(A man comes into the book store carrying a huge box as well as a bag hanging from his arm, and heads straight over to me where I’m shelving some books. I’m a little tired and probably not thinking at full capacity, and so this exchange occurs)
Man: “Do you know what I need?”
Me: “More… arms?”
Man: “A slow cooker cookbook!”
Me: *taking a better look at the box in his arms and realizing it’s a brand new slow cooker* “Right, of course. This way…”
(Thankfully he had a good sense of humour, and he was very friendly and chatty as I helped him find a good cookbook. He made my day!)

(A customer hands me a coupon.)

Customer: “This is for up to $12.99.”

(This is kind of weird, but I assume she is just trying to help me by showing me the fine print. I check it over, and it does say that the item is free up to that value, so I scan through her item — which is only $7.49 — and take the value of the item off. Immediately after that item, however, she has an identical item, and as I go to grab it, she interrupts.)

Customer: “So, the rest of the $12.99 comes off the second item, right?”

Me: “Um, no, it’s for one item, so you just get the $7.49 off.”

Customer: “No. It’s for up to $12.99, so I get the $12.99 off if I buy these two items.”

Me: “No, see, it says right here on the coupon that it’s just for one item, so I can only take that much off.”

(She takes a deep breath before glaring at me.)

Customer: “No. That’s not how it works. My friend had the same coupon, and when she got home and saw they only took the $7.49 off, she came back in, and they gave her the full $12.99 off, so you have to give me the $12.99, too.”

Me: “Well, um, I’m sorry, but–“

Customer: “Is there anyone you can call over that I can speak with?”

Me: “Um, let me grab my supervisor…”

(I grab her and bring her over. The woman repeats her story, and my supervisor carefully reads the coupon.)

Supervisor: “No, I’m sorry, but [My Name] was right; this coupon is only valid on one item. You can only get the $7.49 off. The $12.99 is just there because places price things different and it needs to have a maximum value to protect us.”

(With a huff, the woman grabs the coupon back.)

Customer: “Fine! I’ll take it somewhere else and get them to do it right!”

(She stormed out.)

(I work as a cashier. Sometimes, if people have more than one of the same item, they will only put one up on the belt, and I can change the quantity manually. This customer has seven juice containers but only gives me one to scan.)

Customer: “And times this by six.”

(I look in her cart and see that she has a total of seven items.)

Me: “You actually have seven of these.”

Customer: “No, I said times it by six.”

Me: “But you have seven. Or did you want to put one back and only buy six?”

Customer: “I don’t think you understand. I said times it by six!”

Me: “Okay…”

(I scan the item, change it to six, and put it behind me with the items to go back on the shelf.)

Customer: “What are you doing? I want them all!”

Me: “You said you only wanted six.”

Customer: “No, I said times it by six. You don’t even understand what I’m saying! I want all of them!”

Me: “So, you do want all seven of them?”

Customer: “Oh, my God, this is ridiculous. Listen to me. You scan that item, and you times it by six!”

Me: “But you have seven of them. If you want all seven, then I have to charge you for seven.”

Customer: “Have you been listening to me at all? You times it by six; this isn’t complicated.”

(The customer has been sighing and rolling her eyes at me the whole time, like she can’t believe my stupidity. I decide to stop trying to explain it to her, scan the seventh item, and put it in her bag. She looks confusedly at the screen showing her order for about two minutes, making me worry that she’s going to yell at me for charging her for seven, before finally paying.)

Customer: “My God! Just ridiculous!”

(She stormed out in a huff, leaving me to wonder when counting to seven became so difficult.)

(In Canada, we got rid of the penny, and all cash transactions are rounded to the nearest five cents. I want to purchase a drink at a coffee house that totals $5.61 and I have $5.60 on my card.)

Barista: “There’s $0.01 left owing.”

Me: “Okay…”

Barista: “You owe a penny still.”

Me: “Pennies don’t exist anymore… Do you want me to use my debit for a penny?”

Barista: “You owe a penny!”

Me: “Is there a manager?”

(The manager came over quickly and, exasperatedly, told the barista that you don’t charge pennies because they don’t exist!)

(I see a customer who seems like he’s not quite sure what he’s looking for so I go over to him.)
Me: “Can I help you find anything, sir?”
Customer: *enthusiastically* “Oh yes, thank you!”
(And with that, he promptly turned and walked out of the store. I’m still not sure what he thought I said to him…)