Nine Cats Times Nine Lives… Oh, Dear

, , , , | Friendly | May 28, 2021

My spouse and I rent out our basement suite to a tenant. When the tenant moves in, they have an adult female cat and two of her kittens. The tenant says they will be getting them all fixed and giving away the two kittens.

Since you have to get through two doors to get to the downstairs suite, I know the cats are never let outside. I also see all three cats the few times I go downstairs to fix something. And, sometimes, we hear some very, very loud meowing from the otherwise pretty insulated suite. Fast forward several months and the tenant texts me, informing me that her cat has, yet again, had kittens. 

Me: “Oh, how did that happen?”

Tenant: “No idea.”

No, the tenant did not get their now nearly-adult male cats fixed — or give them away — nor was the adult female fixed. Now we have nine cats downstairs. Irresponsible pet owners drive me crazy.

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The Onions Have Stalled

, , , , , | Right | May 28, 2021

Customer: “I’d like my hamburger with extra onions.”

She receives her hamburger with extra onions but returns a minute later.

Customer: “There aren’t enough extra onions on it. I really want a lot.”

I dispose of the hamburger, as we can’t return an item to the kitchen if it has been touched, and I ask the kitchen staff to put extra, extra onions on it. I then need to use the washroom, and as I am not on break and the public ones are closer, I go to the ladies’ room.

As I’m in a stall, sitting on the toilet, I hear the door open.

Customer: “There still aren’t enough onions.”

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, , | Right | May 27, 2021

The city I work for isn’t huge, but we are nearing 100,000 people so we aren’t a small population, either. Twice a year, we flush out our water lines in the street to freshen the water system. This sometimes causes the water to be discoloured, but it is perfectly safe to use and drink.

Every once in a blue moon, if someone runs a wash of white clothes at the same time, the clothes will be stained, but we can give them a bottle of stain remover, and we have never had anything permanently damaged. I answer the phone.

Me: “[City].”

Caller: “My water is a disgusting brown; I can’t use it!”

Me: “Where do you live?”

Caller: “[Address]!”

Me: “I’m sorry. They are flushing the lines in your area, but the water is perfectly safe to use during this time and should clear up by the end of the day.”

Caller: “Why didn’t they tell me? It is dangerous for me because I was going to do laundry!”

Me: “Sorry about that. They aren’t able to inform everyone in person, as it affects quite a large area. I would wait until the water clears to do your laundry, just to be safe.”

Caller: “I can’t believe they wouldn’t tell me! I have allergies, and I can’t be drinking the water when it looks like that! It could kill me!”

Me: “The water is regularly tested and perfectly safe to drink, but if you prefer to wait until it clears, it shouldn’t be too much longer.”

Caller: “It’s dangerous for me! Why wouldn’t they tell me?”

Me: “Unfortunately, they are unable to tell every household, but we do publish it on our website, on social media, in the newspaper, and over the radio.”

Caller: “They can’t expect me to check the website every day?! I can’t listen to the media because the news makes me too sad!”

Me: “I’m really sorry. They do try to get the message out to everyone.”

Caller: “Well, they should tell me! I can’t listen to the news and it’s dangerous for me!”

I finally managed to calm her down, but I have no idea how she thought we would inform hundreds of people a week door to door.

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Don’t Take The Change And Become The Chump

, , , | Right | May 26, 2021

I am serving a high-schooler at the concession stand.

Me: “Your total is $11.90.”

The customer hands me cash, and her change is $0.10. She starts to walk away with her food. I have her change in my hand.

Me: “Oh, excuse me, don’t you want your change?”

Customer: “It’s ten cents.”

She gives me a look like, “Are you serious?” and walks away. Ten cents is still money! I wonder how much change in her lifetime she has refused and what it could add up to?

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With Some Fast Food, It’s Buy Or Die

, , , , , | Right | May 25, 2021

Our debit/credit machine has broken down in the drive-thru, so we are only able to accept cash as payment. This happens during the global health crisis.

Coworker: *Over headset* “Good morning. Unfortunately, our debit machine is not working at the moment. Are you paying with cash today?”

Customer: “No, I only have my card.”

Coworker: “In that case, we need you to come inside to order so you can use a debit machine.”

Customer: “I can’t come inside; I have that bug everyone’s getting and am supposed to be isolating.”

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