Many years ago, I decided to rent a van from a [famous moving van company] to move a bunch of stuff from my parents’ house in Nova Scotia to my house in Ontario. A few days after booking the truck, they sent me an email offering me $350 if I also towed a trailer with somebody else’s stuff. It was going to be a pain in the a**, but that was a big chunk of the cost of the rental, so I went for it.

A few days later, I decided to change my truck size, and I tried to contact them to confirm that I could still tow the trailer. I emailed and called multiple times over several days and was bounced between multiple departments, with nobody really knowing what was going on.

Finally, the day before I was supposed to pick up the truck, I called the local hub in Halifax, where we were supposed to stop to get the trailer. I explained the situation. After a little bit of back and forth:

Employee: “I’m very sorry, this is one of those insane things that corporate came up with. There is no way we are giving one customer’s trailer to another customer, and we’ve already told them this multiple times. Do not come to pick up the trailer, and don’t worry, you will still be paid as agreed.”

And I was, and it was good. Doing that drive in a fifteen-foot truck, with a cat, in a snowstorm was pretty stressful, and I’m quite glad I wasn’t also pulling a trailer.

Caller: “I’d like to talk about opening an NSFW account.”

Me: “Excuse me? Can you repeat that?”

Caller: “An NSFW account.”

Me: “Could you tell me what NSFW means?”

Caller: “Nova Scotia Federal Wealth account. My coworker said if you sign up to one, you get $100!”

Me: “I think your friend might be playing a prank on you, I’m sorry to tell you. That type of account isn’t a thing.”

Caller: “Why would this be a prank?”

Me: “Let me tell you what NSFW really stands for.”

I tell him.

Caller: “I’m gonna kill him! He keeps doing this!” *Click.*

This weekend, I was on my way home Sunday afternoon with my family. We live in an area that’s somewhere between rural and suburban; lots of forest, widely spaced properties on the main road, and the side roads.

In one of the (slightly) more populated areas, we had to slow down because there was a fender-bender in the other lane, heading back toward the city. Both cars were still there, waiting for tow trucks or emergency vehicles. Behind them, there was a lot of liquid and debris in the road, but my lane, leading away from the city, was clear.

Up ahead, I could see a guy standing in the street, stopping oncoming traffic, presumably so they wouldn’t either drive through the debris or rear-end one of the crashed vehicles. I also had to slow way down because two women were walking away from the accident on my side of the road.

Then, all of a sudden, three cars pull into my lane and start driving straight at me! I slammed on my brakes, pulled over as far as I could (there aren’t very wide shoulders on the road here), and blared my horn because what the actual h***?

THEN, the two women walking on the side of the road run up and start yelling at me to stop because it turns out HE had been WAVING ONCOMING TRAFFIC into my lane, even though no one was stopping traffic on the other side of the accident.

Basically, this guy with three teeth and half as many brain cells just decided to start waving cars into oncoming traffic, and somehow he and these two other women thought I was in the wrong.

The drivers in the oncoming cars looked as panicked as I felt to find themselves almost in a head-on collision with me.

Dude, it’s nice to stop to help at an accident, BUT IT’S NOT HELPING IF YOU CAUSE MORE ACCIDENTS!

I was at the cash register purchasing some last-minute Christmas items. I overhear the following exchange from two women beside me.

Lady #1: “What was the book she wanted?”

Lady #2: “Oh, what was it called… 1984?…”

Lady #1: “Who is it by?”

Lady #2: “No idea.”

Lady #1: “Well, how many books are in the series?”

Lady #2: “I’m not sure… I think it’s just the one so far…”

At this point, I was able to elicit a laugh from the cashier using eye movements, which indicated “are you hearing this s***?”

I’m working front-of-house in a pet store with my manager and a new hire. A couple of first-time pet parents have just arrived with an adorable little golden retriever pup. Since it’s a slow day and there are no other customers demanding my attention, I spend quite some time helping them pick out products, giving them plenty of advice, and admittedly fawning over their little boy.

Once they have everything they need (and a few things they don’t), I’m about to lead them to the front counter to check out when [New Hire] calls out to us with a tone like he just smelled manure.

New Hire: “If you’re done acting like that f****** dog deserves love and affection, you’re supposed to be working.”

I freeze in my tracks, appalled at his attitude. I’ll admit to standing there with my mouth open for a bit before [Manager] steps forward.

Manager: “Right, get out of here.”

New Hire: “What?!”

Manager: “Get out. You’re fired. I don’t need d****ebags working here who think it’s wrong to care about your pets.”

New Hire: “F*** off! It’s a f****** dog! I’m f****** sick of people fawning over mutts like they’re someone’s baby!”

Manager: “Then you’re a horrible human being with no respect for anyone but your own kind. Get out.”

New Hire: “F*** you, you fat—”

Manager: “GET OUT OF MY STORE!”

[New Hire] flees out the front door. [Manager] proceeds to add a gift card to the couple’s purchase as an apology for his behaviour.

A couple of days later, I’m approached by a woman who I discover is my manager’s boss.

Manager’s Boss: “I’m told you were present when [New Hire] was fired.”

Me: “Yes…?”

Manager’s Boss: “Did [Manager] really fire [New Hire] because he insulted someone for caring about their dogs?”

Me: “Yes, he did.”

Manager’s Boss: “And did [New Hire] really insult someone for caring about their dogs?”

Me: “That’s putting it mildly, but yes.”

Manager’s Boss: “Then good riddance to him. I don’t know why someone who looks down on caring about your pets even applied to be hired at a store based on caring for your pets, let alone how he got hired.”

I do believe I may have found my forever workplace.