I was working in a car dealership. I’m a mechanic but I was filling in for the manager who was on some serious medical leave. I’m answering phones and making appointments.

I get a call from a horribly rude woman. She asked me a couple of questions as if I knew who she was and was very irate when I asked for information so I could pull her file.

Finally, she asks me:

Caller: “Is my sister there?!”

Of course I, have no idea, so I ask:

Me: “Who is your sister? I can probably find her.”

Caller: *Huffy and loud.* “WELL SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME!”

I’m just sitting there at my desk staring at my phone wondering if this woman is for real.

After trying to explain to her that I can’t see what she looks like and that I have no way of knowing if her twin sister was here, she hung up on me.

Later on, this customer paid for us to straighten her wheels, and what I mean is she wanted the symbols on her hubcaps to always be the same.

However, this is impossible as when you turn a corner, the rear wheels and outside wheels turn at different rates otherwise, the car would skid while turning. We explained it in simple terms using a Hot Wheels as an example.

She couldn’t understand, but she kept paying the money. 

Related:
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 27
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 26
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 25
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 24
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 23

Customer: “I want [car].”

Me: “Excellent, let’s go over here to discuss the—”

Customer: “—Nothing to discuss. I want [car] but I’m only paying [$1000 less than the asking price].”

Me: “Sir, the car is already going for a discount. If we go any lower the store would be making a loss.”

Customer: “Yeah, I knew you’d say that, but I thought ahead and you should just charge the next customer more to make up for the lost profit.”

Me: “That’s not how it works, sir. We can discuss multiple payment pl—”

Customer: “—yeah, not gonna happen. Get me your manager if you’re not gonna help me.”

I get my manager and explain the situation. He just rolls his eyes and approaches the customer:

Manager: “Sir, well done for figuring out the business model; you truly are very clever. The customer just before you figured it out too and we gave him a $1000 discount, so now you have to pay the difference. Would you like to pay it all upfront or would you like to discuss payment plans?”

The customer, as you’d expect, was not happy when he stormed out.

We have a new sales guy in the dealership who thinks he’s hot s***. He apparently made really good sales in a smaller store, so he’s been sent to the flagship store. Straight away, we can tell why his numbers were good: he lies.

He lies about car performance, about the cost of upgrades, nothing too outrageous but just enough to make the sale and not be immediately noticed by management. I bring this up with management, but they tell me that as long as the kid is making sales and customers aren’t complaining, they won’t do jack s***.

One time, I see the kid trying to sell an older guy an expensive four-wheel drive.

Kid: “This model is shown with the leather finish.”

Customer: “How much extra is that?”

Kid: “It’s [amount that’s 90% of actual price].”

Me: “Oh, hey, it’s actually [correct price]. He’s new… So sorry.”

The kid glares at me, but the customer nods, and they continue. A few minutes later, the kid is trying to show off the tires.

Customer: “I really only leave the city once or twice a year. Do I really need to spend extra on these off-road tires?”

Kid: “Oh, absolutely. When it rains, these babies will help keep you stable.”

Me: “Not necessarily. This model’s wide, large, and aggressive tread pattern does not put a lot of rubber on the pavement at any given time, so it’s not really giving you extra grip in the rain.”

Kid: *Glaring at me again* “They really are the best all-around tires, sir.”

Customer: “Those are eleven-dollar words coming out of your two-dollar mouth, kid. Lemme talk to this guy instead.”

I made an appropriate sale (smaller city car), and the kid made a complaint. Nothing came of it, though, as those inevitable complaints started coming in about the kid’s false claims, and he was gone within six months.

Ten years ago, I had driven my first car in twelve years or so. It kept stalling at intersections, especially if the AC is on. New battery, tune-ups, nothing any mechanic did helped.

It got so bad it stalled ten times in a thirty-minute drive in the summer with a friend in a fancy outfit, so I decided to finally trade it in. 

I get to the dealer and prepare to knock them dead with my expert negotiation technique:

Me: “I drove my fourteen-year-old Chevy here. It ran out of power halfway across your parking lot and I left it there. You’ll need to push it into the service bay. I have $3 to my name and mediocre credit. This means I have all the power! make me an offer!”

The salesman laughs and sells me a brand new Chevy Spark for $12,000, with slightly high interest.

Five months later I managed to refinance for basically zero interest and enjoy the car until someone crashed into it when I wasn’t in it, smashing it like a tin can.

I’ve moved on to a nicer car since but I will always remember “I have $3, a car that won’t start to trade in, and a six-hundred credit score. GIVE ME A BRAND NEW CAR” and it… working.

I work as the Service Manager at a local car dealer. Basically, I am over the entire service department, so most of my day is just dealing with complaints. But I had a new one yesterday — and that’s saying something.

A customer comes in for just an oil change. This particular customer has never serviced any vehicles with us before. As soon as he checks out, he walks out to his car, pops his hood, and “notices” that his engine cover is missing. (Why would you go out and just happen to pop the hood open if you didn’t already know it was missing?) And he proceeds to lose his ever-loving mind.

Of course, I get involved.

Customer: “I just checked my oil yesterday, and the cover was there, but now it’s not!”

I walk back to my technician’s work area to check and see if maybe he took it off and just forgot to put it back on, which can happen sometimes. In this case, there would be no reason to remove it because it’s not required to do an oil change, but I figure I should at least cover all my bases. I check around [Technician]’s work area, his toolbox, etc., and there is, of course, no cover. I ask him if he noticed it.

Technician: “There was no cover on it when I opened the hood.”

I go back to talk to the customer.

Me: “I checked my technician’s work area, and I spoke with him, as well. It was not on the engine when he opened the hood.”

He continues to lose his mind and accuse my technician of stealing the cover. I looked him dead in the eye.

Me: “Sir, I’m pretty positive he didn’t take your engine cover to put on his entirely different make and model of vehicle.”

Customer: “You should buy me a new cover!”

Me: “I’m not buying you a new cover.”

Customer: “I’d be okay with a used one.”

Another red flag: if you were convinced that we had stolen it, why would you be okay with a used one? To make him go away, I tell him that if I come across a used one — if we have a similar vehicle traded in — for example, I’ll see if I can snag one.

Fast forward to this morning. I’m walking by the detail department, and there’s another vehicle of the exact same year, make, and model as the customer’s; it was traded in, and they are cleaning it up for the lot.

I pop the hood — no engine cover. Thinking there’s no way it’s a coincidence, I go to my parts department and ask them to price me out a new engine cover. I want the part number and price. The parts guy puts in the VIN.

Parts Guy: “What engine cover? That vehicle never came with one.”

So, this a**hole knew there was no cover — he probably bought it used, there wasn’t one there, and he assumed there was supposed to be — and brought it to us for a cheap oil change because he thought he could just freak out, we’d cave, and he’d get one for free.

Now, I get to call him Monday to let him know that one, he is not getting an engine cover because they don’t exist for that vehicle, and two, we will not EVER service any vehicle for him at any point in the future. He is fired as a customer.