we have no control over that. And the system doesn’t tell us if you have a balance or not when we’re making appointments. Sorry about this. Just sit down and we’ll pull up the information.”

I sit down and wait. And wait. And wait. I can’t hear everything they say, but they seem to still be struggling to pull up my balance from their software. By now, my appointment slot is almost passed, and I have to get back to work.

Receptionist: “Sorry about this. Can you stay a bit longer? We had an opening after yours that you can take.”

Me: “No, I can’t. I have to get back to work.”

Receptionist: “Ah… okay. We’ll call you this afternoon with the balance, and you can make an appointment then. Sound good?”

Me: “Sure.”

I’m not happy with the situation, but I figure I’ll wait and see what the balance is and why I have it. I don’t get a call that afternoon, but I do get a call the next week… telling me I have a $50 fee for missing my appointment. I call them back up.

Me: “So, I have a fee for missing my last appointment on [date]?”

Receptionist: “Oh, yes, thank you for returning our call. What’s the card number?”

Me: “Um, no, I’m not paying this. I was at the appointment. You guys said I had a balance, which you couldn’t find, so I wasted my whole appointment in the waiting room waiting for you to figure out what I owed.”

Receptionist: “Yes, I remember. You left after that instead of taking the next appointment slot you were offered, which is why you’re getting that fee.”

Me: “I had to get back to work. I didn’t have time to stay for another hour.”

Receptionist: “I understand that. But when we book an appointment, we need to have some billable activity in that appointment, or we’re losing money, which is why we charge fees for missed appointments.”

Me: “But it’s not my fault you guys wouldn’t let me keep the appointment.”

Receptionist: “I understand that, but you were offered the next appointment and still chose to leave.”

Me: “Look. I’m not paying a fee for sitting around in the waiting room for an hour.”

Receptionist: *Sighing* “Let me talk to the office supervisor. We’ll call you back.”

They didn’t call me back. I figured the matter was resolved, so I never called back, but instead, I switched dentists so I could get my cleaning. Apparently, I should have followed up, because today I got a notice that a $50 bill had been sent to collections from my dentist, despite (again) no bills being sent to me. Still no word on that original balance, though.

Related:
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 18
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 17
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 16
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 15
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 14

When I worked at the big chain pharmacy in my hometown, we would have big waves of customers coming in looking for prescriptions. Sometimes, when it was quieter, I would get into a stance as if I was playing baseball.

Coworker: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m getting ready for the bus of old ladies heading to the casino. They all need their dozen prescriptions, even though half of them aren’t due for a refill.”

Cut to about a year later. I moved out of my hometown to another part of the state, and I transferred to the pharmacy at that location. I continued my gag of getting into a baseball stance, explaining to my coworkers what it was about. One day, I looked out of the store to see a large group of older women beelining toward the pharmacy.

Me: “THE TIME HAS COME!”

Turns out, it really was a bus of ladies from a nearby senior living community heading to a casino, and they were using the advantage of having the bus to pick up their prescriptions before they left!

Some years ago, I managed a small warehouse. I had five to six people under me. Most of the time, there weren’t any major issues and everyone got along pretty well. Like most places, if you’re going to be late or you are sick, you call in to let your work know. Well, today wasn’t a normal day for one employee.

I start asking around if anyone has seen [Employee]. I haven’t heard from him and he’s almost an hour late. The weather is kind of bad; we got a bunch of snow last night, so the roads aren’t that clear. No one has heard from him.

I make my way to my supervisor’s office and ask if he’s heard from [Employee] since he is the most reliable guy I’ve seen, always checking in with work if he is running late or is out sick. It is very unlike him to not let us know why he’s late or not coming in.

My supervisor hasn’t heard from him, either, so we wait an hour. We still haven’t heard anything from [Employee]. My supervisor has all employees’ home phone numbers, so he decides he should call [Employee]’s home to see where he is or if something has happened.

I don’t hear the other side of the phone conversation, except for a couple of spots where yelling is involved.

[Employee]’s wife answers the phone when my supervisor calls.

Supervisor: “Hello. This is [Employee]’s supervisor. I was just calling to see if he was at home or if you know why he’s not at work yet?”

Something transpires between my supervisor and [Employee]’s wife.

Supervisor: “Okay. I’m sorry for disturbing you. We’re just concerned because [Employee] hasn’t come into work yet, and it’s not like him to not show up or not call—”

Something else transpires between my supervisor and [Employee]’s wife.

Supervisor: “Yes, I apologize for calling your home and disturbing you. It wasn’t my inten—”

Now I can hear [Employee]’s wife screaming through the phone as my supervisor pulls the phone away from his ear.

Wife: “I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DON’T F****** KNOW WHERE HE IS! WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME?! I DON’T GIVE A F*** ABOUT—”

My supervisor hangs up the phone to avoid having to listen to her scream at him. My supervisor’s eyes are wide as we just look at each other for a moment, trying to figure out what the h*** just happened.

A moment later, the phone rings on my supervisor’s desk and he answers the phone. He pulls the receiver away from his ear and I can hear [Employee]’s wife screaming at him.

Wife: “NO ONE HANGS UP ON ME! WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU? I DON’T CARE WHY YOU’RE CALLING HERE ASKING FOR [EMPLOYEE]! I DON’T F****** KNOW WHERE HE IS! HE! IS! NOT! HERE!”

Supervisor: “Ma’am. Please stop yelling at me and stop cussing at me. If you continue to do so, I will hang up.”

Wife: “YOU CAN’T F****** TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU F******—”

My supervisor slams the receiver down.

Supervisor: “I sure hope she’s not like that with [Employee].”

Me: “Wow. I can’t believe she called you back to continue yelling at you for checking in on her husband. She’s nuts. I’ll just get back to work. Let me know if you by chance hear anything from [Employee].”

[Employee] did eventually show up about another hour later. He said he had started his van that he parks in his driveway in the morning to let it warm up. He came out about twenty minutes later and the van was gone; someone had stolen it from his driveway. He called the cops and then followed the tire tracks in the snow to see which way his van had gone. He said he followed the tracks for a few blocks and found the van stuck in the ditch. He had to wait for a tow truck to pull the van out of the ditch and also file a report with the police. That’s why he was so late.

I told him that we called his house trying to see if he was still there or if something had happened to him. There was a look of horror on [Employee]’s face when I told him we called his house. He said his wife was going to yell at him when he got home because she doesn’t like anyone calling the house for him.

I left that job a few years later, and to this day I don’t know if [Employee] is still married to her, but I sure hope he’s not, for his health and wellbeing.