I had a Nissan Maxima that I’d bought used. It had a slow steering wheel fluid leak, which would’ve cost $1,200 to fix, or just $2 a week to refill the fluid reservoir. I decided to get rid of it, because I’d moved within walking distance to work. I figured I couldn’t get it sold with the chronic leak. But then a coworker (known for telling tall tales) offered to buy it for $600. I agreed, with him paying me $100 a month. I mistakenly let him keep my license plates so that he could get them from Virginia to where he lived in Maryland.

He, of course, didn’t get new Maryland tags. He kept driving it with mine. He also drove it to his work site near the Navy Yard in DC, where he got a parking ticket. All of this was unknown to me until I got a summons for the unpaid ticket months later. I confronted him, and he agreed to pay it. He also said he’d get Maryland plates.

The next day, he gave me a check for the amount, but the check was from his fiancée’s account. I immediately cashed it at her bank (it was good), because the signature looked wonky, not at all in a woman’s handwriting.

By that time, he was late paying me $200 on the car itself. I then asked a mutual friend (the friend who actually got him the job at our company) what his Maryland address was. Then at lunch, I drove up and found the Maxima, with my plates still on it. I removed them and left him a note saying that I’d retrieved my plates.

I then cut off all contact with him. He worked in a different part of our office building, so avoiding him was easy. I also gave up getting the last of the purchase price. It was a small price to pay to not have to deal with him anymore.

I work on a large cruise ship. One of our crew members, whom I manage, doesn’t work in a passenger-facing position because they have zero patience for general stupidity. Sadly, he is sometimes approached by passengers with questions when he has to traverse the ship.

Coworker: “You need to talk to [Crew Member] about his conversation with a passenger later.”

Me: “Oh no… what did he do now?”

Coworker: “To be fair, the question was kinda stupid.”

Me: “What did he do?!”

Coworker: “A passenger asked him if we live on the ship, too.”

Me: “Okay, that’s one of the classic stupid questions on a cruise. What did he say?”

Coworker: “He just said ‘yes’.”

Me: “But… there’s more, isn’t there?”

Coworker: “So apparently, the passenger was pushing it, not believing we all lived aboard too, because the passenger said, ‘I been all over this d*** boat and I don’t see how there’s room for all y’all too!” So [Crew Member] told him we live inside the walls and are always watching. The passenger was very upset.”

Me: *Sigh.* “I wish we could walk through the walls, so that [Crew Member] never has to interact with another passenger ever again…”

During the height of COVID, everyone had to work from home. So, as the somewhat IT-guy, it was my privilege to facilitate everyone’s home office. Whenever someone was experiencing issues with anything tech-related, they called me.

If we ever had any incidents, management required everyone to call me so I could log and explain their downtime. A bit bureaucratic, but whatever.

One day, I got a call from a coworker whom I know pretty well and also known to be relatively tech-savvy. His wife was expecting soon, and she was already on leave, but still insisted on not sitting around. The call went a bit like this:

Coworker: *Loud vacuum noises in the background.* “Hi mate, my computer isn’t working right now.”

Me: “What’s going on? Does the screen light up? Are the lights on the computer blinking or on?”

Coworker: “No, they’re not on. As a matter of fact, nothing is really working. You see, my wife wanted to vacuum my home office and unplugged the PC.”

Me: “Ah… Can you plug it back in?”

Coworker: “Well, my pregnant wife said this is the only working socket, so no, I will not be able to plug it back in until she is done.”

At this point, I started to catch on that this was a hostage situation, and his wife was listening in on the call. I also realised he was calling just to log his downtime, not to actually report a problem.

Me: “Ah, I see now. How long do you think this ‘unscheduled maintenance’ might take?”

Coworker: “About fifteen more minutes.”

Me: “Very well.”

I marked his downtime as unexpected and incidental, and that was that. When your pregnant wife says it’s the only working socket, it’s best not to argue.

I’m browsing my phone in the breakroom, and coming across an interesting fact makes me say:

Me: “Huh.”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “Did you know that the easternmost point of Brazil is closer to Africa than to its westernmost point?”

Coworker: “That can’t be right!”

Me: “Yeah, the easternmost point of Brazil is 2,900 kilometers from Africa, but because Brazil is so wide, the westernmost point is over 4,300 kilometers away.”

Coworker: “Wow!”

Another coworker is walking by.

Other Coworker: “Did you know Brazil is in Africa now?”

Me: “Wait, no—”

Other Coworker: “—Wow! When did they move?”

This would have been more forgivable if I didn’t work for an airline and the other two coworkers weren’t pilots. Sadly, I seem to be in the minority, as I got home and told my mom this exact same story, and she said:

Mom: “Oh, I thought Brazil was always in Africa…”

I used to work as a delivery driver at a regional pizza chain. About an hour before the end of my shift, my manager asked me if I’d be willing to help with deliveries at another location in our district (about 30 minutes away), as they had a call-out and were getting slammed. I agreed and made the drive over there. 

At around 7:30 PM, the manager of that location approached the cashier and me on shift.

Manager: “Alright, we’ve died down now, and I don’t really have the hours to keep you both around, so I’ve gotta send one of you home.”

Cashier: *Literally bouncing up and down.* “Ooh, me! Send me! I wanna go home!”

Me: “I’ve been working since 11 AM. It’s nearly three hours after my shift was originally supposed to end. I’m in a store I don’t normally work at, in an area I’m not familiar with.” *To the cashier.* “You were scheduled to work, here at this location, from 5 ’til 8 PM. Yeah, no, I’m going home…”