I have been wondering if I have ADD/ADHD for a long time. I finally decided to find a doctor and see what can be done. The day of my appointment, I was sitting alone at lunch, making a list of reasons I think I have it. (Coworker) came and sat with me; we’re polite, but I wouldn’t say we were friends.

Coworker: “Whatcha doing?”

Me: “Taking notes for a doctor this afternoon.”

Coworker: *She takes my notes and reads them.* “Oh. You think you have ADHD.”

Me: “Maybe.”

Coworker: “Did TikTok tell you that?”

Me: “I don’t have social media.”

Coworker: “Well, this one can be fixed if you cut down on screen time. This you can remove, because everybody does that. That one, just cut out anything artificial or processed, and go for a more fish-based diet. That—”

Me: “—You have ADHD?”

Coworker: “No! I’m just tired of people saying they have it when they’re just lazy or stupid or—”

Me: “—So you have a medical license?”

Coworker: “No?”

Me: “Then maybe leave the diagnosing to the professionals, huh?”

Coworker: “I’m just saying, drugs aren’t always a good choice.”

Me: “Calling your coworkers lazy or stupid when you insert yourself in their business isn’t a great choice, either.”

She rolls her eyes and leaves. I have already done loads of research and made several lifestyle changes, including the ones she listed, and things did improve a little bit, but I think I can do better. After I met with my doctor, she agreed to start me on a low-dose medication, and things are finally improving!

I worked in a movie and bookstore from 2008 to 2012. My coworker and I are big movie buffs and usually take pride in being able to help customers find obscure movies or discover new favorites. We try to only help when asked, though, as management has said our love of movies can be a bit “intense”.

A father and son are browsing the DVD selection. ‘The Karate Kid’ remake with Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan had recently come out in theaters. The son notices the “Karate Kid 2” with Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita.

Son: “Dad! Look! There’s a part two! Can we get it?!”

Dad: “Aww, no son, there are different people in this. It’s probably a bootleg!”

I look over at my coworker. He still has bitemarks on his knuckles from that day…

In a former job, I had a colleague who, despite being properly educated, with a master’s degree and all the shenanigans, had a very limited functional vocabulary when it was about work. I don’t know if it was laziness or something else, but everything was “the thing”. 

Normally, we were able to manage our interaction and actually understand what “the thing” was, but one day we were swamped with work, being the last day of a deadline for which we had a lot of administration to do, filling in and submitting forms with no moment to breathe. And this colleague calls me from their desk, just behind mine.

Colleague: “[My Name], any update on the thing?”

Me: “What thing?”

Colleague: “The thing, about the thing.”

Me: “I can’t get what you mean. Can you be more specific?”

Colleague: “You know, the thing for the thing, we had to do this thing, but we were waiting for thing from thing. Has it been done?”

Having lost already enough focus, I stood up, picked up a dictionary from the little bookshelf in our office, put it on their desk, and told them:

Me: “I know no things and can’t run after things right now. When you have found the words, I am at my desk.”

I might have overreacted a tad, and they were visibly taken aback by my reaction, but seriously, how do you expect me to understand anything if everything is a thing?

I’m chatting with a coworker, and the topic of heritage comes up.

Coworker: “I’m something like… three hundred and ninety-fourth in line for the French throne. Which doesn’t really mean anything unless they reinstate the monarchy and a whooole lot of people die.”

He pauses, then shrugs.

Coworker: “I don’t think I could do that much killing.”

Our overly condescending boss is looking over my coworker’s work. It’s my coworker’s last week working here.

Boss: “Can I ask a stupid question?”

Coworker: “In my experience, frequently.”

Boss: “…”

The boss asked nothing and simply walked away. I can’t wait until it’s MY last week. I have so many things to say…