Cuteness Overload

, , , , , , | Learning | February 8, 2019

(One of my aunts is a high school teacher. One day, she wakes up with a bad case of butterfingers.)

Aunt: *after the third time dropping something in the same class* “It’s a good thing I’m cute!”

(Toward the end of class, she launches into a detailed explanation of what the next assignment is, when it’s due, and other fun details. When she finishes:)

Student #1: “Um, wait… What’s the assignment about?”

Aunt: *gives him a Mom Stare* “It’s a good thing you’re cute!”

Student #1: “What?”

Student #2: “I think she just called you stupid.”

Student #1: “Why?”

Unfiltered Story #139388

, | Unfiltered | February 8, 2019

Where I work, the debit machine is broken and you can only swipe your card.  We tape off the slot where the cards would be inserted and write “no chips”. This does not stop anybody from furiously banging their cards into the tape and then looking up at me in confusion.   At least once a week somebody will pull the tape off, and stick their card in, even though the words ” no chips” are CLEARLY written on the tape.

Oh, Halal No!

, , , , , , , | Legal | February 7, 2019

My friend works as a lawyer. He was invited to a restaurant to meet with a potential employer/business partner, but was not able to attend due to his religious dietary restrictions.

He received the following text message once he let them know that he was not able to attend:

“Kosher was introduced centuries ago when the food supply was unreliable, and many were getting sick.

The same is true of Halal food.

But today, with refrigeration, government inspections and so on, adherence to Kosher is no longer relevant.

I am concerned that we may have difficulty working together if you adhere to this and other non-rational practices.

Including adherence to non-rational holidays. Being a criminal and deportation practice, my phone rings 24/7/365 and I need to be available to work.

I will have lunch and a beer with [Big Lawyer] at an Italian bistro next Thursday.”

My friend was surprised that someone would say something like this on record, being that this is a blatant Human Rights violation in Ontario.

Young People Working These Shifts Are A Steal

, , , , , | Right | February 7, 2019

I work as a supervisor at a coffee shop. One evening a customer called to say that she had left money in the store when she had come in earlier, to the tune of several hundred dollars, which she was apparently carrying around in cash, but could not afford to lose. I dutifully searched the entire store and could not find anything and told her, “Sorry, it just isn’t here.”

I thought that would be the end of it, but she proceeded to come in person shortly thereafter to repeat how desperately she needed that money found and make me search the entire store again. When I again could not locate her money, she repeatedly insinuated that we must have stolen it, since “we don’t make very much here”– her words. She demanded to see the camera footage, and was told no — we can’t even watch the footage ourselves at the store — and finally left in a huff, still apparently certain that we had stolen her money since we’re all just shifty, young, and poor. The whole episode took at least an hour, while we were trying to complete all our closing tasks.

Hey, she was right about one thing: I don’t make very much. But I also don’t lose it all by carrying it around in cash and leaving it somewhere, so guess I came out on top there.

Envelopes Are Scary

, , | Right | February 7, 2019

(I work in a call center for a bank. I get asked so many stupid, asinine questions. This old guy calls in about a letter he received.)

Customer: “Yeah, you people sent me an envelope and I don’t know what for.”

Me: “Um, do you mean like a piece of mail?”

Customer: “Well, yeah, I guess.”

Me: “Okay, and what does it say?”

Customer: “I didn’t open it; I don’t know.”

Me: “Is it addressed to your name?”

Customer: “Yes. It’s a white envelope. It has the weird edges.” *talking about the envelopes with ridges that fold down to tear open*

Me: “Okay, well, I’m not sure, but you could probably just open it.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, I’ll do that next time. I threw it out.”

(He didn’t even still have the d*** thing. I can’t even.)

Page 5/285First...34567...Last