That’s… Not How Deposits Work

, , , , | Right | September 18, 2020

I am an optician. We have a patient come into the office stating he has lost his glasses. He says he would like to order the exact same pair. I search his information in our computer system, give him the total price, and ask for a deposit of half as per office policy.

The patient gives a deposit of half and I tell him we should be calling him later in the week after his eyeglasses are ready for pickup. Later that week, his eyeglasses are ready to go, a phone call is placed to the number on file, and a voicemail is left.

A few days later, the patient calls to inform us, “I have found my glasses and would like my deposit back.” I explain to him that the eyeglasses were completed and we cannot return his deposit. The best we can do is keep the deposit to cover our costs and time and remove the rest of the balance from his account if he doesn’t want to spend the rest of the money to complete the purchase. I explain that had he called me within twenty-four hours of placing the order, we could have given the deposit back. 

We go back and forth a bit; I throw in that this is what deposits are for, etc. He finally concedes and eventually picks up his glasses a few weeks later.

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How Do You Deliver That Information?

, , , , , | Right | September 12, 2020

A woman in a severe business suit sweeps in to pick up a fairly large custom order early one morning.

Customer: “I’m here to pick up the order for [Company].” 

Me: “Oh, yes, good morning! I have it right here.”

I open one of the boxes to show her the intricate decorations. She glances briefly at the box and blows out an exasperated sigh.

Customer: “Ugh, next time, we’ll just have you deliver them. I can’t believe I had to come all the way out here.” 

Me: “Well, we aren’t actually able to offer delivery. We’re only a small company, and it’s pretty much just me running things.”

Customer: “Yeah. It’s way too far for me to come, but my client will probably—” *rolls eyes* “—want to use these, anyway. So, how does delivery work?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t deliver; I’m here alone twelve hours a day.” 

Customer: *Glaring* “I’m asking how it works.” 

Me: *Helplessly* “It… doesn’t?” 

Customer: *Pursing her lips condescendingly* “Well, what courier service do you use?” 

Me: “We… don’t? If you require shipping, we use the USPS and ship first-rate Priority. I can’t really tell you how much it would cost off the cuff, however, bec—”

Customer: “I’m not asking how much it costs.”

She huffs impatiently and rolls her eyes.

Customer: “Whatever. Just ring me out so I can drive all the way back now.” 

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Your total is [total].” 

Customer: “That’s not what the girl on the phone said. She said it would be [significantly lower total].”

Note that “the girl on the phone” was me, and I know precisely what I quoted her. At this point, however, she is so hostile and acerbic that I just want to get her out of the shop.

Me: “Sorry for the confusion, ma’am. That will be [lower total], then.” 

Customer: *Sarcastically* “I need a receipt.”

She took the receipt and swept out of the shop again without another word.

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Hypocrisy, Thy Name Is Dad

, , , , , | Related | September 10, 2020

My father retired from his job several years ago but still does odd jobs on the side for friends and friends-of-friends. Every couple of weeks or so, he cleans the parking lot at a deli in the next town over. One summer, he’s been having some shoulder pain and asks me to come along and help him to lighten the load. As we are driving, he tosses an empty cigarette pack out the window.

Me: “Dad, you shouldn’t litter.”

Dad: “Don’t worry about it. I’m keepin’ the guys who clean up the streets in business, right?”

After we’ve arrived and started cleaning the parking lot, he grumbles about there being more trash than usual and how the people are too lazy to throw their stuff away in the nearby garbage can.

Me: “Well, they’re keeping you in business, right?”

He just rolled his eyes at me. Unfortunately, he’s still something of a litterbug and refuses to see the flaw in his logic. Sorry, Mother Nature!

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Unfiltered Story #207931

, , | Unfiltered | September 10, 2020

(At the pharmacy I work at, we sell cold medicines that contain pseudophedrine (PSE) behind the counter. The reason is because the PSE in the medicine can be used to make meth, and we have a special statewide system in place, just for the sale of PSE cold medicine. This involves scanning a license, entering work ID number, and having the customer sign a statement they will not use it to make meth. A woman approaches the counter while I’m ringing, with groceries. We also do regular store items at the pharmacy registers.)
Woman: **points to a box of cold medicine off to the side** That one’s mine, I’m ready to check out now (occasionally, a pharmacist or store associate will put a restricted item aside until they’re ready to check out, this itself isn’t so weird.)
me: sure, do you have your ID on you?
Woman: Yes, here it is **hands me her ID**
(I scan the medicine, and her ID, and I get a system down error. This occasionally happens, and we’re not allowed to sell it until the systems back up)
Me: I’m sorry, our system’s acting up today. I’ll try it again in a few minutes.
(I scan her groceries, and try the cold medicine again. I get a little further in the process, but it still comes up system down.)
Me: Sorry, it’s still acting weird, do you have a [rewards member card] while we’re here? (I scan the card, the cold medicine, and it finally appears to be going through)
Me: Alright ma’am, it went through, you can pay with your card now. (As soon as I hit the buttons to run her debit card, the final check for authorization, it says system error and refuses the sale.)
Me: I’m sorry ma’am, but our system is still down, I’m afraid I can’t sell it to you right now. (the woman, who has been fairly patient up to this point, suddenly gets very irritable).
Woman: What do you mean you can’t sell it?
me: The system we use to sell cold medicine is down right now, we can try again later.
Woman: I’m sick right now, I need this medicine, my doctor said I could get this medication in place of a script, what am I supposed to do now?! (note: even if the doctor did write a prescription for her, we would still be doing the same process, as most insurance companies don’t cover over-the-counter supplies, and writing a script would be useless.)
Me: I understand ma’am, but our system is still down. you could come back in say an hour, and we might be back up by then.
**The woman rolls her eyes and scowls as I suggest waiting**
Woman: Can’t you get the pharmacist to do something about it?
Me: It’s a system error, they don’t have the power to override something like this.
Woman: cant they ring me up out front? (This is illegal, by the way, and I could lose my job by ringing it out upfront)
Me: No, they don’t have the system required to sell this.
woman: Can’t you do ANYTHING to override it? Maybe sell it outside the system? (What she’s suggesting is even more illegal, and is considered a felony in some states)
Me: I’m sorry, but there really isn’t anything I can do besides trying again later.
Woman: I can’t try again later, this has been a waste of my time! Cancel everything else, except the milk.
(As I’m removing the other groceries from her sale, she keeps going on about how I wasted her time. It took longer to void out her items than it did for me to explain that our system wasn’t working. I finally finish removing the items from her order, and ring her out for the milk.)
Me: *handing her the receipt* thank you have a- *she snatches the receipt out of my hand and walks away*

He Is Not Aligned With Reality

, , , | Right | September 8, 2020

A man comes in with several sheaves of paper, each seeming to be some kind of manual. He wants us to cut off a section at the bottom of each sheet, BETWEEN two lines of six-point text, and then bind each one.

Me: “Sir, I have to tell you that I can’t be sure that these will cut right.”

Customer: “What? Why not?”

Me: “You see, sir, the two lines of text you want us to cut between are very close together; the top page might look right, but other pages might have text cut off. And these pages are double-sided, which makes the likelihood of error even greater.”

Customer: “Why would that happen? The text is in the same place on every sheet!”

Me: “Sir, it may look that way to the naked eye, but no printer is that accurate.”

Customer: “I don’t understand; they’re perfectly aligned!”

Me: “Again, they may look aligned, but the cut that you want us to do has a margin of error of hundredths of an inch. If the printing is off by only a little bit — and it will be — the difference will be noticeable.”

Customer: “Well, then, just do one and I’ll see how it comes out!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this job is going to take time, and we have other jobs ahead of you. If you want to leave it with us we can call you when it’s finished, but again, I can’t guarantee the quality.”

Customer: “I don’t want to leave it here! Why should I have to leave it here?”

Me: “We do our jobs in the order that they are received, sir.”

Customer: “Can’t you just call me when you’re done?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Yeah, just give me a call when you’re done with these jobs and then I’ll bring mine back!”

Me: “Sir, not only can I not guarantee when that will be, but we get in jobs all day; we can’t just save you a spot.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

By the way, what he wanted cut off of the documents was the copyright holder’s name, but not the notation that it was copywritten. The name was female.

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