One day in March or April, one of my classmates comes to class wearing a full-body Pikachu costume. The professor is just as perplexed as all of us.

Professor: “Why on Earth are you wearing that?”

Student: “But [Professor], it’s in the syllabus!”

Professor: “Where is it in the syllabus that you should wear a Pikachu costume today?”

Student: “It says, right here, for today’s lesson, ‘Come in costume.’”

They show the professor a copy of the syllabus.

Professor: “So it does.” *Eyes go wide in realization* “Okay, ladies and gentlemen, this is why you don’t just copy the lesson plan from the last semester and change the dates without bothering to read it. When I taught this course in the fall semester, this lesson was on Halloween. I didn’t realize that was still in there!”

We have a big family (one mom, five kids) who comes to the library every day, and they each take out the maximum (five) DVDs allowed for an individual. Next, Mom will come up to the desk and ask to place holds on new DVDs from downtown, using each of the kids’ cards to do so.

The next step in this little scam — which she seems to believe will prevent late fees — is to make a big production about how they never go downtown because it’s SO far out of their way. Then, they will return items without the DVDs inside and tell us, “Oh, we got it like that,” despite having watched us open and check each DVD when we checked the item out.

Next, they will come in to take more movies out despite still having five each STILL on their cards and new ones on hold. When we pull up the record, the items are still out.

Every time:

Mom: “Oh, that’s wrong. We took every last one downtown and dropped them in the movie drop last week.”

Boss: “Then we should have them.”

Mom: “Well, they are really slow about getting this checked in, you know.”

Boss: “They aren’t that slow.”

Mom: “You should call them.”

Of course, we do, even though we know our colleagues are NOT going to have the DVDs.

Two or three weeks later, Mom and the kids show up with all the movies and hand them over and are upset when they owe money. 

Boss: “So, did you crawl into the DVD drop bin to get these back?”

Mom: “What?! We never go downtown. Never ever!”

Every darn time!

I had a coworker come to my cubicle to talk to me about the email I had sent her. She said she was too busy to read such a long message. We spent ten minutes talking about it.

The average person reads 300 Words Per Minute but speaks about 150 WPM. My message was less than 900 words, and so it should have taken less than three minutes to read. Great time-saver, talking to me about it instead of reading it.

I am a teen working in a popular local restaurant. It is at the end of a thirteen-year-old’s birthday party. The mother has been a complete nightmare the whole time. Everything goes fine until I’m clearing dessert at the entitled little man’s table where he is surrounded by his twelve- to thirteen-year-old friends.

Boy: “You’ve been absolutely great today!”

Me: “Thank you so much!”

Boy: “In fact, you’ve been so great that my friends and I have gathered a tip for you!”

Me: “That’s terribly sweet of you but I’m sure that’s unnecessary.”

Boy: “But I insist!”

He slides a nickel across the table while I have ten dishes in my hands while his friend snicker.

Me: “F*** YOU!”

I storm away so angry I don’t know what to do. It’s only when I reach the kitchen that I realize what has just happened. I cursed… at a “child”… on his birthday. I immediately go to the owner.

Me: “I need you to hear this from me before you hear it from his mother.”

I tell him the story, expecting to be fired on the spot. The owner is silent for a good ten seconds and then looks me in the eye.

Owner: “Good for you. Don’t you ever take s*** from anyone.”

Me: “You’ll probably be hearing from the boy’s mother.”

Owner: “Don’t worry. I’ll explain to her that I trust and care for my staff and she has a little s*** for a son.”

There was never a complaint, as I think the kid was too afraid or shocked to say what happened.

Not everything is terrible in the service industry if you have a boss that believes in you and backs you up. I was in the kitchen one day and almost backed into him, and he yelled at me, “Hey! Don’t look where you’ve been! Look where you’re going!” Best advice ever.

I used to work at a hole-in-the-wall retail computer repair shop in a not-so-good part of town. I’d frequently get customers who had outlandish requests and even more outlandish complaints.

I made sure to post printouts with info about all of our services on the wall next to the register in an attempt to ward off complaints and questions. This included prices, payment types accepted, etc.

Me: “Your total is $84.02.”

Customer: “What?! You said it would be $79!”

Me: “Yes, $79 with sales tax, which is $84.02.”

Customer: “Where does it say that there’s tax?!”

I indicated the prominent “plus tax” on the invoice.

Me: “It’s printed right here on the paper.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know that there’s sales tax?!”

I pointed to the poster next to the register.

Me: “State sales tax info, right here. The number on the bottom is for the Connecticut General Assembly if you would like to complain.”

The customer could only grumble for the rest of the transaction. He didn’t expect me to have that info on-hand and displayed prominently!