Another Red Alert

, , , | | Right | July 7, 2019

(I work for an auto shop. I answer a phone call.)

Me: “Good afternoon. This is [My Name] from the service department.”

Customer: “Hi, is my truck ready?”

Me: “Can you tell me which one is your truck?”

Customer: “It’s a Chevy.”

Me: “Yes, I understand, this is [Location] Chevrolet Service; which is your truck?”

Customer: “The red one.”

Unfiltered Story #156873

, , | | Unfiltered | July 7, 2019

My dad does business with TV products. In this case he was selling an IPTV box; internet TV. He talks with a woman about the features, cost etc. Then this happens.
Woman: “Sometimes I fall asleep while watching TV and I don’t want it to use my internet. Can it turn off by itself?”
Dad: “The box will shut off if the TV is off for a minute.”
Woman: “But I want it to shut off once I fall asleep.”
Dad: “If you want you can put a certain time where it will automatically shut off.”
Woman: “So it can’t detect if I’m sleeping or not?”
Dad: “No, I don’t think there is anything that does that.”
Woman: “Then I don’t want it.”
She later came back and bought it.

Entitlement: Why The World Can’t Have Nice Things

, , , , , , , | | Friendly | July 5, 2019

I retired at age sixty, not rich, but comfortable. I lived alone in my house, as my wife had passed and my kids moved out long before. But instead of downsizing, as everyone tried to convince me to do, I decided to take a different path. I converted my basement into a small bachelor-style apartment. Very small. It had just a kitchenette, bathroom with shower, laundry room, and one living space. I got the basics that someone would need: microwave, towels, plates and bowls, and a few food items.

I then started visiting some local charities, a soup kitchen, and a homeless shelter. I volunteered a few times, but spent time getting to know a few people that were in need. After talking to one particular man, I decided to put my retirement scheme into action, and offer for him to stay in my basement apartment to get him back on his feet. He was obviously thrilled and grateful, and we wrote up a rental agreement: three months for free followed by three months at a very small price — about the cost of a single night in a decent hotel — if he hadn’t found something better by then. The only real limits I put in were that he was to be the only tenant, and I would enter to use the laundry once a week at an agreed time.

It started fantastically. My new tenant and I were becoming friends, and he was getting his life sorted out. He got a job within walking distance. He began to look healthier and happier. After three months, he said he would rather stay, which was fine by me, and he paid the agreed rent for month number four. Then, it started to fall apart.

He stopped talking to me when we crossed paths. He began to complain when I used the laundry, even though I never did it unannounced. When rent for month five came around, he complained that it should still be free and paid only part of the agreed price. As month six arrived, I found out he had no intention of leaving or paying. I’m not sure what changed, or why. I’m convinced there was no alcohol or drug use. But he became angry with me, saying that I should have done more if I really wanted to help him.

After seven months, and being paid rent for only one and a half of them, I had to evict him. It required the presence of police and the changing of locks, and afterward, he came by the house at random times for weeks. It was an indescribable nightmare.

I had originally intended to do the same thing for a different needy person every year, having the tenant during the cold Canadian months. But this was four years ago, and I haven’t had a tenant since.

High, How Are You?

, , , , , | | Right | July 4, 2019

(A customer comes up to my till, and I greet him like I normally would.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “I’m high. How are you?”

(I burst out laughing.)

Customer: *smiling* “Betcha weren’t expecting that.”

Me: “Nope, I definitely wasn’t. I’m doing well, sir. Not as well as you, though.”

Chopsticks: A Million Uses, But Only One Joke

, , , , | | Right | July 4, 2019

(I’m a cashier, and I often put my hair up with chopsticks when I’m working. For some reason, customers always feel inclined to point this out to me or comment in some unimaginative way. This conversation, though, is new. A female customer, middle-aged, comes up to my till.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?

Customer: “I’m doing well, thanks. I like your chopsticks.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Customer: “You know, those things can be surprisingly useful. I used to be a nurse, and once I had to use chopsticks to discourage a patient who was a little too frisky.”

Me: “Really?!”

Customer: “Yep. He was getting a little too handsy, but after a few pokes he backed off.”

Me: “You know, not many people realize there might be more to this hairdo than just convenience. It’s really nice to hear something other than a wisecrack about ‘going out for Chinese food.’ I’ve had way too many of those.”

(The customer and I continue to chat as I finish ringing up her purchases. She pays and the next customer comes up to me.)

Next Customer: “Having Chinese food for dinner tonight?”

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