(I work for a bank’s call centre, and while it’s not what I primarily deal with, once in a while I handle mortgage problems. It is important to note that in Canada, if you have a mortgage you have to show proof of house insurance or else the bank will automatically add their insurance to your mortgage payment. Without house insurance, you could lose your mortgage with the bank. Their insurance is not cheap. It is also important to note that for privacy reasons, most insurance companies won’t send proof of insurance — which they usually send out yearly — directly to any mortgage holder. On this call, I am transferred an irate customer from a new hire who has no idea how to help him.)

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Bank]; how may I assist you?”

Customer: “I just got a notification that you’re going to charge me for insurance. I already have insurance from [Outside Insurance Broker].”

Me: “All right, let me look into this for you. It seems like we need you to send in a new proof that your insurance is being continued on your house.”

Customer: “Why can’t you get it from my insurance broker? It’s a pain to have to send it in every year.”

Me: “Insurance companies won’t send proof of insurance directly to us without your permission, as they want to maintain your privacy. They should have sent the renewal to you so that you could forward it to us.”

Customer: “I don’t want to do this every year. I have insurance. Why can’t you ask them for the proof that my insurance has been renewed?”

Me: “I’m sorry if I didn’t explain this well. Even if we did ask your insurance company, they would not give us the information. I know that it is an extra step, but in order to not have to pay the bank’s insurance, you just have to send us the renewal information. Would you like me to provide you the information on where to send it?”

Customer: “No, I have it. I just don’t think I should have to send this. It should be up to you to get it. Having to do this every year is an inconvenience!”

Me: “It’s not us stopping us from getting the information. Have you tried asking your insurance company to provide us with the information directly?”

Customer: “I asked. They won’t do it.”

(I pause.)

Me: “So, you are aware that it is not us stopping the information from being sent directly to us?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And you have the information on where to send the proof of insurance?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Sir, if you know that it is your insurance company who won’t send us the proof of insurance, and you have the information on how to get it to us, and you understand that all of this is completely out of our control, I have to ask: what were you hoping to accomplish with this call?”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to send this in!”

(We get people complaining all the time about the prices, which we have no control over. I am ringing an older couple through; they have a couple of items, including one of our more expensive combo ink packages. Their total comes to over $200. They are in the middle of paying when they ask this.)

Wife: “How much was the ink?”

Me: “$142.59.”

Wife: “That’s quite expensive.”

Me: *nodding* “Yeah, I know.”

Husband: “You should be embarrassed.”

Me: *surprised* “Excuse me?”

Husband: *repeats himself*

Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t set the prices.”

Husband: “You should be embarrassed for just having to tell us the price.”

(I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I just finished up the transaction. After they left I just kind of laughed with one of my coworkers about it. The only thing that’s embarrassing is that they couldn’t read the price tag on the shelf when they picked it up.)

(I work at a fast food restaurant that is famous for their bacon burger that comes standard as a double, but you can order it as single or triple, instead.)

Customer: “Hi. Could I have a double [Bacon Burger] and a regular [Bacon Burger].”

Me: “[Bacon Burger] is regularly a double burger; did you want two doubles?”

Customer: “No, I want a double and a regular.”

Me: “Do you want a double and a single?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “No problem. Just so there’s no confusion when you’re trying to order next time, if you order a regular [Bacon Burger] you’ll get a double one. Ask for a single to make sure you get the right thing. Was there anything else I can get for you tonight?”

Customer: “No, just the double [Bacon Burger] and the regular [Bacon Burger].”

(The customer was rolling her eyes at me throughout the whole interaction. Sorry, lady, I’m just trying to do my job so you don’t come back and yell at me for getting the wrong thing!)

Customer: “I’d like bacon, eggs and toast, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t sell toast, but if you order [breakfast platter], It comes with an English muffin, or you can get a biscuit.”

Customer: “No, I want toast.”

(Continues for a few minutes, and she finally orders the platter, with a coffee.)

Me: “And would you like cream in your coffee?”

Customer: “Are you sure you don’t have any toast?”

(Finally finishes her order and goes off to eat. Then comes back.)

Customer: “So when are you getting your toast back?”

Me: “We don’t sell toast, we’ve never sold toast, we’re not out of stock, we don’t sell it.”

(As she’s leaving)
Customer: “You should really get toast.”

(I’m friends with my managers, and because of that I often sit with them during lunch breaks.)

Manager #1: “I am working five days this week! I’m so tired when I’m done with work I just shower and go to bed! You know they’re making us work six days a week starting next week?”

Manager #2: “That is ridiculous! How can anyone have a life with only one day off?”

Me: “I’m constantly working six days a week even though I submitted a form to take back my extended hours. I’d love to have two days off, especially since I’m enrolled in an online school course.”

(My managers stopped complaining after that, or at least around me.)