Back when I worked in the parts department at a GM dealership, we had a regular customer we all nicknamed “Sweater Guy.” He always wore the same heavy knit sweater, no matter the season. Ninety degrees in July? Sweater. Blizzard? Same sweater.

One day, Sweater Guy comes up to the counter looking determined.

Sweater Guy: “I need spark plug wires. And I want the freshest ones you have.”

Me: “Freshest? Sir, spark plug wires don’t really expire. They’re all new.”

Sweater Guy: “No, I want the newest ones off the shelf. None of that old stock.”

Me: “They’re all identical, I promise. To make sure we get you the right set, I just need the eighth digit of your VIN number.”

Sweater Guy: “Why?”

Me: “Different engines use different wires. The eighth digit tells us exactly which ones fit your car.”

Sweater Guy: “Nice try. You just want to steal my identity.”

Me: “…Sir, all I want is to sell you spark plug wires, not open a credit card in your name.”

This back-and-forth continues for nearly twenty minutes. We explain over and over that there’s no such thing as a “born-on date” for spark plug wires, and that without the VIN digit, we can’t guarantee he gets the correct part. He refuses to give it to us, accusing us of trying to “run some scam.”

Sweater Guy: “You know what? I want to talk to the owner. This is discrimination. You’re refusing to sell me parts!”

The owner comes out, listens to the whole story from both sides, nods slowly, and without a word goes back to his office. He comes out holding a single piece of paper.

Owner: “Sir, could you do me a favor and read this for me?”

Sweater Guy reads it silently, scowls, and looks up.

Sweater Guy: “What is this?”

Owner: “That’s a letter stating you are no longer welcome on this property. If you come back, the police will be called, and you will be arrested for trespassing. Please sign at the bottom so we’re clear.”

Sweater Guy: “…So you’re not selling me the wires?”

Owner: “Correct. And you’re not buying anything here again.”

He storms out in his sweater, muttering about conspiracies. We never saw him again. Good grief.

Related:
Conspiracy Weary, Part 7
Conspiracy Weary, Part 6
Conspiracy Weary, Part 5
Conspiracy Weary, Part 4
Conspiracy Weary, Part 3

I worked at a car dealership in the accounting department. Our office had five people: the office manager, the tag and title clerk, the accounts payable (AP) lady, the accounts receivable (AR) guy, and me, who did a bit of everything else. We all got along great, worked hard, and even upper management commented on how efficient our office was. There was supposed to be a sixth person — the controller, who was above the office manager. A couple of months after I started, the controller who hired me left, and for months, we went without one. Then came [Controller #1], who lasted a month before leaving for another dealership. Months later, they hired [Controller #2]. And that’s when everything fell apart.

[Controller #2] was a nightmare. Within weeks, HR left, and she replaced him with someone she knew. She told the old HR guy not to come in, then messed up the payroll so badly that two whole stores of employees didn’t get their direct deposits. Everyone had to be issued paper checks that couldn’t be fully deposited for days. She brushed it off as “training issues.” It was a warning sign none of us recognized yet.

The tag and title clerk already knew [Controller #2] from a previous job (they did not get along), but agreed to put the past behind them. After a month of [Controller #2], the tag and title clerk quit and went to work for [Controller #1]. As soon as she was gone, [Controller #2]’s true colors came out.

She started making constant changes without telling anyone and expected everyone to just “deal with it.” She intercepted everyone’s mail, including mine, so titles and Certificates of Origin stopped coming to me. I couldn’t find any paperwork, couldn’t complete deals, and when I finally found the missing title binders, they were hidden in her office, half empty. She refused to return them, even though controllers don’t do tag and title work.

She destroyed our systems for logging missing titles and payoffs. My simple, clear log was replaced by three confusing ones with less information. She did the same with problem-deal tracking and even told me I was no longer allowed to write notes on folders. Then she started going through my desk drawers and taking paperwork. Even my payoff logbook, which lived locked in my desk, was moved to her office, meaning I couldn’t do my job unless she was there to unlock her door. There was no security reason for this; she just wanted control.

She brought in a new tag and title clerk, who quit after four days, claiming “everything was a mess,” which was a lie; our previous clerk had been completely caught up. Months went by without a replacement, leaving our office manager to do the title work slowly while [Controller #2] created an absurd new filing system with eight piles that no one understood.

By November, I couldn’t take it anymore. I called the tag and title clerk and asked if her offer still stood. She confirmed I could come work with her and [Controller #1]. That Friday, I put in my notice. [Controller #2] asked if I was leaving to join the tag and title clerk, and though I tried to deny it, she saw through me. After I left for the day, she anonymously called [Controller #1] and screamed at her, accusing her of “stealing” the entire office. [Controller #1] hadn’t even spoken to me yet, so she was able to truthfully say she hadn’t poached anyone. But [Controller #2] ranted about losing the tag and title clerk, me, and even the office manager (who, at that point, hadn’t said a word about leaving).

In my last two weeks, I was told to train the AR guy on all of my job duties in addition to his own work. Three days before I left, [Controller #2] brought in a new girl from her old dealership to train with me, but she arrived fifteen minutes before my shift ended, so she barely learned anything. [Controller #2] didn’t mind “stealing” someone from her previous workplace, but she sure minded when people left her.

I left at the end of November. My stress level dropped instantly at my new job. Within weeks, the AR guy also left to join [Controller #1], then the AP lady, who had been at that dealership for almost fifteen years, followed. The office manager eventually left for another location. In five months, [Controller #2] lost the entire office team. And she still works there.

We are all so much happier now that we don’t work under her anymore. I probably would have stayed there for another year or two, but [Controller #2] pushed my timeline way up. All because of one toxic person.

A guy shows up asking to test drive a compact SUV. I copy his license, go through the usual disclaimers, and ride along, as policy requires.

We barely get out of the lot when he says:

Customer: “Hey, mind if I swing through Starbucks real quick?”

Me: “No food or drinks in the test vehicles, sorry.”

Customer: “It’s not for me. It’s for my girlfriend. I’m dropping it at her work.”

Me: “You can do that after the test drive.”

Customer: “But then I’m wasting gas going all the way across town.”

Me: “You’re using a test drive… to make a delivery?”

He grins, like he’s clever.

Customer: “Hey, you said no food or drink in the car, but I’m just holding it.”

I text my manager while he orders. By the time we pull into the Starbucks lot, the sales manager has already texted me:

Sales Manager: “Bring him back. Now.”

I turn to him.

Me: “Just so we’re clear, the only thing getting delivered today is you… back to the lot.”

He tried to protest, but I told him that if he didn’t drive back right that moment, I would be stepping out of the vehicle and calling the police to report the car as stolen.

He drove back.

Our dealership discounts the cars up front.

Customer: “What’s the best price?”

Me: “We’re very fortunate to be able to tell you that up front, unlike most car dealers.”

Customer: “Yeah, and what’s the best price?”

Me: “It’s posted right here on the windshield.”

Customer: “I don’t pay full retail for anything. I want a deal.”

Me: “And you’re getting one. Full retail is actually $5,729 more expensive. I’ve saved you that much money without you having to haggle.”

Customer: “I want to haggle. I always get the best deal haggling.”

Me: “Fine by me.” *I rip off the best-price sticker and say in a joking manner.* “Now we’ll start at full retail. I’ll give you $500 off right now if you take this car today!”

Customer: “Sold! Let’s go write it up.”

Me: “But I… but you’re paying $5,200 more than I’m… ugh…”

We’re not allowed to overcharge at a one-price store, so I handed it over to the finance manager who just sold him “every warranty ever” until the numbers were the same. 

Related:
Can They Haggle? No Or No?, Part 9
Can They Haggle? No Or No?, Part 8
Can They Haggle? No Or No?, Part 7
Can They Haggle? No Or No?, Part 6
Can They Haggle? No Or No?, Part 5

I work in a fixed-price car yard. There is signage everywhere stating that it is a FIXED price car yard, it’s on our website and we even state it to customers on the initial conversation. My manager has been here forever and is helping a couple looking for a car.

Manager: “Based on your requirements I think this is your best bet.”

Customer: “Hmm… is this your best price?”

Manager: “As I said, this is a fixed-price car yard. All the cars are already reduced and the price as displayed is fixed.”

Customer: “So you can’t give me a deal?”

Manager: “Prices are fixed.”

Customer: “Do you negotiate?”

Manager: *Snapping.* “Fixed means fixed! Stationary. Stagnant! Like the neurons in your brain! Fixed!”

Customer: “Jesus! No need to be such a d*** about it! Learn the meaning of basic customer service!”

Manager: “Learn the meaning of basic words!”

He did not make a sale that day.