An Odd Way To Get Even

, , , , | Right | December 5, 2019

(I have just boxed six cupcakes for a customer.)

Customer: “You know what? Gimme two more. I don’t like uneven numbers.”

Me: *looking pointedly at the six cupcakes in the box* “Yes, sir.”

1 Thumbs
294

Unfiltered Story #179091

, , | Unfiltered | December 5, 2019

(I am booking in a printing order of photos. When the customer answers my questions, she uses a tone that implies she thinks my questions were stupid)

Me: Do you want these on photo paper?

Customer: No! Just on regular paper!

Me: Ok, and what size would like you them?

Customer: I just want them on paper!

Me: Yes ok, but what size? (I hold up our order form) Would like you them this size?

Customer: NO! Half that size!

Me: Ok (She then shows me she also has a certificate to print, which is a different file type than the photos)

Me: And do you want the certificate full page?

Customer: NO! I want everything half page!

Me: Ok. So just so you’re aware, since there are an uneven amount of photos, and they are different files types than the certificate, the last photo and the certificate will be on their own pages.

Customer: That fine

(Later the customer comes to pick them up, so I show them to her before she takes them)

Customer: Well this looks like a waste!

Me: Why?

Customer: Because the certificate is on its own page!

Me: Yes, I told you it would be, and you said that was fine.

Customer: But it’s a half page. And so this is picture, and they’re not even on the same page

Me: Yes, I told you because they weren’t the same file types, I had to print them separately.

Customer: But I thought you would have printed them full page!

Me: But you told me you wanted them half page

Customer: But when you said they would be on their own pages, I assumed you would print them full page!

Me: Well you told me you wanted them half page, so that’s how I printed them. I can shred them and reprint them for you so they are full page

Customer: No I don’t want them full page! I wanted them half page! And you wasted paper!

Me: Um, I don’t know how you want me to fix this, then.

Customer: I just want the certificate! I want the certificate full page!

Me: Fine

(I reprinted the certificate and then she went to try and tell me she needed everything that way because she was old and couldn’t see. Yes. that makes sense.)

Unfiltered Story #179085

, , , | Unfiltered | December 5, 2019

This story took place a number of years ago, when Osama Bin Laden was still on the run.
I was shopping for groceries at a small local store that had the radio on instead of canned music.

Talk show host on radio: . . . let me tell you why Bin Laden hates America. It’s because he once had an American girlfriend and she told him he had a small penis!
Random grocery-shopping guy (in all seriousness): I KNEW IT! It’s his DICK!!
He ran up and down the aisles yelling this for several minutes, while everyone else just stared.

No Cash, No Time, No Reason

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2019

(I work at a big-box electronics store and we’re not allowed to tell people that we’re closing or ask them to leave once we have already closed. This takes place twenty-five minutes after we’ve closed for the day. This woman has been here for almost an hour trying to return something without a receipt and exchanging it for something else.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can you do this return and web order?”

(I have a bad feeling that it might take a while and I am off in five minutes, but I’ve been told off for talking back to managers before, so I have no choice.)

Me: “Okay.”

(I try to get the woman’s phone number to do the return, but she turns to my manager and starts whining about not getting a free gift along with the new thing she is buying. After five minutes of my manager saying that there is no gift but that he will take $15 off the already on-sale item, she finally lets me do the return. It’s now over half an hour after we’ve closed and there are no more cash tills in the store open.)

Me: “Okay, your total is $73.85.”

(The woman tries to give me cash.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t take cash anymore since we’ve been closed for too long.”

Customer: “I don’t know if I have enough in my bank account for it. Are you sure you can’t take the cash?”

Me: “No, ma’am. All of our tills have been put away. It would take another fifteen minutes to open them up again to take the cash.”

Customer: “Could you just give me a straight exchange, then? Just take more money off so that they’re the same price?” 

Me: *thinking to myself: “No f****** way!”* “I can’t say yes to that; I’ll have to grab my manager.”

(I head over to my manager and tell him what’s going on. He comes over.)

Manager: “I’ve already given you a discount on top of the sale. I can’t do anymore.”

Customer: “Aw, come on, [Manager].”

(She starts giving him puppy dog eyes and flipping her hair, trying to get him to say yes. Thankfully, this manager is better than that.)

Manager: “No, I can’t take anymore off. [My Name], you go clock out, since you were off fifteen minutes ago.”

(I did exactly that and the woman left pretty quickly since she wasn’t getting what she wanted.)

1 Thumbs
448

The Only Thing Broken Is Her Parenting  

, , , , , , | Right | December 4, 2019

(I am on break when this happens but my manager tells me about this. She and a coworker are working in the backroom, organizing and labelling boxes. A child opens the door and throws a mug at them.)

Mother Of Child: “Did the mug break?”

Manager: “No, but—”

Mother Of Child: “Oh, good. We don’t have to pay for it, then. Come along, [Child].”

1 Thumbs
308