You Co-Sign Like A Girl, Part 2

| Orange County, CA, USA | Working | July 30, 2017

(I am shopping for a new car with my mom. Note that at the time I am younger, and the car is for my mom. The car she wants is only available at one dealership. As we walk in and ask to see the car the following exchange happens.)

Worker: “Well, you see, the car is inside of the building so for you to test drive it I would have to move everything out of the way, and it’s starting to rain.”

(Note the fact that it is barely drizzling and not expected to rain.)

Mom: “We want to test drive it, so please bring it out.”

Worker: “Okay, okay. If I did take the car out for you, would you be able to afford the down payment?”

(My mom and I are shocked. It takes us a few moments to respond.)

Mom: “Really? I came here driving a newer car made by [More Expensive Car Company].”

(The worker tells us to sit down for a while and leaves. After probably 15 minutes he comes back.)

Worker: “Okay, so, I just wanted to go over the numbers for you. Also, we are going to need to do a credit check to make sure you credit is good.”

Mom: “Can we please drive the car first? I don’t want to go over the numbers until I know that I want this car.”

Worker: “Fine.”

(We go over to the car and see that now there is a handwritten $5000.00 “markup” on the sign.)

Mom: *to me* “Why does it have a markup?”

Me: “I’m not sure but I think we should leave.”

Mom: *to Worker* “I think we are just going to go, thanks.”

Worker: *in happy tone* “Why don’t you just call your husband to buy the car for you and then you can drive off with it today?”

(We never went back.)

Unfiltered Story #90900

, , , | Unfiltered | July 14, 2017

(Most of my coworkers switched to a rotating schedule a few months ago: they work only two or three day blocks before having two or three days off. I work a traditional Monday-Friday work week, but this week I am working Monday-Saturday to cover for another coworker so I’m putting in 60+ hours and not exactly looking forward to it. It’s Thursday and I’m taking a short break and talking to my ‘work wife’, one of the mechanics in the shop.)

Him: This schedule’s pretty great. Yesterday was my Monday and today is my Friday.

Me: I hate you.

Him: No, you know you love me!

Me: I DO love you! But I also hate you a little bit because it’s your TuesdayFriday but it’s my second Wednesday.

Him: *laughs* Aww, that’s awful. I’ll probably come pick up some extra hours on my day off though.

Me: You could come see me Saturday..

Him: Ha, Saturday? Yeah, I love you too but I don’t love you THAT much.

(He came in Friday so he could keep his weekend intact. I didn’t hold it against him.)

Unfiltered Story #90897

, , , | Unfiltered | July 14, 2017

(A few coworkers and I are taking a cigarette break. I notice one grimacing while he tries to stretch.)

Me: You okay? Too many tires?

Coworker: Nah, I broke my ribs a bunch of times when I was younger and they kind of.. Pop out sometimes.

Coworker #2: Ew, sounds fun.

Coworker: Yeah, all my misadventures catch up to me. Last night I was lying on my stomach watching TV and my girlfriend had her feet up on my back and it started spasming and she was like *jumps back* ‘WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?’ I said, ‘..My back?’ And she goes, ‘IT’S MOVING!’

Me: Just tell her it’s like one of those massager things.

Coworker: Yeah, except instead of feeling good it just.. Hurts?

Coworker #3: *laughs*

Coworker: Yeah. Let that be a lesson to all of you. Don’t hurt yourself, because.. It hurts.

(We all laugh)

Me: That was very profound.

Coworker #3: Seriously. I’m glad I didn’t miss it.

Feel Three To Choose

, , , , | Working | June 28, 2017

(I’m checking in an early customer who is dropping off his car to perform recall repairs. It is worth mentioning that I am not at my sharpest in the mornings.)

Me: “Is there a particular time that’s best for you to be able to come back that we should aim for?”

Customer: “Not in particular. What time do you close?”

Me: “Our service department is here until 6 pm. If it’s easier to pick up later, Sales is in until around 8:45 pm; we could also leave your keys and paperwork with them if that works better.”

Customer: “Oh, really? That’s good to know!”

Me: “Yep! We have MILLIONS of options! Well… okay, two. Before Service closes and after Service closes. Two options.”

Customer: *laughs*

Me: “Wait! Tomorrow! You can also pick up your car tomorrow if you want! THREE options!”

Unfiltered Story #89828

, , , | Unfiltered | June 15, 2017

(My ‘work wife’ and I are taking a break together. He just gotten a new car as of a couple weeks ago due to a bearing failure in his truck, which was older than him. He’s a mechanic and while my background is hands-on and I still keep my technician certifications current, I’m now generally tied to a desk working as an advisor/service writer. We’re each other’s favorite coworkers in our respective positions due to how well our work styles mesh together. We’re both believers in communication and big on planning ahead to make things run as efficiently as possible; when we work together things go shockingly smooth for both of us, which has only served to strengthen our friendship. While walking around, we notice that in a line of new sales cars a few have the same small plastic cap missing from their rear wiper arms. He posits that the salespeople keep stealing ones off stock units to swap to cars they’re selling and eventually they’ll run out and panic and blame the parts department for not having any when they should have just ordered them in the first place – a behavior we’ve seen from them before.)

Him: The sales guys are so, so different from us. They have no foresight – it’s all about chasing that one sale in the moment. They don’t even see that they’re just making more trouble for themselves down the line.

Me: Seriously. In their defense though, I could never do their job. I couldn’t sell cars. I just don’t have it in me.

Him: Me: either. Well I mean I used to fix and flip them, but that’s not the same at all.

Me: A dealership sales situation is totally different. I mean, I can’t even justify buying myself a new car with how fast they depreciate the moment you drive them off the lot, let alone talk someone else into it.

Him: Sometimes you just REALLY want something though.

Me: That’s true! And your situation was more complicated – it was rebuilding your engine or getting another car, and you have to be able to get to work or you can’t do either. If you’re going to get something new, it might as well be something you want. And when I say I wouldn’t buy a new car I don’t mean never ever – I mean, if I felt like I was made of money.. But we know I’m not. I’d rather buy someone’s two-year-old lease return for 30%-40% less than new two years later.

Him: I get that too. The car I wanted was just too new for me to do that.

Me: Mhmm. I mean when I say I always pay cash for my cars.. You have to remember I got my car for three grand and our last truck was $1100, but it wasn’t even running and we know I’m cheap. But yeah, I don’t think I could really sell someone else a new car, especially if they’re financing their life away.
Him: That’s why it’s good to have gap insurance: just in case.

(Gap insurance is an add-on plan: if your vehicle is stolen/totaled/etc and the insurance payout based on the market price for your vehicle is less than the balance owed on your loan or lease, gap insurance will cover the difference so you don’t get stuck still making payments on a car you don’t even have.)

Him: OH SH*T I NEED TO MAKE SURE I HAVE GAP INSURANCE.

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