75 And Very Alive

, , , , | | Right | May 18, 2018

(I am ringing up a customer in his 50s. Because it’s a small store, and it’s midday, I enjoy making small talk with our customers.)

Me: “Your total comes to $19.75, sir.” *without saying dollar*

Customer: “1975, great! That was also a great year.”

Me: “Really? Was that the year you were born?”

(As I am in my late 20s and the customer in his 50s, I know this is impossible, but I am being friendly.)

Customer: “Nope. Even better; it’s the year I lost my virginity!”

(Stunned, not knowing what to say, I handed him his receipt. He just smiled and walked out of the store with his bags.)

This Is The Self-Entitlement Aisle

, , , , | | Right | May 17, 2018

(I work the self-scan registers at my local grocery store. My job is to show customers how to use the machine, assist them if something is not working correctly, clean up the garbage customers leave on the registers, and keep an eye out for possible shoplifters. I am not supposed to scan a customer’s order for them, or bag their groceries. I’m in the process of cleaning up a bunch of half-eaten cookies someone left on the floor when this happens.)

Customer: “EXCUSE ME!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’ve been standing here over two minutes and you haven’t come to ring my order out!”

Me: “These are the self-scan registers, ma’am. The registers with cashiers are down a bit further.”

Customer: “I don’t want to wait in those lines; they’re too long!”

Me: “I can help you use the self-scan if you’d like, ma’am.”

Customer: “I know how to do it! You guys need to open more real registers!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re short-staffed today and one of the cashiers is on her lunch break. Please let me know if you need any help.”

Customer: “I’ll be fine.”

(I leave the woman to go back to cleaning up the cookies. The woman rings out her order, bags her groceries, and walks off. A few minutes later, she comes stomping back up to me, my manager behind her.)

Customer: “This is the one! She didn’t ring up my groceries or bag them! You need to fire her right now!”

Me: “I offered to help her.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’ve already explained to you that at the self-scans you do everything yourself. If you’d like a cashier to ring and bag your order, you need to go to the other registers.”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to ring out my own groceries!”

(She stomped out of the store. My manager sighed, shook his head, and walked off.)

Ew-Reader

, , , , | Right | May 16, 2018

I work at a computer repair shop. We also fix cracked phone, tablet, and even e-reader screens.

This woman comes in with a e-reader that has a cracked screen. I take it out of the case to get the model number off the back, and I notice it’s got some crusty, nasty food stuck on the corner. The whole corner is covered in who knows what. I am disgusted, but little do I know, this is about to go to a whole other level of disgusting.

As soon as I get the model number and set the e-reader down to type it in to our computer, the lady picks up the e-reader, says, “Oh, I must have spilled something or other on it,” and licks it off! She then hands me back the e-reader, covered in food and her spit.

I nearly throw up right there!

Unconventional At A Convention

, , , , , , | Hopeless | May 11, 2018

My friends and I are walking through the dealer’s room at a convention when one friend spies a booth selling blind boxes of character figures from his favorite video game. Blind boxes have a set of figures they could contain, but the buyer doesn’t know exactly which one they get when they purchase it. My friend is super excited, since the game is somewhat older and the blind box figures are no longer being made, making them semi-rare. He only has enough money to buy two boxes, and he opens them as soon as he gets them. By chance, both blind boxes contain the same character figurine.

Before we can walk away, the owner of the booth stops us. He holds out an unopened blind box and offers to exchange one of my friend’s figures for it, giving him the chance to get something different. My friend takes him up on the offer, and the rest of us are so impressed by the owner’s actions that each of us finds something to buy from his booth.  

It’s a convention tradition now to seek out that booth and buy something from it. Everybody won that day: my friend got a figurines of his two favorite characters, we found a great place to get our convention snacks, and the family that owns the booth gained a group of loyal customers!

Engaging In A Strange Fight

, , , , , , | Working | May 11, 2018

(I work at a corporate office as a security guard. This particular morning I am at the gatehouse on the inbound lane, checking in visitors and deliveries. One woman comes up and I check her in with no problem. Then, I hand her a visitor badge and give her directions to visitor parking.)

Me: “Follow the sidewalk around the sculpture and cross the entryway, and the main doors will be in front of you. There are receptionists at the desk that will be able to further help you with directions.”

Woman: “Thank you so much! I should stop by security and tell your boss what a good job you’re doing!”

Me: “You are more than welcome to do that, and it is very appreciated! Thank you, ma’am, and you have a wonderful day!”

(I open the gate for her. As the woman starts to drive through, she hits her brakes and points at my left hand.)

Woman: “Aren’t you a little old for a promise ring?”

(I look down at my ring, which is a sapphire with tiny diamonds on each side.)

Me: “It’s an engagement ring, ma’am.”

(The woman, who was so nice before, turns nasty. The gate also closes in front of her car.)

Woman: “No, it’s not. Engagement rings are diamonds. Diamonds!

Me: *staying polite* “Ma’am, it can actually be whatever I’d like. I honestly don’t like diamonds. If—”

Woman: “Don’t you get that tone with me! All women like diamonds! You’re just pretending to fit in or something!”

(I see a pile of badges next to my computer that my coworker has made for the cars behind the nasty woman.)

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize if my ring offends you, but if there isn’t anything else I can do for you, I have to ask you to move along so that we can get the visitors behind you to their appointments.”

Woman: “F*** them. You kids and pretending to have what you don’t. Let’s pretend you are getting married. When are you going to the dentist to get those buck teeth fixed? Can’t get married with an overbite!”

(At this point my coworker came out and took over dealing with the woman because I was now visibly upset. When he asked her to leave, she rammed the gate, knocking the arm off of the mechanism, and sped up the hill. He got her plate, and I gave him her name and the name of her contact. My site supervisor found her car and reported the woman to HER supervisor. I found out the next day that the nasty woman had to pay for the damages to the gate arm, and had a harassment complaint on her record for what she’d said to me at the gate!)


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