Google-Vex

, , | | Right | June 8, 2018

Me: “Okay, now bring up Google for me.”

Customer: “Okay… I’m on Google.”

Me: “All right, good, that means you are connected to the Internet.”

Customer: “Is there anyway we can verify that?”

Me: “Well, you just brought up Google.”

Customer: “How do I know this is the Google?”

Unfiltered Story #113856

, | | Unfiltered | June 8, 2018

Where I work, we take orders for contact lenses. Once an order is placed, the only way to change the address is to cancel the order and place a new one as the system does not allow modifications after the order is placed. This lady was pleasant up until I explained that we would need to do this.

Me: So, we can certainly do that and place a new order for you, to make sure it ships to the correct address.

Customer: I can’t believe that in the age of computers we can put a man on the *expletive* moon and you’re too stupid to change a 2 to a 5! *hangs up*

I just sat there for a moment in complete confusion.

Unfiltered Story #113857

| | Unfiltered | June 8, 2018

(I heard quite a few amusing/crazy things while working technical support, but my very favourite happened to a coworker)

Coworker: Thank you for calling [company], this is [coworker’s name], how may I help you?

Caller: I just called to tell you…I’m putting my computer on the grass.

Coworker: Ooookaaay….are you experiencing a technical problem with the computer?

Caller: I’ve had it. I’m putting it on the grass. *click*

Me: You should have given her your address and told her to send you the computer!

The Leave Reprieve

, , , , , | Working | June 7, 2018

(I typically work the closing shift of a major retailer. When the store closes for business, the graveyard shift comes in. Being that they are graveyard workers, they do not have uniforms, nor do I necessarily know them all too well.)

Me: “Hey, man, I’m going home now, so can you lock the door once I leave?”

Guy: “Uh, yeah, sure.”

(I leave through the side exit, and I watch him turn the latch. The following day, my manager has a word with me.)

Manager: “[My Name], when you leave for the night, you’re supposed to tell a staff member to lock the door behind you. You can’t just leave without telling anyone.”

Me: “That’s not what I did. I asked one of the graveyard shift guys to do that for me.”

Manager: “Yeah, about that…”

(Turns out that wasn’t a graveyard shift worker. I had actually asked a customer who happened to be in the store afterhours to lock the door for me!)

Fern Burn

, , , , | Right | June 7, 2018

(My friend and I are at a store that sells houseplants. We see a very delicate plant with several branches, and I ask about it.)

Me: “That one there; is it a tree or a fern?”

Worker: “It’s actually a tree fern.”

Me: *glaring at the fern* “Touché, plant.”

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