Feel Three To Choose

, , , , | Working | June 28, 2017

(I’m checking in an early customer who is dropping off his car to perform recall repairs. It is worth mentioning that I am not at my sharpest in the mornings.)

Me: “Is there a particular time that’s best for you to be able to come back that we should aim for?”

Customer: “Not in particular. What time do you close?”

Me: “Our service department is here until 6 pm. If it’s easier to pick up later, Sales is in until around 8:45 pm; we could also leave your keys and paperwork with them if that works better.”

Customer: “Oh, really? That’s good to know!”

Me: “Yep! We have MILLIONS of options! Well… okay, two. Before Service closes and after Service closes. Two options.”

Customer: *laughs*

Me: “Wait! Tomorrow! You can also pick up your car tomorrow if you want! THREE options!”

Unfiltered Story #89828

, , , | Unfiltered | June 15, 2017

(My ‘work wife’ and I are taking a break together. He just gotten a new car as of a couple weeks ago due to a bearing failure in his truck, which was older than him. He’s a mechanic and while my background is hands-on and I still keep my technician certifications current, I’m now generally tied to a desk working as an advisor/service writer. We’re each other’s favorite coworkers in our respective positions due to how well our work styles mesh together. We’re both believers in communication and big on planning ahead to make things run as efficiently as possible; when we work together things go shockingly smooth for both of us, which has only served to strengthen our friendship. While walking around, we notice that in a line of new sales cars a few have the same small plastic cap missing from their rear wiper arms. He posits that the salespeople keep stealing ones off stock units to swap to cars they’re selling and eventually they’ll run out and panic and blame the parts department for not having any when they should have just ordered them in the first place – a behavior we’ve seen from them before.)

Him: The sales guys are so, so different from us. They have no foresight – it’s all about chasing that one sale in the moment. They don’t even see that they’re just making more trouble for themselves down the line.

Me: Seriously. In their defense though, I could never do their job. I couldn’t sell cars. I just don’t have it in me.

Him: Me: either. Well I mean I used to fix and flip them, but that’s not the same at all.

Me: A dealership sales situation is totally different. I mean, I can’t even justify buying myself a new car with how fast they depreciate the moment you drive them off the lot, let alone talk someone else into it.

Him: Sometimes you just REALLY want something though.

Me: That’s true! And your situation was more complicated – it was rebuilding your engine or getting another car, and you have to be able to get to work or you can’t do either. If you’re going to get something new, it might as well be something you want. And when I say I wouldn’t buy a new car I don’t mean never ever – I mean, if I felt like I was made of money.. But we know I’m not. I’d rather buy someone’s two-year-old lease return for 30%-40% less than new two years later.

Him: I get that too. The car I wanted was just too new for me to do that.

Me: Mhmm. I mean when I say I always pay cash for my cars.. You have to remember I got my car for three grand and our last truck was $1100, but it wasn’t even running and we know I’m cheap. But yeah, I don’t think I could really sell someone else a new car, especially if they’re financing their life away.
Him: That’s why it’s good to have gap insurance: just in case.

(Gap insurance is an add-on plan: if your vehicle is stolen/totaled/etc and the insurance payout based on the market price for your vehicle is less than the balance owed on your loan or lease, gap insurance will cover the difference so you don’t get stuck still making payments on a car you don’t even have.)

Him: OH SH*T I NEED TO MAKE SURE I HAVE GAP INSURANCE.

Wiener Whiner

| San Jose, CA, USA | Working | June 2, 2017

(The way our computer system works, it’s easiest to look up customers and RO’s by last name, so if someone calls into the main service phone number looking for someone specific, whoever answered the phone will generally find out their last name and say some variation of “Employee, Customer’s Last Name on line Number. Sometimes it leads to confusion — the person who’s calling may have a different last name than the one on the account, or they may have been in months ago so they don’t immediately come to mind, or there may be more than one customer with the same last name, so we may have to ask for some clarification. One of the receptionists answers the phone, and talks to the customer, then puts the line on hold.)

Receptionist: “[Coworker #1], Baloney on Line 1.”

Me: *unable to resist* “Does it have a first name?”

(It took Coworker #1 quite a while to stop laughing before she could pick up the phone. And then, about twenty minutes later:)

Receptionist: “D*** you! Now that stupid Oscar Meyer song is stuck in my head!”

The New Honda Epiphany

| MD, USA | Right | May 26, 2017

(I work as a car saleswoman at Honda. I am helping an elderly woman into the showroom and ask what vehicle she was interested in seeing/driving.)

Customer: “I want to see the Mini Pilot.”

Me: *a bit confused* “Did you mean the 2015 Pilot?” *walks over to 2016 pilot in the showroom* “The new Pilot’s body style did change for 2016 and is a bit bigger now.”

Customer: *slightly aggravated now* “No, I want to see the Mini Pilot.”

Me: “Oh!” *walking over to the CR-V in our showroom* “Let me go ahead and show you our CR-V. It’s still an SUV and the body type is similar to a pilot but much, much smaller.”

Customer: *furious now* “NO, I WANT TO SEE THE MINI PILOT AND YOU’RE CLEARLY STUPID! But i will test drive this one if it makes you get away from me.”

Me: “Oookay, let me go get the key. So I can save you time, can I also get your driver’s license so I can make a copy?”

(Company policy is that a customer is not to drive a car without a valid U.S driver’s license.)

Customer: “H*** no! You’re just going to take it and run my credit! It’s because of sales people like you that everyone’s credit is so low!”

Me: “Ma’am? Does your license have your social security number on it?”

Customer: “Of course not. Why would you even ask that?!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, that’s the only way we’d be able to run your credit is if we had your social. Making this copy is just so I can show my managers who I am out taking a test drive with.”

(After her finally agreeing to let me make a copy, we are out on a test drive and by test drive she drove the car in perfect circles in our front parking lot for ten minutes, almost hitting a few other customers in the process. After the “test drive” I am walking her back inside. She stops in the middle of the doorway, drops the key, closes her eyes, put her fingers to her temples on each side and stays like this for about one minute and 30 seconds. At this point I and roughly 30 other people in the showroom are just staring at her… waiting. I don’t know how long this is going to go on for, so I lightly tap her elbow.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you all right?”

Customer: *opens her eyes looks around to see everyone staring at us screams loudly* “AHHH! I’M HAVING AN EPIPHANY! I MUST LEAVE NOW!”

(She stormed out and after the door shut behind her the whole showroom just erupted in laughter. Luckily my manager witnessed the whole process and let me go home early for that one!)

Blinded By Their Prejudice

| IL, USA | Working | May 25, 2017

(My beloved car that my husband and I share is dying, and my parents are looking to upgrade. We all go car shopping together. My father is with us, and is a rather obviously blind man with a guide dog.)

Salesman #1: “So, what can I do for you folks?”

Mom: “Well, we were thinking of getting a Mercedes SUV. And my daughter is looking to replace her car with something affordable. So you can either show them a car they like in their price range, or convince me and my husband to buy the new SUV and sell my daughter our old car.”

Salesman #1: *laughs* “Let me get someone who specializes in what you need.”

(Ten minutes pass.)

Salesman #2: “So, I hear you two kids are looking for an economy car?”

Mom: “Or, you could sell me a brand new Mercedes…”

(Salesman #2 looks at her strangely, then proceeds to show me and my husband the cheapest used car on the lot. After we say a few times that we were looking for something a little nicer, the salesman wanders off, never to return. As the four of us leave, we happen to pass the salesman who first helped us, sitting in his office.)

Salesman #1: “Did you folks find what you wanted?”

Mom: “Well, no… You guys never showed us the high-end SUV we were looking for.”

Me: “And I was only shown the one cheapest car on the lot. I was looking for something affordable, but…”

Salesman #1: “Look, we aren’t going to be able to do financing for anything more that that for folks in your situation.”

Me: “Our situation?”

Salesman #1: “If a bank isn’t going to approve a loan, we can’t show you—”

Me: “Why do you think a bank wouldn’t approve a loan?”

Mom: “You didn’t even ask us anything?”

Salesman #1: “Well, for folks on disability benefits…”

(My dad, who is not much of a talker, finally pipes up.)

Dad: “What, you think my daughter is disabled?”

(The salesman looked at him, confused. He continued to look confused as we left. I don’t think it ever occurred to him that blind people can have jobs — and so can their offspring!)

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