My mom has fibromyalgia and often flubbs her words, but this was one of the better ones! My 9 year old was going outside and has put on his coat, but not zipped it up.
Mom, in her very stern voice, said “Xander! You haven’t even finished vacuuming your shirt yet!” Needless to say, he was very confused, especially when mom started laughing!
(We sell a certain brand of collectible stuffed animals that are very popular with kids. It’s a very common occurrence to see kids asking their parents for these. A dad and his little girl come to the cash with one of the stuffed animals, and the girl is very excited.)
Me: “Good choice! He’s one of my favorites!”
Girl: “What’s his name?
(They come with names printed in the tags.)
Me: “Slick.”
Girl: “Slick. He’s so cute! Slick, Slick, Slick.” *matter of fact* “It’s a good thing we can use the credit card. You should always keep your credit card on you, in case you need it to buy things!”
Me: *trying not to laugh* “That’s… very good advice.”
Dad: “Especially when you have children.”
(I couldn’t stop laughing after that; they made my day!)
(A mobile customer calls in to check if her bill is due.)
Me: “I can definitely check to see if your mobile bill is due. I’ll just need the cell phone number, please.”
Customer: *gives me the number*
Me: “Okay, I searched that number and it’s not bringing up any results. Is this for your mobile account?”
Customer: “That’s the correct number. I only have one number.”
Me: “So, the number is [number]?”
Customer: “Yes!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t appear that this number is with our cellular services.”
Customer: “Well, no, it wouldn’t be. It’s my home number. My cell number is [other number].”
(I work for a cell phone company. A customer calls in about her bill.)
Customer: “I already paid my first month when I activated.”
Me: “According to my records, you only paid the activation fee.”
Customer: “Yes, that is the first month’s bill.”
Me: “No, the activation fee is separate.”
Customer: “No.”
Me: “Yes. Your activation fee is to activate the phone for services.”
Customer: “You mean to tell me… I have to pay to activate the phone and pay to use it for the first month?”
Me: “That is correct.”
(The customer then started laughing hysterically and hung up.)
(I work for a cell phone company. A customer calls in requesting his account number to transfer to another company.)
Customer: “I’m calling to get my account number.”
Me: “Sure! Your account number is [number].”
Customer: “No, it’s not.”
Me: “Sir, it shows me the account number right here. This is your account number.”
Customer: “No, it’s not. I know my account number.”
Me: “If you don’t mind me asking, if you know your account number, why did you call to ask me what it was?”
Customer: “Uh…” *hangs up*
