That IS Honest

, , , , , | Related | June 25, 2020

My three-year-old has started to get very sneaky, and we’ve had to start double-checking with other adults to make sure he isn’t lying.

He goes upstairs to my mom’s room and asks for TV. He then shuts the bedroom door.

Three-Year-Old: “We need to shut this because Mommy’s on the phone and we don’t want to bother her.”

Grandma: “Okay… Am I going to get in trouble for letting you watch TV?”

Three-Year-Old: “No, I am.”

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Unfiltered Story #197563

, , | Unfiltered | June 23, 2020

(I have just been given my first trainee earlier in the shift. He’s doing pretty well, but there is a *lot* of small details that become second nature after a while that are hard to keep track of. Since I’m not always easily available, I told him that he can ask anyone questions, which he has done already. One of my coworkers has just reminded me to tell him something else.)

Me: “Oh, and, just so you know, while it’s fine to ask anyone for help, don’t take unsolicited advice.” *He starts to look nervous.* “It’s fine, no one’s malicious about it, but we tend to be a rather sarcastic bunch. No one will answer a question wrong, but random advice is probably over half sarcastic. Just… Use your judgement. If it seems wrong or stupid or contradicts something I told you, come ask me. Most of it’s pretty obvious. It’s just that this *is* night shift in a secured building, and we tend to make our own fun.”

*He nods his understanding just as another coworker I’m quite friendly with comes by.*

Coworker: “Hello there! Got any spare cable ties here?”

*There is a bucket of cable ties in it’s usual position barely five steps from me, which he heads right towards.*

Me: *In a sugary sweet, obviously sarcastic tone of voice* “Sorry, just used the last one. I think you’re going to have to go down past [section on the other side of the warehouse] to find any more.”

Coworker: *laughs* “Good to know. I’ll head right there, then!” *He then grabs a handful of cable ties and goes back in the direction he came from.*

Me: *pauses for a moment, then turns to trainee* “Like that. Don’t listen to anything like that, okay?”

Canada: America’s Hat, Part 11

, , , , , | Right | May 26, 2020

This story takes place on the east coast of Canada, in a city with a large, busy harbour, often full of cruise ships. I work in a small store downtown. An American woman and her husband come up toward the register.

Me: “Hi there! I can ring you through right here, if you’re ready.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

They are very friendly, and they recount the tale of their trip up the coast as I ring up her purchases and give her the total, which is just over $15.

Customer: “Do you take American bills?”

Me: “I can take anything under a hundred dollar bill, yes.”

She hands me an American $20, and I return her a handful of coins. Her eyes light up.

Customer: “Oh! Look, honey! It’s Nova Scotian money!” 

Her husband leans over her shoulder curiously to look, taking a nickel out of her hand and turning it over in his fingers.

Husband: “Oh… But wait. Look. They all say Canada on them!”

They pause for a very brief moment, and the customer looks up at me with shock.

Customer: “Wait… Nova Scotia is in Canada?!”

It took all my strength to hold back my laughter until they left the store, and to this day, I worry about the safety of people who get on cruise ships having no idea where they are actually going.

Canada: America’s Hat, Part 10
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 9
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 8

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PIN-Headed, Part 9

, , , | Right | May 5, 2020

Customer: “I’d like to change the credit card that this rental is charged to.”

Me: “Okay, let me change it for you.”

She hands me the card, and there is clearly a male’s name on the card.

Me: “I’m sorry, but unless [Cardholder] is with you, I can’t use this card.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because it isn’t yours and I don’t have permission from the cardholder to charge this card.”

Customer: “That’s why in Alberta we use PINs!”

Me: “We use PINs in Nova Scotia, as well, but you still can’t use someone else’s credit card. PINs aren’t set up so you can give them to someone else.”

Customer: “Why else would they be useful?”

PIN-Headed, Part 8
PIN-Headed, Part 7
PIN-Headed, Part 6

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When A Woman Working Is Still Enough To Floor Them

, , , | Right | April 28, 2020

I am working as the head of the flooring department — atypical for a woman — in a local hardware store. One busy Saturday, I approach a customer.

Me: “Do you need some help?”

Customer: *Smugly* “No, I’ll wait for him to help me.”

My coworker, a guy, is new and knows very little about our products. About a half-hour later, when my male coworker is available, he brings the customer over to me.

Coworker: “Can you help us? I don’t know what he needs for his project.”

Me: *Smiling* “Absolutely!”

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